Chapter 15
Chapter fifteen
Sad Songs For Song People
Cheyenne
Iawoke alone. Completely and utterly alone. No sign of Maverick, or Brandy for that matter. Worry gripped me, twisting my stomach in knots. Where were they?
I couldn’t tell how late or early it was since there weren’t any windows in the room, but it felt early. I could have sworn I’d just curled up in Maverick’s arms and then here I was. My lungs burned from all the smoke I’d inhaled last night, but I ignored it as I got up.
I needed to find them. It wasn’t like Brandy to leave me, and with the night Maverick had, I wouldn’t have suspected him being up so early.
I padded out of the room and down the hall, the familiar aroma of bacon, hash browns, and something sweet filling the air.
As I turned the corner down the hall, the living room came into view, and directly beyond it, the open dining room and peninsula separating the kitchen.
Ryder and Charlie sat at the peninsula, while Cash leaned against the wide door frame between the dining and living room.
They all stared on in silence toward the large, open kitchen.
Well, if they weren’t cooking that meant…
My heart slowed a bit as I spotted Maverick’s tall frame before the stove, but the worry and tension coiled tight in my belly still remained.
“Hey,” I said quietly, making my presence known. “Has anyone seen—”
The familiar click-clacking of Brandy’s toenails sliced through the thick silence, and everyone’s gaze shuffled to me.
But I was only focused on a single green-eyed gaze.
I regarded him for a long moment, searching for any signs of…
what exactly I wasn’t sure. Was he more back to himself today or still silent?
He wasn’t in the clothes Cash had lent him last night. He wore his usual getup—starched black wranglers, a black long-sleeve, and a black felt cowboy hat.
I bypassed everyone, weaving my way into the kitchen and around the large center island to come to his side. I hovered next to him, longing to reach out and touch him, but was unsure if it was the right thing to do.
“Hey,” I repeated, my voice gentle as I tried to gauge his expression. “How’re you doin’?”
From this close, I noticed the tension in his shoulders, saw the sadness and lifelessness in his gaze. Another piece of my heart shattered. Looked like whatever progress we’d made last night had all but vanished. He lifted his shoulders in a weak shrug and nodded at me.
It was surprisingly easy to understand him even without words. “I’m okay. You scared me. I didn’t think you’d be up so early. And when I noticed Brandy gone too… She doesn’t usually leave my side.”
His gaze turned apologetic and he tilted his chin toward the window in the kitchen looking out at the barn.
I frowned. “Are you sayin’ you woke up to go do chores?”
A nod.
I huffed. Of course, he’d go through some harrowing experience and then wake up the next morning like nothing was wrong, back to choring away. Well, not that he was back to normal, but still.
Ryder’s voice pulled my attention. “He was up first, as usual. Had almost the whole damn barn fed and cleaned before we got out there.”
I can’t believe I’d slept through him leaving and not even heard Brandy’s loud steps on the hardwood. I’d never been a light sleeper, but maybe after last night, my body just went into rest mode.
I looked between Ryder and Maverick. Maverick just shrugged and met my gaze once more. He nodded at the food then quirked an eyebrow.
“I’m a little hungry,” I replied.
He nodded and held up a hand.
“Five minutes?” I asked after a moment.
Another nod.
“Can I help with anything?”
He shook his head, his gaze appreciative as he turned his attention back to the stove. I took that as an opportunity to make my way back to the rest of the group.
Charlie offered me a warm smile as she gestured toward the island. “Want something to drink?” she asked. “There’s orange juice and sweet tea, or if you’re a coffee drinker, Mav started a pot already. I’ve got some of Mrs. Mooney’s hot cocoa too. Oh, there’s also some Monsters in there.”
“Hey, those are mine,” Ryder groaned, even though warmth lit up his handsome face.
Charlie rolled her eyes and leaned into him. “Oh stop. She can have one.”
Ryder sighed, but a smile spread wide on his lips as he spoke. “Fine.”
I grinned and moved toward the island, grabbing an empty mug. “I’ll have some coffee, thanks.”
At least the two of them seemed normal enough. I felt their worry still, but it wasn’t like last night. I appreciated the semblance of normalcy, though. Tension like this tended to trigger the fight or flight response in me, making me want to run away. It’s what I was good at. What I’d always done.
But while Ryder and Charlie tried to be normal, Cash was sullen, broody. It was so unlike him, and it made me fidget with nervousness.
The room descended into silence once more, the tension so thick I could cut it with a knife. Having poured myself a cup of coffee and mixing in a bit—okay, a ton—of creamer, I made my way to Cash’s side. Dipping my voice down low, I asked, “Has he been like this all mornin’?”
Cash’s hazel eyes settled on me, a what-do-you-think look on his face. “It’s like he’s here, but not,” he murmured quietly.
I held the coffee mug up to my lips and blew out a breath before taking a tentative sip. The first sip of coffee was always my favorite. That shock of heat, of sweetness, of delicious goodness. “What can we do?”
Cash’s face softened and he sighed. “Not much more than what we’re already doin’. He’ll open up when he’s ready.”
I frowned. “What if he doesn’t?”
Cash’s eyes hardened with determination as his gaze shifted to his cousin. If Maverick heard us, he didn’t let on. He worked in silence at the stove. Flipping French toast, scrambling up the eggs, checking the hash browns. “He will. Give him time.”
I took another sip of coffee worry swirling in my chest. I sure as hell hope so.
Cash nudged my shoulder a moment later, an appreciative look on his face. “Thank you, for last night. I can’t imagine how hard that was for you too.”
I shrugged. “I just feel bad. I wish I could do more.”
Cash dipped his head like he knew exactly what I was talking about. He probably did. “You’re doin’ plenty. Thank you.”
I nodded and leaned against the wall beside him. Brandy ambled about the kitchen, going back and forth between checking on me and Maverick. Oh God, I hadn’t even asked if Charlie and Ryder allowed dogs in the house. I know Ryder had a dog, but I hadn’t seen her.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, drawing Charlie and Ryder’s attention, “I didn’t even ask if y’all were okay with Brandy being in here. I can put her in the room or the truck if you want.”
Charlie’s smile was soft as she waved a hand at me. “It’s fine. Dutch is outside in the yard for now. We didn’t want to introduce them without you here. We can let them out together later.”
I sighed in relief. “Thank you.”
Maverick moved away from the stove and started putting things onto platters and plates before bringing them to the kitchen island next to all the drinks.
“Looks like breakfast is ready,” Charlie said, slipping out of her chair and grabbing plates and utensils for everyone.
Maverick hung back, gesturing for everyone to grab food before him.
“Want me to make you a plate?” I asked.
He shook his head, the look on his face grateful though. I almost did it anyway, as Charlie handed me a plate, but in the end, I wasn’t sure what all he wanted. The scent of food filled my nose, making my mouth water. I hadn’t eaten since early yesterday evening, and my stomach growled in answer.
Each of us sat around the dining room table in silence, the tension growing thicker and thicker by the moment.
Maverick was the last to take a seat—at the opposite head of the table from Ryder on either side of Cash and I.
I stole a quick glance at Cash, his gaze burning bright with frustration as he glared at his plate.
The only sound was that of forks and knives scraping against the glass plates. Cash’s shoulders were tense. He wasn’t even eating his food. He just shifted his gaze between Maverick and his plate, the tension rising. Rising. Rising. Until…
“I can’t fuckin’ take this shit anymore. I ain’t eatin’.” And then he was up and storming out of the back door in the kitchen toward the barn.
I watched him from the large bay window as he grabbed his practice rope and started roping the plastic dummy cow. Over and over and over.
I didn’t exactly know why he was so angry, but I felt for him. Maybe he hated the tension as much as I did. Maybe he couldn’t deal with the normalcy of everything after the events of last night. Or maybe he just hated the silence. God knows I did.
Focusing back on my plate, I took a forkful of eggs—they were the only thing I hadn’t tried yet—and bit into them just as a wave of nausea hit me full force.
“Oh, fuck…” I cupped a hand over my mouth and launched out of the chair.
I barely made it to the bathroom before vomiting up all the contents in my stomach.
Okay, that was totally weird.
As disgusting as it was, the taste of ash stuck to the back of my mouth. Maybe I’d inhaled more smoke than I’d realized. I waited for the nausea to pass, a dull headache blossoming as I cleaned up and made my way back to the table.
Maverick eyed me worriedly.
“I’m okay,” I offered. “I think I just ate too quickly and from all the smoke it just left me feelin’ sick.”
There wasn’t really any other way to describe it, and now that I’d thrown my guts up, I felt fine. Completely fine. I didn’t eat much more, though, but settled instead on the coffee I’d made myself.
Charlie met my gaze from across the table. “I wish that was my reasoning for the constant nausea episodes,” she said lightly. “I knew about morning sickness, but I wasn’t expecting it to be such a pain in the ass.”
“Do you get it often?” I asked.