Chapter 23
twenty-three
. . .
Rachel
Jack insisted I catch him at the bottom of the slide. He didn't always need me to catch him, but today he was feeling less confident about the playground equipment. I crouched down and smiled as his round pink face peered over the top of the slide.
"Here I come, Mommy!"
"I'm ready."
"Should I roar like a T-rex on the way down?"
"Definitely!"
He dropped his little legs over and released a big growl as he slid down. He landed right in my arms. I picked him up and swung him around. We laughed and growled together. I stopped when the spinning around caught up to me. I lowered his feet to the ground, and he took off for the climbing bridge.
"He's great," a deep voice said from behind.
I spun around. Evan was wearing a navy-blue sweater, black trousers and leather loafers. Something told me that was his casual attire. He looked very handsome, but my heart instantly ached for the rugged, far more disheveled man I'd grown used to.
His eyes dropped to my wrist. "Thought you might wear it."
I looked at my naked wrist. "Not sure if emeralds and playgrounds are a good match. I really should give it back to you. It doesn't fit into my lifestyle at all."
He stepped closer, but he was always cautious as if he worried I would dart off like a scared deer. His nice cologne drifted around us. "Wear it tonight. When you dance. Then decide if you want to keep it. If you don't, then I'll take it back."
"Not sure if emeralds go with a stripper pole and pasties but I'll see. Guess that means you'll be there."
"Linda and the kids are out of town at a violin recital."
I stared at him. "See, doesn't that seem strange? You're standing here talking to a woman you gave an expensive bracelet to and letting her know that your wife and kids are out of town at a recital. Why didn't you go with them?"
"I had work to do, and besides, the tension between Linda and me upsets the kids. We're better apart." He moved even closer. I didn't step back. "God, you are something in daylight. I only get to see you under stage and bar lights. You take my breath away, Rachel."
"Mommy! Watch me." Jack climbed across the bars and dropped down to his feet with all the drama and courage of a paratrooper.
I clapped and cheered, and he ran toward me. He stopped a few feet back and pointed. "Mommy, who is that man? Is Ronan coming?"
"Ronan isn't coming. This is my friend, Evan. Evan, this is Jack."
Evan stuck out his hand. "Nice to meet you, Jack."
Instead of shaking his hand, Jack scooted behind me and took hold of my legs. "Where's Ronan?" he peeped in a squeaky little voice.
I pried him off my legs, turned around and crouched until we were face-to-face. "Would you like to have your snacks now? Or do you still want to play?"
His new choices helped him forget about the strange man standing with me. "I want to swing. Can you push me?"
"I sure can."
We walked over to the swings. Evan looked posh and entirely out of place at the shabby playground. His shiny watch glistened on his wrist as he stuck his hands in his trouser pockets.
"Ronan?" he asked quietly. Jack was too busy on the swing to hear him ask.
I shook my head to let him know that we weren't close enough for me to share personal life details.
Evan understood. He didn't prod further.
"Can I show you something?" He pulled out his phone.
I still didn't know the man well enough.
What could he possibly have to show me? Had he been taking pictures of me on stage?
It was strictly forbidden in the club. I'd seen Oscar grab a phone and stomp it into a million pieces when he caught a customer filming a dance.
I gave Jack a gentle push and then straightened to look at Evan's phone. It was a picture of a cute, midcentury house with big front windows, a shiny teal door and a wood fence around it.
I laughed. "I was sure you lived in something bigger and grander. Though, that house is far more my style. Very cute. Lucky you."
"This house is on the market. It's just a few blocks from here. I paid the real estate agent to not accept any offer before he heard from me."
I nodded. "Very nice. A second home?" I asked. Jack giggled as I pushed him a little higher. His short legs kicked out futilely, but he was sure he was the one propelling himself through the air.
"I want to buy it for you."
I looked his direction. "You have got to be kidding."
"Nope. It would be a home for you and Jack. And there's a small back house, a mother-in-law unit as they call it, for your mom. I'm sure she'd like some independence again, and Jack could stay there whenever—" He stopped.
"Whenever you come over for your payment," I said harshly.
"No, Rachel, I promise. It won't be like that."
"It will feel that way to me, Evan. I'd be your paid mistress, a kept woman as they used to call it."
Jack bored of the swing. He hopped off, fell right down on his knees and hands and then hopped up to return to the slide. We followed him.
"First of all, my friends treat their mistresses far better than their wives."
A dry laugh shot from my mouth. "Is that supposed to help your argument? Maybe your friends are just a bunch of assholes and their wives deserve better."
Jack was always sensitive to the tone of my voice. He knew when I was angry or upset, and this conversation had caused both. He paused halfway up the slide ladder and looked at me with a worried frown.
I pushed up a smile. "I'm watching, Jack," I said cheerily. "Do you want me to catch you at the bottom?" My change of tone helped. He scowled briefly at Evan.
"No," he said firmly, "I'm a big boy." He continued up to the top of the slide but hesitated, seemingly rethinking his new brave stance.
"How about I just wait at the bottom for you?" I suggested.
"Okay." He swung his legs over and jumped up with pride when he shot off the bottom of the slide and landed on his feet. "I'm hungry, Mommy."
I took his hand. Evan followed us, but I was silently wishing we'd just end this conversation and meeting. That house was a dream come true, but it came with such an enormous price tag I couldn't even consider it. Could I?
Jack sat at the picnic bench, his little legs swinging back and forth as he plowed through a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The playground always made him extra hungry. Evan and I sat at the same table across from each other.
"You'd have freedom, Rachel. You wouldn't have to work two jobs. You could even pursue dancing. You're very talented. I would see to your financial needs."
"You really don't see this as a paid escort type of thing?"
"I see it as a way to improve both our lives. I know you'd make me very happy, and I would do everything in my power to make you happy, too."
"But what about love?"
The question struck him harder than I expected. "I think that question is already answered on my side. I'm hoping you'd grow to love me as well."
"So, when you say freedom, you're not talking about my social life. I wouldn't be able to see other people during those times when you are playing husband and father to your real family."
Again, he looked as if I'd reached out and slapped him. It seemed this was all as new to him as it was to me. "I'd insist that you don't see other men. And you'd have to leave your job at Tommy's."
"So freedom with some major caveats." He looked hurt, but that wasn't my intent. "Evan," I said in a softer tone, "you have to see how this might not sound as delightful and idyllic to me. What happens when you tire of me? When I get old?"
"I won't grow tired of you, but I'll guarantee your future by eventually putting the house solely in your name. It will be yours. Even if this doesn't last, you'll have a house that is paid for."
I was more than slightly flabbergasted and, at the same time, wondering if he was serious. "Why? Why would you do this for someone you hardly know?"
"Because I watch you, when you're on stage, when you're working on the floor serving drinks.
You wear that same mask, the 'everything's fine' mask, that my mom used to wear when I knew everything was not fine.
We struggled. She struggled. I want to make your life easier, and at the same time, I'll have you in my life. It's a win-win."
"Mommy, all done." Jack held up his hands.
They were covered in peanut butter and jelly.
His face was wearing a good bit of it, too.
I walked over and pulled wipes from my bag and began the peanut butter cleanup ritual.
Evan pulled out his phone to scroll through some texts while I finished with Jack.
Was he for real? Was all of this just because he took a shining to me and he wanted to keep another single mom from suffering the same fate as his mom?
"It has three bedrooms, brand new kitchen appliances and an air conditioner," he read off his phone. "We could drive by and look at it. I'll ask the agent to meet us there."
I raised a brow at him. "I can see why you've done so well in business. You're pushy."
Jack turned his thick little neck to look up at me. "Pushing is not nice. Hayley pushed me at day care, and I fell down."
"You're right, sweetie. Pushing is not nice." I looked at Evan pointedly to make sure he understood that comment was mostly for him.
"Let's just drive past it. You can follow me. Then I'll leave you alone, so you can think about it."
I started packing up our things. "We can drive by it, but Evan, this is still really hard for me to process."
Jack ran off to fill his pockets with acorns and rocks and other debris that I would eventually find in the bottom of the laundry room washer.
Evan walked up to me and took my hand. He'd been so careful about getting too close, but I felt a certain sense of need, of want, coming from the man.
He'd really thought this whole thing through and even found a house that I couldn't have picked more perfectly for myself.
I was sure it was absolutely dreamy inside.
A house. The big dream. Right there, handed to me on a silver platter, but it also meant giving up on love and marriage and relationships.
What about Ronan? I'd been dizzy with happiness since we'd started dating.
But there was one big problem. Neither of us were financially stable enough to help each other. Even together, it would be a struggle.
Evan's hand was soft and smooth, a stark contrast to Ronan's rough, callused hand. "I think this could work, Rachel. Please give it some serious thought. I promise I want no more than companionship, some love, some physical touch, something lacking in my marriage. I'm not into anything kinky or—"
"This whole thing is just a touch kinky, don't you think?" I'd done it again. I'd hurt his feelings. "I'm sorry. Like I said, it's just a lot to process."
"I understand. Follow me. We can drive past the house and then part ways there."
I agreed. I got Jack buckled in, and Evan drove off.
I followed behind his shiny Maserati. We drove down a few streets and then turned down one of those tree-lined streets I'd always dreamt about living on.
The sidewalks were clean and chalky white, and everyone's lawn was neatly trimmed and bordered by perfect landscaping.
I could just imagine Jack on his bicycle riding up and down the road beneath the shade of the trees.
Mom could plant tulips in the front garden.
She loved tulips. I could spend more time with Jack.
That was the biggest bonus of all. I felt like so much of his childhood was passing me by while I served greasy food and danced in front of hungry stares.
The Maserati slowed and parked in front of a house with a for sale sign. I pulled up behind Evan, and we both got out. Jack was already fast asleep in his car seat.
There was a sprawling maple tree in the front yard and a red brick chimney jutting up from the black slate roof. The teal door looked even prettier in person.
"What do you think?" Evan asked.
I smiled. "It's as if you snuck into the dream box in my brain and pulled out a picture of my absolute perfect house." I glanced around. "And neighborhood."
"Thought you might like it. I'll send you the listing link, so you can see the inside.
" Evan took my hand again. His touch was gentle.
It didn't stir anything in me. Not like when Ronan took my hand.
Maybe Evan was right though. Maybe I could learn to love him.
It might be the best of both worlds. Time with him but also independent time to do what I wanted.
"I'll think about it, Evan."
He leaned over and kissed me lightly on the lips. "That's all I ask."
Evan walked me to my car and then returned to his. I took one more long look at the house. It was so perfect it made my heart ache. I glanced back. Jack was still asleep. I pulled away from the dream house and drove back to the apartment.