21. Dakota
Chapter 21
Dakota
M y heart hurt more than I thought possible. Once again, I’d left the main part of the ranch and headed out into the plains. Eventually I found myself at that same quiet spot where I’d talked to my mother. That felt like a lifetime ago now. So much had changed in just a couple of days and now, once Logan accepted the investor’s contract, things would change even more.
And I’d have to find a new place to live.
The thought of leaving Baker Ranch gutted me down to my core. But somehow, the thought of leaving Logan behind hurt me even more. I sank down onto the grass, letting the tall blades brush against my arms. The sun was setting, painting the sky in shades of orange and pink that would normally take my breath away. But tonight, I couldn’t appreciate the beauty. My mind was too full of swirling thoughts and emotions.
A gentle breeze carried the scent of sage, reminding me of all the years I’d spent here. This land was in my blood, as much a part of me as my own heartbeat. How could I leave it behind?
And Logan... God, Logan. I closed my eyes, picturing his easy smile, his kind green eyes. We’d grown so fond of one another in the past few weeks. And now that I’d allowed myself to feel for him, I was more stuck than ever. Before him, I didn’t let anybody in. And now… well… he was everything to me.
I realized, far too late, that I was in love with him. But that didn’t matter now. Not when everything was falling apart.
It was hard to believe that a group of investors could be so callous. How they could want to use me as their token Cherokee to help them sell the place… it was just wrong. And Logan knew that too, but he never stood up to defend me or to tell them that wasn’t an option. He just stood there, letting them say and dream up whatever racist thing they wanted.
I could have stood up for myself. I knew that. But I didn’t want to hurt his chances of saving the ranch. And I guess, in the end, that’s why he stayed quiet too. It really was asking him a lot to give up his family’s legacy just because some clueless big city executive wanted to use me to make herself feel less guilty. But I still couldn’t stop being mad at him for it. It really felt like he chose them over me, and I wasn’t sure I could give my heart to someone like that.
The sun dipped below the horizon, leaving me in the growing twilight. I hugged my knees to my chest, feeling small and alone in the vastness of the Texas prairie. A coyote’s lonely howl echoed in the distance, and I felt a kinship with the wild creature.
I don’t know how long I sat there, lost in my thoughts, before I heard the soft crunch of boots on grass. I didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. My mother’s presence was as familiar to me as my own shadow.
“Thought I might find you out here,” she said softly, his voice tinged with concern. “Though I’m surprised you’re back here so soon.”
I didn’t respond, couldn’t bring myself to look at her. She sighed and settled down beside me, close enough that I could feel the warmth and concern radiating from her. We were both silent for a long time.
“So… I take it the deal didn’t go well today?” she asked tentatively.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “It went great. In fact, I’m sure Logan has already signed the paperwork.”
Mom let out a long breath, her shoulder brushing against mine. “But that’s not what you wanted.”
I shook my head, feeling the sting of tears in my eyes. “No, it’s not. And I feel so selfish for even thinking that way. This deal could save the ranch, save everything Logan’s family has worked for. But the cost...”
“Tell me,” she urged gently.
I took a shaky breath. “They want to use me, Mom. As some kind of... Cherokee mascot. To make their fancy resort seem more ‘authentic.’ And Logan... he just stood there. He didn’t say anything.”
Mom was quiet for a moment, and I could feel the tension radiating off her. When she spoke, her voice was tight with anger. “That’s not right, Kota. Not at all.”
“I know,” I whispered. “And I know Logan knows it too. But he still wants to take the deal. And the worst part is… I can’t blame him.”
Mom’s arm wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me close. I leaned into her, grateful for her strength and warmth.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she murmured. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have to deal with this kind of ignorance and disrespect. I wish I could say it’s not normal, but our people have been dealing with this for a long time.”
I nodded, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. We sat in silence for a while, watching as the last remnants of daylight faded from the sky.
“You know,” Mom said finally, her voice thoughtful, “your grandfather would have had a thing or two to say about this situation.”
I managed a weak chuckle. “I bet he would. He never did mince words.”
“No, he certainly didn’t,” Mom agreed. “He always said that our people have been bending for too long. That it was time to stand tall and proud, to demand the respect we deserve.”
I nodded, feeling a spark of my grandfather’s fire ignite within me. He had always been a force to be reckoned with, never backing down from a fight when it came to protecting our people and our culture. I missed him terribly.
“You’re right,” I said, my voice growing stronger. “Grandpa wouldn’t have stood for this. He would have told those investors exactly where they could shove their stupid ideas.”
Mom chuckled softly. “That he would. But he also would have understood the complexity of the situation. He knew that sometimes, we have to pick our battles carefully and that not everything is so black and white.”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. “I know. And that’s what makes this so hard. I want to fight, Mom. I want to stand up and tell them all to go to hell. But...”
“But you care about Logan,” she finished for me. “And you care about this ranch.”
I nodded, feeling tears prick at my eyes again. “I do. More than I ever thought I would. And that’s what makes this so painful. I feel like I’m being torn in two.”
Mom squeezed my shoulder gently. “Love has a way of complicating things, doesn’t it?”
I let out a watery laugh. “That’s an understatement.”
We sat in companionable silence for a few moments, watching as the first stars began to twinkle in the darkening sky. The night air was cool against my skin, carrying the scent of sage and prairie grass.
Mom shifted beside me, her voice taking on a thoughtful tone. “You know, Kota, sometimes the hardest battles are the ones we fight with ourselves. It’s easy to be angry at Logan, at those investors, at the whole situation. But the real question is, what are you going to do about it?”
I turned to look at her, seeing the wisdom in her eyes. “What do you mean?”
She smiled softly. “I mean, are you going to let this define you? Are you going to let it push you away from the things - and the people - you care about? Or are you going to find a way to stand up for yourself while still holding onto what matters?”
I let her words sink in, feeling a spark of something - determination, maybe - ignite in my chest. “I... I don’t know. I want to fight, but I don’t want to lose everything in the process.”
Mom nodded, a knowing smile playing at the corners of her mouth. “That’s the tricky part, isn’t it? Finding that balance.”
I sighed, plucking absently at the grass beside me. “How do I do that, Mom? How do I stand up for myself without pushing Logan away?”
She was quiet for a moment, her eyes distant as she gazed out over the darkening prairie. When she spoke, her voice was soft but firm. “You talk to him, Kota. You tell him how you feel - all of it. The hurt, the anger, the love. You lay it all out there and give him a chance to understand.” She gave me a long hard look. “I know you, Kota. You haven’t told him you love him, have you?”
I felt a flush creep up my neck at my mom’s words. She knew me too well.
“No,” I admitted softly. “I haven’t told him.”
Mom sighed, shaking her head. “Kota, you can’t expect him to read your mind. I know you’ve always been the quiet, guarded type, but if you want him to understand how deeply this affects you, you need to be honest with him. About everything. Especially your heart.”
I picked at a loose thread on my jeans, avoiding her gaze. “What if... what if telling him doesn’t change anything? What if he still chooses the deal over me?” I paused for a moment. “What… What if someday he decides he doesn’t want me anymore?” I glanced up at her, tears forming in my eyes. “Like dad did.”
Mom’s eyes softened with understanding. She reached out and took my hand, squeezing it gently. “Oh, sweetheart. Your father’s choices were his own. They don’t define you, and they certainly don’t predict your future.”
I swallowed hard, fighting back tears. “But what if-”
“No ‘what ifs’,” Mom interrupted firmly. “Listen to me, Kota. You can’t let fear of what might happen stop you from living your life. Yes, there’s a chance things might not work out with Logan. But there’s also a chance that they will. And you’ll never know if you don’t take that leap. Are you gonna just sit out on this prairie for the rest of your life dreaming because you’re scared? Or are you actually going to live it?”
I sat there for a long moment, letting my mom’s words sink in. She was right, of course. She usually was. I couldn’t let my fear of getting hurt hold me back forever. And I couldn’t expect Logan to understand how I felt if I never told him.
Taking a deep breath, I pushed myself to my feet. “You’re right, Mom. I need to talk to him.”
She smiled up at me, pride shining in her eyes. “That’s my boy. Remember, you’re strong, Kota. You come from a long line of warriors. Whatever happens, you can handle it.”
I helped her up, pulling her into a tight hug. “Thanks, Mom. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Let’s hope you never have to find out,” she chuckled, patting my back. “Now go on. Go find that boy of yours.”
With a deep breath, I nodded and turned towards the ranch house. The walk back seemed both endless and far too short. My mind raced with all the things I wanted to say to Logan, all the fears and hopes that had been building up inside me.
As I approached the house, I saw a figure silhouetted on the porch. But as I got closer, I realized it wasn’t Logan at all. In fact, I was surprised to see it was Caroline, back from Amarillo.
Caroline’s sharp eyes locked onto me as I approached. She was leaning against the porch railing, arms crossed, her usual braid swinging behind her back.
“Well, look what the coyote dragged in,” she drawled, her voice carrying a hint of amusement. “You look like you’ve been chewed up and spit out, Dakota.”
I managed a weak smile as I climbed the porch steps. “Nice to see you too, Caroline. How’s your dad doing?”
“He’s recoverin’,” she nodded. “He’ll be in the hospital for some time yet, but Mama’ll make sure he gets back on his feet in no time. Meanwhile, I popped back to see how the meeting with the investors went.” She gave me a serious amount of side-eye. “Considering how Logan stormed off without even saying hello, I’m assumin’ it didn’t go well.”
“No,” I said. “It went great. They want to invest.”
“That’s great news!”
“But there’s some complications.”
She furrowed her brow. “What do you?—”
“I’m sorry, Caroline. I don’t have time to explain it right now. I need to talk to Logan.” I looked up at her, my eyes pleading. “Do you know where he went?”
“No,” she said, shaking her head. “He took the truck and headed north.”
“Can I borrow your car?”
“Yeah… but what’s going on?”
“I…” I took a deep breath, swallowing hard. “I need to tell him I love him.”
Caroline’s jaw fell open. For a moment she just stared. But then, digging in her pocket, she pulled out her keys and tossed them to me. I caught them, my eyes still fixed on her.
“Well,” she sighed, putting her hands on her hips. “What the hell are you waiting for?”