1. Chapter One
Chapter one
“I ’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry,” Melody wailed.
Fox woke up in a rush, his hand reaching out and catching nothing but air as he shouted, “Come back.” The words he should have said all those years ago. Because when she left, all the joy she’d brought into his world went with her.
A hand clamped onto his shoulder. “Man, you’ve got to stop falling asleep at your desk.” Dean set a cup of steaming black coffee in front of him.
Fox dug the heels of his hands into his tired, scratchy eyes. “What time is it?”
“Time to put an end to this shit and get the fuck out of here. This place is messing with your head.”
Fox had been back in Blackrock Falls for several weeks and the memories—nightmares, really—made him feel like that lost and broken boy all over again. He didn’t like the feeling. In fact, he’d worked damn hard to make something of himself under some really tough circumstances. Six different foster homes, two group homes, several school transfers, aging out of the system, and feeling abandoned and inconsequential yet again.
But he’d done one thing right. The only thing he had control over in his life. He took his education seriously. It was the one piece of advice he’d received that made sense to him. The smarter you are, the better you’ll do in life. Do well in school, you’ll get a better job. You’ll make more money.
He didn’t rely on anyone. After all, he’d just been passing through those foster homes. Always a guest. Never family.
He didn’t have one of those. Not anymore.
Even if he was back in this town to take care of his sick mother.
Well, that was his excuse to come.
Tanya hadn’t changed much from what he remembered. She was still sad, lonely, angry, bitter, and now dying of cancer. She didn’t have much time left. She used that to guilt him into coming.
He got no apologies from her. Barely a kind word. Though she did seem happy to hear that he’d made something of himself and he was doing okay.
Well, better than okay.
Dad had died years ago in a bar fight after getting out of prison early. Overcrowding. He’d picked on someone smaller and someone bigger came along and stopped him. Shocker. Nope.
Not even a tiny bit surprising given what Fox remembered about his nightmarish childhood.
Once he was away, he had feared they would come for him. Best day of his life, the day the social worker showed up to tell him his dad was dead. First day he could remember taking a deep breath and feeling like a weight had been lifted. He had actually slept the whole night through and woke up feeling like everything was different. Better.
He’d woken up that morning thinking maybe he could finally go back and see Melody again. It was safe now. He was safe. And so was she. But he had been fourteen and living in another part of the state. He didn’t have any way to get to her. Running away from his foster home would only get him into trouble. And he’d learned, the less trouble he got into the better things went for him.
Instead of going to her, he had reminded himself twenty times a day about the promise he intended to keep. Melody is out there. You’ll see her again. You’ll make things right.
Now that he was back in town, he’d snuck into the bar where she worked to catch glimpses of her, but he hadn’t approached her and made things right. Not yet. But soon.
“You’re doing it again.” Dean shook his head and studied the security camera feeds he’d installed yesterday outside of the building.
A building Fox bought two months ago when he moved back to town after a social worker at the hospital where his mother was being treated tracked him down to tell him about Tanya.
He never called her Mom anymore. She didn’t deserve that title.
That social worker hadn’t done him any favors by finding him. In fact, she’d been so enthusiastic about her success, she’d told his mom everything about his new life.
He’d had some good luck and learned the hard way that not every good thing was a blessing. It could also be a curse. He tried to keep his good fortune a secret because he’d learned everyone wanted something from him.
Like his mom. She thought his success was her ticket to easy street. What was his, should be shared with her. Family. Why? Because she gave birth to him, then treated him like a burden and turned her back on him time and time again when he needed her the most.
Anger, old and new, roiled in his gut.
“Dude! Get out of your head.” Dean picked up the coffee mug and held it inches from Fox’s face. “Drink. Wake up. We have shit to do.”
Fox took the mug and downed a quarter of it, then tried to focus on the screen in front of him and the lesson plans he was putting together for the computer class he was teaching later that day.
“You should not have come back here. This place…it makes you sad.”
This place and the memories it held made him angry. And, okay, sad. The kid who left here still lived inside him, and he hated it here.
But he remembered something—someone—good.
That little brat inside him had lashed out and been mean to her. He’d made her cry. He told her he hated her. And then he’d never seen her again.
Fox relived that nightmare night after night.
His biggest regret.
The thing he wished he could take back and couldn’t.
Maybe she didn’t remember. He did. And he hated himself for saying it and pushing her away like that when she was the only one who ever really cared about him.
Well, he had Dean and Max now. When Fox’s life changed in an instant and he needed help, he called them, the best friends he’d made in foster care. They didn’t even blink or take a breath. Max already worked with him at his software startup, Fox Solutions, back in Boston. But Dean, he quit his last job in security to be by Fox’s side. And for the last two years, it had been the three of them figuring out what mattered most.
For them, it was about helping kids who aged out of the system like them. The ones with no family, no support, no means. The forgotten. Because that’s what happened. You turned eighteen and your support disappeared. You were left to figure your life out on your own.
He’d had help. And Fox owed that person so much, because he didn’t have to go out of his way to help Fox. But he had. And Fox knew why, and owed him a huge, long overdue, in-person thank you.
Fox drank more coffee and checked his phone. No new messages. “Fuck.”
“I take it she hasn’t responded.” Dean shook his head, an I-told-you-so look on his face because Dean had said over and over again that Fox’s plan to be back in Melody’s life sucked.
Fox had been following Melody on social media for years, but he’d never contacted her. He didn’t know what to say. What happened between them needed to be cleared up face-to-face. He wanted a chance to say his piece, apologize, and beg her forgiveness without her shutting him down and blocking his ass. He spent far too many hours scrolling through her pictures and posts, learning everything he could about her life.
Stalker vibes—totally.
Which was why he did it using a fake name and profile.
That didn’t really help eliminate him being a stalker, but what was he supposed to do? Send her a text? Thanks for being the best thing to ever happen to me. Sorry I said I hate you and haven’t spoken to you in years. I missed you every single day, but I had to save my ass and stay away, because I was too afraid to run into my dad because I knew if he laid a hand on me again, I’d kill him.
Not exactly a Hallmark card for that kind of sentiment either.
When he got to town, he’d walked into the Dark Horse Dive Bar she owned and worked at, stood right next to her, and though she’d definitely checked him out, undressing him with her eyes, she hadn’t recognized him at all. It disappointed him. He didn’t blame her because after those few short seconds, she’d been pulled back into work.
Damn, but Melody had grown up into a beautiful woman. One every guy stared at and wanted. And he’d realized he didn’t want her to remember the boy. He wanted her to see the man.
One who was keeping secrets, even as he tried to connect with her by sending her all those private messages over the last couple of months.
It started so simply, with asking basic questions about everyday things they liked. Favorite food, color, movies, music, that sort of thing. And then they dove deeper. He scrolled back through the many messages on his phone.
@LOST_GEEK_FOUND: What are you passionate about?
@WILDE_BAR_GIRL: Family, friends, work. Being myself. Creating a fun environment for my customers to enjoy themselves, so they can let loose. Being creative with my jewelry designs.
@WILDE_BAR_GIRL: What about you?
@LOST_GEEK_FOUND: Coding. Solving problems for my clients. Being the best at something. Standing on my own. Being a good friend. Taking care of the people who always have my back.
@LOST_GEEK_FOUND: What do you want most out of life?
@WILDE_BAR_GIRL: Love. Laughter. To be surrounded by the people who matter most. To feel fulfilled and that I have purpose.
@LOST_GEEK_FOUND: Same. And to know that the people I care about are safe.
Because he hadn’t always felt that way growing up. Certainly not with his parents, and not always in foster care.
Things often got flirty, too.
@LOST_GEEK_FOUND: Best compliment you ever received after sex?
@WILDE_BAR_GIRL: Aside from—That was awesome! Your pussy wrecked me.
@LOST_GEEK_FOUND: Fuck that’s hot!
@LOST_GEEK_FOUND: Mine was—Your dick is magical. I saw stars.
@LOST_GEEK_FOUND: It is impressive. I can’t wait to show it to you.
@WILDE_BAR_GIRL: No dick pics. I want it live and in person. Which means you’ll have to come out to play.
That last one killed him, because he’d like nothing more. But he’d been playing a long game, giving them both time to get to know each other without the baggage of their past.
In those messages, they opened up to each other about so many things. They were honest with each other, even though he’d held back the one thing she really wanted to know. His true identity.
Not a great way to start. But now he knew that she was as amazing as she was when they were young. He hoped she could forgive him for…everything.
“You’re thinking about her again.” Dean smirked. “You get this dopey look on your face. For god’s sake, just go up to her, tell her who you are, apologize, and ask her out. If you don’t do it soon, I will. Because that girl is smokin’ hot.”
Fox glared at his best friend. “Not happening, asshole. Stay away from her.”
“Why? Because she’s yours? Buddy, she doesn’t even know you’re here. She thinks she’s talking to some guy who is such a chump he won’t even meet her in person.”
Okay, yes, his strategy sucked. It had backfired, actually. He’d wanted a chance for them to get to know each other again without their history getting in the way.
But after weeks of messaging each other since he’d come back, sharing stories about their lives, and really getting to know each other, last night she’d laid down an ultimatum.
He stared at her last message.
@WILDE_BAR_GIRL: Either meet me in person and tell me your name, or this is over.
His gut clenched at the thought of losing her again.
The boy in him wanted her to know he regretted what he’d said the moment she’d walked out of his hospital room. He never forgot her. He owed her.
The man…he wanted her back in a way that had nothing to do with simply being her friend again. His whole body heated with just the thought of kissing her, touching her, holding her in his arms as he sank into her.
The girl stole his heart. The woman starred in all his fantasies.
Dean leaned back against the desk. “Stop stalling. Stop thinking about what could happen and make something happen. You keep this up, you’re going to lose her all over again.”
Voices sounded out in the main part of the building. They needed to get started on today’s lessons.
Amy, their resident chef for the next three months, poked her head into his office. “It’s egg day. Let’s make some omelets.” Her gaze never strayed from him. It landed on him every time they were in the same room.
Fox didn’t acknowledge her hungry gaze. He’d hired her to teach the students at the New Adult Education Center he recently opened here in Blackrock Falls, Wyoming how to cook, not to flirt with him. “On our way.”
Her head tilted to the side. “You look tired. You feeling okay?”
“He slept on his desk again last night.” Dean’s disapproval matched the look in Amy’s eyes.
“I had a lot of work to catch up on after the lessons ran long yesterday.”
Amy frowned. “You work too hard. You need to take care of yourself.” She bit her bottom lip. “Or let someone take care of you.” She waved her hand for him to come along. “I’ll make you the best omelet you’ve ever had, and you’ll be feeling better in no time.” Amy backed out of his office.
Dean said under his breath, “I’ll just bet she has other ideas about how she’d like to take care of you.”
Fox stood, stretched his aching back, raised his arms to loosen up his stiff shoulders, and accidentally smacked his friend. “Shut up. She works for us.”
“She’d like to work on you.”
“Not interested.” Even if he hadn’t been hung up on Melody, he wouldn’t have been interested. It seemed like a recipe for disaster. Amy continually said that food was her love language, and she was always trying to feed him. He made sure to take her cooking lessons seriously, because it was a skill he needed to learn to do better, but otherwise tried to keep his distance.
“Then go after the girl you are interested in and lock that down before you miss your chance and someone else steals her away from you.”
“What if she doesn’t want me?”
“I catch you smiling at your phone while you two are sending messages back and forth. She makes you happy. And if she’s frustrated with you because she wants more than you’re giving her, doesn’t that tell you something?”
He desperately wanted to believe that they’d see each other again, she’d forgive him, and everything would be as easy as it used to be with her. Nothing in his life had ever been that easy.
Except with her.
“I’ll talk to her tonight.” A swarm of butterflies took flight in his belly.
“Finally.” Dean stared him down. “If she still makes you happy, hold on to her. Do whatever you have to do to make her forgive you, then be everything she is to you. Put a smile on her face. One that isn’t just for show for the customers tipping her.”
Dean had seen what Fox picked up on every time they were in the bar and saw Melody competently doing her job, serving customers, fending off drunken cowboys making passes at her because they wanted in her pants, not necessarily in her heart. She grinned and bore it, used snappy comebacks for indecent requests, sloppy compliments, and pick-up lines, and expertly dodged grabby hands as she did her job. Only when she was with her sisters or brother did she smile like she meant it.
He hated to think that the conversations they shared had turned into something she didn’t think was authentic or real, just some online troll using her as a distraction. He needed to set her straight. He needed to make this right.
Because Dean was right, he needed to hold on to her, because she was one of the few things he truly cared about losing in a life where he’d lost so much, or never had to begin with.
Tonight, he’d reclaim the place he’d had in her life in the past and hope she didn’t kick him out of her future, because he was tired of living without her and eager to show her the man knew how to be a good friend—and a whole lot more if she’d let him.