Chapter 20
Kasia’s laptop screen lit up with the call she’d been expecting from her brother. As she was about to pick up, Tierney wandered into the room.
“Kasia, do you know where—oh, sorry, I’ll leave you to it.”
When Tierney closed the door behind her, Kasia connected the call. She’d prefer to chat with Tierney about whatever she’d managed to misplace, but she’d promised Stef she’d catch up with her family on ?wi?to Trzech Króli, Three Kings Day, the traditional last day of Christmas celebrations. It was also the end of Christmas on the island. Today they had to finish the laundry from their Christmas visitors, take down the Christmas decorations, and lock up the hotel for the two-month break. Tierney had really pulled her weight over the rest of the holiday season. It was an impressive transformation, but Kasia wondered how much of it was driven by her need to distract herself from the situation back in Boston.
“Kasia, are you there?”
Her brother’s voice woke her from her reflection, and she remembered what she was doing. “Hi, Stef. Happy Three Kings Day.”
“Katerina…”
She couldn’t hear the rest of the statement as her grandmother was too far from the mic, but her voice, while much frailer than Kasia remembered, still brought a chill to her blood.
“Babcia says to please speak your mother tongue.” He’d already switched to Polish.
After some shuffling of the camera, Kasia could see both her parents, her grandmother, and Stefan sitting uncomfortably on dining chairs, looking as though they’d never made a Zoom call in their lives. She did a double-take when she saw her grandmother. Her once strong, stern features were now slack, and her eyes lacked the glint that had once terrified Kasia.
“How are you all? Have you enjoyed Christmas together? Where are the girls?”
Sometimes, she found words didn’t come as quickly as they used to. She only spoke Polish with her friend Helena in Dublin or on these excruciating calls her brother insisted she take part in.
“Anna and Beata are getting ready for bed. We promised they could talk to you when the adults are done.”
She’d prefer to talk to her nieces, but she’d do her duty first.
Her mother moved her chair closer. “Kasia, you look thin.”
Her voice was laced with worry, so Kasia tried not to take it as a criticism. “I eat well, Mama. But I work hard.”
“Are those Americans still taking advantage of you?”
She shot a glare at her brother and checked that the door to the office was securely closed. Tierney wasn’t the type to listen at doors. Getting her to listen to anything was hard enough. “I have a good employer. The daughter of the family is here helping me, and I’ve now got a few weeks without guests.” Damn, she hadn’t meant to tell them that.
“So, you’ll be coming to see your family, then?”
“Please come home, Kasia.”
“The girls would love to meet you in person.”
“Hold on.” She held up her hand to stem the flow of demands and pleas. “It’s in my contract to remain at the hotel even when it’s closed, so I can’t just take time off. We have a lot of refurbishments to do before we reopen. I can’t make any plans, sorry.”
“But you said your boss was there with you. Can’t she stay while you come home?”
“I’ll need to talk to her about it, but I can’t guarantee anything.” It was easier to say that than tell her family she had no intention of visiting.
“Katerina, why do you not want to come home?” her grandmother wailed.
She looked at the woman who had ruined her life, suddenly so frail and powerless. “I’ll try, Babcia.”
An empty promise to a woman she had no desire to ever see again seemed to placate her parents, and the conversation went smoothly after that, the highlight being the chat with her nieces. She hung up feeling less stressed than after previous calls.
She reflected on her relationship with her family until she was disturbed by a knock, and Tierney peered around the door.
“Hey, did it go okay?”
Tierney’s interest in her life was still a novelty, but it felt good to share. “Yes, thanks. As good as can be expected.”
Tierney dropped into the chair next to her. “Wanna talk about it? No pressure if you don’t.”
“My grandmother’s getting very frail. It feels wrong to fixate on how she treated me, but I can’t let it go.”
“Joey told me a little about how you were forced to leave home at a young age. No one could be expected to put that aside easily.”
Kasia was surprised Tierney knew anything about her life. “It wasn’t just the way she treated me. She made my parents and my brother take her side. I was barely seventeen, thrown out in disgrace with nothing.” She checked to see Tierney was still listening; she’d pulled her feet up onto the edge of the chair and rested her chin on her knees.
“She must be quite the personality.”
Kasia was surprised at how right it felt telling Tierney about the details of her life. She knew she’d soaked up some of her family’s shame, but Tierney wasn’t judging her, and she wanted to share, just as Tierney had talked about her own family issues on Christmas Day.
“When I was a baby, my dad was arrested for belonging to a trade union, and he was held as a political prisoner for five years. My grandmother dropped everything to move in with us to allow my mum to work and support us. When my dad was released, she stayed, and they never challenged anything she said. I worshipped her too, until I came home from college and announced to my family that I had a girlfriend.”
She’d reflected on those dark days so many times it didn’t hurt to talk about the events, but the feeling of betrayal and abandonment still hung over her like a shroud.
Tierney’s brows came together. “Do you want to go home?”
“No.” She didn’t need to think about the answer. “I’d like to see my nieces, sure, but I can’t stand going back to that atmosphere and all those memories of rejection and resentment.”
“Then don’t go. How long has it been?”
She’d bottled up so much for so long, she was glad to let it all out. “I went back every few years to begin with. I gritted my teeth and let my grandmother say all the hurtful things she always said, until I’d done my duty and could leave. The last time was for my brother’s wedding over eight years ago. She was even worse then, pointing out that I was in my thirties, and if I didn’t give up my perverted ways, I’d never find a man and settle down. And I would go to hell, obviously. It was the same old hate. I spent my last night sleeping on a bench at the airport because I couldn’t bear it any longer.”
She let out a long sigh.
“So, I swore I would never put myself through it again.” She noticed she’d mirrored Tierney’s pose while she was talking. “I found peace on this little island, and Peggy always told me I should do what felt right for me.”
“I don’t think you should beat yourself up about it.” Tierney stretched her legs and stood. “Why don’t you invite your brother and his family here? They can stay in the hotel, so they’d only have flights to pay for. Then you get to see your nieces without any of that shit.”
Kasia was touched by Tierney’s kindness. “Thank you, but I can’t imagine them coming all this way.”
“Why don’t you ask? Put the ball in their court, as it were. If it works out, you could invite your folks later.”
Tierney’s optimism was catching. “Perhaps I will. Thanks, Tierney.” She remembered Tierney’s earlier intrusion. “Were you looking for me?”
“Oh, yeah, Joey said they’d left some swimming kit here and wanted me to pick it up. I found it all by myself.” She grinned.
Kasia’s chest tightened at the thought of being left out. “Are you going swimming?” She left the “without me” unsaid.
“We’re all going. I’m to pick you up, and we’ll meet Joey at the harbor. Get your swimsuit.” She left Kasia to put her laptop away and collect her swimsuit.
She filled a bag, put on a warm coat, and headed to the back door to meet Tierney, who was loaded up with her camera bags.
It was a rare still day as they headed for the harbor, and Kasia was glad of it. The weather was cold enough without an icy wind. Queen Maedbh bobbed nearby, her white hull gleaming against the blue of the water. Joey spotted them, gave a wave, and started the engine, cruising over close to the slipway.
Kasia inched her way down, aware of the green seaweed coating the smooth stones. Tierney shot past her, lost her footing, and teetered toward the water, the weight of her bags adding to her momentum. Grabbing her elbow, Kasia caught her weight until she could regain her balance. They ended up in an impromptu embrace, and Tierney looked up at her with a grin.
“You saved my life, Kasia. I’ll be in your debt forever.” She winked.
Kasia’s cheeks burned. “Saved your equipment, anyway. I thought we were swimming, not taking photos.”
“It doesn’t hurt to be prepared.” Tierney hoisted her bags more securely on her shoulders but didn’t object when Kasia took one to carry.
Joey pulled up smoothly next to them. “Kasia saved your ass there.”
“I know. I was just telling her I’m now her servant until the debt is repaid.”
“Shut up, Tierney.” Kasia pushed aside the flustered feeling by clambering onto the boat. She left the bags in the shelter of the wheelhouse and hugged Joey. “Where are we going to swim? It’s going to be a cold one.”
Joey turned to Tierney. “We’re heading to the island, aren’t we?”
Kasia had learned early on the residents of Inishderry referred to the smaller island of Inishkyle as “the island.”
“Oh, wonderful. I’ve always wanted to go. Will there be birds at this time of year?”
“There’s always birds.” Joey laughed. “Especially when the tourists have gone away.”
Tierney carefully stacked her equipment. “It’s too early for puffins, but we’ll see gannets, and if we’re lucky, maybe choughs. Out on the island, they’ll be less afraid of people, so we might get up close.”
“I’ve only brought my swimming costume. Are we staying long?” Kasia felt a little out of the loop.
“Let’s see how it goes, hey?”
Tierney’s smile reassured her in a way it wouldn’t have a few weeks ago. Why not just unwind and enjoy the trip? There was nothing she could do about it anyway. Kasia took herself to the prow of the boat and watched the small island grow closer, the strip of golden sand looking like paradise even in January.
“I can’t believe you’ve never visited before.” Tierney moved up next to Kasia and pointed. “Only five houses were ever built on the island. They all date from the late nineteenth or early twentieth century and belong to the five fishing families of Inishderry. The Moneens.” She pointed to the first small hut by the beach. “The Walshes. Grander, but left to ruin in recent years.” The next building was missing a lot of slates from the roof and had a slight castle vibe to it. “Two are around the back of the island. We’ll pass them later.”
When they turned around the other side of the narrow island, Tierney indicated a tall stone tower. “And finally, the O’Haras. Chieftains of the island of Inishkyle.”
“We’re the only suckers still trying to squeeze a living from these waters, more like,” Joey shouted over the engine noise.
They coasted into the small quay near the tower. Tierney jumped enthusiastically onto the quay with a rope and started to tie up. Kasia remembered her stories of how happy she’d been as a youngster on Inishderry and wondered again how Tierney had stayed away so long.
When the boat was secure, they walked up to the square tower.
“I can’t believe this is the first time you’ve brought me here.” Kasia saw smoke coming from the high chimney. “Is someone at home?”
Joey laughed and shook their head. “It’s just our old fishing hut. I came over this morning and lit the fire. It was freezing in there.”
Joey’s thoughtfulness surprised Kasia. It seemed a lot of effort for somewhere warm to change after their swim. Then the door swung open, and the smell of hot food spilled out. Joey led them in. The square room was lit by a flickering fire in a massive stone hearth on the far wall. Fairy lights were strung up on the walls, and a white trestle table in the middle of the room was set for eating.
“Sorry it’s a little basic,” Joey said.
Kasia rubbed her temples and turned to Tierney. “Aren’t we here to swim? I don’t understand.”
Tierney had a strange smile on her face, but she didn’t speak.
Joey said, “It was Tierney’s idea. She wanted to take you for a meal to say thank you for all you did last year. But nowhere is open on the island this time of year, so we thought we’d do it ourselves. I didn’t catch much this morning though, so we’ve got a beef casserole.” They lifted the cover on a tureen.
Kasia flooded with warmth. “Tierney, that’s so sweet.” She grasped Tierney by the elbows. “You didn’t have to. I was just doing my job.”
“You did so much more than that.” Tierney looked away. “I wanted to thank you, but also to apologize that we left you on your own for so long. You deserved better.”
Tierney’s soft brown eyes were shining. They were so close, Kasia had to remind herself Joey was standing nearby before she did something stupid.
Tierney stepped away first. “So are we swimming before we eat or not?”
“Yes, let’s.” Anything to escape the heavy atmosphere that had descended. She turned to Joey, who was making themself busy in the kitchen. “You coming, Joey?”
They didn’t turn. “You two go. I’ll get the food ready.”
Shit. She didn’t really want to be on her own with Tierney. She needed time to figure out where she wanted this to go.
Tierney had already stripped down to her swimsuit and grabbed her dry robe before practically running out the door. “Just a quick dip, and I’ll be back to help.”
Kasia took her clothes off at a more leisurely pace and followed Tierney down to the quay. A splash and muffled shriek indicated she’d jumped off the end. Kasia favored the more gradual entrance down the steps, but her attention wasn’t really on the water temperature as she replayed the last couple of weeks since Tierney had returned.
Their relationship had moved to a different level. Far from being selfish and lazy, Tierney had revealed herself as a hard worker, and she seemed to share Kasia’s vision for the hotel. They’d developed a rhythm of working together that felt more than right. But it wasn’t just finding someone she could work with. It was the warmth in her chest when Tierney walked into a room. The anticipation she felt when Tierney had gone to the mainland, and she called to say she was on her way back. The warmth turned into something more when Tierney was up close. A heat that brought Kasia back to their night together and to feelings she yearned to revisit.
Tierney had made it clear on Christmas Day that being on Inishderry and working hard at the hotel were her way of coping with the mess at home until she could sort things out with Megan. What would happen then? When Megan called and Tierney went running home? A future together was impossible, so at the end of the day, she’d be left here alone when Tierney upped and left.
If she was realistic about that, could they have something good in the short term? There were still months of winter left before her life got hectic again. Sure, they were going to be busy in the daytime, but the long, dark nights stretched out ahead. Tierney could make them more fun if both were honest about what it meant.
She watched Tierney swim across the bay and wondered if being clear about what this was would it make it any less painful for her when it ended.