25. Natty
TWENTY-FIVE
NATTY
PRESENT
My eyes were red and itchy when I finally woke up.
The sun came in unhindered through my window. Silas wasn’t with me, which had me pressing my fingers into his side of the bed.
Where had he gone, and why would he leave me after such an emotional night?
Maybe he’d told me where he was going and I just missed it…there was so much that I had pushed out last night, not allowing it to touch my already fractured heart. I had ignored what people were telling me left and right, and then Silas was holding me and I passed out.
Standing, I stretched and on instinct inspected the window to ensure no more nefarious notes were left behind. Then started moving around to get dressed.
My cell was plugged in, but when I pulled it free, there was no message from Silas, or any sort of phone call or update.
Which was weird…but I shook it off.
Facing the downstairs kitchen was going to be too much at the moment, so I opted to eat in my room while putting on the news.
Sad. Depressing. Horrific. Nothing good ever came from turning on the television unless it was navigating to my favorite tv show.
I pressed play on something familiar but zoned out, too confused and hurt to focus. My toast was gone, but I couldn’t stomach anything more. I was slowly curling into a ball onto one of the cushions when someone knocked on my door.
I felt like I was moving through molasses as I walked to open it. Laura, Callie and Penelope were on the other side, all teary eyed and wearing pajamas. We all were quiet, just staring at each other as grief swelled among us like a summer thunder cloud.
Callie came into my arms first, a sob stuck in her throat, and I held her so tight that I started shaking. She’d known Red her entire life; she was like a mother to her. Pen and Laura were around us moments later and we all just fell to the floor in one big support hug.
My friend’s pregnant belly was getting bigger now, so we were all careful of her. We all cried for Red, and for Brooks, and for the attacks the club seemed to keep taking. It felt like an hour before we detangled and dug into the donuts Laura had picked up from The Drip. I had just barely checked in with them, returning for a few shifts before swapping with Allison, having her wear my apron when I wanted to lose the detail Silas had put on me.
“You seemed really upset with Silas yesterday, Natty,” Laura said, glancing back at my empty bed. I was so tired that my head drifted to the side, inspecting the still unmade bed, empty and cold. Once I focused on the group again, everyone’s gaze was on me.
Callie swiped at her face and then brought a cream filled donut up to her mouth and took a generous bite. “What’s this I heard about Fable calling you Silas’s wife?”
Penelope’s gaze swung over to me, and Laura was nodding.
“Yeah, I was curious about that too.”
Guess it was time to start explaining this entire thing with Silas. The one thing I’d been tight-lipped about all these years. Bitterness twisted in my chest as I took a bite of a maple bar and began explaining to my friends how I had married Silas at nineteen and for the first time since meeting these women, telling my story.
About thirty minutes and an entire box of tissues later, my best friends were all crying.
“Oh my god, Natty.” Pen wiped her eyes. “These postpartum hormones are bad enough but girl, you’ve been the fuck through it. ”
“It sort of puts into perspective when he showed up, demanding you go with him after the attack,” Laura added.
I glanced back and forth among my friends.
“What are you talking about?”
Callie got up and headed to my kitchen for some water. “I wasn’t there, but I heard about it from those two.” Her voice echoed from the fridge.
My head snapped back in place, staring at Penelope and Laura.
“He showed up that night we were putting everything back together…before we realized he wasn’t with you,” Pen started, but Laura butted in by leaning toward me.
“He walked in like some god of death…it was slightly terrifying and also absolutely so fucking cool all at the same time, and when Killian went to thank him for helping, he brushed it off like it was nothing and just said he was there to collect you. That he’d promised he would be back for you at some point, and that day had come.”
Pen’s eyes softened as if she were going back in time. “When we all realized you were gone, he sort of broke…he walked outside and sunk to the ground.”
Callie returned with four water bottles gathered at her chest.
“So to hear that you guys are married…gawwwd, I’m swooning, Natty.”
My friends continued to chat about it, but my mind was racing.
He’d come for me.
He came for me before he even knew I was missing.
My heart lifted with hope and soothing out all my assumptions and fears. I needed to see him, but I had no idea where he’d gone or when he’d be back. He wouldn’t leave me though.
Not after me losing Red…not after realizing he’d come for me.
It was dusk and Silas still hadn’t appeared or responded to me. My arms were folded over my chest as I stood at my window, watching the backyard and seeing the way the clouds looked like a bottle of orange and purple powder had been spilled.
My phone was clutched in my fist, where I prayed and hoped it would buzz with something from him. Any sort of answer or indication that he was alive and okay.
I had yet to go downstairs, still too nervous about seeing the kitchen without Red standing inside it, sassing everyone around.
My heart felt too heavy for my chest.
The sky continued to darken, which meant I finally closed my shades. The light from below peeked up at me, indicating the guard that was stationed below my window. I hadn’t noticed him all day but now that it was dark, his light revealed that he was changing shifts with someone.
The guards.
I quickly walked across the floor and pulled my door open. Garrison was there, standing against the wall, staring at his phone. He lazily glanced up at me.
“Do you know where he went?”
Garrison’s brow furrowed.
“Silas, I mean…I’m sure he had to have told you where he went, right?”
Garrison gripped the neckline of his cut and glanced down the hall.
“He left around two in the morning, and I think he was headed down to see Alec. Hasn’t been up since and I haven’t heard anything from him…but.”
I was about to go down the hall when his last word stopped me.
“But…”
Garrison looked physically uncomfortable as he shifted on his feet.
“I got a text earlier from one of my friends in the club…Silas showed up and…”
He was starting to annoy me with how he kept cutting off his sentences. His eyes were on me, his face looked solemn as he hesitated.
“What did he do?”
“Could just be a rumor but every single person who rode with Dirk, who was part of that era…he crucified them after burning down his old house.”
He… oh my god .
My hand came to my mouth as I tried to breathe through the shock of what had happened.
“How many would that be?” My voice was a rasp as my mind swirled.
“If I had to guess…I’d say it would be around a dozen or so…and from what I understand, he placed them upside down on the crosses.”
I was going to be sick.
Why would he…
Suddenly, it hit…he’d talked to Alec and then he burned down our old house, the group of men with Dirk.
He knew.
I walked past Garrison and ran down the hall, scaled the stairs and pushed through the front door.
The garage where they kept Alec was lit up enough that I was able to see him sitting on the floor, chained to a pipe. There seemed to be a shift in guard because he wasn’t currently being watched by any Stone Riders.
My flip flops slapped against the concrete as I covered the vast garage. There was a slight breeze coming in through open bay doors, ruffling Alec’s unruly hair.
His turbulent gaze landed on me the second I entered and remained on me as I drew closer.
“You look worried,” were the first words Alec said to me.
I dropped my hands and stretched my fingers out as a way to help funnel my fear.
“Did Silas come and talk to you last night?”
Alec’s gaze narrowed. “He came down here last night…” He trailed off, blinking and wetting his lips, like he was struggling to remember. He seemed lethargic.
I crossed my arms. “And?”
His eyes came back up like he’d forgotten I was there. “He wanted to know what my angle was with all this.”
“So you guys talked about you?”
His head hung, like he was too tired to keep it up.
“Have they given you any food, water?”
“Don’t worry about me, Artie.” His face came up, and then his sling moved, like he was trying to move his amputated hand .
“I’m not worried about you, Alec. But I need you awake enough that you can answer a few fucking questions.”
Across the garage they had a fridge they kept stocked with water and food. I walked over, briskly, agitated that I had to help him at all. Once I had a few water bottles in my hand and someone’s sub sandwich, I returned to Alec’s place on the floor. I only hesitated for a second before twisting the cap on the bottle and handing it over to him.
His eyes remained on me as he downed the entire thing as if he hadn’t had a single thing to drink all day. Then he began unwrapping the sandwich.
I was sitting on the floor, my legs folded, close enough that Alec could kick me if he wanted to.
I gave him a second before trying to get more answers from him, but he beat me to it.
“We talked about you…I got angry with him for making me feel like shit. I told him I fucked up with you and needed to apologize. Silas reminded me that even if I did, you’d never forgive me. So I lashed out and made sure he was reminded of his failures with you, except he never knew about them.”
Fuck.
A fissure of panic settled in my chest.
“You told him about Dirk?”
Alec nodded, taking another bite.
I looked down, tugging at a loose pebble in the groove of the floor. After Christmas, I made it my mission to avoid Alec. Which wasn’t too difficult but then during one of the times Silas was gone, he’d been there, with The Death Raiders, partying and found his way to my back door.
I didn’t let him in, but I took out two beers and sat in the garden under a star-speckled sky. I cried while explaining that I was trapped in a house with memories that haunted me every single day. I had confessed a few things about Dirk, and my fear of him. Not a ton, but a few details had slipped through the later it became. Alec hadn’t said much, and when I was ready to call it a night, he merely waved at me and watched me go inside.
“How did he take it?”
“Not well.” Alec snorted, shaking his head. “I think he short circuited…he left the garage, got on his bike and flew out of here like a bat out of hell.”
“I wish you hadn’t told him.” My voice was feeble, but I still said it. I knew I owed Silas the truth, but I’d rather he’d never known than ever blame himself for it.
Alec stared at me, grabbing for another water bottle.
“I wish you had a long time ago…maybe you guys would have broken up. Maybe, selfishly, I imagine a scenario in which you tell him, he blames himself so much he can’t be with you. In that scenario, you fall for me. You love me and instead of sadness in your life, all you have is sunshine.”
“What, then you’d never have had to kidnap me?” I glowered at him. “Besides, I don’t want a life full of sunshine. I create my own and crave a cool place to retreat when my world is too big and too bright. Silas and I would have continued even through me telling him, just like we will now. I know he’s hurt, but we’ll get past it.”
My brother-in-law focused on me, as if he was calculating what to say next. His mouth parted with something else he wanted to say, but he shut it just as fast while focusing on the floor.
“I’m sorry, Natty. I’m so fucking sorry for what I did to you. I…” He started, then stopped, as if he were rethinking what he was going to say. A tiny kernel of pity must have been stored up in my chest because it came out, unfurling like a pod in spring. I gently kicked his boot, which had him looking up.
“I was coming for you…to protect you from Fable. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I wanted to help you. If you need help finding him, then use me. I’ll do whatever I can to keep you safe.”
Right as he said that my phone pinged with a text.
Giles: I have one…you gotta come tonight though. He’s connected to too many people.
I put the phone down and inspected Alec.
“What?”
“How are you with interrogations? ”
That contemplative expression swept over his features again. “I’m pretty damn good, about as good as Silas.”
That’s exactly what I needed.
Since I had no way of finding Silas and this window was about to close, my only option was to trust Alec. For some reason I believed him when he said he wanted me safe from Fable. His father had raised the stakes, and if that meant he’d help me locate his father, then that’s exactly what I’d use him for.