Chapter 18 Mackenzie #2
I glanced out the window and laughed when I saw a bright, perfectly full moon in the sky above us. “I better get inside. Thanks for taking my mind off things tonight.”
“Don’t thank me. Thank Dominic,” she replied with a grin. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”
“Yep, I’ll be the one hobbling through the halls with hips that no longer remember how to move from side to side.”
I waved as I got out of the car and Jaz drove away. Glancing up at the moon again, I wished a little of its wisdom could rub off on my dad too. When I got inside, I headed straight to my room, making sure to stay quiet as I made my way past his office.
Our moving boxes had finally arrived this week, but mine were still piled in the corner of my room.
I didn’t feel ready to unpack them yet, and the room looked more like a storage shed than a bedroom.
I hadn’t made much progress on my mural since I’d started playing hockey either.
But the mountains were almost done and the soft shade of blue I’d chosen for them made me smile every time I saw it.
As soon as I slumped my bag on the floor, Tessa appeared at the door.
“How was hula hooping?” she asked.
“Fun, but I’m pretty tired.”
“I’m not surprised; you’ve barely been home this week.”
A part of me wanted to confide in my stepmom. She was such a good listener, and I knew she’d be supportive. But I couldn’t risk my dad finding out what I was doing each morning.
“I just really need to get in better shape for hockey,” I said. “It’s hard work, but I like hanging out with Jaz too.”
Tessa smiled. “Seems like you two are getting along well.”
I rolled my eyes. “Is it really that difficult to imagine I made a friend?”
“No, not at all. I’m just happy you’re settling in here. I know how tough moving can be.”
I simply gave her a tight smile in response.
“Do you want some dinner?” she continued. “I made grilled cheese and tomato soup.”
“No, I’m okay, thanks. I’m not that hungry.”
Tessa sighed. “You’re going to have to talk to your dad eventually.”
Apparently, she could see right through my excuses. “Maybe you should tell him that. He’s the one that’s angry.”
“He’s just worried about you.”
“Yeah, well, I’m old enough that I don’t need my dad worrying about me anymore.”
“I know,” she said quietly. After a small pause she added, “I’ll bring you a tray, in case you get hungry.”
When she left the room, I grabbed my headphones and my paints.
I knew I should be resting, but I wanted to work on my mural.
There was something uniquely comforting about music blaring in your ears so loudly it blocked out the rest of the world.
Tessa always said she could feel the teenage angst radiating from me whenever she overheard what I was listening to.
I much preferred my angsty music to the boppy stuff she always insisted on playing in the car.
I caught movement from the corner of my eye and started to wave Tessa away. “It’s okay, I’m not—” I stopped when I realized it was my dad standing in the door.
Guess I couldn’t avoid him, after all. This was the first time he’d sought me out in days. Could there be a chance he was finally willing to make peace?
I swallowed and removed my headphones.
“It’s looking good,” Dad said, nodding at the art on my wall. “But wouldn’t you be better working on your portfolio pieces? Can’t exactly submit a wall to art schools…”
Why was it that whenever my father took an interest in what I was doing, he always found something to criticize?
“Can I help you with something?” I asked, hoping he’d keep his visit as short as possible.
“Max is playing tonight. I thought you might like to come watch the game with Tess and me.”
“I can watch it up here.”
He nodded but stepped further into the room. His invitation to watch the game must have just been an excuse to come up here.
“You know, Mackenzie,” he started. “We’ve got another big game this weekend.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“The Chargers are one of the best teams in our division.”
“Okay…”
“Well, I just wanted to let you know that no one will think less of you if you decide to sit this one out.”
And there it was; the real reason my dad was here. I carefully put down my paintbrush as I turned to glare at him. “You’re trying to make me quit hockey again?”
“You’re not ready, Mackenzie. You’ve never played competitive games like this before.”
“And whose fault is that?”
He let out a short sigh but otherwise ignored my comment. “I know how much you and Max played together. But this is different. Surely you realize that.”
“What I realize is that you don’t support me. That you probably never will. You pretend you’re giving me a chance, but you’re setting me up to fail all so you can say you gave the girl a shot, but she simply wasn’t good enough.”
“Mackenzie, I’m just—”
“Just what? Just trying to protect me?” I was getting so tired of that argument.
He paused, and for a moment I thought he might try a different approach, give me another tenuous explanation for why hockey was off limits for me and me alone. But eventually he just nodded.
“I might not be as big or as strong as the boys,” I continued. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t have as much potential. You need to stop thinking about me as your daughter and start treating me like one of your players.”
“But you are my daughter, and it’s—”
I didn’t want to hear any more, so I cut him off.
“You gave me three games to prove myself. If you want to go back on your word, fine, you can cut me. But I’m not quitting. I still have two games left. Until then, perhaps you should go back to giving me the silent treatment.”
Returning to my mural, I pulled my headphones over my ears. I turned the volume up even louder than before and allowed the music to scream into the void for me.