Chapter 33 #3
I couldn’t quite come to terms with the fact that he was a police officer. There was nothing different about him. He was still intense, focused, decisive and protective. He still didn’t speak much, and he seemed intent on taking us somewhere.
Nothing that had happened today made sense, and I was questioning everything that had happened to us in the past, but my body didn’t care. My body still trusted him. I felt instantly relaxed and safe in his presence, and I was swimming in an overwhelming sense of relief.
And my stupid heart felt the same happy joy that it did whenever we were together. That hadn’t changed, even though, when I looked over at him, I wondered if I knew this man at all.
“Why don’t you try and get some sleep?” he looked over at me.
“I could never sleep,” I told him, even as I felt the heavy tug of exhaustion on my eyelids. “I can help keep you awake.”
“I’m not tired, but you look like you need to crash for a bit.”
I had too many questions, but my body was refusing to stay awake.
“You’re safe, Mila,” he said softly.
I hadn’t felt safe since they had broken into the house and started arresting everyone.
I looked over at Axel, with his bleeding face and cut knuckles. He was driving a strange car on an unknown highway. And I had no idea where we were going.
But I knew I was safe.
Another wave of fatigue crashed over me, and I didn’t know how to fight it. “Okay.”
When I woke up, we were sitting in front of the departure area of some airport. I wasn’t sure which one. Axel sat in the driver’s seat, studying me.
“Where are we?” My voice sounded like rust.
“SeaTac airport.”
“Seattle?” I sat up a little straighter, feeling stiff and cold. “What time is it?”
“Just after four in the morning.”
I looked at him closer. He’d cleaned up and changed clothes. “Are we going home?”
He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a long envelope. “Inside is your passport, some money and a ticket.”
I didn’t understand what he was telling me. “Where are we going?”
“I’ve bought you a flight to Vancouver that leaves in just over three hours.”
“You’re coming too, right?” I confirmed.
His expression was neutral, but he avoided my gaze. “Viktor is the one who has Bandit. He’ll be waiting for you at the airport when you arrive.”
“What about you?” I could hear the panic in my voice.
“Mila,” he soothed, “listen to me. You’re going to have to do this alone.”
Suddenly I didn’t care that he was a cop or that he had lied to me about our entire marriage. I didn’t care that I didn’t know if he loved me. Now, in this moment, when I realized he was sending me on my way, he was just Axel.
The man I loved.
And I didn’t want to go without him.
I shook my head slowly, trying not to panic. “No. I don’t want to go without you. Why can’t I travel with you?”
“It’s safer this way.”
Helpless, I stared at him, trying to determine if he was trying to get rid of me, or if he actually thought this plan was safer. But I saw the regret in his gaze, and I immediately guessed why. “You’re leaving. You’re going back to Russia.”
He looked at me with reluctance. “Not by choice.”
“Then just stay with me.”
“I need to get some things sorted first.”
Did that mean he was coming back for me? “How long will that take?”
“Mila.” He said my name with so much gravity that I wanted to cry. “I don’t have any choice. I have to leave, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to come back.”
“Then why are you going back there?”
“I have to face the consequences of my actions.”
I still couldn’t comprehend the sacrifice he was suggesting. My voice was so small. “Are you even going to try to come back to Canada?”
He took his time answering. “I don’t think they’ll let me, but I’ll try.”
I didn’t know who they were. “Can I come with you instead? I’d rather be with you.”
He gave me a smile that was filled with regret. “That’s not possible.”
I felt a lone tear streak down my cheek. I didn’t want to be asking these questions, but I couldn’t seem to stop. “Did it mean something?”
Emotions I’d never seen flitted across his expression. “It meant more than it should have. It was more than I deserved.” He reached out and wiped the tear from my cheek with his thumb. “The important thing is that you’re free now.”
“I don’t want to be free. Not from you.”
“I need you to go live your life, Mila. Do you understand that? I need you to do that for me.”
I shook my head, crying for real now. “I don’t want to. Why do we have to be apart?”
“Promise me.”
“I don’t like this,” I told him through my tears. “This feels like goodbye.”
“I need you to treat this like it’s goodbye.”
I was sobbing at this point, but between feeling rejected and pushed away, I didn’t know what else to do other than get out of the vehicle.
I stood by the open passenger door and looked at his bruised face. “Was any of it real?”
“Yes.”
“How? What was real to you?”
He was about to speak, but then a taxi pulled up behind us and blasted his horn.
He went into Axel mode and completely shut down. And I knew this was the end.
“You have to go,” he said gently.
“I’m going to miss you,” I blurted, but my words were drowned out by another blast from the taxi.
I started to cry harder before shutting the door. I stood and watched as he slowly pulled out into the lane, and then there was nothing but the red of his taillights driving away from me.