Chapter 46
Cassie
R unning through the front doors of the hospital, I look both ways for a familiar face, but I don’t recognize anyone in the waiting room, so I hurry across to the reception desk.
A woman with tightly curled hair looks up when I approach. “May I help you?”
“Yes, I’m here to see Quinn Tanner. He was brought in earlier by ambulance.”
“And your name is?”
“Cassie Brooks.”
The woman nods instantly. “Mr. Devlin said you would be coming in shortly. Mr. Tanner is on the third floor, room three-oh-eight. The elevators are just over there.”
She points to a corridor off the waiting room, and I thank her politely as I make my way in that direction .
The elevator ride to the third floor goes smoothly, and as the doors slide open, I step out and literally run straight into a solid wall of muscle.
Or, Reed’s chest.
“Oh, there you are,” he says. “Sorry, I was just coming down to wait for you.” He gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Come on, he’s down this way.”
He starts walking, and I follow him. “How is he?”
“He’s always a bit groggy after a seizure, but he’s doing better now.”
“What do you mean by always ? Does he have a lot of seizures?” I ask as we stride past the nurse’s station.
Both nurses on duty stare at Reed, but he barely even acknowledges their existence.
“No, not anymore. They were more frequent when he was younger. In his teenage years, the doctors kept playing around with different dosages and different drugs.” He runs his hands back through his hair, and we turn the corner into another long corridor. “I guess it doesn’t help when your body weight changes every couple of months, and you grow an extra inch every time you set foot in the doctor’s office.”
“How did it start?”
Reed puts his arm around my shoulder, motioning for me to turn yet another corner. “Some kinds of epilepsy are hereditary, but the doctors think Quinn’s diagnosis was brought on after he took a pretty hard hit to the head. He told me that he spoke to you about the day of the shooting at my mom’s convenience store.”
“He did.”
“It was a pretty traumatic event, which in itself is another trigger for epilepsy. ”
I blink up at him, feeling dizzy and wait for him to continue.
“He’s been doing awesome for years now; he even got the green light to drive again. That’s how long it’s been since he’s had a seizure. But the things the neurologist told him to avoid are stress, excessive alcohol, and not getting enough sleep. Those are his main triggers, and I don’t have to tell you that he hasn’t been doing great in any of those departments lately.”
Guilt smothers me. I press my lips together, overwhelmed with all the horrible things I said to him, and all the stress he’s been under recently.
My feet come to an abrupt halt on the linoleum. “Will he have to miss out going on tour?”
“No, don’t panic. He should be discharged in a few hours. He’s good to go on the flight, and he’ll be fine to go on the tour. Nick already cleared it with the doctor.”
“Nick’s here?”
“Of course, he rushed here the second I called him.” Reed’s eyes soften when he looks down at me. “Everything’s going to be fine. Why don’t you see for yourself? This is Quinn’s room.” He nods to the left, and I see the number 308 stamped on the door. “There’s a bit of a crowd in there with him, but I’ll tell them all to fuck off if that’s what you want?”
A crowd?
Reed opens the door first, and I follow him into the room slowly, not sure what I’m going to find. But what I find is a room full of people who care about Quinn, some I know personally, some I sort of recognize, and some I’ve never met before .
Jaxon is sitting on the floor with his back pressed against the wall. He’s wearing a gray knit beanie on his head, and he gives me a two-finger salute when he sees me glance in his direction.
Nick is sitting in a chair in the opposite corner, typing something into his phone. He glances up briefly when he hears the door open, and for a moment he just looks at me. But then slowly a small smile lifts his cheeks, he winks at me, and then he goes back to doing whatever it was he was doing on his phone before I entered the room.
He’s most likely still adjusting.
Brinley is sitting on the end of the hospital bed, her feet swinging back and forth, and she beams when she notices me. “Oh, hey, I’m glad you made it alright. I was starting to worry.”
She rushes over to me and gives me a huge hug, almost knocking me over. “I came as quickly as I could, but the subway was packed.”
At the sound of my voice, every other set of eyes in the room swing my way.
Kael’s huge body is situated in a chair on the far side of the hospital bed. There’s a beautiful blonde woman with pretty blue eyes sitting beside him. She’s holding his hand, their fingers linked together, and the toe of her high heel is tucked around the back of Kael’s calf muscle. It all looks very couple-ish, and I wonder briefly when that happened, because as far as I was aware, Kael has been in rehab for the past few months.
Interesting.
“This is Jonesy,” says Kael, looking at the woman with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes .
Huh? I wonder where he met her.
She kinda looks familiar, though I can’t quite place her.
“Sienna,” she corrects with a smile that’s so stunning it could seriously stop traffic. “It’s lovely to meet you, though we’ve actually met before. You’re a waitress at Leon’s, right? We met a few weeks ago when Kael took out his frustration on a number of Leon’s best glasses.”
Oh, yes. Of course that’s who she is. She came into the bar looking for Kael a few weeks back. He was in a bad place, heartbroken over some girl. He sang a song for her. Willie Nelson, if I remember correctly. Sienna was the girl. Good for them.
“This is my brother, Bailey,” says Sienna, holding her hand out to the teenage boy standing behind her. He looks to be about fifteen or so. He’s fidgeting nervously like he’d rather be anywhere else right now. “Say hello to Cassie, Bailey.”
“Hello, Cassie,” the boy says stiffly.
His voice sounds a little off, robotic almost, but I don’t have time to pinpoint why exactly because when I step closer, that’s the moment my eyes land on Quinn, and everything else around me simply vanishes.
I’m not prepared for how tired Quinn looks, or how the pale-blue hospital gown he’s wearing makes him look so much smaller than he truly is.
It’s hanging off one shoulder, revealing some of his tattoos. He’s half sitting up in the bed, his back propped up against a pile of pillows, and his hair is clinging to his forehead. The underside of his beard has been shaved off where they’ve stitched up his chin, and he has an IV attached to a vein in the back of his hand .
“Cassie,” he says softly.
I rush to the side of the bed, tears already falling down my face. “Reed told me what happened. Are you alright?”
“I’m fine.” He glances at Reed, and then his eyes meet mine once more. “I guess I should have told you about my condition myself. It seems to be a bit of a pattern, huh? Add it to the list.”
“Quinn, you need to get some rest,” I tell him. “Let’s not talk just yet. Once you’re feeling better, we can sort things out. Do your stitches hurt?”
“I’m okay,” he says.
“What happened to your eye? Oh, gosh it looks so sore.”
Quinn shakes his head. “No, I had a fight with the coffee table. Turns out, I lost.”
I don’t know what he’s talking about, but the way his eyes are locked onto mine with so much sincerity it causes my walls to crumble. The floodgates burst, and everything that’s been dammed up inside me over the last few days, weeks, months…it all comes bursting out in a rush of hot tears.
“Don’t cry, baby. Kills me to see you cry.”
He grabs my hand, holding it in his hand against his chest. He doesn’t let go. He holds my hand so tightly it feels like he’s clinging to me, and I let him cling to me because I’m tired of feeling like this. I don’t want to wait anymore.
I can feel Quinn’s heart pounding into the palm of my hand, a direct line to my heart, which feels like its suddenly grown wings.
“I’m so sorry I hurt you,” he whispers.
I brush my fingers over his forehead, pushing his soft curls off his face. “We don’t have to talk about any of that right now.”
Kael clears his throat, nodding toward the door. “We might…uh, we might get out of here, yeah?”
“No, you don’t need to leave,” insists Quinn, shaking his head. “Stay, please. I want you all to hear this. You guys are all like family to me, and I want you to hear this.”
“Are you sure?” asks Reed.
“I’m sure.”
Nick suddenly stands from his seat in the corner of the room, walking over to the end of the bed. He takes a deep breath, shoving his phone into his back pocket. “That thing we were discussing before,” he says to Quinn with a small nod. “You’re good to go.”
“Thanks, man.”
Quinn turns back to look at me. “I was scared to tell you about the letter, Cassie, because the thought of you hating me, the thought of living without you, that terrifies me. I wanted to stay away until you were ready to talk to me, but…but, fuck, Cassie, staying away from you is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
“It’s been hard for me, too.”
“I screwed up. I know I did, but you have to forgive me. You have to forgive me because I refuse to do any of this without you by my side. I know it isn’t going to be easy, we’ve both got a lot of baggage, and it’s going to take time to sort through the chaos I created, but I’m in this wholeheartedly, and I want you in it with me.”
I can tell his words are some of the hardest words he’s ever had to say. I want to tell him he doesn’t have to say any more. I want to tell him to stop talking. I want to tell him to keep his words inside him for later until we’re in private.
I don’t even know if he’s finished talking, but right now I just need to hold him.
I lean across, pressing my lips softly to his lips, wrapping my arms around him until he’s leaning all the way back on the pillow.
I’ve missed him so much.
“Cassie,” he says softly against my neck. “I’m not finished.”
“Oh, sorry.”
I can feel his smile before I see it on his face. I lean back and look into his eyes, waiting for him to continue.
“I never meant to hurt you, Cass. I never meant for you to feel even more alone in this world than you did before. I fucked everything up, but you have to know how much I love you. I love you so damn much. Nothing makes sense without you. Forgive me, please forgive me.”
He releases a shaky breath.
The desolate look on his face and the quiver of his bottom lip have every part of me turning to liquid.
I melt against him.
“Wait, there’s more…” Quinn pulls me back slightly by the shoulder, looking deep into my eyes.
“Quinn, seriously, let me kiss you already.”
“Oh, you will, I promise, but first, I need to tell you one more thing.”
“What is it?”
“As you know, we’re leaving for Europe next week. We’ll be gone for three months on this tour. Brinley and Sienna and Bailey are all coming on tour with us. ”
I’m scared to move. “Okay?”
“Nick’s just been on the phone with Empress Records sorting out some details, and they’ve decided that you can come along as well, if I can get you to agree. They’ve assigned extra security, as well as an OB-GYN to our detail, that way we can keep up with all your doctor’s appointments while we’re away. The baby isn’t due for a few months after we get back, but if you come with me, then you’ll have around the clock care if you need it, and I can make sure you’re looked after.”
“Quinn, I—”
“You’re finished with school now; you’ll graduate when we get back. If you still want to get into marketing, then I’ll help you send off resumes, and I’ll stay at home and look after the baby. Or we’ll hire a Nanny, whatever you want.”
“Wait, wait.” I hold up my hands. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “You’re saying you want me to go on tour with you, to Europe for three months?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Because that’s where I’ll be. And I want you with me every second of the day. I want you right beside me, and I don’t want to miss out on a second of this…” His hand skims over my stomach, making everything down low tense up in the most delicious ways possible. “I couldn’t handle being away, and knowing you were dealing with everything on your own.”
“Did you get the text message I sent you?”
Looking around, disoriented, he searches for his phone, but who knows where his phone ended up in all the craziness, so I grab my phone out of my handbag, pulling up the screen which I turn around so he can read it.
Quinn sucks back a sharp breath. “You really felt the baby move?”
“Yeah, it was a weird sensation, but it was beautiful.”
He takes my hand again. “You have to come with me, Cass,” he says, voice firmer. “I love you, and I want you and the baby with me. I’m in this for the long haul. It’s the three of us from now on, Alabama. We’re a family, and I want my family with me every step of the way. Say you’ll come?”
“I’ll come,” I whisper.
That’s all he needs to hear from me.
Before I can blink, Quinn reaches up to wrap his hand around the back of my neck, and then he pulls me to his mouth, and he kisses me like he never wants to stop kissing me.
He kisses me stupid in front of everyone, and I kiss him back with just as much hunger and just as much passion because I don’t care who knows it anymore.
I’m his. And he’s mine.
And this baby is ours.
And it’s the most wonderful part of both of us.