Chapter 15 #2
Ryder didn’t look up from his food as he nodded, but Charlie was the one who answered. “Every fucking day. It’s such a bitch. I can’t eat eggs anymore. They smell so good being made, but the minute they touch my lips…” she made a face. “Nope. Just nope.”
“That doesn’t sound fun. How much longer are you in the first trimester for?”
“A bit. I’m just now eight weeks. I have my first official doctor’s appointment tomorrow.” She glanced at Ryder and smiled. “We’ll get to hear the baby’s heartbeat then.”
The two of them shared a look that could melt even the iciest heart. They were so perfect it was almost sickening.
I smiled, taking a sip of my coffee. “That’s awesome.”
I wondered if I’d ever be in love like that?
If I’d ever look at someone like that? It was hard to imagine being that into someone that I’d settle down and have a kid with them.
I’d never been the type to stay somewhere for too long.
It’s why I didn’t really do exclusive relationships.
Long-term hook ups, sure. But a relationship? Marriage? Babies?
I snuck a glance at Maverick, and something softened in my chest. He was hot and kind and everything good in a man.
We had something between the two of us that made me want to explore more…
but it was too early to know what all would unfold.
He clearly had baggage, and I had my own.
Two broken people together wasn’t always the best combo.
His eyes locked onto mine, and a shiver went down my spine. I wondered what he was thinking. I wanted to ask him, but it’d be useless, and I wasn’t going to try and force words out of him.
He nodded to my plate, a questioning look on his face.
“It’s amazing,” I said softly, understanding what he meant. “I’ve never been a French toast fan before, but yours is delicious.”
He eyed my half-eaten plate like he’d disagree.
“I’m only not eating because I’m afraid to throw up again. Not because of your cooking.” I offered him a reassuring smile, hoping he believed me.
Charlie and Ryder guided most of the conversation throughout the rest of breakfast. They talked and laughed as if nothing had happened last night. I appreciated it, and I think Maverick did too. He’d settled back into his chair, drinking his coffee—blacker than a midnight sky.
I turned to face him more fully as I asked, “How the hell do you drink that shit?”
He eyed me, a questioning look in his eyes as his gaze traveled between me and his cup.
“How do you drink it black?” I clarified, making a face.
Daddy used to drink it like that. Not a drop of sugar, milk, or creamer.
It always reminded me of oil in a cup. Just the thought sent a wave of nausea to my stomach again, but I pushed it down, taking a sip of my sugary drink to wash away the thought.
His lips pulled up into the barest ghost of a smile and he shrugged, taking a large sip from his mug.
I stuck my tongue out and shook off the disgust.
Charlie laughed, tucking her feet up under her and holding her mug in her hands. “I’ve asked him the same thing.”
“It’s disgustin’, isn’t it?” I asked. “Like, it needs some sort of sugar or creamer or milk.”
She laughed, pressing her mug to her lips. “I wouldn’t know. I can’t stand it even with those things in it. I’m a hot cocoa or energy drink kinda girl.”
“Not an energy drink girl anymore,” Ryder added, offering her a stern look. She rolled her eyes in mock annoyance, though a smile toyed on her lips.
We cleared the table not long later, but when I’d silently begun drying some of the dishes, Maverick shooed me out.
I think he’d peopled enough for a bit and needed a moment to himself.
I’d tried to fight him on it, but given up in the end.
Ryder and Charlie went to go get ready to pick up Cason from Charlie’s mom’s house, which left me with nothing to do.
The sound of rope against plastic cut through the painful silence and I remembered Cash. He hadn’t stopped roping since he’d gone outside half an hour ago. With a sigh, I found my boots and made my way outside.
Cash threw with perfect accuracy. He handled his rope with the finesse and comfortability of someone who’d been doing it their whole life. I sat on the bed of an old, falling apart pickup truck that I questioned could even run, watching him in silence for a few moments.
His right hand was stained red, crimson droplets falling to the dirt. He didn’t seem to notice, or maybe he just didn’t care.
“You’re bleedin’,” I called out as he roped the horns once more.
He paused, looking down at his hand for a moment. A surprised frown tugged on his mouth, a grunt of disbelief escaping him. “Well, shit.”
He rolled up his rope and readied for another throw. Completely unfazed.
God, it was almost harder dealing with his silence than Maverick’s. Cash wasn’t quiet. He wasn’t sullen, or broody. He was loud and talkative and the center of attention.
Maybe I should leave. Coming out here had been a mistake. I didn’t really know why I’d decided to check on him anyway. Maybe because he’d gone through this with Maverick before and possibly had some insight on how to navigate this… Though, from the way he was acting, that proved otherwise.
I should go get my things and… and what?
My trailer was gone. All my things were little more than ash. I had Brandy and I had Country Road, but she was back in San Antonio, so it’s not even like I could just hop in my truck and go ride her for a little bit then come back. That would be an all-day excursion.
But anything beat being here right now. Charlie and Ryder were leaving. Maverick wasn’t going to be talking anytime soon, and Cash was even worse company than his cousin.
I was about to hop off the back of the tailgate when he turned to me, cradling his bloody hand. “I’m sorry, I know I’m bein’ a dick…”
I shrugged, glancing toward the house and spotting Maverick working at the kitchen sink before looking back at Cash. “You’re worried about him. I get it.”
I was too.
Cash tossed the rope into the bed of the truck and took up a seat beside me. “I’m worried about how long he ain’t gonna talk for again.”
Well, that settled my question. “It happened before?”
He nodded. “After the accident. He just stopped talkin’.”
“How long did it last?”
Cash blew out a breath, his gaze glazing over a bit as he stared unseeingly ahead. “Almost a year.”
“Fuck,” I breathed. A year? I couldn’t imagine not talking for more than a day…let alone a year.
Cash nodded, rubbing absentmindedly at his hand.
“What pulled him out of it?” I asked.
“I ain’t really sure,” he said with a shrug. “I think a lotta different shit played into it, ya know…” A soft smile came to his lips, that glassy look in his gaze deepening. “I remember his first words, though.”
I smiled, turning towards him. “Tell me about it?”
I got the feeling he needed to talk about it as much as I wanted to hear it. Brandy hopped up beside me and I began petting her absentmindedly.
“It was the weekend of my eighth birthday. We were at a youth rodeo in…well, I guess it don’t matter where.
Some kids in his age group were bullyin’ him.
Particularly this one asshat.” Cash’s lip curled up into a snarl.
“Bodi fucking Johnson…shithead couldn’t rope then, and he sure as shit can’t rope now. ”
My lips quirked up. I knew the guy. He was an arrogant asshat.
He waved a hand through the air. “Anyway, that ain’t the point.
Him and his dumbshit friends were pickin’ on Mav.
Callin’ him simple and shit cuz he didn’t talk.
” Cash shook his head, rubbing at his stubbled jaw with his free hand.
“Mav was like four years older than me and didn’t need no help standin’ up for himself, but I just remember hearin’ the things they were sayin’ and seein’ red.
I went after Bodi. Lost my shit completely. ”
“Really?”
A flicker of the Cash I knew blossomed in the shit-eating grin that spread across his face. His eyes lit up, making them glow almost a burnt gold. “Fuck yeah, I bit him and everythin’.”
I scoffed, an incredulous laugh escaping me. “You bit him?”
“Sure as shit did.” He nodded, that grin pulling wider.
“Oh my God.” I giggled. “So, what happened next?”
“Well, Bodi and his fuckin’ friends were a hell of a lot bigger, so it wasn’t too long ‘til I was gettin’ the absolute piss kicked outta me…but then Mav stepped in.”
Cash’s smile pulled wider, and it was easy to see why girls fell for him as quickly and as hard as they did.
Cash Mooney had a magnetism about him that reminded me of a celebrity.
That poise and confidence and just…debonair attitude.
“Maverick knocked Bodi out cold with one swing. Just…boom. Lights out. His friends went runnin’ to tell on us, so we got outta there like bats outta hell.
We hid in the back of Dad’s horse trailer. ”
He rubbed at his bleeding callouses even as that smile still loomed on his lips.
“I remember Mav was pacing back and forth—he does that when he’s stressed out—hands on his head…
I remember tellin’ him what he’d done was awesome, and he’d just looked at me in that way of his.
You know, with a whole bunch of judgment in his eyes…
And then he said, ‘you’re a fuckin’ idiot you know that? ’”
Laughter bubbled up out of my throat, even as tears sprang in my eyes. I couldn’t help it. I didn’t even know why I was crying really, but I couldn’t stop the tears from welling.
Cash huffed a laugh. “Shit…are you cryin’?”
“No!” I said, wiping the proof from my cheeks. “Maybe…okay, yes.”
“Why?” he asked with a chuckle.
I sniffled. “I don’t even know. I can just completely see Mav sayin’ that to you. The look he gives you. The way he said it. And… I don’t know the way you talk about him, it’s…it’s really sweet. You guys are more like brothers than cousins.”
“We might have different parents, but he’s my brother at the end of the day.”