6. Ellie
6
ELLIE
I was a nervous wreck the whole way to the clubhouse with Gray. I held on to him for dear life since it was the first time I’d ridden, and by the time we got there, I felt like I was frozen in position with my limbs stiff.
“You okay?” Gray asks me.
“Yep, I’m good.” I swing myself off the bike and stand on shaky legs.
Gray wraps his hand around mine. “Shit, I’m sorry, Ellie. I didn’t even think. I should start driving my truck when you’re going to be with me. I wasn’t even thinking.”
He’s always so worried about me and wanting to make me feel comfortable, I feel bad. “No way. I thought it was great for a first time. I just need to get the hang of it, that’s all.”
He looks at me doubtfully, and I squeeze his hand. “Quit worrying, Gray. I’m fine.” I lower my voice and whisper, “The baby is fine too.”
He looks at my belly as if he can actually see the baby in there or something. I get his attention and point toward what I assume is the entrance. “You ready? If you’ve changed your mind...”
He shakes his head and pulls me next to him. “I haven’t changed my mind.”
We walk through the gravel parking lot. “So if you drink tonight, is there an Uber or a taxi I can call?”
He stops and looks at me. “I’m not going to be drinking tonight, and there’s no way I’d leave you in a position to find your own way home. Quit stressing. We’re just going to hang out for a little while. Hopefully some of the wives are here, and you can meet them.”
He waits for me to agree, and when I don’t, he leans down to look me in the face. “Okay?”
I clear my throat, but it still sounds thick with emotion. “Okay.”
Luckily, he doesn’t ask me about it because I don’t want to explain it but right now, after everything, I know I’ve always settled with the wrong men in the past. The men I’d dated before wouldn’t think twice of getting drunk and having me find my own way home. Gray is nothing like that, and I’m finding that the more I get to know Gray, the more I like him.
When Gray pushes the door open, his hand tightens on mine. We walk straight to a man that is wearing a vest that matches the one Gray wears. “Pres, this is Ellie. Ellie, this is the president of the Guardians.”
I’m not sure how you’re supposed to act when you meet the president of a motorcycle club, but I throw my hand up and wave at him a little. “Hey, it’s nice to meet you.”
He nods, and the solemn look of his face turns into a smile. “We’ve heard a lot about you, Ellie.”
He must see the stricken look on my face because he pats the table in front of him. “Gray won’t shut up about you.”
I look at Gray in surprise. “He won’t, huh?”
He shrugs like it’s no big deal.
I meet a few of the other guys, and before I know it, Gray is playing a few of them in a game of pool, and I’m sitting with Tara, Jason’s wife, Allison, who is the president’s wife, and Brandy, Diesel’s wife. There are some other women here, but the girls explain to me that they are not anyone’s ol’ lady; they are the club’s cherries. Some of them are nice, and some of them you want to avoid.
I don’t bother to ask which is which, and before I realize it, time has flown by, and it’s getting late. I make plans to meet up with the others sometime in the next few weeks, and as Gray and I are walking toward the front, I can’t seem to stop the smile on my face. I didn’t have a lot of friends back home, and even though this was my first time here, I already feel like I fit in.
Gray’s arm is hanging loosely around my shoulder. “You seem happy.”
I’m about to tell him I am when a woman stops in front of us. She points at me but is talking to Gray. “You taking the wifey home?”
I recognize her as one of the “cherries” that Tara had pointed out earlier. I look between Gray and the woman, wondering if this is his girlfriend or something, and man it’s so fucked up to even be having these thoughts. I may be his wife, but I have no hold on him.
“Not now, Ashley,” Gray says. He tries to step around her, but instead of allowing him to go by, she puts her hands on his chest.
If I wasn’t pregnant, I would probably put my hands on her, but all I can do is stand here, speechless.
The woman named Ashley continues, “I understand. You need to take her home, but I’ll be here waiting for you when you get back.”
“Forget it, Ashley. I have never and will never fuck with you, so you might as well get over that shit.”
This time, Gray goes the other way and walks off with me still tucked under his arm. He seems mad, and I don’t say anything. I mean, what can I say?
We get to the bike, and wordlessly, I get on behind him and wrap my arms around him. I’m probably holding on to him a little tighter, but it’s okay because I have a reason to. The whole way back to the apartment, my mind is whirling with jealousy. I keep trying to put a different name on it, but when it all comes down to it, it’s jealousy. Plain and simple.
When he parks in front of the apartment, I thank him and make my way to the front door. I’m struggling to find the key when Gray stops next to me. He holds the light from his phone up, and it helps me find the key in the bottom of my purse. I force a smile onto my face. “Thanks, Gray.”
I get the door unlocked and all but bust inside, ready to get myself behind closed doors before I make a fool of myself. “Thanks again,” I say and am about to push the door closed when he puts his hand up to stop it.
“Are you okay?”
“Mmm-hmm,” I answer him. I’m biting back the words I want to say but obviously not hard enough. “I figure you need to get back to Ashley.” And damn, I even stretched out her name and said it in the snarkiest way possible.
Gray’s eyes widen, and then he smiles at me. He knows I’m jealous, and he’s smirking about it. I go to shut the door, and he stops it again. “Do you care if I come in?”
I inhale and let it out slowly. “It’s your apartment, you can do whatever you want.”
The smile drops from his face. “Don’t say that. This is your apartment. If you don’t want me to come in, you just have to say so.”
Damn it. He’s been nothing but nice to me, and I’m acting like a bitch just because some woman was throwing herself at him. I mean, can I blame the girl really?
I open the door all the way and stand back. “Come in, Gray. Please.”
He walks over the threshold, and I shut the door behind him. I take extra care in locking the door and putting my purse on the hook, trying to get my thoughts together. I smile when I turn to look at him. He’s watching my every move and asks, “Did you want to talk to me?”
I shrug. “About what?”
He goes over and sits on the couch, patting the cushion next to him. “Sit down. Let’s talk.”
I walk slowly toward the couch and sit down next to him. The smell of his woodsy, leathery, masculine scent fills my nose. “What do you want to talk about?”
He’s slow to answer as if he’s weighing his words. “Well, I just want to apologize for what Ashley said, and if she made you feel—”
I stop him. I definitely don’t want to talk about how Ashley made me feel. “Look, Gray, you don’t owe me any kind of explanation. We’re married but on paper only. I know that. Whatever you do...”
He turns in his seat and stops when his knee touches me. “I know this isn’t the most typical marriage, but there’s something I should probably let you in on.”
I lift my chin at him, preparing myself for what he’s about to say to me. Is he going to say he doesn’t need to deal with my jealousy? “What is it?”
He covers my hand with his. “I just want you to know that even though you said we’re only married on paper, I take our vows seriously. While we’re married, I won’t be with other women. Hell, I won’t even look at them. I would never betray you, and so whatever you’re thinking may happen with Ashley and me, stop. Nothing is going on there.”
I tilt my head. “Gray, you’ve sacrificed so much... you don’t owe—”
He stops me. “Don’t say it. Don’t say I don’t owe you anything. This isn’t about that. This is about the fact we’re married. You’re my wife, and as long as you’re my wife, you are the only woman I’ll be spending my time with.”
He barely gets the words all out and I’m reaching for him. I lean in and press my lips to his. I meant it to be a simple kiss, but instead of pulling back, I put my hands on his shoulders and deepen it. He doesn’t hesitate and puts his hands on my back, pulling me toward him. The kiss is everything, and it’s not until we eventually pull apart that I realize I’m sitting on his lap and his manhood is hard underneath me.
I’m breathless and panting as I try to remove myself from his lap. “Geez, I’m sorry, Gray. I have no right.”