Wild About You

Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

Why I agreed to get on a horse, I have no idea. I can only put it down to the fact that I hadn’t had my second cup of coffee and was too bleary-eyed to really understand what I was getting into. Also, Jamie had annoyed me yet again, which seemed to be a determining factor in most of my actions.

I’d been worrying about not getting enough work done, before Fi pointed out that it was generally accepted that no one did any work whilst Roshni, George and their boys were around. They had brought holiday time to Stonemore. Bearing that in mind, I spent a good hour with Roshni discussing the difficulties of her London garden, and finally managed to recover the ability to speak rationally in her presence, largely because it was impossible to be intimidated by someone whose laugh was so raucous.

Each morning the boys tore through the house with Hugo, hallooing at volunteers, staff and visitors alike, followed cheerfully by Roshni who disciplined their descent (‘do not touch that vase, Jake’) and more slowly by George, who was usually complaining about the broadband – even though, as Roshni explained, she was the only one who had important work to catch up on. They would eventually end up in our office, where amusements would be arranged (the first full day involved a ‘Land Rover safari’ with Callum).

This particular morning, Hugo led the charge, appearing a good thirty seconds before anyone else and launching himself into my lap. I was busy stroking his ears when the boys arrived.

‘Anna Annabel Annie!’ Jake cried. He had an excellent, if approximate, memory for names. ‘We’re going on a horsey today!’

‘Jake, don’t shout at Anna.’ Roshni and Kes had arrived, this time with George and Jamie. I smiled brightly at the family and tapped away at my computer.

‘Lucinda’s lined up a riding excursion,’ said Roshni. ‘Will you be joining us, Tally? She says there’s room for adults too.’

The alarm on Tally’s face was plain for all to see. Surely she hadn’t faked knowing how to ride? I’d started to suspect her carefully cultivated facade of competency was just that. The previous day she’d gone into a meltdown when attempting to enter a calculation into Excel. But pretending to ride? Like rats in London, you were never more than three feet away from a horse at any given time in Stonemore. She must have known she’d be caught out.

‘I can’t,’ she chuntered. ‘I’m wearing vintage Chanel today. And I’m inundated with work. The paintings conservator will arrive at any minute. Maybe you can take Anna – she looks horse-ready – it’s not as if she’ll ruin her clothes.’

I raised my eyebrows at her for the unfair shot. So, okay, I hadn’t managed to put any make-up on today (lipstick goal: failed). And I was still wearing jeans, boots and a Scandi-style sweater. But I was clean! I was wearing perfume! And there was no reason to throw me in the path of thundering hooves.

Tally’s mobile rang and she hurried off with it.

‘Looks like it’s every woman for herself, Anna,’ said Roshni. ‘Will you join us?’

‘No.’ Jamie and I spoke in unison, providing a response so loud, and in stereo, that everything stopped. Even Kes paused from flicking his brother’s right ear.

‘I beg your pardon?’ I said indignantly, finally letting myself look at Jamie. Either he’d been drinking whisky first thing in the morning or he was blushing with embarrassment. A definite first. As was the fact that beneath his waxed jacket, he was wearing jeans (posh jeans, no doubt), along with worn brown Chelsea boots and a copper-coloured sweater that looked as though it cost a month’s salary (my salary, that is). Or maybe it was just him – his high and mighty attitude made things look expensive.

‘What I meant to say is, Anna is busy,’ said Jamie.

‘I’m pretty up to date, actually,’ I said (a blatant lie). ‘Maybe I will have a go at this riding malarkey. How hard can it be?’

‘This, I have to see,’ said Callum, smiling. ‘I’ll go and make sure Lucinda saddles up a safe one.’

‘That’s my girl, Anna,’ said Roshni. ‘I’m going to take these terrors for a quick runaround first. Come on, Hugo.’ She clipped the beagle’s lead on. ‘See you at the stables, Anna. George!’ Her husband glanced up from his phone, nodded, and followed her. But Jamie didn’t go. He stood, glowering, his hands pushed into the pockets of his waxed jacket.

‘What was that all about?’ he demanded.

‘I could ask you the same question,’ I said. I heard the churn of the photocopier down the hall as Fi prepared the steward rotas Tally had bailed on.

‘I got you out of it,’ he said. ‘You looked like you didn’t want to do it.’

‘Well…’ I bumbled. ‘Technically, you’re correct. But you’ve reneged on being my boss boss, so speaking for me? It’s a bit much.’

‘Your boss boss?’ he said, a flicker of amusement brightening his eyes. Against my will, I felt the ends of my mouth curving up into a smile at the idea I’d amused him. How annoying. Being made to smile when I was meant to be acting very angrily.

‘I suppose I’d better go and look at the horse,’ I said sulkily. I could hear Tally’s heels clattering down the corridor as she spoke nineteen to the dozen. When she appeared she was followed by a rather puzzled-looking man, who was nodding at her narrative of the Poussin painting: layers of varnish, layers of smoke, blah blah. Tally formally introduced him as ‘Darren the conservator, here to look at the Poussin’.

Jamie shook his hand and I became aware Tally was eyeballing me. ‘Anna,’ she said. ‘I’m dreadfully busy – could you look after Darren?’

Darren gave me a weak, but faintly unsettling smile.

‘Um,’ I said. I automatically felt the pull to say yes: smooth the path with Tally , my brain said, she might even start liking you . I fought the feeling. ‘No?’ I managed. It definitely came out as a question. Tally tilted her head, ready to go in for the kill.

‘We have something else to deal with,’ said Jamie shortly, before I realised the we he was referring to was him and me. ‘I’m sure you can deal with this, can’t you, Tally?’

Tally’s eyes widened with shock. ‘Of course, my lord,’ she said, practically curtseying.

‘Great, thanks. Anna! You’re with me.’

Just this once, I decided not to give him any lip, grabbed my coat, and followed him.

Jamie and I walked to the stables, which were behind the house at a diagonal from the formal garden and hidden by high privet hedges. I had to hurry to keep up with his long stride. ‘I hope you don’t mind me saving you from babysitting Darren,’ he muttered.

‘It was fine, I didn’t need saving,’ I said.

‘Don’t tell me he’s your type. I’d better warn Callum he has a challenger for your affections.’

‘What the hell!’ I swung round and nearly slipped in a swampy puddle. Jamie caught hold of my arms to stop me from falling.

‘I’m sorry…’ The words slipped out as though he had no control of them. ‘It’s just—’

‘Uncle Jay Jay! Uncle Jay Jay!’ Kes came barrelling around the corner. Jamie released me. No sign of curiosity showed on Kes’s six-year-old face. ‘Ponies! You’re missing everything!’

‘Okay, mate.’ Jamie’s face broke into a smile. There was something very strange about that smile. Since that evening in the flat, I’d noticed it was ridiculously breathtaking – like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. Perhaps he’d been taught how to do it at boarding school, along with the staring, to use his smile as a deadly weapon, able to floor people at fifty paces.

I kept my gaze fixed on the ground and marched on behind them. When we arrived, Callum greeted me with a quick hug. ‘Lucinda’s chosen a lovely old codger for you to ride,’ he said. ‘She’s gone to get him now.’

‘Lucky me,’ I said, glancing up to see that Roshni was watching me. She was sipping tea from a tiny cup. As Jamie lifted Kes onto a Shetland pony, who was rather worryingly known as Tyke, Roshni beckoned to me.

‘You’re glowing,’ she said.

‘Er, gosh! Thanks,’ I said, and she gave me a smile that seemed to have layers to it.

‘Fi arranged for tea and biscuits,’ she gestured to refreshments set up on a tarpaulin-covered table. ‘Honestly, sometimes this place is heaven. I never feel more looked after than when I come here.’

I poured myself a miniature cup of coffee. ‘It’s certainly nicer than the corporate world,’ I said. ‘Even if we have a draughty loo and no HR department.’

‘I suppose. Although aren’t all workplaces just mud and gossip? I agree it is literal mud in this case.’

‘Certainly is.’ I raised my voice. ‘Lovely ponies, Lucinda.’

Lucinda was leading out her beloveds. She gave me a sunny smile. ‘Anna! I suspected you fancied a ride really.’

Callum gave a snort of laughter.

‘I’ve had Kit saddled for you.’ Lucinda nodded towards a bemused-looking piebald pony who stared at me with rheumy eyes. It was not love at first sight.

‘I’ll give you a leg-up,’ said Callum, with a twinkle.

I thought I’d be terrified from first till last, but I almost enjoyed it. Kit was a game little pony, and although he wasn’t nearly as handsome as the bay thoroughbred Lucinda had selected for Jamie (typically, he got the classiest horse), it seemed Kit was not going to be put off by the presence of superior beasts, and neither was I. So off we went at speed. It was easier to stay on than I remembered, even when Kit started cantering, apparently overjoyed to be in a fenceless field. It was only when I heard distant shouts that I got the hint we really weren’t supposed to be going that fast. I gave a little tug on the reins but Kit hurtled on, oblivious to my wishes, as I bumped up and down and adjusted to the rhythm of his canter – which was, er, definitely getting faster. Scrub canter, try gallop.

I wasn’t afraid, and that was refreshing. As we hurtled on, it crossed my mind there was nothing to cling to anymore – not the wreckage of my relationship with Sean, not our future plans – and there was no need to preserve myself to be someone’s mother. There was a kind of freedom in being alone. After all, weren’t we all alone, really – even if most people weren’t confronted with it as harshly as I had been?

We’d been careering towards a hedgerow whilst I thought my la-la thoughts and for a moment I thought Kit was preparing to jump it (slightly terrifying), but instead he decided to implement an emergency stop. With breathtaking speed I flew over his shoulder, bounced off the hedgerow, and tumbled onto the ground, where I lay, temporarily stunned like a bird that’s hit a windowpane.

There was a moment of silence. Just me, birdsong, and I thought for a moment I might be dead. Then I wiggled my fingers and toes, checked for pain (none), and started to laugh. I was still laughing when I heard the pounding of hooves and saw Jamie riding towards me, way ahead of everyone else. My heart was already beating pretty hard but, let me tell you, there is nothing like seeing a man galloping towards you on a thoroughbred with an expression of concern on his face to get the pulse racing. As he came to what I believe is technically known as a screeching halt , my laughter reached new heights of hysteria.

‘Holy shit,’ he said. He dismounted in one smooth movement, looped his horse’s reins over its head and fell on his knees next to me. ‘Are you hurt?’

I managed to stop laughing long enough to assure him I was not.

‘Are you sure?’ He put his hands on my shoulders, his eyes searching my face. The sudden physical contact coupled with the intensity of his gaze silenced my laughter. ‘Anna? Did you hit your head?’

‘No,’ I said, trying to catch my breath. ‘I’m fine.’ He looked anguished; I smiled to try and reassure him, very aware of our proximity. ‘Really. I promise.’

After a minute he seemed satisfied that I wasn’t injured and sat back on his heels. ‘Thank God for that.’ A smile dawned on his face in answer to my own. ‘You looked like a bloody Thelwell cartoon.’ He seemed to suddenly notice that he was still holding onto me and let go, pulling away as though he wanted to put distance between us.

George and Callum pulled up alongside the field in a Land Rover and came running. Lucinda was off in the distance, proceeding at a graceful slow-motion canter.

‘Crikey,’ George said. ‘That was quite a tumble.’

Jamie got up and put his hand out to me but I brushed it away, my fingers catching his for a millisecond. Be brave, Anna , I told myself, don’t go all fainting maiden now . ‘I’m 100 per cent fine,’ I said. I got unsteadily to my feet, aware that Jamie was hovering beside me. ‘See?’ I said. ‘No need to worry.’

Jamie nodded, and took a step back as I started to brush myself down.

‘Look at the state of you,’ said Callum, and started laughing.

‘I knew you’d make an idiot of yourself,’ said Tally, as Roshni and I traipsed through the office twenty minutes later. I was still pulling bits of hedgerow out of my hair, but managed to give a shocked-looking Fi – who was on the phone – a thumbs-up as I passed. Jamie had entrusted his horse to George and driven me back without saying a single word, whilst Callum sat in the back seat next to me, picking bits of foliage off me and pissing himself with laughter at my plight. Which had started off being okay but ended up being quite annoying.

‘This is me,’ I said to Roshni as we neared the loo. ‘Thanks for seeing me this far – I should check the damage.’

‘Uh uh,’ she said, in the same tone I’d heard her use on her sons. ‘You’re coming up to the flat. You can use the bathroom there – and have a hot sweet tea. Possibly a glass of whisky. Also, you’ve got a scratch on your face. You need a plaster.’

It was true that after the first blissful discovery that I hadn’t broken anything, I was now starting to feel it a bit, so I followed Roshni without protest. It was just her and me in the flat – the boys were still out with Lucinda, playing with the ponies. I’d given Kit an apple before departing, with the words, ‘No hard feelings, buddy.’ He had munched it happily but looked unimpressed at my attempt to make friends.

We discovered Hugo in the act of dismantling the throws on the sofa. ‘He hates being alone, don’t you, hon?’ said Roshni, stroking his head.

I decided to give in to Roshni’s care. I collapsed on the sofa, let her provide tea, refused whisky, and accepted her first-aid efforts: antiseptic lotion, arnica, and four spoons of sugar in the tea. When the phone rang, Roshni picked it up, and I saw her arch an eyebrow. ‘Anna will be back down when she’s recovered, Tallulah,’ she said crisply. ‘Thank you.’ She put the phone down.

I stifled a groan. ‘Have I annoyed Tally?’

Roshni smiled. ‘Don’t worry, I think she enjoys being annoyed. Also, she doesn’t like me much. She tried to give me a tour of the paintings once, against my will.’

‘I can’t imagine that worked out for her,’ I said.

‘It didn’t.’ Roshni’s eyes sparkled behind her large-framed glasses. ‘In the end I had to tell her George had already given me a very private tour, and I said it in a way which left her lost for words.’

I could just imagine Tally freezing in horror and retreating to her neo-Chippendale desk.

‘The thing I didn’t tell her was that it was desperately romantic,’ she said. ‘We weren’t wrapped in bedsheets or anything, though I think she thought we were. I’d just finished meeting his father, which George had painted as an epic ordeal, but he was enchanting once he’d got over the colour of my skin.’ She caught my eye; I glimpsed the depths beneath her bright exterior. ‘I went to Cambridge from a state school in Bradford. I’ve worked in finance since the day I graduated, sometimes managing only men. George doesn’t really know what an ordeal is.

‘Anyway, so I’d met my future father-in-law, and he’d retired to his brandy, then George took my hand and led me through the house. Jamie had de-alarmed it for us, opened some of the shutters, so I saw the Caravaggio and the Canaletto by moonlight.’ She paused, and I saw again that glimmer of seriousness in her eyes. ‘That’s always how I see them in my mind. Not that he could tell me too much about them. So maybe we did need Tally after all.’

‘Maybe we can ask her later,’ I said. There was something about Roshni’s easy familiarity that relaxed me. Careful , I thought. She’s still family – still a cut above. Act professional, Anna . ‘I don’t remember there being a Canaletto.’

‘There isn’t, anymore.’ Roshni topped up my tea. ‘Jamie had to sell it at auction a few years ago. The house needed a complete rewire. His father had hedged around it for years. It meant Jamie was lumped with all the hard decisions.’

I sipped my tea, thinking that it must have been a wrench to sell something from the collection, when Roshni cut into my thoughts by slapping my knee.

‘You’re a picture,’ she said. ‘There’s still several bits of hedge in your hair, you know.’ We grinned at each other.

‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘I think I’ve failed to entirely adapt to the countryside, as you can see.’

‘Not at all,’ said Roshni. ‘You’re exactly what Stonemore needs. And, much as I love my brother-in-law – and I do – it’s good to see you keeping him in line. He needs a new perspective.’

‘I don’t think I keep him in line,’ I mumbled.

‘You’ll have to take my word for it, then.’ She offered me a biscuit.

‘I think my suitability is yet to be proven.’ I inspected the dregs in my teacup, and thought of ways to change the subject. ‘If I’m not being too nosy,’ I said, ‘how did you meet George?’

She tried to suppress a smile, and failed. ‘I was his manager in a City finance firm – where I still work. I’m used to handling the posh boys. It helps that I’m smarter than most of them, but I’ve had to be.’

I nodded. ‘This doesn’t feel like the real world to me.’

‘I get that. I come from a working-class background, Anna. When I went to Cambridge, it was as though I’d landed on another planet. Half of the people there expected me to defer to them.’

‘And the other half?’

She fixed me with an unblinking stare. ‘The other half didn’t speak to me at all. I wasn’t worth their while. But I was clever. Very, very, clever. Anyway…’ She poured me another cup of tea from the pink teapot on the coffee table, and spooned in more sugar. ‘So there I was, managing teams of these boys, and managing very well. I had zero interest in any of them, romantically. I knew how perilous it was in that kind of environment – they were all waiting for me to fuck up, in any way.’

‘So how did he manage to convince you?’

‘There was a work jolly to Henley Regatta. I took a man I’d met – a lawyer, not from my firm. We’d been together a while. I was thinking of settling. He seemed like a sensible choice, just like I seemed like a sensible choice to him. Decent guy. Nothing to object to. Well, George got drunk and decided to have an argument with me. Out of nowhere. We were bickering away and then I thought, suddenly – God, this is So Much Fun . By the end of the day, I knew he would be important to me in some way. For the first time in a long time, I’d found a man interesting. Really interesting.’

We looked at each other, in the stillness of the flat, Hugo snoring between us. I was used to mischievous Roshni, but this Roshni was serious.

‘The following Monday,’ she said, ‘he came into the office and declared his love. I told him to stop being ridiculous, that there was no way I was getting involved with someone from work. So he resigned, that day.’ She gave a laugh, a little echo, it seemed, of the shock she had felt in the past. ‘I suppose that’s where money helps. I remember thinking how wonderful it was: that desire to declare himself, to be bold, to take a risk. Is that what you’re looking for?’ She gave me too much side-eye; I’d seen her keenly observing me as I hurled myself out of the Land Rover in the wake of a silent Jamie and still-laughing Callum.

‘I’m not looking for anything,’ I said, shifting in my seat and causing Hugo to give a gargantuan sigh. ‘I think I’m feeling fine now. Are you staying for the anniversary celebrations?’

‘No, not this time.’ She smiled. ‘Lots to do at home, and if I’m away from my desk for more than a week, the City boys start rioting, or selling when they’re meant to buy. So we’re off tomorrow. But it’s been nice meeting you, Anna. I hope we see each other again one day.’