28. Kara
28
KARA
I spent the next few days hiding in my cabin. I washed the sheets Hawk and Hayley Jade had bought, marveling over how soft and luxurious they were. The bags had a boutique stamp on them from a shop with a Providence address. All I could think about was Hawk, in his dirty jeans and leather jacket and motorcycle boots, picking out these nice, expensive things for me.
Things I definitely didn’t deserve.
But they were so beautiful it was hard not to want them.
I convinced myself it was okay to take them because eventually Hayley Jade would move down here with me, and she could be the one to enjoy the high-thread-count sheets and the candle that made the cabin smell like freshly baked cookies.
I wanted her here so badly I could barely breathe.
But she was still sleeping on a cot in Queenie and Aloha’s room. She couldn’t do that forever though. At some point, she was going to have to come back here, and when she did, I wanted to be ready.
I was also avoiding Hawk.
Or more accurately, avoiding his bedroom and the things he’d promised would happen if I went in there.
I had to close my eyes and clench my thighs together every time I thought about what he’d done to me on that bed. It sent goosebumps spreading across my skin every time I entered the bedroom.
But if I was being honest, I liked it.
I liked remembering the way he’d smelled. The way his body had felt, pressed on mine. The way his tongue had…
I swallowed thickly as Rebel snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Earth to Kara. Did you hear what I said?”
I blinked, focusing on my sister. She’d come over earlier, only Remi with her, the other kids at home with one of the guys. I shook my head. “Sorry, no. I got distracted.”
Rebel twisted on the front porch swing, hooking one leg up onto the seat so she could face me. “I asked how Hayley Jade was doing? Any changes?”
I stared out at my daughter following her younger cousin around, Remi leading in a game she’d made up that seemed to involve searching for fairies in the shrubs. The only reason Hayley Jade had come down to the cabin was because Rebel and Remi were here. Rebel had herded both girls down to me after she realized Hayley Jade was up at the clubhouse and I was down here alone.
I lifted a shoulder to answer my sister’s question. “No, not really. Queenie says she’s eating normally, but she still won’t talk.” I swallowed hard, remembering the last day I’d heard her voice.
I so desperately wanted to hear it again.
Rebel squeezed my leg. “There’s a clinic at the hospital. It’s free. I thought maybe we should take Hayley Jade? Just get her checked out, you know?” She grimaced at me. “Please just ignore me if I’m overstepping. But it’s been on my mind. As is getting her into school. She should really be going.”
My eyes went wide. “She can’t. They’d find her and take her and I’d never see her again.”
Rebel reluctantly nodded. “Homeschool then. You could teach her.”
My heart sank. “She won’t even sit in the same room as me. How am I going to teach her anything when she’s terrified of me?”
Rebel sighed and watched the two girls playing. “You’re right. She’s only five. Making sure she’s okay mentally and physically is more important than anything else right now.”
I put a finger to my mouth and chewed on the nail. “I do think she needs to see a doctor.”
Rebel nodded. “The clinic doesn’t require ID or insurance. I checked. There’ll be no record of either of you there. It’ll be safe. But you still can’t go alone. Fang or one of the other guys will take you and stay with you until it’s time to bring you back.”
I didn’t know how to tell her that wasn’t even my biggest worry. But that actually getting Hayley Jade there was.
I didn’t think I could take another round of her screaming and crying and fighting to get away from me .
She’d go with Queenie, but I really wanted to be the one who took her. And Queenie couldn’t protect her.
Hawk could. She’d trusted Hawk enough to let him take her into town once. She was still carrying around the stuffie he’d bought her while they were out, and I hadn’t missed the way she took notice of everything he said.
Which was probably not great because the man swore like a drunken sailor.
But at least she wasn’t scared of him.
That was all that mattered in getting her to a doctor.
I cleared my throat. “It’s okay. I know Fang is busy. I’ll ask Hawk to take us.”
Rebel paused. “Seriously? Hawk?” She screwed up her face in disgust.
“Don’t do that,” I said quickly.
Her expression was still twisted in dislike. “Do what?”
I pointed at her expression. “You make faces every time his name comes up in conversation.”
“Yeah, because he’s the worst.” She drew her knee up to her chest and wrapped her arms around it. “He’s such a pig.”
“He’s not the worst,” I said quietly. “We both know that’s not true.”
Hawk might have been obnoxious and sarcastic and even self-centered, but there were men who did much worse things than that.
He was not the worst.
She glanced over at me and sighed. “Yes. We do. Sorry. But I can’t see Hawk agreeing unless War makes him.”
She was probably right. “Hayley Jade likes him. Maybe if I ask him nicely… ”
“Uncle Hawk!” Remi shouted, stopping in the middle of her game.
Hayley Jade stopped playing as well, and to my surprise, waved her little hand at the figure coming along the path.
Rebel swore softly under her breath. “Well, damn. She does like him. That’s the first time I’ve seen her wave to anyone since you two got here.”
I’d stopped listening. I was too busy staring at the man, my heart pounding louder with every step closer he took. His gaze sought mine and held it, and the heat threatened to consume me.
His eyes were so green they were all I could think about. His lips were so perfectly shaped and had fit over my clit so well it was like I could feel them there right now.
His mouth quirked up like he knew exactly what I was thinking about.
Because he was thinking about it too.
Rebel cleared her throat in a way that somehow sounded disapproving. “Your kid has poor taste in men, Kara. Please don’t tell me it’s hereditary.”
I snapped my head in her direction. “What?”
Why on earth had that come out kind of breathless? Why did my skin suddenly feel so hot it could peel off?
She gripped my arm, her eyes widening in shock. “You like him!”
I swatted at her, panic creeping up my throat that she would realize the truth in her words. That she could somehow sense what I’d let him do to me in the bedroom just behind us. “Stop it!” I hissed. “I’m married.”
Rebel narrowed her gaze. “You’re married to a monster. Nobody around here is going to judge you for not honoring wedding vows you were forced into making.”
I didn’t want to talk about it. I wasn’t like Rebel and Bliss who could talk about sex and orgasms like they were chatting about the weather.
The only person I wanted to talk about orgasms with was the man walking up my front steps and leaning on my porch railing like he owned the place.
Rebel glowered at him. “Look who showed up to wreck the day. Go away.”
“Nope.” He popped the P, just to piss her off. “It’s Kara’s place, and she likes me. Isn’t that what you just said?”
I glared at my sister, mortified Hawk had heard her.
She grimaced. “Oops.”
He leaned in, his lips to my ear so only I could hear. “Don’t worry, Little Mouse. Your sweet, wet pussy and the way you came on my fingers told me exactly how much you like me. Rebel’s big mouth didn’t tell me anything I didn’t already know.”
I wanted the ground beneath the porch to open up so I could throw myself into it.
Hawk didn’t seem affected by it at all though. He straightened and jerked his head toward the main clubhouse. “Cops are here searching for the two of you. Can you come up? I don’t want them coming down here, knowing which cabin you’re staying in. Better that no one other than club members know that.”
My heart rate increased again, but this time it wasn’t because of the ridiculously attractive man waiting on me.
I stood, nodding my thanks to Hawk as I passed him .
Rebel followed me, though I doubt she acknowledged Hawk the way I had. She paused at the bottom of the steps. “Girls? We need to go back up to the main house, okay? There’s some police officers up there that Mommy and Aunty need to go talk to.”
Remi jogged over to her mother’s side and grinned. “We found five fairies!”
“Five?” Rebel asked. “That’s amazing!”
“I called one Pix. Like Daddy calls you.”
Rebel grinned at her daughter and ruffled her hair. “That’s very sweet, kiddo. What are the other ones called?”
“Madden, Wolf, and Lavender.”
Rebel chuckled. “Well, I’m sure your brothers and sister will all be pleased to have fairies named after them. You said five, though, and that’s only four. Did you ask Hayley Jade if she wanted to name the last one?”
Remi looked over at Hayley Jade, who shot a quick glance at Hawk.
Remi dissolved into giggles like Hayley Jade had just said the funniest thing ever. “She wants to call the last fairy Hawk,” Remi announced.
Hawk stopped and turned back, an eyebrow raised.
Rebel glanced at me, and we both looked down at Hayley Jade, who was watching for Hawk’s reaction with bated breath.
I didn’t know how Remi had worked out what Hayley Jade had wanted without a single verbal word spoken between the two of them, but it was clear she’d interpreted Hayley Jade’s meaning correctly.
I was very scared Hawk was not going to deal well with having a fairy named after him .
“A fairy named Hawk, huh, Hay Jay?” he asked slowly. “You want to name the dainty little fairy after me?”
Hayley Jade nodded.
Hawk’s grin widened. “Best fairy name ever.”
The expression on Hayley Jade’s rounded face was priceless. Her grin widened until it matched his. He took a few steps back toward the girls then he broke into a run, scooping the two of them up beneath his arms and spinning them around in circles while they squealed and giggled. “Fairies gotta fly!”
The two girls reached their arms out and kicked their legs in the air, their laughter contagious as Hawk flew them up the path to the clubhouse, where two police cars sat in the parking lot.
Rebel shook her head, watching them go. “Who was that, and what have they done with the real Hawk? He’s never paid Remi any attention, let alone flown her up the path so she could be a fairy.”
I smiled softly to myself. “I told you he’s not the worst.”
Rebel let out a soft sigh. “Or maybe he’s even worse than I thought. Because if he makes you fall for him and then he breaks your heart—”
“Stop saying things like that. It’s a sin.” What had happened between Hawk and I wasn’t going to happen again. There wasn’t going to be any opportunity to break my heart because I couldn’t have feelings for someone while I was married to someone else.
Rebel shook her head slowly. “I hope you don’t truly believe that, little sister. Because from the look on your face, you’re already halfway gone.”