15. Felix
FELIX
I make my way down one of the many paths that weave their way through campus, not really paying all that much attention to my surroundings. Almost twelve hours have passed since I woke up in Killian’s bed, and I’ve been avoiding him since I finished my shower.
I should never have taken those pills last night. Ambien dreams are the reason I always take something with them, like Ativan or another tranquilizer. But as far as I know, I’ve never had a dream like that on them.
The last few times I took them without the extra buffer, I ended up doing silly things like texting the dorm rules to my roommate and rearranging my books.
One time I wrote a paper that was really good but had nothing to do with the class I wrote it for, and once I put on a bunch of shirts and almost every pair of underwear I owned, took a few selfies of my look, then undressed and went back to sleep.
Climbing into Killian’s bed because I thought he was my childhood teddy bear would never have been on my radar, not in a million years. Same with cuddling him naked or trying to rub off on him mid-dream.
I’ve been walking around for hours at this point, not going anywhere in particular and just keeping my body busy so I can focus on something other than the crush of thoughts in my head, but it hasn’t helped.
I’ve analyzed every second of what happened between Killian and me in our room earlier, and I still have no clue why I enjoyed it so much, or why he even did it.
The first time makes sense. I knew what kind of mood he was in and kept needling him because it was fun. I pushed him knowing there would be consequences, and I didn’t stop him when he showed me exactly what those consequences were.
But this morning was different. There was no fighting, no charged emotions, and I wasn’t the one needling him this time. He was fucking with me. But why?
Was he trying to humiliate me? It feels like it started that way, but his hard dick and the dark look in his eyes said he was into it, at least at the end.
But with Killian, I have no idea if he was into it because he thought it was hot or he was getting off on taking me apart piece by little piece until I was left completely spent and covered in both of our cum.
If there’s one thing the Hawthorne men love, it’s power, and Killian is no exception.
They don’t just crave it; they get off on it, so everything that’s happened between us can be explained away by Killian being on a power trip and getting off on the humiliation and power, and not because of anything that has to do with me.
I stop walking and lean against a nearby tree.
The facts are straightforward. I went into his bed and forced him to cuddle with me all night because I thought he was my childhood safety blanket.
And if he’s telling the truth, I woke him up and tried to rub off on him, all while on pills, so I have no memory of doing any of it.
All of that explains why he wanted to fuck with me, but it doesn’t explain why it was different. He didn’t get me off like last time. He watched me get myself off, then he came all over my ass like he was claiming it.
I shake my head.
Of course he wasn’t claiming me. He was just rubbing it in that he won, literally, in this case. None of it would have happened if I hadn’t taken those damn pills. It was nothing more than payback.
That’s it, that’s all. And no amount of thinking in circles and trying to find deeper meanings will change that.
“Awwww, is little Fefe all by himself?” a familiar voice says behind me.
“What else is new,” someone else says, then lets out a tittering giggle that grates on my already frayed nerves.
Slowly, I turn and find Natalie and her squad crowded behind me.
I give her and her clones a once-over, making sure to keep my expression bored and uninterested.
They’re all carbon copies of each other, from their unnaturally glossy hair to their overdone makeup and sky-high heels.
And based on their coordinating outfits, they’re on their way to a party or event of some sort.
“What are you looking at?” Hailey, one of the clones, demands, giving me the same look one would give a sack of dog shit they found in their closet.
I drag my gaze over them one more time, then give a little shrug. “Absolutely nothing at all.”
They look so offended I want to laugh. Only Natalie and her squad would be pissed that I’m not fawning or drooling over them when all they do is belittle and insult me.
It’s no secret that most of the girls, and quite a few guys, on campus use their private jets like Ubers and take weekly trips to New York or LA or wherever else they go to get their facials and fillers and everything else it takes to maintain that not quite real but expensive enough to pass as real look they all have.
All that vanity isn’t just expensive; it’s also the easiest way to piss them off and get under their skin. And I exploit it every chance I get.
“Are you going to a come as you are party?” I ask, keeping my tone light and conversational. “You know most people still put at least a little effort into their look when they go to those, right? No one actually just shows up exactly how they are when they get the invite.”
All four girls glare at me. I know for a fact that they spent hours getting ready, and even the slightest criticism will ruin her night, even if it’s coming from me.
“You’d better be careful talking to me like that,” Natalie says, giving me a nasty sneer that twists her features up and makes her look as ugly on the outside as she is on the inside. “You want me to tell Killian you’re disrespecting me? How do you think that’s going to go down?”
I bite the inside of my cheek so I don’t smile. My stepbrother has already washed his hands of her now that he knows she’s fucking around on him. She’s going to be in for a world of surprise when he finally breaks up with her and she can’t use him to get her way anymore.
I can’t fucking wait.
“What do you want?” I ask.
“I want to know what you’ve been saying to him.”
“Saying to who?” I look between her and her clones.
“Killian,” she practically spits out.
“Killian?”
“Don’t play dumb with me.” She pokes me in the chest, her long, talon-shaped nail digging into me through my sweater.
“He doesn’t have to play dumb,” Jacklyn, another of the clones, says with a giggle. “That’s his default.”
The rest of the girls giggle like they just heard the funniest pun ever.
I turn to walk away. I’m not in the mood to deal with any of this bullshit right now, and it’s best if I leave before my already tenuous grip on my control snaps and I lose my shit on them.
“Hey.” Something solid connects with the back of my head, hard enough to snap my neck forward but not hard enough to daze me at all.
Pure, unadulterated rage flows through me, and my vision goes a little hazy around the edges as my entire body tenses.
“Don’t you dare walk away from me,” Natalie snaps. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”
Slowly, I turn around and face them. “Don’t touch me.”
Natalie laughs and pokes me in the chest again. “Or what? What are you going to do?”
“Keep testing me and find out,” I warn in a low voice.
“Like I’m afraid of you,” she scoffs.
“Back the fuck off, now .”
She takes a half step closer to me. “And what.” Poke. “Are you.” Poke. “Going to.” Poke. “Do about— Hey !” she shrieks when I grab her wrist to stop her. “Let go, you freak. Help!” She screeches. “Help!”
I let go of her. Not because she’s screaming like a banshee, but because it’s taking everything in me to not twist her damn arm until I break every bone in it so she thinks twice about putting her hands on me again.
“You’re so dead,” she hisses, holding her wrist to her chest. “Killian is going to kill you for touching me.”
This time I don’t hold in my laugh. “Keep thinking that.”
“I don’t know who you think you are?—”
“Shut the fuck up,” I interrupt. “I know you think you’re special because Killian buys you shit and lets you run around and use his name to get your way, but you’re nothing more than a pocket pussy to him.
” I pull myself up to my full height, letting her see exactly what I think of her and not hiding my expressions like usual.
“You’re not special, and you’ll never be special.
It doesn’t matter how much work you get done, how many guys you spread your legs for, or how many designer bags you collect.
You’re never going to be more than exactly what you are now. And you know what that is?”
She’s gaping at me now, her eyes wide and her mouth opening and closing like a stunned fish.
“Nothing. Absolutely nothing.” I give her a little smirk-smile. “Now get the fuck away from me before you find out what happens when you really piss me off.”
I’m half expecting another hit to the back of the head or a shove as I turn and walk down the path in the opposite direction. Thankfully Natalie and her clones are either too stunned to do anything, or they’re too scared.
I hope to fuck it’s the latter.
Still shaking with leftover adrenaline and anger from my encounter, I cut to the left and jog down a narrow path that leads to a cluster of outbuildings near the wooded part of campus.
Not many students venture out this way if there isn’t some sort of event going on.
I won’t have to worry about any more run-ins here.
I’m just coming up on one of the main roads that connects the area to the rest of the campus when my phone rings.
Instinctively, I stop walking just as I reach the curb and pull my phone out of my pocket. Not only is that not the ringtone I use, but I know for a fact I put it on silent earlier. What the hell?
The screech of tires and the glare of high beams pull my attention from my phone. A car whizzes past me, going so fast I’m hit with a blast of air as it disappears down the road.
It takes a second for my brain to catch up with what just happened, and I slowly look back down at my phone. Instead of a phone number or a name, a line of zeros fills the screen.
The ringing stops, and a text appears in place of the numbers.
He’s still out there .
I blink at the phone as the message fades and another one pops up.
Be careful.
The message disappears, and my screen goes dark.
What the fuck?
I turn the screen back on and check my call logs. The call isn’t there. There’s no record of it. I close out of my calls and check my texts. Nothing. And I was right, the phone is still on silent.
Confused, I look at the road, then back at my phone.
I know it rang, and I know those messages were there. I might be having a bit of an existential crisis when it comes to my newfound love of letting my stepbrother boss me around and humiliate me, but I’m not crazy.
I know what I saw, but who the hell did it? And why are they trying to help me?
That car was waiting for me to cross, and the only reason they missed was because I stopped to check that call. They warned me that I’m still in danger, but why?
Only a hacker could have bypassed the security on the phone, but was it the same one who doctored the security cams?
Killian hasn’t told me much about what they’ve found, or if they’re even still looking into what happened in the pool, but he did say that the person who attacked me probably hired the hacker to cover their tracks, and they otherwise aren’t a part of things.
Is this their way of atoning for participating in a murder plot? It would have been nice if they grew their conscience before they helped someone try to kill me instead of after, but I guess beggars can’t be choosers.
As much as I don’t want to go back to my room and face the reality that I’m going to have to go to bed at some point, I slip my phone away and jog back down the path.
Whoever tried to run me over is still out there, and I’m not about to make things easy on them by sticking around.