Chapter 37
Cherry
She took a big-girl breath and drove on to Summer’s house.
Summer was padding around in bright green pyjamas with lambs on them. A cat was following her around, rubbing against her ankles and purring.
‘Love the PJs,’ Cherry said.
‘Thank you. I’ve made up the spare room for you. There’s a towel on the bed. Bathroom is at the end of the hall. You might have a sleeping companion; I hope you don’t mind.’ She motioned to the cat at her ankles. ‘Butterscotch likes to sleep in there sometimes.’
‘Not a problem at all.’ Cherry had to ask the question that was niggling at her mind. ‘How is Sean? Do you know?’
‘I think he’s okay. Bruised and stuff, but still talking about finishing the race. That’s Sean. His foot could be hanging off, and he’d still be climbing Kilimanjaro.’
And that was her man. It was a comfort knowing he was near again, but she ached to see him. To spend the night with him, in that bed that she’d never been in.
Never slept in the same bed as her husband,’ she considered, as she snuggled under the duvet a short time later. ‘How was that? So symbolic of their relationship. Fucking everywhere but his bedroom. She’d give anything to be in Sean’s bed right now. Next to him.
God, she was torturing herself, although it made a difference from pleasuring herself on the small bank of memories and a backup generator of fantasies.
Ugh. She groaned quietly and rolled over in bed, leaning to turn off the lamp. At that moment, her phone lit up. She grabbed it so fast it nearly fell to the floor.
SEAN: You come to Kinshore but you don’t come to see your injured husband? Rude.
Tears stung Cherry’s eyes as a small laugh choked out. Oh my God! She fumbled across the keys, tapping out a response.
CHERRY: You still think of yourself as my husband?
SEAN: Have done since the moment I met you. Don’t make me come over there and get you, wife.
A huge, goofy grin spread across her face. He wanted to see her. He’d pushed her away, but now he was asking her back. And calling her his wife.
CHERRY: Are you okay to have after-dark visitors?
SEAN: It’s not a booty call, you wee minx. I just want to see you. But I am going to bed if you’re not here in ten minutes.
She shot out from under the duvet. Joggers and a tee would do. Summer was still in the kitchen, making a herbal tea, when Cherry practically fell down the stairs.
‘Sorry,’ Summer said. ‘I might have told Nate, who might have told Sean, that you’re back.’
‘No need to apologise.’ Cherry panted, grabbing her bag and pulling on her trainers. ‘I’m popping over there for a bit. I’ll be back soon.’
Summer beamed. ‘Take as long as you guys need. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you.’
It was strange to knock at the door of Sean’s house, where she’d come and gone so freely for two months.
When he answered, he was wearing navy jogging bottoms, a black t-shirt clinging in all the places that rendered her defenceless, and the colour under one of his eyes sat somewhere between the two shades.
She gasped.
‘Alright, Paradise. I know I’m handsome, but I’m not that handsome.’
‘Sean, your eye.’ She drew in closer, her instinct being to touch it. Touch him. Her hand got as far as his chin before she pulled it back, afraid it was the wrong thing to do.
‘I’m fine.’ She noticed his eyes move from the chain around her neck, where his wedding ring hung, to her wedding finger and the white diamond ring he’d given her. There was a fragmentary hesitation as if he were about to say something about this, but instead he said, ‘Come on in.’
Nothing much had changed in the house, which still had that warm, woody Sean smell. He motioned for her to sit on the couch and sat down at the other end, turning slowly to face her.
Now it was her turn to catch sight of his hand. Wedding ring free, of course.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked. ‘Summer said you took a nasty tumble off your bike.’
A softness in Sean’s expression suggested appreciation of her concern.
‘I’m fine. Had a bit of an old-lady fainting spell because of low blood pressure.
Fell off my bike into a ditch. Came round with a black eye and bruised ribs, went to hospital and here we are.
The doctor advised me to rest for far too long, but I’ve a ride to finish, so I’ll be going against doctor’s orders. ’
And wasn’t this the man she loved all over? ‘Oh, Sean. Are you sure?’
‘Aye.’
She twisted her lip. He shouldn’t be thinking about the cycle, but it was too much to expect him not to.
‘I’m fine,’ he said. ‘Don’t worry. I presume that is worry I’m seeing.’
Cherry wiped away a tear before it tumbled down her cheek. ‘Of course it’s worry, you daft muppet. You could have died.’
Sean dismissed the possibility with a light laugh. ‘Not from a wee tumble into a ditch, although the doctor did tell me to sort myself out or I could be marching into pre-diabetes land.’
‘Fucking what?! Sean! They told you you’ve got pre-diabetes?’
Sean shook his head from side to side in an indefinable way. ‘No, they didn’t, but I need to be a bit healthier. Lower stress, less Irn-Bru and a better diet. It’s no biggie.’
‘It is a biggie. What caused all this? Overdoing it?’
He caught her concern. ‘Stuff we talked about, I think. Me looking out for everyone else but myself. But don’t worry, Cher, please. I’ve learned my lesson.’
‘Have you, though? There are a lot of people who care a hell of a lot that you’re around, you know. Me included.’
‘Aye, I have. And I’d trade all the Irn-Bru in Scotland to have you here every day. Zero contest.’
God, she wanted to wrap herself around him. Have him squeeze her right back. Being on the other end of the couch was too far away.
Sean read her expression. ‘I’d come closer,’ he said. ‘But, you know…’
‘The black eye?’
He laughed. ‘No, not the black eye. You. I want you, Cherry. But I’m a bit debilitated, and if I go near you, I might disappoint both of us.’
‘I highly doubt you would disappoint.’ Cherry smoothed down a cushion, holding it as a very poor second to her husband.
‘Jesus, the way you’re stroking that cushion is turning me on, so you might want to stop it.’
‘Oh. Sorry. I didn’t realise a cushion could be such a trigger.’
‘Of course you didn’t. But now you do.’
‘But listen… There are some things I have realised.’ Cherry pulled the cushion in closer.
‘Go on.’
‘The first thing is that I’m sorry for all the ups and downs of being married to me. I’m so sorry. You mean so much to me and…’ Her voice wobbled.
‘Cherry, come on. Don’t cry. Unless you want comforted by a very horny man.’
She laughed. ‘Is he you?’
‘Aye, he’s me.’
‘I would actually love that.’
Sean raised his eyebrows, but his expression morphed into serious. ‘Tell me what you realised.’
She found herself reaching for the cushion again, but stopped.
‘The short version is I’ve realised that I have to stop letting my fears hold me to ransom, otherwise it’s going to ruin my life.
I have to choose loving you. Because being without you, Sean, is so much worse than my worries for the future, and I couldn’t bear the regret of letting you go without trying.
I honestly believe that you and I were made for each other.
I love you so, so much, and I missed you every second of every day I was away from you. ’
For one heartstopping moment, she wasn’t sure of Sean’s response to this. He was staring at her so intensely that it was hard to tell if he hated her words or loved them. Hated or loved her. Then he reached across the couch, and it became obvious which it was.
‘Cherry, sweetheart, it was torture without you. I’m sorry I laid down the law about you coming back. I was an emotional mess and petrified of losing you.’
‘It’s okay. I understand.’ She took his hand, her wedding ring glinting with a reminder of what she was holding – not just the metaphorical.
Sean touched the ring.
‘I have yours,’ she said.
Glancing at her neck, he said, ‘I noticed.’
‘Would you like it back?’
‘Ha. Aye. Letting it go was the stupidest thing I ever did. I’d kill for it back.’
Cherry faced away from him and lifted her hair so Sean could unclasp the chain. His warm fingers glancing over her neck gave the sweetest relief. Turning back to him, she slid the ring off the chain.
‘Can I…?’ She motioned to his hand.
His eyes shone. Despite it seeming like it was too much, he never took them from her, chest rising and falling, face softening, right hand steadying his ribs. ‘Of course you bloody can.’
Cherry rested his left palm in her own and, as he watched, pushed the ring up his wedding finger. This almost felt more significant than the first time.
‘For better or for worse, I love you, Sean Butler.’
Sean flexed his fingers, examining the gold band.
‘God, I’ve missed this thing.’ He raised his gaze back to Cherry.
‘I’ve missed you, Cherry, my beautiful, wild wife.
And it might not surprise you to learn that I am out of my mind in love with you, too.
Thank you for coming back, for caring and for being so honest. Have I ever told you that marrying you was the best thing I ever did? ’
His words almost knocked the breath out of Cherry. He loved her. He wanted her back in his life. He regretted nothing. ‘Y-You truly think that?’ she stammered.
‘Of course I do. You’re perfect for me. And if you’re sticking around then so am I. Tennessee can get tae. Most respectfully, of course.’
‘Oh, Sean.’ She clasped his hand. ‘I’d love to stick around.’
‘Oh, fuck it, would you come here?’ He motioned to his lap, where Cherry didn’t hesitate in curling up.
‘No hanky panky, okay?’ He teased a finger down her jawline. ‘Just a wee kiss.’
She fixed on the steadfast angles of his face. Could she do just a kiss with this man? She could try.
‘Fuck,’ Sean groaned before their mouths had even met. ‘This was a mistake.’
‘Oh, well, we don’t have to…’
‘I mean that I’m not sure I can just kiss you.’ He pressed his forehead to hers. ‘I’m going to need either self-control to stop this or working ribs to keep going, and I have neither. My God, woman, you turn every part of me on.’
He pressed his lips to hers and held them there. Soft and firm. Reassuring. No tongues, no wandering hands. Just Sean. It was perfect.
‘Let’s go upstairs,’ he murmured.
‘Mmm… I want to, but no.’ Cherry summoned every ounce of willpower she had and slid from Sean’s knee, his hand still in hers.
‘I am going to be a good wife and walk out of that front door to let you get some sleep tonight.’
‘Are you kidding me?’
Her face split into a grin. ‘Of course I’m kidding. Now, what would you like?’ She shimmied back from him. ‘Cherry pie or Cherry blossom?’
He beamed. ‘What’s the difference?’ His eyes were fixed on her from the couch as he cradled his ribs.
‘I actually have no idea. But they both involve this…’ Cherry whipped her t-shirt over her head.
Sean sat up straight, wincing but suddenly very alert at the sight of her in plunge bra and joggers. ‘And the rest, Paradise. And the rest. Or I’ll come over there and eat them off you.’
As tempting as that sounded, Cherry knew that Sean deserved her on a plate. He’d waited long enough; they both had. She unclipped her bra and let her breasts spill free.
He sucked in a long breath. Nodded to the jogging bottoms.
Cherry brought them down over her hips, but only a notch, letting them linger above her pubic bone. A tease, just for him, because she knew he loved it.
She definitely had his attention. ‘Are you not wearing any panties, Cherry? Did you come to a man with bruised ribs in joggers with just that beautiful pussy underneath?’
Cherry flicked her eyebrows up. ‘I thought it might help with your recovery. I needed to be sending you the right energy.’
Sean laughed hard, the same way he had the very first night they’d met in New York City, but also winced and reinforced his hold on his ribs. ‘That is – as the Americans would say –total baloney, but who am I to argue?’
She shrugged. ‘Indeed.’
‘Show me.’
Sliding her hand inside the waistband, Cherry gently shimmied the joggers over her hips so that, slowly, Sean got to see everything he was so patiently waiting for. Her husband’s worshipful gaze and the mild September air fuelled her as she stepped into full nudity.
‘Come here!’ he beckoned hoarsely.
Softly, she went to him, watching him watching her, and knelt between his knees.
‘Cherry.’ He skimmed his hand over her breast, down the middle of her stomach, trailing into the most sensitive area right between her legs, but only giving a dusting of a touch.
It was clear as the night sky, by the tent pitching in his own joggers, what this was doing to him.
‘This might not be the time to say this – I’m torturing myself here – but when I married you, I was so in love with you. Crazy to some, but you get it, right?’
Cherry nodded, swelling with heat and adoration where his finger stilled. ‘Of course I do. I fell for you the moment I laid eyes on you.’
‘I would have married you that night if I could.’
‘Me too, Seany. I’m sorry it’s taken us so long to get here. I’m sorry for being a broken mess.’
‘Don’t you dare apologise.’ Sean lowered his hand, along with his voice, and brought it to rest on her hip.
‘You’re not broken; you’re fractured, like all of us.
To me, you’re the most captivating woman ever.
You’re a fucking goddess in motion, and I got to marry you.
Things haven’t exactly taken the traditional route, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
You are so beautiful, Cherry, inside, outside, up, down, back to front… ’
‘There’s been a lot of that.’
‘Aye, our journey to get here has been nuts, but I’ve loved every second. I’m addicted to this. Addicted to you. I’d explode if I felt any more for someone than I do for you. This is enough. It’s everything.’
‘Oh, Sean. A thousand times all of that. I’ve never met anyone I’ve felt for even a fraction of what I feel for you. Nothing on my bucket list can compare to you. Nothing.’
‘Not even swimming with dolphins?’
God, he was beautiful. No one could make her melt or laugh, or come until she was hoarse calling his name, like Sean could. ‘That’s not on there, and you know it.’
‘I know. Is having an orgasm while a Scotsman tells you how much he loves you?’
‘It should be.’
‘Well, let’s go upstairs, Mrs Butler, and check that item off right now.’