18. Daniel
Chapter eighteen
Daniel
All The Things She Said
M y body feels frozen in shock. I can't seem to move, my mind consumed by the weight of what I just learned.
A baby.
My baby...
I can't tear my eyes away from the ultrasound. It's like a punch to the gut.
Finally, I force myself to look away and gather all the pamphlets scattered around me. With trembling hands, I rush out to my car and speed towards Ryan's house.
The ultrasound sits on top of everything else in my car, a constant reminder of what's at stake. Becca is pregnant with my child - a life that I didn't even know existed until now.
As soon as I pull into Ryan's driveway, I send a quick message to our group chat, urging everyone to come over immediately. Time is of the essence.
Without giving myself time to think or process, I barge right into Ryan's house. He looks up at me in surprise. "Hey man, what's going on?"
I can hardly form words as I pace back and forth, my thoughts racing a million miles per hour. The ultrasound feels like it's burning a hole in my pocket - a physical manifestation of the overwhelming emotions coursing through me.
"I...I..." That's all I manage to say before X, Kaid, and Iz burst into the room, their eyes wide with concern.
Kaid quickly guides me over to the couch and sits me down gently. "Take deep breaths, man. What's happening?"
With shaky hands, I pull out the ultrasound photo and slam it down on the coffee table for everyone to see. "Becca is pregnant," I finally manage to say aloud, the weight of those words hitting me like a ton of bricks.
A thick, uneasy silence blankets the room. Kaiden finally breaks it, his voice shaky and disbelieving.
"Shit, dude."
X nods in agreement, his brow furrowed in concern. "That's... what are you guys gonna do?"
I feel a lump form in my throat as I try to hold back the tears. "Becca said uh, Becca said she's not keeping it. So..."
Kaiden sinks back into the couch cushions, his face contorted with worry. "Okay. How do you feel?"
Iz huffs, running a hand through his dark hair which falls in front of his face. "Doesn't matter what he thinks."
I angrily turn towards him. "Yo, what the fuck?"
He shrugs nonchalantly. "It's Becca's body. If she doesn't want to carry your bastard child, she doesn't have to."
"What if I wanted to keep the baby?"
He laughs cruelly. "You? Nah, good try though. Don't try to fool yourself. You hate Becca. Not to mention, you're with Ashley."
Feeling exposed and vulnerable, I sheepishly shake my head. "I... no we're not. I only did that shit in school to-"
Iz interrupts me before I can finish my sentence. "To piss Becca off."
My thoughts spin and I whisper to myself in disbelief. "Fuck..."
I look over at Ryan, who has remained silent throughout the conversation. His eyes are filled with worry and he shrugs helplessly when I look at him for support.
"I... uh, got nothing." He looks down at his phone, and I turn away from him dejectedly.
Kaiden lets out a heavy sigh, breaking the tension once again. "Ryan, we'll deal with your Ally situation in a minute." He turns back to me, his expression serious. "Let Becca be. She made the choice."
X nods in agreement. "And besides, do you really want to have a baby right now? What about your plans for college in Cali? You're gonna give it all up for a baby with someone you claim to hate?"
I sadly look up at them, my heart heavy with conflicting emotions. "I... yeah. I would."
Iz's lips curl into a knowing smile. "So, are you finally going to admit that you have feelings for Becca?"
I feel like I've been punched in the stomach and struggle to find the words to respond. "This... I... I gotta talk to Becca." With a defeated sigh, I stand up and grab my keys, heading towards the door with a heavy heart and a million thoughts running through my mind.
A s soon as I walk through the door, I dart up the stairs to check on Becca. But her room is empty, her bed neatly made.
She’s gotta be at the truck stop. I turn on my heel and start to head down the stairs.
But before I can even reach the bottom step, I hear my mom's piercing scream from the kitchen. Without hesitation, I sprint towards the sound and burst into the room. My mom is in my dad's arms, her body convulsing with sobs.
I approach them slowly, afraid of what I might find out. "Mom?" Her eyes are red and swollen with tears, her voice barely a whisper. "Mom, what happened?"
She shakes her head, unable to form coherent words as she clings to my dad for support. My heart starts racing as I remember the last time she was this distraught - when she got the call about Daisy…
"She… Becca," my mom chokes out between sobs. And just like that, my world shatters into a million pieces.
My dad holds onto her tightly as I pick up her phone from where it lay on the ground. With trembling fingers, I bring it to my ear.
"Hello?" I say hesitantly.
There is a pause before the other person responds in a calm but somber tone. "Hi. I need to speak with Louise Rorke."
"That's my mom," I reply, my heart starting to race. "She's uh... she's not able to talk."
The voice on the other end sighs. "She was listed as an emergency contact for a Miss Rebecca Carney. Is your mother able to come down to the hospital? Rebecca was in a motor vehicle accident."
My heart drops.
Becca.
Our baby.
"Yes, yes, of course," I stammer, hastily hanging up the phone. Turning to my parents, I feel tears prick at my eyes. "We have to go to the hospital. Becca needs us... well, you, Mom."
We pile into the car and speed down the road, my mind racing with fear and hope.
Once we arrive at the hospital and check in, a doctor emerges from the waiting room and approaches us with a solemn expression.
Without saying a word, he shakes his head and my heart sinks even further. This can't be good news.
"Rebecca-" he begins.
But my mom interrupts him with a sad smile. "Just Becca," she says softly, her maternal instinct kicking in even through her own grief. "She doesn't like her full name."
A bittersweet smile tugs at my lips as the doctor continues speaking.
"Becca... well, it's a miracle that she's breathing right now," he says gravely. "To be blunt, we don't think she will make it. She has sustained major injuries to her head and we are extremely concerned about her condition. Until she wakes up, we won't know the extent of the damage."
My mom sobs uncontrollably, her heart breaking at the thought of losing another child. "I'm so tired of my babies being taken away from me," she cries out in anguish. "It's not fair. I loved her like my own."
I clear my throat; the sound echoing in the sterile hospital room. My parents turn to look at me, their eyes intense and full of unspoken emotions. The doctor stands before us, his face grave as he delivers news that will shatter our worlds.
“And the baby?”
"I'm very sorry, young man," he says, his voice strained with sorrow. "With such a horrific accident, there is little chance for a fetus to survive."
My heart feels like it's been ripped from my chest. I can hear the shattered pieces crumbling on the cold linoleum floor. I slump into a chair, feeling numb and helpless.
My mom turns to look at me through her tears. "A baby?"
I nod, unable to find any words to convey the devastation inside me. Memories of my sister Daisy's death flood my mind, and I feel myself shutting down emotionally, as I have so many times before.
"Yeah," I manage to choke out. "We just found out. I know we were irresponsible."
My dad places a comforting hand on my shoulder. "That's neither here nor there right now. That's still a loss you weren't prepared to deal with."
"Becca wasn't going to keep it," I blurt out, feeling the need to explain, even though it's too late.
Without another word, I stand up and stumble outside, seeking fresh air and space to process this new tragedy. I text my friends asking them to come, needing their support more than ever.
A few minutes later, they arrive - Cat, Penny, Ally and Del - their somber expressions mirroring mine.
We all head back inside, a heavy silence hanging over us as we wait for any updates. Ally sniffles quietly beside me, and Ryan wraps an arm around her shoulders reassuringly.
Suddenly, my dad pushes himself up from his chair with force, causing us all to jump in surprise. He looks ready to explode with anger, and I've never seen him like this before.
Becca's dad barges into the waiting room, his face twisted with worry. "I just heard what happened. Where's my daughter?"
My dad's gaze turns icy as he glares at Becca's father. "She's not awake. And do you know who they called? Not you. My wife!"
I stand up and position myself next to my dad, feeling a fierce protectiveness towards Becca at this moment.
"Your daughter put us through hell because her own goddamn parents couldn't be bothered to be there for her! We are the ones who got that phone call! Our hearts are the one breaking!" My dad's voice is low and seething with anger. "You don't deserve to be here!"
Just then, the doctor enters the room, clearing his throat to get our attention. "I will call security," he says sternly, looking directly at Becca's father. "Mr. Carney, your daughter, was hit head on by another vehicle. The impact was severe and we are still unsure if she will wake up. Even if she does, there may be serious damage to her brain. You may need to make some tough decisions in the coming days. Would you like to see her?"
He nods, his anxious eyes flickering over to my family and then back to me. "I... please go see her first, Louise, you..."
My mother nods silently, her hand tightly gripping my father's as they walk towards the hospital room. Their steps are slow and heavy, their faces etched with worry.
I follow them down the sterile white hallways, my heart beating loudly in my chest. When we reach the room, my parents enter first while I stand outside. I can hear their muffled sobs from inside, and I feel a lump forming in my throat.
When they come back out, my father quickly ushers my mother away, both of them in tears. I take a deep breath before slowly walking into the room. The sight before me takes my breath away. Becca is lying in the hospital bed, her small frame looking even smaller under the white sheets. Tubes and wires are attached to her body, and a bandage covers her head.
My legs feel weak as I make my way to the chair next to her bed and sit down. I lay my head on her chest and let the tears flow freely. "Fuck, Becs," I whisper brokenly. "I... god. I wanted the baby. I wanted you." My words are barely audible through my sobs. "I know you can't hear me, but... please. Wake up. I need you."
As much as it hurts to leave her side, I know I have to give her father a turn to see her. Wiping the tears from my face, I stand up and step into the hallway where he is waiting for me. There is a mutual understanding between us - two people who care deeply for Becca - as he silently nods at me.
I head outside and pull out a cigarette, needing something to calm my racing thoughts. So many emotions are running through me - fear, sadness, guilt, and a deep longing for Becca to wake up. I take a drag of the cigarette, trying to calm my nerves.
But despite everything that has happened, one thought continues to consume me. I need to show Becca how much she means to me. How much I truly care for her and want to be with her.
How much I love her.