6. Logan
Chapter 6
Logan
B y the time we finally crawled into the tent, it was well into the early hours of the morning. The coyotes had harassed the cattle all night, and I was so exhausted from chasing them away that I could barely see straight. All three of us decided to go to bed at the same time considering dawn was only an hour or two away. We didn’t have long to sleep anyway before another grueling day on the trail. The only good news was, we were getting close to home now. Another day or two and we’d be done at last.
The moment I got in the tent, I stripped down to my underwear and crawled into the sleeping bag without a second thought. However, when the tent flap opened and Dakota stepped inside, I realized I’d made a mistake.
In my exhausted haze I’d forgotten all about the fact that we were still sharing a tent.
Dakota paused in the entrance, his silhouette framed by the fading moonlight. For a moment, neither of us moved. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, suddenly wide awake despite my bone-deep exhaustion.
He cleared his throat softly. “Sorry, I can wait outside if you need a minute.”
“No, it’s fine,” I said quickly, my voice sounding strained even to my own ears. “I just... forgot we were sharing. Come on in. I can put some clothes back on.”
“It’s fine,” he replied without missing a beat. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”
A streak of jealousy flashed through my veins as I imagined him with another man. Then I checked myself. Not only was it not my place to feel possessive of him, but he was probably just talking about his own body. We were both guys after all. How different could we really be?
“Alright,” I murmured, keeping my back to him.
Dakota hesitated for another heartbeat before ducking inside and zipping the tent flap closed behind him. The small space suddenly felt impossibly intimate as he settled onto the sleeping bag beside me. I could smell the scent of leather and sage that always clung to him, mixed with sweat from the long night’s work. None of us had bathed in days and yet, he still smelled pleasant.
“Rough night,” he murmured, his low voice rumbling in the small space.
“Yeah,” I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. “Those coyotes were relentless.”
I could hear Dakota shifting beside me, the rustle of fabric as he removed his boots and outer layers. The tension in the air was palpable, thick enough to cut with a knife. I kept my eyes fixed on the canvas wall of the tent, afraid to turn and face him.
“You did good out there,” Dakota said softly. “Not many cowboys could handle a night like that. And you put them all to shame.”
I felt a flush of pride at his words, mixed with a twinge of annoyance at being called a “cowboy.” But I couldn’t deny the truth of it. I’d grown up on the ranch after all. Despite whatever I wished to be true, ranching was in my blood. I was raised in this life and while I didn’t like it, that’s who I was.
“Thanks,” I mumbled. “I’m just glad it’s almost over. I don’t know how you do this all the time.”
Dakota chuckled, a sound that seemed to vibrate straight down to my groin. “I’m sure you’d do just fine as a full-time cowboy,” he replied.
“Maybe. I just don’t want to be.”
“I know. But you’re still good at it.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Right.”
I felt the sleeping bag shift as Dakota settled in beside me. The warmth of his body radiated through the thin fabric, and I was acutely aware of every inch of space between us. My skin prickled with goosebumps despite the stuffiness of the tent.
“You cold?” Dakota’s voice tinged with concern.
“No, I’m fine,” I lied, willing my body to stop betraying me.
There was a long pause, filled only by the sound of our breathing and the distant howl of a coyote. Then, hesitantly, I felt Dakota’s hand brush against my arm.
“Listen,” he said softly. “I know this isn’t easy for you. Being out here, I mean. Doing all this.”
I swallowed hard, fighting the urge to lean into his touch. “It’s fine. I can handle it.”
“I know you can,” he replied. “But I know this whole trip has been tough on you. Between the cattle and Beau… it’s a lot to deal with.”
Glancing over my shoulder, I caught his eye, my heart pounding. “W-Why are you being so nice to me?” I asked, my words betraying my anxiety. “Before all this you didn’t even want to speak to me and now you’re being so… I don’t know… concerned .”
Dakota pulled his hand away, that small smile of his fading away. “Sorry. You’re right. I overstepped.”
I grabbed his hand, turning over before I could stop myself. “No. That’s not what I meant.”
He just stared up at the tent ceiling, barely breathing. “What did you mean?”
It took me a moment to find my words. I wasn’t sure if I should even speak them aloud. I didn’t want to bother the man who’d already been so bothered by my sister for years. He deserved his peace and quiet, but I wasn’t sure I had the strength to resist.
“Well, when I told you about Caroline the other day,” I said at last. “I offered to hang out sometime. Even if we didn’t talk. And you… well, you seemed very uninterested I guess.”
Dakota was quiet for a long moment, his eyes still fixed on the canvas above us. I could feel the warmth of his hand in mine, neither of us pulling away.
“I wasn’t uninterested,” he said finally, his voice low. “I was... scared.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Scared? Of what?”
He turned his head then, meeting my gaze in the dim light. “Of this,” he whispered. “Of feeling something I ain’t supposed to feel. You’re the boss’s son and I’m just… well I’m nobody.”
Time seemed to stand still as we looked at each other, the air between us charged with unspoken tension. I could hear my own pulse pounding in my ears.
“Dakota,” I breathed, barely able to form words. “What are you saying?”
Instead of answering, he reached out and cupped my cheek with his free hand. His touch was surprisingly gentle for a man with such rough, calloused hands. But instead of pulling me in like I hoped he would, he just patted my cheek and let me go.
I held my breath, every nerve in my body on high alert. Dakota’s fingers lingered on my cheek for a moment before he slowly withdrew his hand. The loss of contact left my skin tingling and my heart wanting more.
“I’m saying,” he murmured, his voice low and raspy with exhaustion, “that I’ve been fighting this since the day I met you. But out here, away from everything... it’s getting harder to ignore. I feel drawn to you, but I don’t know why. Hell, we hardly know each other. That alone should’ve told me to stop. But for some reason, I can’t.”
My heart thundered in my chest. I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice. “I... I’ve felt it too,” I admitted softly. “I just didn’t think you’d ever...”
Dakota’s eyes searched mine in the dim light. “Never thought I’d what? Be interested in a man?”
I nodded, unable to speak.
He let out a quiet chuckle. “Well, I reckon there’s a lot you don’t know about me.”
“But I want to know,” I said quickly. “I really do. If you’d give me a chance.”
“Logan,” he sighed, shaking his head. “You’re lost right now. I can see it in your eyes. As much as I’d love to be your life preserver while you’re drowning… I don’t want to be the only reason you get up in the morning. That’s too much pressure.” He turned his head away. “I’m a quiet man and I like my peace. And you… well, you’re a little too much like wildfire right now. It’s pretty to look at and mesmerizing, but eventually it’s gonna burn me and that’s not something I see either of us surviving.”
I felt my chest tighten at his words, a mix of disappointment and understanding washing over me. “I... I get it,” I said softly, trying to keep the hurt out of my voice. “I know I’m a mess. And I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”
Dakota turned back to me, his dark eyes softening. “You didn’t,” he assured me. “And I ain’t saying never. Just... not right now. Not like this.”
We lay there in silence for a moment, the air between us thick with unspoken words and unfulfilled desires. I could feel the warmth of his body next to mine, so close yet impossibly far away.
“So, what do we do now?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
Dakota sighed, running a hand through his long hair. “We sleep,” he said simply. “And tomorrow, we finish this drive. Then... well, I reckon we go back to the way things were.”
I felt a sharp pang in my chest at his words. Go back to the way things were? After everything we’d just shared? It seemed impossible, like trying to shove toothpaste back in the tube.
“I don’t know if I can do that,” I admitted softly. “Pretend like none of this ever happened.”
Dakota was quiet for a long moment, his eyes fixed on the canvas above us. When he finally spoke, his voice was low and rough. “We don’t have to pretend it never happened. But we can’t act on it either. Not now, anyway.”
I nodded, trying to swallow past the lump in my throat. “I understand,” I whispered, even though part of me wanted to argue, to beg him to reconsider.
He turned his head then, meeting my gaze. In the dim light, I could see a softness in his eyes that made my heart do a little flip. I wanted so badly to lean forward and kiss him, to taste those lips of his just once. But that might push him away forever and I didn’t want that.
“Can… Can we at least be friends?” I asked, realizing how pathetic I sounded. “I know my daddy is your boss, but that doesn’t mean we can’t both be a little less lonely out here in all this grass and dust.”
Dakota stared at me for a long moment before he nodded. “Alright. I think I can do that.”
I smiled, unable to hold it back. “Like I said before, just being quiet around each other is fine too. In fact, I like the quiet. After all those years in New York, it’s nice to just sit and hear… nothin’.”
“That’s just fine with me.”
Giving him a nod, I turned back to my side of the tent, our bodies still a few inches apart under the sleeping bag. I tried to force myself to fall asleep, but with so little fabric to share and the cold seeping in through the tent seams, I was shivering. Dakota must have felt me shaking, because the next thing I knew he was scooching close, his arm draped over my waist.
“It’s a cold night,” he said softly, his breath playing over my ear in a way that sent tingles shooting straight down to my cock.
The moment my body reacted, I was far too aware of how much of his skin was touching mine. His bare chest against my back felt like fire and his pelvis snuggled against my ass sent my mind spinning with lusty thoughts. And, if I wasn’t mistaken, it felt like his own cock was reacting to me as well. Maybe it was my imagination, but I thought I felt a twitch or two against my ass as he pulled me close.
“Thanks,” I muttered, relishing in my newfound warmth.
I wished, more than anything, that it would go further. That his hands would touch me the way I craved to be touched by him. But, like the true gentleman he was, he kept still.
“Goodnight,” he whispered in my ear, sending another shiver through my body.
“Night.”