Chapter 44
forty-four
ELLIE
I rock myself back and forth on him while I bite my bottom lip out of pleasure. Rowan Williams has certainly been blessed. I bend down to kiss him deeply while I run my fingers through his hair. I never want this to end.
“Lift your hips for me, baby,” Rowan tells me deeply with a whisper of his lips.
I do as he says, and he takes himself in his hand and props it up perfectly for me. I feel the tip of him, and I bury my face in his neck. The feel of him makes me lose control, and I bite his neck gently. To my delight, this gets a groan out of him.
I smile to myself and bite him again. I bite and suck and lick.
“You are going to drive me fucking crazy, woman.” He shoves himself into me, and I cry out in a moan.
He holds my hips and pumps himself into me while I continue to move my lips on his neck, shoulder, and jaw.
I can feel our bodies heat up and feel the sweat begin to build as we both work our muscles and energy. Using every ounce that we have in us. I push myself up and he stops once he realizes that I’ve taken control now. I slowly ride him and keep my eyes on him.
“Play with your nipples for me,” he commands.
With a smile, I pinch them and apply just enough pressure that makes me arch my back in pleasure. When Rowan did that before, I felt my body lose control. I never thought I’d like the pleasure and pain part of sex.
“That’s it, baby, keep doing that for me.” His hands roam my body, and he continues to praise me. “You see how incredible we are together? Our bodies are made for each other. I was made for you. I want to drown in you.”
I try to bury myself in him more and more. I want all of him, not just this, but his love, his devotion to me. I haven’t felt like this with any other man. He makes me see stars that I didn’t know existed.
“This is only for you, baby,” he says with so much roughness in his voice. He sits up, holding onto me, while I continue to ride him. I feel myself rubbing on him in the best way possible. “I want you to come for me again.”
My arms wrap around his neck, and he buries his face into my chest. I feel his tongue glide over my nipple and then his teeth biting down on them. One at a time.
“Fuck, keep doing that, it feels incredible,” I tell him.
I feel him smile as he sucks at my nipple and licks it again. His teeth gently graze against the hardness, and he lightly bites it. I feel my orgasm about to reach the surface of my body, and I tilt my head back, giving Rowan more access.
“Rowan, I’m?—”
He bites down again, and I start to feel myself lose control. I ride him quicker and messier, my moans becoming louder as I call out his name like he’s a fucking God. My God. I hear his breathing pick up, and before I know it, he has me on my back, and he grips the headboard.
He thrusts harder and harder into me as I ride out my high with him. The sound of the headboard hitting the wall over and over with each thrust. Who knew a sound like that could be so beautiful? I match his rhythm, moving my hips as we push together.
“Fuck,” Rowan yells out. He groans as his thrusts get deeper and slower. He bends down and kisses me passionately with incredible intensity, then buries his head into my neck and moans my name into my ear, making me feel like I’m his goddess.
I feel the warm sensation of him pouring into me, and I want to moan and cry and tell him I love him. The connection this brings us. This moment we’re sharing together has my emotions in overdrive, and I wonder if he feels the same way. It’s like we’re solidifying something so special, so magical.
His movements begin to slow down while we catch our breath together. He picks up his head and looks at me, then kisses me over and over. On my lips, my cheek, my jaw, my neck. Every spot he can reach.
I still feel him inside me throbbing, and I don’t want him to leave me. I want him to stay inside me just a little longer. He knows it’s what I want without saying anything because he doesn’t pull out just yet.
I can feel my eyes watering before I can catch myself and make it stop. But I can’t. The tears stream down my face and onto Rowan's cheeks. I’ve never felt so overwhelmed in such a good way.
He lifts his head, still holding onto me, still in me, when he asks, “What’s wrong? What happened?” His brows knit together, and the look in his eyes shows so much love and care for me.
I shake my head and smile. “Nothing is wrong. This is just,” I whisper, grabbing his face gently, “perfect.”
His face relaxes, and a smile tugs at his lips.
Our arms stay wrapped around each other as we lazily kiss.
* * *
We barely get any sleep throughout the night. We held each other, talking quietly and bringing up old memories. Sometimes, we would find ourselves lost in each other again. Orgasm after orgasm. Kiss after kiss. I couldn’t get enough.
“Is this what it feels like?” I ask quietly as we lay in bed.
“What?” he whispers.
The sun starts to shine through the curtains, and we bury ourselves under the blankets, wanting to block out the world so it’s only the two of us.
“To be absolutely, head over heels, crazy for someone?”
Our fingers intertwine, and he brings my knuckles to his lips, kissing them one by one.
“I’m afraid I’m going to wake up, and find out this was all a dream,” he says.
“Me too.”
We’re both quiet for a moment, brooding in our own thoughts. We don’t take our eyes off each other, but I can tell he wants to ask me a question.
“What’s on your mind?” I finally ask.
He holds my hand close to his face, practically snuggling with it.
“Are you going to stay?” he whispers to me.
I stare at him with so much love in my heart that I can’t stand the idea of leaving him again. But…
“I still need to figure things out,” I answer him.
His eyes close, still pressing my hand into him.
“Stay, Ellie. Stay for me.” He opens his eyes, and I watch a tear fall from the corner. The glossiness makes his eyes look like the deep blue ocean.
I bite the inside of my lip. This is all I wanted to hear him say. So why is it so hard to accept it?