22. Logan
Chapter 22
Logan
T he diner was quiet, the supper rush long ended. I’d stuffed myself into a booth at the back of the dining room, out of the way of everyone. A cup of coffee that was now cold, sat in front of me as I pressed my forehead to the table.
I only glanced up when the bell over the door rang. A familiar face greeted me with a tentative smile that quickly faded. Lucas headed over, looking as if he were preparing himself for bad news. But the truth was, I needed his help.
“Hey Logan,” he said, taking a seat next to me. “You… Well, you’ve looked better.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled against the table’s surface.
“Judging by your enthusiasm,” he said softly. “I’m guessing the investors passed on the ranch?”
I shook my head. “No. They want to invest.”
Lucas’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Wait, what? That’s great news! So why do you look like someone just ran over your dog?”
I finally lifted my head, meeting Lucas’s concerned gaze. His green eyes searched my face, trying to understand. I ran a hand through my hair, feeling the weight of my predicament settle on my shoulders.
“They want to invest,” I repeated, “but there’s a catch. They want to turn the ranch into some kind of roadside attraction with Dakota as the main event.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means,” I sighed, “that they want Dakota to be center stage of a three-ring circus about Native Americans. You should’ve heard that woman… god it makes my skin crawl just thinking about it. She was so desperate to make herself look like an ally that she just totally steamrolled Dakota and didn’t even notice. When he left in a huff, she still didn’t get it. And I… well, I just stood there and said nothing.”
Lucas leaned back in the booth, his expression a mix of disbelief and disgust. “Jesus, Logan. That’s... that’s pretty messed up.”
I nodded, feeling a wave of shame wash over me. “I know. I should have said something, should have shut it down right there. But I froze. I thought if I said something, we’d lose the ranch. And now...” I trailed off, unable to finish the thought.
“And now Dakota’s probably pissed,” Lucas finished for me. He drummed his fingers on the table, thinking. “Have you talked to him since?”
I shook my head. “No. We fought, and he ran off. I haven’t seen him since.”
Lucas’s eyes softened with understanding. “You’re worried about him.”
“Yeah,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “I am. Of course I am. He’s…”
Dolly appeared, replacing my coffee with a fresh cup with nothing but a nod to Lucas. She sat another in front of him and went back to the counter. She knew we needed some time.
“He’s what, Logan?” Lucas asked once we were alone again.
I swallowed hard, staring into the swirling black depths of my fresh coffee. “He’s... important to me,” I finally admitted, the words feeling both freeing and terrifying as they left my lips. “More than I realized until now.”
Lucas nodded slowly, a knowing look in his eyes. “I had a feeling,” he said softly. “The way you two look at each other when you think no one’s watching... it’s pretty obvious to anyone paying attention. I knew you two were involved, but I guess I didn’t realize how serious it was until recently.”
I felt heat rise to my cheeks. “That obvious, huh?”
“Only to those of us who know you,” Lucas assured me with a gentle smile. “So, what are you going to do now?”
I sighed, running a hand through my hair again. “I don’t know. I need to find him, apologize. Make this right somehow. But I also need to figure out what to do about the investors. I can’t lose the ranch.” I paused, letting out another long sigh. “But I can’t lose Kota either.”
“Kota, huh?” Lucas smiled, nudging me. “You really do have it bad for this guy.”
“I guess I do. I don’t think I really realized it until he stormed off today. But I… well… I think I might love him.”
Lucas’s smile softened, and he reached out to squeeze my shoulder. “That’s big, Logan. Really big. And it explains why you’re so torn up about this.”
I nodded, feeling a lump form in my throat. “I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. And now I’ve gone and messed it all up. Again.”
“Hey, don’t say that,” Lucas said firmly. “You haven’t messed anything up yet. Sure, you made a mistake, but that doesn’t mean it’s over. You just need to talk to him, explain what happened.”
“But what if he won’t listen?” I asked, voicing the fear that had been gnawing at me since Dakota had stormed off. “What if he thinks I chose the money over him?”
Lucas shook his head. “Dakota’s a reasonable guy. He’ll understand if you just give him a chance.”
“And then what?” I asked with a scoff. “I have the perfect guy and we both lose our home. My family’s home. Forever.” I leaned forward, putting my forehead on the cold table again. “God, I’m such a fuck up.”
Lucas was quiet for a moment, his hand still resting on my shoulder. When he spoke again, his voice was gentle but firm. “Logan, look at me.”
I reluctantly lifted my head, meeting his gaze.
“You’re not a fuck up,” he said emphatically. “You’re in a tough situation, and you’re trying to do right by everyone. That’s admirable, not a failure.”
I let out a bitter laugh. “Doesn’t feel very admirable right now.”
“I know,” Lucas nodded. “And we could always try to find another investor. Someone who won’t treat Dakota like a novelty item for their racist bullshit.”
I nodded slowly, considering Lucas’s words. The idea of finding another investor seemed like an empty gesture but was better than the alternative. Although, we only had a handful of days to pull it off or we’d lose everything.
“You’re right,” I said, sitting up straighter. “We can’t let those people anywhere near the ranch. Or Dakota.”
Lucas smiled encouragingly. “That’s the spirit. Now, first things first - you need to find Dakota and talk to him.”
I felt a knot form in my stomach at the thought. “What if he doesn’t want to see me?”
“He will,” Lucas assured me. “Trust me, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He cares about you too, Logan.”
I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “Okay. You’re right. I need to find him.” Pushing myself up from the table, I glanced down at Lucas. “Thanks for your help. For everything.”
Lucas stood up and pulled me into a tight hug. “Anytime, buddy,” he said, patting my back before releasing me. “Now go get your cowboy.”
I nodded, feeling a renewed sense of determination as I headed for the door. The cool night air hit me as I stepped outside, and I paused for a moment, considering where Dakota might have gone. If he was a normal person and had a cell phone, I would’ve just called him. Seeing as he didn’t, wandering around the countryside all night wasn’t going to help me find him any faster. In the end, I decided to head back to the ranch. That’s where his cabin was and where he’d come home to eventually.
The drive back to the ranch felt longer than usual, my mind racing with thoughts of Dakota and what I’d say to him. As I pulled up to the main house, I noticed a faint light coming from the direction of Dakota’s cabin. My heart skipped a beat.
I parked my truck and walked towards the cabin, each step feeling heavier than the last. As I approached, I could hear the soft strumming of a guitar. But I didn’t recall Dakota ever playing guitar. Instead, as I got closer, I realized it was his mom sitting on his small front porch.
“H-Hey Mrs. Parker,” I said tentatively. “Is… uh… Is Dakota here?”
“No,” she said simply, not stopping her soft playing as she looked up at me. “He’s out looking for you.”
I felt a mix of relief and anxiety wash over me. Dakota was looking for me? That had to be a good sign, right?
“Oh,” I said, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. “Do you know where he might have gone?”
Mrs. Parker stopped playing and fixed me with a penetrating gaze. Her dark eyes, so much like Dakota’s, seemed to look right through me.
“He didn’t say,” she replied, her voice neutral. “But I know my son. When he’s troubled, he seeks out high places. Caroline said you have the same inclination.”
“Yeah,” I muttered, remembering all those lonely nights spent on the roof getting drunk. “Wait, Caroline is home?”
“Sure is. She’s up at the house.”
My heart skipped a beat. “Is Daddy okay?”
“He’s just fine. She just came home to get some fresh air and do some laundry for your mama.”
“Oh… okay. Thanks Mrs. Parker.”
I only made it a few steps before her voice caught me once more.
“Logan,” she said in a warning tone. “You aren’t going to hurt my boy, are you?”
I turned back, shaking my head. “No ma’am.”
“Are you going to accept the deal?”
I paused for a long moment before blowing out a long sigh. “No ma’am. I won’t let anyone treat Kota that way. Because…” I took a deep breath. “Because I love him.”
She smiled up at me, her fingers falling away from the guitar strings. “You’re a good man, Logan Baker. Better than most. When he gets home, I’ll tell him where you are.”
I nodded gratefully to Mrs. Parker and headed towards the house, my mind reeling from the conversation. As I approached, I could see the warm glow of lights from inside. The familiar creak of the screen door echoed in the quiet night as I stepped onto the porch.
“Caroline?” I called out softly as I entered.
“In here,” came her reply from the kitchen.
I found her leaning against the counter, a steaming mug of coffee in her hands. Her long dark braid was messy, and there were smudges of dirt on her face and clothes like she’d been out in the barn even after coming home for a break. Then again, she always felt the most at home with the horses, anyway. She looked tired but smiled when she saw me.
“Hey, little brother,” she said, her voice slow and exhausted. “You look like hell.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Thanks. You’re not looking so hot yourself.”
She shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee. Then, without any ceremony, she glanced up at me and asked, “So you and Dakota are in love, huh?”
Her question surprised me and made my heart race. However, I managed to nod because after all, it was the truth. “Yeah,” I said. “And I owe him an apology.”
She nodded. “We’re gonna lose the ranch, aren’t we?”
There was no judgement in her voice, no malice, but it still made my stomach twist into knots.
“I don’t want to lose it, Caroline,” I said quickly. “But I can’t let them treat Kota like that. It’s not right.”
“I know,” she said, putting her cup down. “And I think you’re making the right decision.”
“You… You do?”
“Of course. Dakota is family. Even more so now than before.” She stepped forward, pulling me into a tight hug. “I love this ranch, but it’s not worth sacrificing family for. We’ll get through this even if things are… are never the same.”
“I’m sorry, Caroline,” I muttered, squeezing her back. “I tried.”
“It’s not your fault. Daddy should’ve told us about this a long time ago. Mama didn’t even know. You savin’ this place would’ve been a miracle.” She pulled back, tears in her eyes as she patted me on the shoulder. “But don’t lose that cowboy of yours, alright?”
I nodded. “I’m gonna do everything I can to keep him.” I took a step back. “And Lucas says he’s gonna try to find another investor… but… if I’m being honest… don’t get your hopes up I guess.”
“I know,” she replied. “It was a long shot to begin with. And I’d rather this place get sold off than turned into somethin’ distasteful.” Picking up her cup, she headed for the porch. “I’m gonna just breathe for a while and enjoy this place while I still can.”
The tone in her voice nearly broke my heart. “Me too,” I said. “Can you do me a favor, Caroline?”
“Sure.”
“Can you tell Mama about all this?” I said quietly. “I… I don’t think I have the heart to do it.”
“She knows,” my sister nodded. “I already told her.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know if I felt relieved or horrified. Maybe both. “Well, can I ask you one more favor then?”
She let out a long, sarcastic sigh. “I suppose.”
“When Kota gets back… tell him… tell him I’m in my usual spot and that I’d like to talk to him.”
She smiled softly. “I’ll do that.”
As she stepped out into the night air I turned and headed for the stairs. There was nothing to do now but wait for Dakota to come home.