33. Kara
33
KARA
I moaned as Hawk’s essence hit my most private parts.
Cried out as he massaged it into my sensitive, swollen clit.
We both stared down at the mess he’d made of my body, and my core clenched at the sight.
I’d never had a man pull out like that. Mark me like I was his, instead of just trying to fill me with his seed.
Hawk trailed his fingers through the mess, using it as lubricant to play with my nipples again, until I was sure I would self-combust.
I didn’t dare tell him to stop. That wasn’t allowed in the commune.
But for the first time in my life, I didn’t want to. I wanted him to just keep doing it. Making me feel things I’d never felt before. Working my body into such a frenzy that nothing else existed except his touch and the way it caused pleasure where I’d only ever felt pain .
I was so hot. So sticky and sweaty. So utterly spent I couldn’t move.
And yet if he’d demanded another orgasm, I would have just opened my legs.
“You’re making little noises like you’re hoping for a fourth,” Hawk murmured into my shoulder. “I would give them to you all night, but you’d be sore as hell tomorrow.”
I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of his lips brushing across my neck. Tears pricked behind my eyes again, not from the overwhelm of pleasure this time, but for the fact he didn’t want to hurt me.
He dragged himself up off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. A moment later, the water turned on, and then he was back, with a warm, wet washcloth that he wiped carefully over my body.
I was too sated to even feel self-conscious. After everything he’d done to me, it was impossible to feel anything but relaxed.
“Why don’t you let anyone else see this side of you?” I asked quietly, watching him gently remove the products of our joining from my skin.
He glanced up. “What? The naked side?”
I frowned. “The gentle side. The side that isn’t…mean.”
He paused, his washcloth resting on my lower belly. “I’m not gentle.”
“The way you’re touching me now says otherwise.”
He went back to cleaning my skin, swiping the cloth through the patch of hair on my mound, and then lower to clean his cum from my folds. “Is this okay? ”
I nodded. “It feels nice.”
“I’ve never done this before.”
I bit my lip. “What do you normally do with women when you’ve finished having sex with them then?”
He glanced at me. “Like I said. I’m not gentle. You really want to know what I do with a woman after I’ve had her?”
I nodded.
He sighed. “I tell her to fuck off. I can’t stand them sleeping in my room, and I can’t stand staying in theirs. There’s a reason people think I’m mean, Kara. It’s because I am.”
He didn’t know mean. Maybe he was crass and uncaring. Maybe he was selfish.
But Josiah was mean. Caleb had been mean.
Hawk had touched me like I mattered. Like I was worthy of pleasure. Like I was a person, and not just a vessel for a man or the Lord he served.
I took the cloth from his hands and rolled off the mattress, taking it to the bathroom. I stayed there for a lot longer than necessary, using the facilities, brushing my teeth, and putting on a robe that Bliss had brought over for me with a bag of clothes she’d cleaned out of her wardrobe for me. We were the same size, and I was grateful to not have to squeeze into my tiny sister’s clothes any more.
I liked the clothes Hawk had picked out for me too. But Bliss’s hand-me-downs had filled out my wardrobe nicely.
I rinsed the cloth out beneath the hot water and listened, but I couldn’t hear anything from outside the room .
I opened the door and took a single step out.
Hawk watched me from the bed, still gloriously naked, though he’d pulled a sheet up high enough to cover his manhood. It did nothing to hide the ridges of his abs. Or the thick lines that ran either side of his hips, a silent invitation to see what was beneath the sheet.
Even though I’d only just seen it minutes before, I wanted to see it again.
Feel it inside me.
Take it inside my mouth and suck until I made him feel as good as I had.
Instead, I went back into the bathroom, made the cloth hot again, and brought it to him.
“You didn’t leave,” I said quietly, crawling across the bed and kneeling in front of him. Slowly, I lowered the sheet, exposing his now soft member. Like he had for me, I cleaned him with caring, gentle strokes.
“Is that what you were waiting for?” he asked.
“You said that after you were with someone you…” He’d been crude in what he’d said. I tidied it up a little. “Asked them to leave.”
His dick moved beneath my hands, but I kept cleaning him, wiping off the residue of multiple orgasms and sex that had lasted for hours instead of minutes.
“I did say that,” he agreed.
“But you didn’t do it.”
“No.”
“Why?” I knew he wasn’t lying. I’d seen him throw Amber out into the hall buck naked, not even giving her a chance to put underwear on.
And yet he was still here in my bed. Taking care of me. Letting me take care of him .
He ran his fingers along the edge of the soft sheets. “Maybe I just wanted you to touch my cock again?”
I looked up at him. He was getting hard, so I supposed that was a possibility.
I stroked his cock until it was stiff, and then lowered my mouth toward it.
He stopped me. “What are you doing?”
“That’s the only reason you stayed, right?” I challenged, feeling brave after he’d spent the last few hours building me up. “You only stayed so I’d touch your dick. That’s what you said.”
He frowned at me. Then grabbed my wrist, dragging me down onto the bed beside him. I landed on the soft mattress with an “oof” of surprise.
The surprise turned to shock when he rolled me onto my side and then fit his big body behind me, his knees meeting the backs of mine, his heavy arm pinning me in place.
“What are you doing?” I whispered to him.
“Snuggling.”
I widened my eyes. “Snuggling?”
Like he realized he’d said something sweet, on top of not disappearing the second he’d had a chance, he mumbled, “I’m too fucking tired to go up to the clubhouse. I fucked you hard for a really long time. Shut up and go to sleep. Your body needs time to heal so I can do it again in the morning.”
The words were back to harsh.
But he didn’t move his arm from around my middle.
I was sure no one would believe me when I told them, but Hawk lay like that, wrapped around me, for the entire night .
Snuggling the overweight, worthless woman who’d been kicked to the curb one too many times.
Snuggling the bad-boy biker who was maybe not as prickly as he seemed.