Chapter 24
Flicking through the bookings on the system, Kasia wondered about Tierney’s strange mood that had made the refurbishment work less enjoyable these last few days. She was pleased with the progress on the inside of the hotel and couldn’t wait for the weather to improve a little so they could brighten up the outside. Easter would be early this year, and there were only a few weeks until the hotel would start opening for weekend visits.
After the flurry of Easter activity, it would go quiet again for a while. She intended to get the paintbrushes out then, and set to work, whether Tierney was still here or not. They hadn’t discussed how long she was going to stay, and Kasia didn’t want to ask. The thought of Tierney leaving filled her with a pain she didn’t want to touch. Maybe this was why Tierney was pulling away now, so it would be easier when she had to leave.
A bump against her leg alerted her to Fergus on the search for food. She picked him up and hugged him to her. He stiffened and then surrendered, probably figuring if he played along, she might feed him sooner. She buried her face in his soft, thick fur. “I’m thirty-nine years old and relying on a cat to comfort me. Thank you for humoring me.”
He squeezed out of her grip and jumped to the floor. She followed him to the kitchen door and checked her watch. She’d worked all morning and lost track of the time. A saucepan of soup that she’d prepared earlier sat on the hob. Broccoli and blue cheese, just like Tierney loved. But Tierney had gone to the cottage for peace to do some work for a client back home.
Kasia had missed working together more than she could have imagined a few weeks ago when Tierney’s mere presence had been more than enough to annoy her. She pulled out her phone. Hey, what are you up to? I made some lunch if you’re hungry.
She lit the flame under the pot, pulled out a loaf of brown bread, and sliced a few thick wedges, hoping she was preparing Tierney’s food as well as her own.
Sorry, I’m in the middle of this work. If I can get it done today, it’ll free me up for the rest of the week.
Kasia’s chest tightened. It was good Tierney planned to work on the hotel for the rest of the week, but it didn’t diminish her disappointment about today.
Not a problem. I’ll see you when I see you. She dropped her phone and slowly stirred the soup.
The phone buzzed against the worktop. Hell, I’d put lunch with you over work any day. I’ll be there in ten.
She tried to suppress a wide smile. How did Tierney have the power to bring her such joy? No one had ever done that before. She knew deep down the answer was she’d never fallen for anyone the way she had with Tierney. To acknowledge that, even to herself, would be admitting she was headed toward some serious heartbreak.
By the time she heard the front door open, she’d set the small wooden kitchen table with cutlery, and had a pot of tea waiting. Tierney breezed in, looking more cheerful than Kasia had seen her for a while.
“Thanks. When you mentioned food, I realized I was starving. It smells like my favorite.” She sat and looked up with happy anticipation.
Kasia slid a large bowl in front of Tierney. “It is, indeed.”
Tierney looked down at the soup with glee. Crumbled blue cheese slowly melted in the center of the bowl and sank below the surface. When Kasia settled opposite, Tierney picked up her spoon.
They were quiet for the next few minutes. Kasia enjoyed the view of Tierney so focused on her lunch, eating with such delight.
Tierney caught Kasia’s gaze while she was mopping up the last of her soup with a piece of bread. “Thank you. That is the best soup I’ve ever eaten. Do you make it for the guests?”
“Occasionally. There’s a budget for the meals, and it doesn’t often stretch to small dairy artisanal blue cheese.”
“We could do local food nights, though. And charge a premium.”
It was a relief to hear that Tierney had rediscovered some of her enthusiasm. Kasia wiped her mouth and sat back. “We could do many things with enough resource and good marketing. But realistically, those changes won’t happen until we revisit the whole model of the hotel.”
“And you think we should be trying to make those changes sooner than later.”
Kasia sighed. “I think another season of trying to cram as many customers into the hotel as we can means another year where we don’t have time to think about how we could do things differently.”
If she had a chance to talk about this, she had to take it, even if it caused Tierney to retreat.
Tierney leaned back and twitched her nose. “I agree, but I can’t seem to get my dad to agree to anything more than the renovations we’re doing. I’m sorry.” She stood. “You made lunch, I’ll clear up.” Her wink was more like her old self.
Kasia didn’t want to move on without understanding what had happened to push Tierney away. “Did I do something to upset you?”
Tierney looked up from her task and scrunched her face. “What? When?”
“The other night in the Emerald. Am I too much with my dreams for the hotel?” When Tierney said nothing, Kasia went on. “You’ve been a little…off lately. Since that night.” She felt vulnerable asking, but she needed to know where she stood.
Tierney quickly crossed the space and wrapped her arms around her. “Of course not. I love your passion.” She paused and looked away before catching Kasia’s eye once more. “But I don’t know if I can give you what you need.”
Kasia wondered if they were still talking about developing the hotel. She tilted Tierney’s head toward her. “All I ask is that you try, and that you’re honest with me.”
Tierney blinked and nodded, and Kasia kissed her. Outbuilding conversions and en suite bathrooms could wait a while. The need to reconnect with Tierney was much more urgent.
“So, when is this storm supposed to hit?” Tierney clambered around a pile of lobster creels.
Kasia had decided they had been on the receiving end of so many favors from Joey it was payback time. She and Tierney were in their oldest clothes helping sort through a mountain of the traps Joey used to catch lobsters.
“Anything that looks past its best, add to that pile there.” Joey indicated some broken creels at the side of the quay. “The storm’s forecast to arrive Sunday morning, but sometimes they speed up as they cross the Atlantic, so it’s not precise.”
“Will Queen Maedbh be okay?” Tierney looked up from the trap she was inspecting.
“I’ll moor her up tight in the east harbor. It’s sheltered there. She should be fine.”
They didn’t look as confident as they sounded. Joey always had an ear to the weather, so if they were worried, it must be bad. A ripple of fear ran through Kasia. “Tierney, we should have replaced the roof. There’s no point having smart new bedrooms if they’re open to the sky.”
Tierney didn’t look up from her inspection work. “I told you, Dad authorized basic repairs only. I managed to get the renovations through, but a bill for an entire roof would’ve raised all the alarms.”
It was too late to do anything now, anyway, so maybe Kasia should be focusing on a more immediate fear. “We’re both on call for the lifeboat from Friday night.”
Joey looked up. “Technically, everyone’s on call.” They were first helm, so no matter who else turned up, Joey would be going out if there was a shout.
“I wish you’d allow me to help. I’m a more experienced sailor than some people who’ve lived here all their lives.”
Kasia wondered if Tierney had any idea what it was like going out in the kind of heavy seas the lifeboat got called out into. She’d been utterly terrified on every call she’d been on, but she’d taken her turn.
“It doesn’t work like that.” Joey shook their head. “You need training, and we can’t waste those opportunities on people who aren’t here all year round.”
“But I’ve been here all winter. You and Kasia have been out on dozens of calls, and I hate that you both have to risk your lives, and I can’t help.” Tierney slung a broken creel so hard it slid across the quay and almost slipped into the water. “Shit.” She hurried across to retrieve it.
“You didn’t ever say how long you were staying. If you’re gonna be here all summer, talk to Seán. But it’s a commitment.”
Tierney glanced sideways at Kasia. “I don’t know if I’m going to be here all summer.”
“Exactly,” Joey muttered, and resumed their work in silence.
Kasia tried to focus on the job, but her thoughts kept drifting to Tierney’s admission she may leave the island before the summer was out. It was the first time she’d heard Tierney say it out loud, although that was probably because Kasia herself had avoided asking directly, dreading the answer.
When they were done, they helped Joey load the broken pots onto Queen Maedbh.
Joey threw the last pot onto the boat. “Now I just need to add them to the pile behind my house. I wish there was a way of recycling them.”
Tierney sniffed at the fabric of her hoodie, and her nose wrinkled. “I don’t think anyone could possibly find a use for them.”
Joey nudged her. “For someone who claims to love the sea, you’ve got a real problem with the smell of the things that live there.”
Tierney elbowed back. “They smell just fine in the sea. It’s when you tear them away from their homes that the trouble begins.” She sniffed herself again. “Right. I’m off to get a shower. And to burn these clothes.” She jogged off up the quay.
Kasia couldn’t shake off the sadness she’d felt at Tierney’s talk of leaving. She needed a distraction. “Do you want me to help you take those off at the other end?”
“You okay?”
“Yeah, of course. It’s been good to help you out for a change.”
“I mean about Tierney. Sounds as though she might head home over the summer. How do you feel about that?”
Kasia sat down on the end of the quay. Perhaps it would help to talk about it. Who better to talk to than Joey? “I knew she wasn’t staying forever. But I hoped she’d stick it out for the summer. We work well together, it turns out, and once things start to get busy, it would be good to have her here.”
Joey sat down alongside her. “They’re your thoughts. I asked how you were feeling.” They wrapped their arm around her shoulder. “If you want to talk about it.”
She leaned into the embrace, ignoring the smell that pervaded their clothing. She wasn’t going to bottle up her emotions anymore and let them eat away at her. “I hate it. The thought of her leaving makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide under the bed forever.” Eyes burning, she let the tears fall. “I’ve known for a long time that I love this island and running the hotel, but now that I’ve seen what that would be like with Tierney, that’s the future I want.”
She couldn’t help the sob that escaped, and Joey squeezed her tighter.
“I really tried, Joey. I knew it wasn’t forever, and I just tried to enjoy it while I could. But she slipped through my defenses with her thoughtful little gestures and her excitement about things I’d forgotten were meant to be fun. She’s changed me for the better, and I don’t want to go back to being the old version of me.”
Joey loosened their hold and turned to look at her. “And how much of this have you told her?”
Kasia looked away. “She knows how much I like her. But I doubt she sees her future here on this little island.”
“She’s happier than I’ve ever seen her. Don’t underestimate how much you’ve done for her too.” Joey stood and pulled Kasia to her feet. “How do you know where she sees her future if you don’t ask her? Go and get cleaned up and tell her how you feel.”
Kasia wiped her tears with the sleeve of her hoodie, then jerked the garment away from her face. “Ugh, Tierney was right about one thing.”
Joey laughed. “Go on, I’ll finish up here.”
Kasia gave them a final squeeze and trotted up the quay toward the hotel. Finding no sign of Tierney, she headed straight for the shower. As the hot water flowed over her body, she wondered how she could tell Tierney what she meant to her. What if it made her run? It didn’t matter. If Tierney was headed out of her life, it wasn’t going to be because Kasia was too afraid to be honest about her feelings.