2. Chapter Two
Chapter two
M elody sidled up to the bar and shouted over the crowd, “Two chardonnays, six shots of tequila, one cosmo, four Bud Lights.”
Her dad was behind the bar covering for Jax tonight because her brother was home with his fiancée, Layla, who had the flu. It was sweet he wanted to take care of her. They were so happy together.
Lyric had Mason, who worked for the FBI.
Aria was still flirting with Mason’s brother and boss Nick.
Melody had her online geek…sort of.
They’d spent many weeks doing the get-to-know-you thing. Now she wanted to spend some time in person, to see if the spark she felt was an attraction they could build on.
She knew he came into the bar sometimes. She’d never figured out who he might be. In the packed space, it would be easy for him to disappear into the crowd. He loved to send her cheeky messages telling her how sexy she looked that night. But he always remained hidden in the shadows. She’d asked to meet him in person more than once. He kept putting it off.
For all she knew, he was some creep just stringing her along.
Though she did enjoy their conversations. The questions he asked, the things they revealed to each other, it all felt real and deep. She could be herself with him because online she could take her time, find the right words, and be brave in the privacy provided by distance.
But she wanted more than conversation. She wanted connection in the real world. She wanted to see his face when he spoke, the look in his eyes, and hear the way he said things. She wanted to believe that what had started online could exist in the reality of their day to day lives.
Her dad nodded that he’d heard her order and started pulling beer bottles out of the fridge and filling her tray.
Her phone vibrated in her back pocket. She pulled it out of the tight black denim skirt she’d worn tonight and tried not to get her hopes up. Her heart raced as she stared at the message from @lost_geek_found. She pressed her hand to her fluttering belly, took a steadying breath, bracing herself for possible rejection, then tapped the message.
@LOST_GEEK_FOUND: I’ll be there in ten minutes.
@LOST_GEEK_FOUND: I lost you once. I can’t do it again. Just remember, I’m the guy you’ve gotten to know again all these weeks.
@LOST_GEEK_FOUND: Please just give me a chance.
“Here you go, honey. All set.”
She lifted her gaze from her phone to her dad.
His eyes narrowed with concern. “Everything all right?”
“You know that guy I’ve been chatting with?”
“Yeah.” The grumble said he wasn’t so sure about a guy who didn’t ask his daughter out on a proper date like a gentleman.
“He’s coming to see me tonight.”
“About time. I can’t believe it took him this long.”
“Maybe he’s shy.” That’s the excuse she’d used to console herself when he refused to meet her until now.
“Glad he found his confidence for you.” Wade Wilde didn’t suffer fools or men who didn’t treat his daughters right.
She glanced at her phone again. “The message he sent doesn’t make sense though.”
“Why not?”
“He said he lost me once and can’t do it again.” She frowned at her dad. “Again?”
Some kind of knowing flashed in her dad’s eyes. “I guess you’ll find out soon.”
She lifted the heavy tray of drinks. “I’ll deliver these, then take my break when he gets here.” She went to turn away, but her dad’s words made her turn back to him.
“Sometimes the people we think we lost in the past come back to us.”
She thought about her mysterious chatter’s online name. Could it be that someone she’d lost touch with in the past had found her again?
She didn’t have time to think about the possibilities. He’d be here soon.
And with the noise in the bar, it was hard to think about anything besides her aching feet, the tables that she needed to service, and whether or not the tips would be worth the handsy and mouthy customers.
Not that she didn’t love this place and her job. She just wanted something more. Something that was hers.
She delivered the beers to the firefighters who were here to blow off steam. They gave her big grins and hot looks, but she didn’t take any of them up on the implied offers and sauntered to the next table of cow punchers, who greedily reached for the shots, before a couple of them turned to the table one over and the ladies there, who’d ordered the wine and cosmo.
One of the women leaned around the table crashers, and her eyes went wide. “Oh my God, I want the one on the right.”
“Only if I get the one on the left,” the strawberry blonde announced, practically drooling.
Their third wheel didn’t look the least disappointed that there were only two and said, “I’ll take both of them.”
Melody laughed with the trio, and turning to head back to the bar, had to agree with the first woman. She’d take the guy on the right, too.
Tall, lean, dark hair cut short around the back, longer on top with just enough wave to make her want to sink her fingers into the thick mass. Dressed in jeans that hugged his perfect ass and a simple untucked black dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, he wasn’t a cowboy, but something more polished.
His friend was cute. Blond hair cut neat and short. Black military boots, jeans, and a dark gray thermal. His blue eyes were sharp as they landed on her right before he tapped his buddy’s shoulder to get his attention, then pointed right at her.
Turning, the guy’s green gaze met hers and something shifted inside her chest, making her breath catch. His jaw hardened for a second before a smile broke out on his face that was so lethal it could have had every woman in the room dropping their panties for him.
She forgot how to walk as she halted and just stared at the perfection that was this man she’d never seen but wanted with everything inside her.
Was this how Lyric felt when she laid eyes on Mason, and how Jax felt when he saw Layla for the first time?
Was this even real?
Was he?
Time seemed to slow as they just stared at each other, then it suddenly sped up as her dad rushed to the guy and threw his arms around him, giving him a smack on the back and hugging him close.
Stunned, she found her feet and walked toward all of them.
Wade held the man by the shoulders. “Why didn’t you tell me you were in town? It’s been too long since I’ve seen you. You should have called or come by the ranch.” Her dad didn’t work the bar very often, only when they needed extra help.
The man looked from her dad to her and back again. “I needed a little time to get settled in town with Dean and deal with my mom.”
“Hey, I’m Dean.” The blond held his hand out to her.
She took it and shook, not really looking at him, still staring at the other one.
Her dad let the man loose and met her gaze. “Aren’t you going to say hello, honey?”
His green gaze met hers again. For some reason, tears gathered in her eyes.
“It’s been a long time,” he said, his deep voice soft, like he didn’t want to spook her.
Her heart beat so fast she could barely breathe. “Fox?” A tear slid down her cheek.
“Yes.” Fox’s eyes narrowed and the muscle in his jaw ticked.
The past came back to her in a slideshow of them as kids and the nightmare of how it all ended with him yelling at her that he hated her.
She couldn’t stop the tears now; they ran down her cheeks one after another as her heart broke all over again. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t stand there and look at him, knowing what she’d done and that he hated her. “I’m sorry.” She dropped the tray she’d been holding and ran through the kitchen. Lyric called out to her, asking what was wrong, but Melody didn’t stop until she shot out the back door and ran across the wide patio area. She bent over and tried to catch her breath and wipe away the tears, but they just wouldn’t stop.
Strong hands settled on her shoulders and pulled her upright. “Hey now. You need to stop that because I seriously have no idea what to do and it’s killing me to see you so sad. Please, Dee, give me a chance to explain.”
She caught her breath when she saw the guilty look in his eyes and she put the pieces together. “You’re him.”
“Yes. It’s me. Fox.”
She shook her head. “No. You’re him . The guy who’s been DMing me online.”
Even in the dim light she could see the flush of red hit his cheeks. Embarrassment and guilt lit his eyes. “I know it was stupid to try to slip back into your life that way. I should have just talked to you. But there are so many people in the bar and every guy has his eyes on you and I didn’t want to just show up and tell you I’m sorry and dump all our past on you in the middle of your shift with everyone watching.” The words came out in a rushed plea.
She raised a brow. “How did that work out for you?”
A pained look came into his eyes. “I made you cry. I’m sorry.” He ran his hand through his gorgeous hair. “I blew it just like I thought I would. That’s why I tried to talk to you online. I thought if I took the time to get to know you again and you got to know me without everything else from the past, then when I did finally talk to you in person we’d be friends again.”
Both brows shot up this time. “You deceived me, so we could be friends?”
“Yes?”
Why was that a question?
His hand raked through his hair again. “I am so not good at this.”
“What?” She really didn’t understand any of it.
“Talking to people. In foster care, you keep your head down, mouth shut, and just get through another shit day.”
Tears welled in her eyes again. “It’s all my fault. I’m sorry.”
He rushed forward, cupped her face, and brushed his thumbs across her cheeks, wiping away her tears. “Okay, you need to stop doing that. I can’t take it. Nothing is your fault. You don’t owe me an apology. You aren’t to blame for anything. You are everything good and happy that I ever had in my life.
“Because of you, I’m alive. I survived. I’m the one who needs to tell you I’m sorry. I lashed out at you, but I didn’t mean it. You know I could never hate you.”
His eyes burned bright with need for her to understand. “You were my everything.” His mouth crashed into hers in a kiss that stole her breath and commanded all her attention.
She hooked her fingers around his wrists as his hands held her face much more gently than he kissed her. She felt the need and punch behind the kiss that told her he meant what he said.
Just when her body was about to combust from the heat in that kiss, his lips broke from hers and he took one huge step back and released her.
Her hands fell empty at her sides. Her lips felt abandoned and desperate to be claimed again. Her heart thrashed in her chest but it also cried out for that feeling she couldn’t identify to return. Her body vibrated as she held back from leaping back into his arms.
He stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
All the heat inside her went cold. “Are you sorry? Because that kiss…” She touched her fingertips to her swollen lips.
Something new sparked in his eyes. Hope? “I came here to apologize and beg your forgiveness for my careless words. If you knew how much I missed you, how many nights I thought about you—then and now—maybe you’d believe me when I say you’re the most important person I ever had in my life.” He took a step back toward her. “I’m sorry I left you. I’m sorry it took me so long to come back to you.” Another step closer. “And whatever it takes, I’ll do anything to be your friend again.” The last step brought the toes of his work boots right up to her. “And more. If you’ll let me. Please. Because I think we had a good thing going. I always knew there was no one like you. I just can’t not see you anymore.” He huffed out a breath. “See. I can’t speak coherently or think clearly with tears on your face and knowing you thought all this time I actually hated you.”
She did. She had. But now… “I betrayed you. You trusted me with your secret and I told my dad.”
He put his hands on the outside of her shoulders. “You saved my life. If your dad and the police hadn’t found me…” His eyes turned stormy and the fear and pain came back that she’d seen so many times when they were little.
She hadn’t liked seeing the nightmare in his eyes in the boy and she liked it even less in the man. “I just wanted to help you, but you never let me, not in a way that would make things better for you.”
He squeezed her shoulders. “You helped me, Melody, in so many big and small ways. Knowing I’d get to see you at school was sometimes the only thing that made me not want to curl up and just die most days. When I was with you, I could breathe. I had fun. I laughed. I smiled. I had someone who listened and held my hand. I had someone who cared. Dean is not just a friend, he’s like a brother. But you are and will always be the one I trust the most.” He released her and slid his fingers through his hair, and pleaded with his eyes and words. “Please, Melody. I want you back.”
She launched herself into his chest and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him with everything she had. She didn’t want to let him go again. Not if it meant more days and years wondering if he was okay, if he was even alive. Because a world without Fox was just not a world she wanted to live in.
He held her just as fiercely. “Is this a yes? Because if you’re still mad about me slipping into your DMs and not telling you who I really am, then I’m prepared to bribe and beg as often and as much as you want.”
She leaned back against the hold he had around her waist. “Is that who you think I am now? That I need you to buy me off?”
His eyes rolled and he let out a heavy sigh. “Dean is right. I should stick to coding and stop trying to talk to people.” He pressed his forehead to hers and looked deeply into her eyes. “But I want to be in your life. I want us to hang out, go out, and learn everything there is to know about who we are now. I want to be able to pick up the phone and call you just so I can hear your voice. I want to hear you laugh and make you smile the way you did for me all those years ago. Maybe you’ll do that for me again. Maybe this time I won’t be the one who leans on you all the time and I can be the one you know will never let you down.” He seemed to stall out, but he looked so cute, all frustrated and anxious. “Seriously, this is the most I’ve spoken to anyone outside of teaching a class in I don’t know how long, so put me out of my misery and say yes.”
“Yes.”
It didn’t seem to ease him. “Yes to which part?”
“Yes to finding our way back to being best friends.”
“And about the more part? Because that kiss, as tame as it was, was the best kiss I’ve ever had, and I’m hoping you felt the explosion of sparks too.”
She liked his honesty, so she gave it back to him. “You mean the wildfire you set inside me?”
He gave her one of those killer smiles. “I’m happy to do it again. And again. And again. We’ll make it an infinite loop.”
She got the hint. “Is that a coding thing?”
“Yes. But it’s also a you thing, because I—”
“Melody!”
She leaned sideways, keeping her hold on Fox’s impressive biceps, so she could see her dad behind him at the back door of the bar. “What?”
“I know what you’re doing is long overdue, but it’s Friday and the bar is packed. We need you.”
Fox held her with one hand and used the other to brush his fingers over the side of her hair. It was the second time he’d done it to her, like it was becoming part of the habit he did to his own hair. “My timing sucks.”
“I’m on my way,” she called to her dad, then refocused on Fox. “Come inside. I’ll buy you a beer and get you something to eat. Maybe we can chat more later?”
“I’d like that. Feels like old times, you feeding me.” That smile made her stomach quake every time he used it.
“This feels different from when we were kids, Fox.”
“It feels even more important now that we get this right because it feels like if I lose you again, I’ll be missing a part of me forever.”
The words touched her so deeply, that melty heart thing happened in her chest and she just wanted to wrap him in her arms and never let go. “And you think you suck at talking to people.”
He took her hand and squeezed it. “I’m trying extra hard with you.”
She brought the back of his hand to her heart. “It’s just me, Fox. All you need to do is be you. That’s good enough for me. Always was. Always will be.”
He traced his fingertips lightly across her forehead and down the side of her face. “There is no one else like you.”
She stepped back, caught the disappointment in his eyes when they were more than mere inches apart, and walked back into the bar with him, the music and noise blasting at them as they came through the door.
Lyric’s eyes went wide when she saw Melody holding hands with Fox, then turned to an I-want-all-the-details-later look. Melody had a hard time believing some woman hadn’t snatched up the gorgeous man beside her, but over the last few weeks, they’d covered the whole thing about neither of them being in a relationship. They’d even talked about exes and how they hadn’t found the one yet.
All those conversations they had took on a whole new meaning now that she knew she’d been talking to Fox.
As they entered the main part of the bar, she asked him, “Why did you ask me all those questions about my favorite things when you already knew most of them?”
“I know what eight-year-old Melody liked, not what smokin’ hot Melody likes. People change. You have in some ways, but at the heart, you’re still the girl I knew. The one who likes peanut butter cups, riding horses, quiet time by the river, being with your family, and me.”
She did like him. Then and now. Because the adult Fox had charmed her over the last few weeks and made her want things that she’d never wanted with anyone else.
But they weren’t quite done putting the past to rest and moving on. “I’d like to get to know more about what happened to you back then, over the years, and who you are now.”
He pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it, their fingers still entwined. “We have all the time in the world. I’m not going anywhere.”
She quirked a brow. “You’re staying in town?”
“I have a place downtown. I’m doing some work at the New Adult Education Center.”
“I’ve seen that place. The building was completely renovated over the last couple months. What do you do there? I thought you worked at a big software company.”
He hesitated for a moment. “I do work for a big company, but I also run the center and teach an intensive computer programming course for certification in certain programming languages for young adults who age out of foster care and need to learn skills quickly to get work and be independent.”
“Wow. That’s amazing. You’re giving back to others like you.”
“I had help to get to where I am. I’m just paying it forward.”
“Who helped you?”
He paused. “Your dad.”
The news shocked her.
Fox glanced over at Wade. “He looked out for me ever since I went into foster care. Didn’t matter how many times I moved, he found me.”
Joy and pride lit her heart because her dad had kept watch over Fox, but anger twisted her gut because he’d kept it from her. “I had no idea.”
“I asked about you every time we spoke.”
A shrill whistle went up from the bar. Her dad. “I need to get back to work.”
Fox pointed to a booth to the right of them. “Dean’s waiting for me. We’ll hang for a little while, but then I have to head home and finish some work. Can we meet up for lunch tomorrow?”
She desperately wanted to see him again. If for no other reason than to believe this was real. It seemed so surreal. “How about the diner at two? I know that’s kind of late, but I don’t get out of here until at least three in the morning, and I sleep until noon most days.”
He brushed his hand up and down her arm. “I’ll meet you anytime you want.”
She turned to head to the bar, but spun back around and threw her arms around his neck again. She hugged him close and whispered, “Don’t disappear on me again.”
He kept one hand at the small of her back and the other fisted her hair. “Never. You want me, I’m here.”
She wanted to hold on to him, but let him go and rushed away to get his beer and food, so he’d stay a while. She brought enough for Dean, too, then started working her way from table to table taking orders, filling them, and collecting her tips. Time, like most nights, slipped by quickly and before she knew it, Fox and Dean were standing in front of her as she held a tray full of drinks. “Thanks for stopping by. Sorry I couldn’t talk more.”
“Tomorrow. The diner downtown.” Fox made it sound like an order but one filled with anticipation.
She nodded. “Lunch is on me if you promise to fill in the gap between third grade and now.”
“Like always, I’ll tell you all my secrets.”
She was still spinning about her dad being in touch with him all these years and not saying anything to her. She intended to have a talk with him about that very soon.
Maybe he thought she’d moved on and forgotten Fox over the years, but she never had. She never would. Not after he’d broken her heart in so many ways years ago. That was too much history, even for a child, to let go of the person who touched her heart and changed her forever.
She watched him walk out of the bar with Dean, knowing this wasn’t the end of their reunion but a new beginning.
She just hoped this time around it didn’t end in tragedy.
Which made her think of his mother. Melody had heard she was sick.
Maybe that was why he’d come back to town.
Did he know his mother hadn’t changed over the years? She was still the manipulative, mean woman she’d been when Melody was a kid. Once, she’d cornered Melody in the grocery store and told her that it was Melody’s fault the state had taken her son. Melody ran back to her mother crying and made an excuse because she’d been too scared to tell her mom what the mean woman said. As an adult, she knew better, but Melody had believed it was true back then.
And that meant if Fox was helping his mother, someone needed to watch his back. Melody wouldn’t let anyone, especially his mother, ever hurt him again.