Chapter 11 #2
Right, because who would want a career and independence? I thought but didn’t say out loud. I was supposed to be getting on everyone's good side but so far I had been doing a terrible job. I shook my head and looked down at my dough. It seemed to be a lot smaller than theirs. “Is this right?”
“It looks perfect.” Allie smiled, placing a hand on my shoulder. I shrugged it off.
“How many of these do we need to make anyway?”
“Just four,” Dinah said, chopping cucumbers with expert precision.
“Why four?”
“For our mates.” This was Lucy again.
“They can’t make their own lunch?”
“Of course, but food tastes better coming from your mate. Especially if they made it for you themselves,” Allie said with a coy grin.
I thought of the porridge, the apple, the stew…it had all tasted incredible. My fists clenched at the idea of letting Kole feed me again. It felt like letting him in and I didn’t want him in. I wanted him as far away from me as possible.
“Is this another bullshit bonding thing?” I looked at Dinah. “You want me to make him lunch to give us the warm fuzzies?”
“Yes, but it has the added benefit of calming Kole’s wolf,” she answered. “After yesterday it seemed like a good idea.” She had a point. No matter how much I hated the idea of giving Kole any kind of pleasure, self-preservation was smart.
“You haven’t noticed how much better food tasted when Kole fed you?” Allie asked.
“Not really,” I lied.
“You will. Your mate can make anything taste good.”
“Really? So I could give Kole shit on a stick and he’d eat it?”
Konnor burst out laughing. Allie let out a nervous giggle.
“I think the Alpha would probably do anything for you,” Lucy said as she set the oven to preheat.
“Except let me go,” I muttered.
“Why would you want to go?”
“That’s a joke, right?” I scowled at her and both of them seemed to shrink, ducking their heads slightly. Dinah eyed me, a silent reprimand. I was doing a really bad job of earning their trust.
“I can’t understand how difficult this is for you,” Allie said. “Ever since I was little, all I wanted was a mate and when mine turned out to be a Gamma, I felt so lucky. Like every dream I’d ever had was coming true. What did you dream of growing up?”
“Like I told Dinah yesterday, freedom.”
“And you think we’re stealing that away from you?” she asked, her dark eyes searching for friendship. She was trying so hard to bond with me it was making me sick.
“You are.”
“No, you still have your freedom.”
I wanted to strangle this woman. My fists clenched with the urge. “Yeah? Great! I’ll just be on my way then, shall I?”
“Perhaps you could tell us what’s concerning you most,” Dinah cut in, ever the diplomat. Unlike Allie and Lucy, she was unmoved by my outburst. I shouldn’t retaliate. I needed to calm down, get back to playing nice, but suddenly, as if a dam had burst, everything came pouring out of me.
“I don’t want to be trapped here! I don’t want to be stuck, bound to that animal my whole life.
I want to travel the world. I want to swim with sharks and ride dirt bikes at 100 miles an hour.
I want to do a million things and not one of them involves baking bread like we’re stuck in a 1950s time warp.
I don’t want to be tied to creatures that think abducting people is okay.
You’re trying to be my friend but smiling at me isn’t going to make me forget that you’re going stand by and watch while that freak rapes me. You can’t be my gaoler and my friend.”
Dinah sighed and stood. “This isn’t what we want either.”
“Then let me go. Please.” I was begging and I hated myself for it.
“My son will go insane and our lands will be lost. My family will be killed.”
“So? You said you’d die for me, remember? ‘Everyone in this pack would die for you.’ You said it.”
“If your life was on the line, yes, but it isn’t.
” Dinah held up a hand, stopping me from interrupting her.
“Your dignity perhaps and maybe your happiness, at least for now, but you’ll be alive.
That’s what I’m trying to do, keep my pack, my family and you, alive.
I’m sorry, but this is bigger than you.”
It always was. My whole life, there was always someone more important than me, always someone that my needs had to be sacrificed for. I grabbed a finished salad bowl. Kole would have to make do with this for lunch. I was done with these women.
“Wait,” Allie grabbed my arm, desperate eyes flashing between Dinah and I, “you said we could spend some time with her. You said…” Her eyes fixed back on me, her fingers dug into my arm.
What was wrong with this woman? “Please stay. Just, please let me sit with you for a while, I won’t even talk if you don’t want me to?—”
“Allie…” Lucy tugged on her arm but Allie jerked away.
“No! I’ve waited for so long, I?—”
“What’s going on?” I turned on Dinah, demanding an explanation. But she didn’t need to give me one. I figured it out all by myself. This visit was just one big ruse to use me as a fertility boost. They were using me. My body.
“Iona, it’s not what you think. I really did want to give you a break from Kole and this really will help his wolf.”
“Then why are they here? They didn’t need to be here for this,” I snapped but she didn’t flinch.
“Because the Beta and Gamma need to continue their lines. If Lucy and Allie are pregnant, their mates will become stronger to protect them and we need as much strength as we can get right now. I’m sorry. As I said, this is all bigger than you.”
“I guess that kindred spirits thing was all just bullshit, right?”
“Iona—” Before she could finish, my temper snapped and the salad bowl went flying at her head, missing by barely an inch.
“Please…” Allie inched closer again and this time, I’d had it. The knife she’d used was right there and I grabbed it, but before I could get it to her throat, Konnor was there, hugging me from behind and grabbing my wrist. He squeezed and immediately I let go.
“Take your hands off me!”
He did, without hesitation. Backing off. All four of them stared at me, waiting for my next move. I looked at Dinah, the liar who’d said we were cut from the same cloth.
“Fuck you,” I spat and stalked out of there.
“Luna.” Konnor caught up to me, taking my arm. I wrenched it away from him, scowling when I saw what he had in his hands. Those goddamned cuffs.
“Fuck you too.” Before he could grab me, I spun, heading in the only direction I knew he would let me go in.
I never thought I’d say this, but I was relieved to be back in Kole’s office. I found him with company. Marcus and Carrick gave me a respectful nod as I stepped in, slamming the door behind me. Kole ran his eyes over me.
“Where are your cuffs?”
I scowled at him. “Konnor has them.”
“Where’s my lunch?”
“I threw it at your mother for using me as some sort of baby boost for their mates.” I pointed at the Beta and Gamma. Kole glanced at Marcus and Carrick, both wearing confused expressions.
“We didn’t know.” Marcus looked at me. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
I glared at them. “You’re fucking right it won’t.”
“Enough,” Kole snapped at me. “Konnor,” he called and his brother entered immediately, “next time you have charge of my mate, you won’t let her wander unbound.”
“I’m sorry, Alpha. She was upset and I just thought?—”
“I don’t care what you thought, I care what I told you.” Konnor paused, looking nervous. “Cuff her and return her to the kitchen.”
“Are you kidding? I’m not going back down there so they can?—”
“You can walk or you can be dragged.” He stepped into my space, towering over me.
That familiar tension hummed between us, threading through my body like lust spun silk.
With gritted teeth, he returned his attention to Konnor.
“She can return with our lunch when it’s ready.
If she’s rude or disrespectful in any way to the other females, muzzle her.
” He narrowed his eyes on me. “I warned you, Iona. I expect a certain standard of behaviour from you and I will hold you to that line.”
My fists clenched, my teeth gritted as I stared him down. I hated him and the look on his face told me he knew it. I wanted to scream and cry and run away but I couldn’t. Marcus and Carrick stood a pair of silent vigils, eyes diplomatically averted.
“Luna…” Konnor hovered behind me and I knew once again I had no choice. I gave him my wrists and didn’t flinch as he snapped the cuffs back into place. Without another look at Kole, I followed Konnor out of the office.
I dragged my feet on the walk back to the kitchen, rage boiling in my stomach at being forced to allow those women near me. It sickened me that they could benefit from my imprisonment, my fear. For once, Konnor was silent as we walked. I was grateful for it.
I was surprised to find the kitchen empty except for Dinah.
“I sent Allie and Lucy away,” she said, answering my unspoken question.
“They’ll be back in a while when the bread is finished.
Please sit. We can talk or not talk while I finish up here.
” The salad was finished, and strips of chicken lay in front of her as she put together fixings for sandwiches.
The kitchen was full of the scent of baking bread.
Reluctantly, I sat and she put a fresh cup of tea in front of me.
“So, what’s the punishment for threatening the Gamma’s mate with a knife? Another night in the hole?”
She laughed. “I think we can keep that between us girls, don’t you?”
“I’m not a girl,” Konnor piped up.
“You’ll do as you're told.” She eyed her son, then turned back to me.
“I’m sorry, Iona. Allie has been struggling.
I thought spending time with you would calm her and you would never know.
I shouldn’t have taken advantage. It won’t happen again.
” Her apology felt strange, causing an unease in my chest. Being wronged wasn’t new to me. Being apologised to was.
I nodded, unsure what to say. She went back to cutting chicken strips and we spent a few moments in silence.