10. Logan
Chapter 10
Logan
T he bell over the door jingled as I stepped into Dolly’s. The moment I did, a familiar voice rang out.
“Well, hey there, sugar!” Dolly called, her signature red acrylics flashing in the sunlight as she waved. “Been a minute since I saw your face in here!”
“Hello Dolly,” I replied, stepping up to the counter. There was a smile on my face, but it was hard nice to smile around her. She had enough vibrance to fill an entire room by herself. “Has Lucas showed up yet? I’m meeting him for lunch.”
“Well, he’s in here darn near every day,” she grinned. “Him and Beau eat here all the time. They really cash in on that free meal for bringing me that prize winnin’ barbecue. Although I’m startin’ to think those free meals are gonna put me out of business with the way they eat.” She gave me a wink. “Do you wanna grab a table or eat up here with little ol’ me?”
“You don’t mind? Even after we tried to steal your pie recipe?”
“That’s all in the past, sugar.” She pointed a single red claw at me. “But you better behave or I’m liable to get a little crazy.”
I nodded. “Yes ma’am.”
I settled onto a stool at the counter, the vinyl seat squeaking beneath me. Dolly bustled around behind the counter, her beehive hairdo bobbing as she moved.
“So, how’s that city slicker treatin’ our Beau?” Dolly asked, her eyes twinkling with mischief. “I swear, I never thought I’d see the day when that shy cowboy of ours would be smitten with a New York fella.”
I chuckled, remembering how unlikely the pairing had seemed at first. “They seem to be doing fine, I guess. I haven’t talked to either of them much lately, but they seem pretty happy.”
“Well, ain’t that somethin’,” Dolly mused, sliding a glass of sweet tea my way. “You know, when Lucas first came to town, I thought he’d high-tail it back to the big city faster than a jackrabbit in a dust storm. But he’s taken to Sagebrush like a duck to water. Who’d have thought?”
I nodded, taking a sip of the sweet tea. The cool liquid was a welcome relief from the Texas heat outside. “It’s certainly been interesting to watch.” I did my best to sound genuine, but I still had some work to do.
Just then, the bell over the door jingled again before Dolly could question it. I turned to see Lucas stroll in, his confident gait and designer jeans still a stark contrast to the worn wooden floors and rustic decor of Dolly’s diner.
“Speak of the devil,” Dolly said with a grin. “Howdy, Lucas! Your usual table’s free if y’all want it.”
Lucas flashed her a charming smile. “Thanks, Dolly. But I think I’ll join my friend here at the counter today, if that’s alright.”
He slid onto the stool next to me, the gold earring in his left ear catching the light. “Hey there,” he greeted me warmly. “Sorry I’m a bit late. Got caught up helping Beau with the...” He glanced down at the floor. “The barbecue.”
I nodded, trying to hide my grin. Even after all this time, it was still strange to see Lucas so at ease in Sagebrush and so happy with Beau. “No worries. I haven’t been here long.”
Dolly bustled over, notepad in hand. “What can I get for you boys today?”
Lucas grinned. “I’ll have the usual, Dolly. Your famous chicken fried steak with extra gravy.”
“Comin’ right up, sugar,” Dolly winked. “And for you?” she asked, turning to me.
“Just a burger, please. Medium.”
As Dolly bustled off to put in our orders, Lucas turned to me with a mischievous glint in his green eyes. “So, how’ve you been? Staying out of trouble?”
I forced a smile, trying to pretend this meeting wasn’t filled with tension. “More or less. How about you? Still adjusting to life on the ranch?”
Lucas ran a hand through his dark hair, a habit he’d picked up since moving to Sagebrush. “It’s... different. But in a good way, you know? Beau’s been teaching me the ropes. Did you know I can actually lasso a calf now?”
I raised an eyebrow, impressed despite myself. “Really? The marketing assistant from New York City can lasso a calf?”
“Well,” Lucas grinned sheepishly, “maybe not consistently. But I’m getting there.” He took a breath, glancing my way. “Logan—” he began.
“No,” I said, holding up a hand to stop him. “Let me start. I’m the one that owes you and apology.”
He stopped, nodded, and let me continue.
“I… I’ve been a shitty friend. And I’ve been even worse to Beau.”
“Yeah, he mentioned that the cattle drive was a little rough between you two.”
“Did he tell you why?”
“No,” Lucas replied, surprising me. “He said it was between you two and he didn’t feel right sharing unless you were okay with it.”
“He… he said that?”
“Sure did.”
“Huh… that’s… unexpected. I figured he’d…”
“Make it all about himself?”
My cheeks flushed and I felt the guilt creep into my chest as I nodded.
“So, you want to tell me what happened between you two?”
“It’s more what didn’t happen,” I sighed. “We grew up together. He’s a couple years older than me, but we knew each other in school. It’s a small town, so everyone did.” I took a moment to gather my thoughts and my courage. “Let’s just say people knew who I was pretty young. There was no doubt about what kind of people I wanted to date, and that meant people were pretty cruel to me. And a lot of the people that made fun of me were Beau’s friends.”
Lucas nodded, knowing full well where I was going.
“And he never stuck up for me. He just stood there and let them terrorize me. And I… well, I figured he was just as bad as them.”
Lucas listened intently, his green eyes softening with understanding. “I see,” he said quietly. “That must have been really tough for you.”
I nodded, swallowing hard. “It was. And I guess... I’ve been holding onto that anger all these years. When you two got together, it just brought all those old feelings back up. I… I never thought I’d have to see him again.”
Lucas reached out and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Logan, I’m so sorry you went through that. No one deserves to be treated that way. You and I… well, we didn’t get a chance to hide who we were, so it feels sort of unfair that other people got to live normal lives while we were made fun of and ridiculed.” He leaned in close, his voice soft. “But I think that’s the illusion. Those people, the ones like Beau, had to live in fear of anyone finding out who they truly were. We had it rough, but I think people like him had it rough too. It’s not fair to any of us.”
I nodded, feeling a mix of emotions swirling inside me. “Yeah… you’re right.” I felt shame well up inside me. “I know it’s not fair to hold it against Beau now, but...”
“But it’s not always easy to let go of the past,” Lucas finished for me.
“Yeah,” I agreed, looking down at my hands in guilt.
Just then, Dolly returned with our food, setting down steaming plates in front of us. The aroma of fried chicken and grilled beef filled the air.
“Here you go, boys,” she said with a wink. “Enjoy!”
As she bustled away, Lucas and I fell into a comfortable silence, both of us digging into our meals. The food at Dolly’s was always good, but today it tasted especially comforting.
After a few bites, Lucas set down his fork and looked at me seriously. “Logan, I want you to know something. Beau... he’s not the same person he was back then. He’s grown a lot.”
I nodded slowly, chewing thoughtfully. “I’m starting to see that.”
“So, is this why you’ve been so distant?” Lucas prodded. “And why you’ve been ignoring my texts?”
My cheeks went warm again. “Yeah. A bit. And other stuff.”
“Other stuff?”
I let out a long sigh. I went into this lunch knowing it was going to be a tough one. But now that I was laying all my worries and emotions out on the table, I was starting to realize how exhausting it was to come clean.
“I’m having a hard time adjusting to living in Sagebrush again,” I said at last. “This is the last place I ever expected to end up again.”
Lucas nodded sympathetically. “I can imagine. It’s a big change, coming back to this small town after being away.”
“It’s not just that,” I said, pushing my half-eaten burger away. “It’s... everything. The memories, the people, the way nothing seems to have changed. And yet, everything has changed.”
Lucas stayed quiet, letting me continue.
“When I left Sagebrush, I thought I was leaving all this behind. The small-town gossip, the judging looks, the feeling of being trapped. But now I’m back, and it’s like I never left. Except now, my best friend is dating the guy I used to resent, and I’m...” I trailed off, not sure how to finish.
“You’re what?” Lucas prompted gently.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “I’m lost, I guess. I don’t have a job, a direction, or any idea of where to go, really. Caroline wants to start her own business, and she’s asked me to help, but it’s not mine, you know? I want something just for me. And then there’s Dakota…”
“Dakota?” Lucas asked, his eyebrows arched. “Your ranch hand?”
“Yeah.”
“What’s wrong with him? Beau seemed to think he was a great help on the drive.”
“He is great,” I nodded. “That’s the problem. The man is practically perfect in every way, and he wants nothing to do with me.”
“Sounds like Mary Poppins to me,” Lucas grinned. “So, you’ve got the hots for him I take it?”
“Yeah. Fat lot of good it’ll do me.”
“Why’s that?”
“He told me I’m too mixed up right now to date.”
“Woof,” Lucas said, flinching at my words. “That’s rough buddy.”
I nodded, pushing the remnants of my burger around on the plate. “Yeah, it’s... it’s been tough. I feel like I’m stuck in limbo, you know? Not sure where I fit in anymore.”
Lucas took a sip of his sweet tea, his green eyes thoughtful. “I get it. When I first came here, I felt like a fish out of water. But you know what? Sometimes being lost is the first step to finding yourself.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “That sounds like something straight out of a self-help book.”
“Hey, don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it,” Lucas grinned, nudging me with his elbow. “Look, Logan, I know things haven’t been easy for you. But you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. And you’ve got people here who care about you.”
I raised an eyebrow skeptically. “Do I though? It feels like everyone has their own lives figured out. You and Beau, Caroline with her business plans. Even Dakota seems to have it all together.”
Lucas leaned in, his voice low and serious. “Logan, listen to me. Nobody has it all figured out. We’re all just doing our best, day by day. And yeah, some of us might look like we’ve got it together, but we’ve all got our struggles.”
I nodded slowly, letting his words sink in. “I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I am,” Lucas winked, lightening the mood. “Now, about this Dakota guy. He said you’re too mixed up to date, huh?”
“Yeah,” I sighed. “And he’s probably right.”
Lucas shook his head. “Or maybe he’s just giving you the space he thinks you need. Or,” he leaned close, his voice darkening. “He’s just scared to give it a try and doesn’t want to admit it.”
“Scared? Of me?” I scoffed. “Right.”
“Think about it. Your dad is his boss. If he dated you and things didn’t go well, what do you think would happen to him? And even if the breakup was amicable, you two would have to see each other nearly every day. That could be awkward.”
“It’s already awkward,” I replied, lowering my voice. “Last night we watched a movie together, and I fell asleep on him.” I leaned in close, my voice barely above a whisper. “When I woke up, his dick was practically resting on my nose.”
Lucas’s eyes lit up. “Oh… that’s fun.”
“It was awkward as fuck is what it was.”
“Did he seem upset by it?”
I thought about it for a moment. “Embarrassed maybe, but not upset I guess.”
“That’s what I figured,” Lucas said, clicking his tongue. “He wants you.”
“I know! But I’m too much of a mess, remember?”
“And his life is perfect?” Lucas shot back. “Because I doubt it.”
“I know it’s not, but he’s a lot more put together than I am.”
“Or he’s just real good at hiding it.”
“I don’t?—”
But my words were cut off as the door to the diner jingled once more. My voice died as I saw Dakota’s tall, handsome figure step through the door, his dark hair catching the noonday sun. Those dark eyes of his made my stomach twist into a tight knot and a shiver run down my spine. When he said he was going into town, I didn’t know he meant the diner.
Behind him was someone I didn’t know though. She was shorter than him, her long dark hair in a single braid down her back. She had a sweater on despite the heat and a warm smile. It was her eyes that surprised me though. They looked just like Dakota’s.
Lucas, to my horror, raised his hand. “Hey Dakota!”
The moment he saw me, his smile faltered and was replaced with a look of fear. It lasted only a second before he covered it up once more, heading our way.
“I know we haven’t met yet,” Lucas said, holding out a hand to shake. “But I’m Lucas. Beau’s boyfriend.”
“Oh right,” he nodded, shaking his hand while avoiding eye contact with me. “He talked about you quite a bit on the trail.”
“He spoke well of you too,” Lucas replied. Then his grip tightened, and he pulled Dakota in. “I also heard you think my friend here is a mess.”
My heart stopped and Dakota immediately began sweating bullets.
Dakota’s eyes widened in panic as he glanced between Lucas and me. “I... uh...” he stammered, clearly caught off guard.
The woman behind him cleared her throat softly. “Kota, aren’t you going to introduce me?”
Dakota seemed to snap out of his daze. “Right, sorry. This is my mom, Diana. She’s visiting for a few days.” He turned to Diana. “This is Logan, the ranch owner’s son, and his friend Lucas.”
Diana smiled warmly. “It’s nice to meet you both. I’ve heard a lot about you, Logan.”
I felt my cheeks flush. “Oh? All good things, I hope.”
Before Diana could respond, Lucas interjected, still holding onto Dakota’s hand. “So, about what you said to Logan...”
Dakota’s face paled. “Look, I didn’t?—”
“Lucas,” I hissed. “Drop it.”
He grinned, a mischievous spark in his eye. “On one condition,” he said, glancing over at Diana. “You let me treat you mom to some real Texas barbecue and you two go out for the night.”
My heart nearly stopped in my chest. Dakota had a similar reaction judging by the way the color drained from his face. However, I did not miss the sudden connection between Lucas and Diana. In an instant I saw their minds connect, fully understanding one another without ever having spoken before. It was kindred spirits if I ever saw it.
“That sounds lovely,” she replied, agreeing to dinner with a total stranger. “I didn’t know Dakota was dating, but I’m glad to hear he’s getting out there and having fun. I’m just here to visit, not to get in the way.”
“Mom, you don’t have to?—”
“Oh hush,” she grinned, giving Lucas a wink. “I’ll be fine. You boys have a good time.”
“Six o’clock sound good, ma’am?” Lucas asked.
“Perfect,” she nodded. Then she looked at me, that familiar mischievous glint in her eye that Lucas always had. “And you can pick up my boy at six fifteen.”
All I could do was nod, knowing from her tone that I had no choice in the matter. Neither of us did.