5. Gray
5
GRAY
It was a week ago that I brought Ellie home to Whiskey Run. I still can’t believe she said yes, but I didn’t give her any time to change her mind. I packed up all her belongings, which was only clothes and toiletries, and I put us on the next plane to Tennessee.
I spent a lot of time on the phone on the trip, which was fine because Ellie slept the whole way. It’s amazing what a group of bikers can get done, but by the time we landed, I had secured an apartment, it was filled with furniture, food, and supplies, and I had scheduled Ellie a doctor’s appointment for the next day. I was even able to get someone to pick up my bike and drop off a car at the airport for us. Everything went so smoothly that I couldn’t help but wonder if all of this, me, Ellie, all of it, was meant to be.
The doctor examined her and deemed her and the baby in good health. He gave her medication for the nausea that is safe for the baby, and already Ellie’s feeling a lot better.
Ellie has settled in at her apartment. I’m still staying at the clubhouse, but I come and see Ellie every day, and every day I have to force myself to leave her. I definitely have an attraction for her, but I know she’s off limits. I have to keep reminding myself that she’s not mine... no matter how much I want her to be.
Before I can even get to the front door, it swings open, and Ellie is smiling at me. In a week, the transformation I see in her is amazing. She seems happy to see me and grabs my hand pulling me inside. I laugh. “What’s going on?”
She sits down on the couch. “I’m going crazy, that’s what.”
I’m not too worried since she’s still smiling at me. “Crazy, huh? Why do you think that?”
“Well, I’m feeling way better, and I can’t just keep sitting around here. I went to the library today and made some resumes and then took them around to a few places. Do you know how hard it is to find a job in a small town?”
I stand up. “Hold on a second. I’ll be right back.”
I run outside to get the pamphlets I picked up earlier today and then jog back toward the apartment. When I let myself in, the smile on Ellie’s face is gone. “Shoot, Gray, I’m sorry. You have to think that I sound so ungrateful. I can’t believe that I’m complaining to you about being bored, especially after everything you’ve done for me.”
I point to the couch because I am already questioning how this conversation is going to go down. “Have a seat.”
She tries to look at the papers in my hands, but I hold them up to my chest with a laugh. “No peeking. Have a seat. There’s something we need to talk about.”
She takes a seat gingerly on the edge of the couch. “All right, I’m listening.”
I sit next to her. “I know how important school is to you. I went by the university in Jasper and got all the information for you to sign up. Now I know that you may not want to travel back and forth for classes, but they offer courses online. They know you’ll need to do student teaching in a few months, and you can do that at the school here in Whiskey Run.”
Her mouth falls open. “Gray, I can’t afford this.”
I shrug. “I’m going to pay for it.”
She shakes her head back and forth in disbelief. “That’s thousands of dollars, Gray.”
I don’t see what the big deal is. “I think it’s a pretty good investment.”
I hold the papers out to her, but she won’t take them. “I can’t let you do this. It’s too much. All of this is too much.”
I shake my head and lay the papers on the coffee table in front of us. “It’s not, though.”
She jumps up from the couch and starts to pace. “It is, though. I don’t understand, Gray. Do you feel guilty or something? You shouldn’t. What happened to Dawson was not your fault. You don’t owe him, me, or this baby anything.”
I stand up and walk over to her. The smile she had on her face when I first got here is long gone, and I want it back. “Is that what you think? You think I’m doing this because I feel guilty... or because I owe it to Dawson?”
She shrugs. “Is it?”
I shake my head side to side but don’t put voice to the reasoning.
“Why then?” she asks. “Why are you doing this for me? Is it because of the baby?”
She’s searching my face for answers, but I don’t have any. Even I can’t completely explain why I’m doing this, but I know I need to try. “In the beginning, when I asked you to marry me, it was because I owed it to Dawson to take care of you and his baby.”
She laughs. “Gray, you do know that HE wasn’t going to marry me, right? I don’t think it even crossed his mind.”
I ignore what she just said and continue. “Like I said, that was in the beginning. But now, well, I don’t know what to say, Ellie; all I can do is be honest with you. When I was here for two months, I thought about you all the time. When I saw you in that shitty apartment, I knew I couldn’t leave you there. It should have freaked me out that I asked you to come and live here in Whiskey Run, but it didn’t. As a matter of fact, when I asked you, I knew it was what I wanted. I want you and this baby to be here with me.”
She’s quiet, and it makes me wonder if I’ve said too much. The last thing I want to do is pressure her or run her off. “Does that freak you out? I’m not asking you for anything in return, Ellie. I want to do this for you.”
Her gaze softens, and she shakes her head. “No, that doesn’t freak me out.”
I nod and point to the coffee table where the discarded papers are. “So you’ll go?”
She nods. “I’ll look into it, but eventually, I’m going to have to pay you back. I can’t live here and have you foot all the bills.”
I shake my head. “I’m not worried about it. I want you to finish your degree. That is going to take up all your time until the baby comes.”
She wants to argue with me, but I interrupt her. “Okay, so now I have another idea to cure your boredom.”
She seems a little overwhelmed when she asks, “What’s that?”
“There is a party at the clubhouse tonight. Would you be interested in going with me? I’d like to introduce you to the guys.”
She fidgets her hands in her lap. “What do they know about me, Gray?”
I shrug. “Well, most of them know I’m married, but they don’t know the details behind it or anything. I mean, we can go as friends, but I mean, I would think I’d just introduce you as my wife.”
She stares at me, and I shake my head. “I mean, I can introduce you however—”
She cuts me off. “Wife is fine. That’s what I am, so we might as well stick with the truth.”
I put my hands in the front pocket of my jeans to stop myself from reaching for her. “Sounds good to me.”