Chapter 14
I still don’t understand why I can’t be with Tessi and guard her. But perhaps it is that I hate the idea that makes me think it is ill-founded.
She does make me feel out of control. And that isn’t good if I’m supposed to keep her safe and be monitoring our surroundings.
Viriden steps closer to me. “If she carries a child they consider a threat, or they believe is the one they search for, they could cut out the threat or throw her in an isolated cell somewhere you’ll never find her.
They will take the child when it is born and dispose of her.
That is why Tessi’s mother returned to Earth to have her. ”
I think Viriden is reading my mind, or at least very good at reading emotions.
“Look, Zorin… The empire likely knows she was touched by the ancient ones. To Nebs, it doesn’t matter what could be or what is.
They act on their beliefs. So whatever story they tell themselves will be what they act on.
And that is unpredictable. Either way, it won’t end well for Tessi.
We must ensure she is a single being if they get their hands on her. I have…seen it.”
Viriden’s light flickers, even if it is only momentary.
“Sir?”
He braces his hands on his hips, curls his lips inward, and hurries out of the room. I’m not certain, but I think Viriden has personal experience with the situation.
I slump down beside Tessi’s bed and stare at her smooth face. My life just got a lot more complicated. I’m not surprised she’s special like Jezza, carrying an extra gift and in need of protection. It is why Jezza chose Azrim. She believed he could protect her.
I can’t fail Tessi.
My hope of finding a mate was foolish and naive. I’ve never felt the shift like this before. Even now, the slightest brush of my skin over hers makes a subtle ripple of short fur turn to something dark, like my Shifter knows it’s her that I touch.
The nurse returns and assures me she’ll be in good hands. “Viriden wants you in the conference room down the hall with the others.”
But I don’t feel right leaving her side.
“I’m watching.”
“Shit.” I cringe as Onidus speaks from the other side of the bed. I can’t see him, except for a lightly warped mirage. “Have you been standing in here the whole time?”
“Usually. The things I’ve seen…”
He reveals his glowing eyes to me. “I will guard your female, Zorin. You saved my life when I was a young, dumb Ion. You have earned my eternal respect for that.”
He steps back and hides himself again.
I reluctantly get up and follow the path Viriden took. He waits for me in the hallway outside a conference room. The way he paces and rubs the back of his neck like he’s in pain concerns me.
When he sees me, he starts for the room.
“Sir.”
He pauses, cocks his jaw to one side and sniffles hard. “I’m good.”
“No you’re not. You’re shoving it deep enough that it’s affecting your Luminescence.”
Viriden faces me. “It doesn’t matter how I feel, just that I hold my family together. You understand that, don’t you?”
“Yes, but I can’t hold anyone else together if I am broken.”
Viriden pats me on the shoulder. “A black hole has no right to tell a nova it is dim. You are more than broken, Zorin. I read the entire report on your situation, thanks to your lieutenant.”
He has seen through my apathetic mask to my emptiness.
“Some of us just heal by helping others and protecting them from our kind of pain.” Viriden motions to the conference room.
I step inside, and Viriden follows. I think he understands better than most how hard I’m trying.
Davarok lifts his hands as if to ask, what the fuck is going on?
“Tessi needs to stay in the game with Zorin,” Viriden says.
“What?” I turn to him. “No. We need to get her somewhere safer.”
He holds up a finger. “We need to avoid causing intergalactic panic. Allies know the Myndrous program has been implemented on several worlds.”
“What do they want Zorin’s mate for?” Rorsar asks.
“She’s not mine,” I say, hoping I’m hiding the bitterness and disappointment in my voice. But when Kren frowns, I don’t think I am.
“It’s not just Tessi,” Viriden says. “There are several individuals they are hunting. We have not found the pattern yet, but there are other reports of Myndrous on various worlds taking what the public thinks are random individuals. But every time we speak with those around them, we find out that they were different in some way. Powerful.”
“But Tessi’s just human,” Rorsar replies. “Right?”
Viriden chews his lip and glances at a security guard. “Tessi has the most security here. We may need to leave to defend your world. There has been a lot of activity on Mindor, so we need you all to protect her.”
“I can’t believe they’re back already,” Ignus remarks. “I thought for sure we kicked their asses with the Amphirans and Drathious.”
Viriden nods. “We all did. But they didn’t get what they wanted. It looks like they’re still hunting for the one who can sway the war in their favor.”
Davarok tucks a knee up to his chest where he sits on the table, completely disrespecting Viriden’s space as he casually hooks an arm over it. “What the fuck do they think she is? A god? She’s human. She can’t possibly have anything terrifying or powerful hidden in that little body.”
She has power over me already.
I lean back against the wall, just to stimulate my mind with something else so I don’t succumb to the urge to storm out of the room and back to her side. Being without her is already gnawing at me.
“Do not underestimate humans,” Viriden says.
“I have seen them do amazing things without skills like ours. They are far more creative and resilient than you can imagine. But we’re still not sure Tessi is the one they want.
Many have been taken. But we don’t have more specifics.
And our undercover agent paid the ultimate price to report that.
“Please coordinate with Abr security to ensure she can complete her race. They are very strict on continued participation at all costs, so it doesn’t raise questions. That means you too, Zorin. Just wear your armor under your race suit.”
The nurse leans into the room. “She’s going to be fine, but Ohni has requested she be moved back to her quarters.”
“Have you tested her for anomalies yet?” Viriden asks.
“No. I would prefer to do that when she is coherent.”
Viriden looks to me and hooks a thumb over his shoulder.
“Take Onidus and another with you to stand guard, one in her room, two outside at all times. Portals can happen in very small spaces. We’re going to assist Abr with some anti-Denarso and anti-Neb shielding adjustments.
And I have a meeting with the federation to get to.
But keep your coms on. We need to stay in touch. ”
“Yes, sir,” we reply in unison.
“What about the one who tranqued her?” I ask.
Viriden motions to us. “Look into it. They could be working with Nebs or just solo doing a job for hire.”
“Already requested and received video footage,” Ignus says. “Kren and I will dissect it.”
“What am I? Chopped roadkill?” Davarok asks.
Marne slaps him in the back of the head. “You, furry fleabag, are on patrol with Esrynne.”
“Don’t stick me with Asshole. Last time she put burrs in my armor. I had burrs in my fur for weeks.”
“Kept you in line, didn’t it?” Esrynne asks, arching a slender brow. “Didn’t have time to goof around or get distracted by scents.”
Rorsar tosses me an ear com and volunteers to guard with Onidus as we leave the conference room.
“You just want to gawk at human females,” Davarok snorts.
Rorsar snarls back. “No, you badgerbiter. Zorin has his own healing to do. I can help Tessi if he needs a break.”
Davarok huffs and eyes Esrynne like being stuck with her is the worst job in the universe. He slowly draws another stick of jerky out of a pocket, taunting her, while she watches with mild disgust. Then he whips it out, slaps her in the face with it, and runs away.
“You dirty little shit!” Esrynne charges after him.
Marne steps forward. “I apologize, General Viriden. They are cousins. If they get out of hand, they will only hurt each other.”
“Just…not on my ship, please.” Viriden motions toward the ramp.
“Yes, sir.” Marne salutes him with a rap of his claws to his chest and hustles after Esrynne and Davarok.
“A bit unruly still,” Viriden remarks to me.
“We are unfortunately the better behaved of our kind.”
A corner of his mouth curls. “I’m aware. Please heed what I said.”
“Yes, sir.”
I walk into the medical bay where Tessi is, slide my arms under her, and gather her warm body against my chest. She grunts softly, like she’s in pain. Guiding her head to my shoulder, I find a sense of purpose I have not had in a long time.
The nurse stops me as I’m about to leave. “Bring her back tomorrow so we can test her and address what’s going on. I imagine it’s going to be a shock. Try to let her down easily.”
“Understood.”
I carry her out of the ship and down the ramp, following directions on my wristband to her room while Rorsar stays close. I’m certain Onidus is with us. I’ve started to pick up his scent despite his aural mask.
A female Abr security guard team greets us at the entrance to the wing for racers with service animals. The squad leader steps forward. “I’m not going to stay I agree with this because she can’t advocate for herself, but the room’s AI will alert us if you try anything.”
I won’t hurt her. That is that last thing I want to do. “I’m in no condition to take her. I have my own healing to do.”
“We will be watching, anyway. Have you met Radar?”
“No.”
She hums a note in thought. “This is going to be fun. Allia is busy preparing the creatures for the tour this week, so she is unavailable.”
Rorsar steps forward. “I am familiar with dogs. We will be fine.”
She looks him over, then Tessi and me as we step up to her door. “I will watch from the guard post. Do anything I don’t like…”
Rorsar shows her his Federation Medic badge. “Is that good enough?”
She looks at it, gives him a lustful once over, then leads her team down the hallway.
Rorsar unlocks the door to Tessi’s room, unphased by her gesture.
“You good, brother?”
“Fine,” he mutters.
As the door cracks open, I get a whiff of the dog’s scent. He smells like Tessi, mixed with grass, and the warm notes of clean fur.
I kneel down and lower Tessi so that he will not see me as aggressive.
A dark snout peeks out. The dog is about the size of a small teenage Shifter, covered in black fur like Azrim, but without the brindle pattern. He glances warily between me and Rorsar with amber eyes, and eases past Tessi to a vacant area of the hallway where he sniffs the floor.
“Hello, buddy,” a quiet voice resonates through the air.
Radar wags his tail once then circles us to address Tessi. He sniffs her face, licks it, then looks up at me.
“She’s alright. Just tired.” I slowly rise to my feet, hoping to avoid spooking the dog, and walk into the room.
I lay Tessi on her bed and tuck her gently under the covers. Radar jumps up and curls himself beside her head, right where I was hoping to lay down.
It’s like the universe is telling me no. And I hate it. But I can’t bring myself to move Radar or Tessi. He is clearly used to sleeping with her, and their bond has endured more cold nights than Tessi and I have.
The door closes behind me and Rorsar eases his gear bags down. “Now that she’s safe, I need to address your wounds the traditional way so they’ll seal by tomorrow.”
I slump into the chair at Tessi’s desk and just watch her sleep. “Do whatever you have to. I’ve got more important things on my mind.”
He pulls out a jar of paste that will draw my wounds shut overnight and taps my chest armor. I take everything off but don’t look away from where Radar lies with her. He faces away from her, watching her back.
An instinct like that is not simply trained into Mindorans. It is learned by soldiers in the field, my M-pack, during times when it was necessary to survive with sleeping rotations.
Rorsar rips off all the Mindoran patches the doctor applied, proving they still don’t quite know how to handle our kind.
The paste Rorsar slathers deep into every cut burns, but it doesn’t touch the coldness in my chest as my Shifter and I look at the female who makes us feel at peace, the one we need not just to complete us but to complete our pack and reunite our family.
There will not be another. Tessi is it. And we can’t have her.
“Zorin.” Rorsar rests a hand atop my shoulder. “I can hear your heart racing. Your Shifter is upset.”
“I can’t have anything I want. Did the goddess curse us?”
Rorsar leans back against the desk and crosses his arms. “I don’t know if I would call our powers a curse. But everything else does seem to feel that way.”
He has lost his family too, like most of the members of our M-pack. Even with his superspeed and exceptional agility, he could not save his mate.
“Sometimes, brother,” he quietly says. “The reason, I think, that we do not see the good in the world is because we are the good.” He finishes my back, arms, and chest, then moves to my legs.
The paste thrusts scorching pangs into my flesh, but I dare not flinch when Rorsar works, or he will be rougher about it simply to remind me that things could be worse.
“We save others. We fight when no one else will. Mindor continues because of what we do.”
“I am just tired. I feel like the only thing I have left is to keep going. I am out of hope, faith, desire...”
“You’re not alone.”
When Rorsar gets up, I thank him. “How are you holding up?”
“Fine.”
I twist my tight neck and grumble when it pops. “We both know that’s Luna shit.”
“Like you said, sometimes all we have left is to simply keep going.” Rorsar motions to the sofa. “Rest. Onidus and I will guard. You can confront reality tomorrow.”
Rorsar packs up his things and walks out. When I get up, Radar lifts his head.
I want to walk to Tessi, stare at her beautiful face until I fall asleep, but I don’t sense that Radar will let me. And I don’t want any commotion to wake her. So I lie back on the sofa and put my feet up on the armrest because I am too tall to fit between them.
I take one more look at Tessi before the exhaustion hits me, and I can’t keep my eyes open. I have too much healing to do to stay awake any longer. And yet, I fight it. Deep down, I fear that when the morning comes, she will be taken from me like everything else.