Chapter 34
Tierney was proud she’d put all personal thoughts out of her head for the past forty-eight hours and achieved everything she’d planned. She’d landed at Shannon and gone straight to Galway to speak to the bank in person. She could’ve applied online, but she wanted to look someone in the eye and explain how important it was. Now she was returning to the island with all the financial backing they needed and only a few remaining legal formalities before the hotel was officially hers. She was returning to Inishderry self-empowered and invested in the new life she’d chosen.
As the ferry turned to approach the harbor and Walsh’s Waterside hotel came into view, her thoughts returned to Kasia with a crash. What if she’d turned it all around and made it possible for their dream to come true for nothing? Should she have told Kasia about buying the hotel over the phone? She had been still waiting to hear from her dad when Kasia had called, and she’d wanted to tell her when it was unequivocally true she’d bought it. But would it have made her stay? If Kasia was determined to leave, did Tierney even still want to own the hotel? She knew the answer. If she had to do it alone, she would. This was her home now. That thought brought tears to her eyes, blurring the island coming into view.
It wouldn’t be a real home without Kasia.
She sniffed and straightened her shoulders. She couldn’t force Kasia to stay, but she could give it her best pitch. She had to tell her how she felt, even if it was the last time they talked.
“Hey, sniffy, need a handkerchief?”
At Aoife’s humorous tone, she turned. The last thing she wanted was to joke, but she needed to lighten the mood that bore down on her. She looked around in mock horror. “Who’s driving this boat?”
“Ha. Jacky’s finally got his license. Don’t change the subject. What’s got you all misty eyed?”
“I’ve got to make this work, and Des and your dad need to be on board. I’m not fighting them to make this happen. We need to work together for the good of the island and its people.”
“You’re preaching to the wrong congregation. I’m as sick of their childish feud as you are.”
“Will you back me up? I mean, really.”
Aoife stamped her boots. “I will. And I’ll talk to Christy.”
“Thanks, Aoife. This means a lot to me.”
“You and Kasia will be a great team. It’ll be such a lift for the island.”
She tried to keep her smile fixed, but Aoife frowned.
“Is everything okay with you two? You left in a rush before, and no one would tell me anything.”
“I hope so. We had an argument before I left.”
Kasia had said she didn’t trust her. But Tierney would fight for the chance to rebuild that trust with everything she had.
“She was pretty taken with you. You can’t just walk away from that kind of connection.”
You can walk away from anything if it doesn’t make you feel safe. Still, it was nice to hear Aoife say that. “I’m gonna try my hardest but whatever happens, I’m committed to the Waterside now.”
Aoife wrapped her arms around her waist. “That’s good to hear, cuz. This island is better with you on it.”
When the boat docked, she was first off by a length. She took the walk at a slow jog, her backpack weighing her down only a little. She wondered if Kasia was watching from the big window, but the reflection on the glass made it hard to tell.
She’d left without keys, and she hadn’t spoken to Kasia since she’d said she was leaving. What if Kasia had gone to Dublin to finalize her contract?
“Please, please don’t have left yet,” she murmured.
She hammered on the door and stood back, dropping her backpack to the ground. The door opened, and her heart quickened at the sight of Kasia standing there. Her usually smooth hair was tousled like when they woke up in bed together. “Hi.”
Kasia blinked. “You came on the early ferry?”
Tierney guessed she deserved that reaction. “I’ve got a lot to do and a woman to convince to stay with me. No time to lose.” There was a long pause. “Can I come in?”
Kasia stepped back from the door. “Yes, of course. It’s your property.”
For the first time that was truly correct, and Tierney felt a rush of pride.
“Will you be staying at the cottage? I’ll need to go and make it up.”
Kasia kept her distance, but Tierney couldn’t handle the distance in her eyes. She moved closer, desperate to wrap her arms around Kasia, but she sensed it wouldn’t be welcomed. “I was hoping I could stay here. With you.”
“Of course. I’ll have to make up one of the budget rooms. The deluxe rooms are still uninhabitable.” Kasia turned for the stairs.
Tierney rushed across and grasped her hand. “Kasia, please.”
Kasia stopped on the first step, giving her an even bigger height advantage. She didn’t pull away, but her face was unreadable. Tierney knew her well enough now to understand she was trying to protect herself, rather than not feeling anything.
“I said I needed to talk to you. That’s why I’m here. Mainly. Please give me a chance to explain.” She felt so out of control. A small part of her wanted to run and get away from it all. She dug her nails into the palm of her free hand. She was never running away again.
Kasia gently freed her hand. “Come up. I’ll make coffee.” She turned and continued her ascent, leaving Tierney staring after her.
She shook herself, retrieved her bag from outside the front door, and threw it onto a nearby sofa. Then she took the stairs two at a time in a rush get everything out in the open. She should’ve prepared better for this moment. Should she lead with the practicalities? Or should she open her heart and tell Kasia how she felt about her?
She burst into the room loudly enough that Kasia looked up from the coffee pot. Now she wished she’d taken her time on the stairs. She looked around, trying to get her thoughts in order.
“Why don’t you open the doors and let some air in? There haven’t been many days so far when we’ve had warm weather.”
Tierney stumbled gratefully to the doors and swung them open. The fresh air, salty with a hint of seaweed, relaxed her immediately. She pulled two chairs up to the small table, even though she was far too restless to sit. She backed up against the balcony rail and watched Kasia prepare her coffee just as she liked it.
When Kasia came out onto the balcony, she glanced at Tierney’s fingers, drumming an impatient tattoo on the wooden rail. She stilled them immediately.
Kasia sat, sipped her coffee, and looked up with raised eyebrows.
“I need to tell you…” Whatever order of revelations she had decided on went out of the window when she saw Kasia’s blank expression. It conveyed so clearly how vulnerable Kasia felt.
Tierney dropped to the other chair and pulled it close to Kasia’s. “I need to tell you I’m so sorry I let you down. I love you, Kasia, with every inch of my being, and I never want to let you down again. I’m sorry I made you feel unsafe or unloved. I’ve been floating through life, lost and so self-involved that I couldn’t move in any direction without doubting myself. And because of that, I ran from anything that could matter. I ran from you, even when I knew I was in love with you. I should have told you ages ago, but I was scared.”
Kasia blinked. “I was afraid too, but I told you.”
“I know. I don’t think we’re in any doubt about who’s braver.” She took Kasia’s hand. She needed physical contact to get this all out. “But you give me courage, Kasia. You made me believe I could do this.”
“To tell me how you feel?” She looked confused, but she didn’t pull her hand away.
“Well, yes, the thought of you leaving me was so much more terrifying than facing my feelings. But also, to buy the hotel from my dad and secure funding for the redevelopment. All of it. You made me believe in myself and in the dream we started creating together.”
“You own the hotel? Are you telling the truth?” Kasia’s eyes widened.
Tierney winced a little at the thought that Kasia doubted what she was saying. “I convinced my dad to sell. And I’ve just signed a business loan that will allow us to do all the work. Properly this time. The self-catering apartments, the camping domes, everything we planned for. Everything you imagined. I love you, and I believe in what we can create together. If you’ll stay.”
Kasia smiled tentatively, and her eyes shone. “And you did all of that for us? And for Peggy?”
Tierney nodded. “And for myself, because this is where I want to be, Kasia. With you on Inishderry. And together, we can find a way to make everything else work out.”
The brightness of Kasia’s smile faded a little. “Even after the way I spoke to you? I’m sorry I pushed you away. I made it easy for you to leave, and then resented you when you did.”
Tierney shrugged. “I know. It’s okay.” It still hurt, but if she’d done more sooner, the hotel would still have a roof.
Kasia put her hands on Tierney’s shoulders. Looking into her eyes, Tierney saw love and a small bit of regret.
“It’s not okay. I told you before that you needed to stop believing your family every time they said you were a failure, and then I did exactly the same thing. I promise I will never treat you like that again.”
Kasia leaned in and captured Tierney’s lips with her own warm mouth. Relief overtook her as she felt her own warm tears mingle with Kasia’s. She’d missed her so much.
After a few long moments, Kasia pulled back. “I love you, Tierney Walsh, more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I trust you with our future.”
For once, being told she was trusted didn’t fill Tierney with a conviction she would mess everything up. This place—this love—mattered. She stood, pulling Kasia with her. “What about your new job? I don’t want you to let anyone down.”
“I didn’t take it.”
Tierney felt her jaw drop. “You said you had to give them an answer immediately.”
“I did. But the answer was that I didn’t want the job. It wasn’t right for me, and I really wanted to wait to hear what you had to say.” She smiled. “I’m so glad I did.”
“You thought I might pull it together?”
“I hoped you would.” Kasia put her arms around her.
“I should have tried harder, sooner.” Tierney shivered under Kasia’s touch. “I can’t believe I nearly lost you just because I was so lost myself.”
Kasia kissed her forehead with lips that felt like fire. “We’re here now. Where we belong. So, much as I’d love to take you straight to bed, I’m guessing there are things you need to do.”
“There are still a few loose ends I need to tie up. I don’t want to do this with my uncles being a constant thorn in our side. How would you like to help me organize an island meeting?”
Kasia grinned. “I’d love to. And both of your uncles are on the island for the week, so they’ll have to come along to keep face.”
Tierney took her hand, and they headed downstairs. For the first time in her life, she knew without a doubt she could face anything and everything, as long as she had Kasia at her side.