Chapter 22
twenty-two
. . .
Ronan
Colin had talked me into going for an early morning bike ride.
A cold mist had covered the mountain but that didn't stop the two of us from getting into our usual competitiveness.
We raced down the trail. I'd taken an early lead but slowed when my pedal hit a jutting rock.
I managed not to fall, but Colin's back tire threw dirt at me as he bolted up and around that same rock.
We reached the part of the trail that swooped down fast and also spread out wide enough for me to pass my competitor.
It would be my last chance to race past Colin.
My bike tires left the ground as I hit a lip on the trail.
I leaned down and sped up to catch Colin's back tire.
His helmet turned as he glanced back over his shoulder to see where I was at.
I used it to my advantage. The look back had slowed him just enough for me to tear off around him.
I had to ride close to the edge of the tree-lined trail.
I ducked under a low branch. It scraped the top of my helmet as I torpedoed under it.
I pulled up even with Colin. He turned and looked at me through his goggles, then lowered himself over his bike again. I did the same.
I was focused on the trail. It was narrowing, and my opportunity to shoot in front of Colin was ending.
I didn't notice the tree branch until my pinky finger caught on it.
I yelled out in pain as my finger was wrenched sideways.
The vibration and sound of the finger snapping jolted through me.
Colin took off. This time he didn't look back.
He hadn't noticed that I came to a dead stop.
I was wearing gloves but that didn't matter.
The middle of my pinky was at a sickeningly weird angle.
It was going to be a bitch getting the glove off once the finger swelled.
I got off my bike and drank some water. I held my breath and slowly pulled the glove free.
The lines on the knuckle had vanished from the swelling.
My whole hand throbbed. I'd just fucked up my new job.
I got on my bike and rolled down the rest of the trail holding the bars with one hand. Colin held his helmet and goggles in one hand and the bike in the other as he waited at the end of the trail.
"What the fuck happened to you?" he asked before noticing that I was holding my bare hand against me. "Ahh shit. Did you break it?"
I held up the nearly dangling pinky.
"Shit, guess so. Well, let's get you to urgent care. I beat you, by the way," he reminded me as we walked back to his car.
Isat on the edge of the exam table and stared down at my newly taped hand.
The doctor stabilized the broken pinky by taping it to the next two fingers.
My right hand was basically worthless and would be that way for at least five weeks.
It was only my pinky, but it had just fucked up my entire life.
Colin came in with a can of soda. "Figured you could use a dose of sugar. They're just printing out your post-visit care instructions." Colin sat down in the spare chair. "Look, Ro, don't worry about the rent. I'm making enough to cover it. Maybe you can get some disability?"
"Don't think I've got enough hours behind me for that. Nope, as usual, just as my life starts looking up, I manage to fuck it all to hell. I'm sure Rachel will be fast to kick me to the curb when I can't even work."
I was discharged, and Colin and I left the hospital. I plunked myself down on the passenger seat and he climbed in behind the wheel. "Does it hurt much?"
"Still numb from the shot. Fuuck." I rested my head back and closed my eyes.
My phone buzzed before I could fall asleep.
I had to cross my left arm over and fish it out of my right pocket.
It was a text from Rachel. She'd attached a photo of Jack wearing a new sweatshirt with a dinosaur on the front.
Jack insisted I take his picture and send it to you.
Tell him his new sweatshirt rocks.
Even texting was awkward without my right hand. And since I was talking to Rachel, it occurred to me that I was going to be clumsy in another important part of my life, too. I was going to lose her, and that thought hurt way more than my damn finger.
She wrote back.
That made him smile. Now he's singing that he rocks as he dances around the apartment. How was the bike ride?
Rachel and I had texted briefly in the morning. She told me she planned to spend some quality time with Jack, and I let her know I was riding with my brother.
It didn't go so great. I'll explain later. Can I see you?
There was a long pause.
I'm not sure if I'll have time before work. What happened? Are you all right?
I'm good but my right-hand pinky has seen better days. It's no biggie.
It was easy to pretend that a broken little finger was no big deal, but it had huge ramifications. There was no way Doris was going to let me work with a bandaged hand.
Oh no. Is it bad?
Not too bad. I'll talk to you later. Let me know if you have any free time. I could drop by and see you and Jack.
I'll let you know.
That was the end of the conversation, and something about it felt abrupt. Like the end to something.
Colin sensed how I was feeling. "Everything all right?"
"Nope. I somehow managed to turn my life to shit again. And now I think I just got the brush-off from Rachel."
"Sorry about that, bro. I know you liked her. Well, we're going out tonight for Bucky's birthday, remember?"
"Yeah, I don't think so. This hand is starting to throb, and I don't think I'll be much fun tonight. I've got to talk to my boss and see if there's anything I can do at work with one hand. Doris likes me, but I'm sure there's no way she needs me hanging around with only one good hand."
"Maybe it'll heal faster than the five weeks the doctor mentioned.
Remember when I busted my wrist snowboarding?
The orthopedic guy told me I'd be out for at least eight weeks, but I cut that cast off after four.
" He held up his left hand. There was still a slight bend in the wrist that no doubt wouldn't have been there if he'd waited the full eight weeks.
"Even went on to score third place in the contest."
"That's cuz Lady Luck follows you around like she's hot for you. I, on the other hand, only get scowls and lectures from her. Like Dad likes to say, you're the light and I'm the dark."
Colin turned down the street that led to our apartment.
"You've got to keep Dad's toxic shit out of your head.
Otherwise, it's like that self-fulfilling prophecy crap.
You know? You think you're supposed to have shitty luck so you have it.
Keep up a positive attitude. Maybe your boss will take pity on you.
You said your boss is a woman. Use some of the old Wilde charm on her, and your sweet puppy dog face wouldn't hurt either. "
"Fuck off with your puppy dog crap. Doesn't matter if I beg.
If I'm worthless, then she won't need me.
And about that self-fulfilling prophecy stuff.
" I looked over at him. "Things were really looking up.
I have a cool place to live. I found a job that I actually like, and I met a woman who fucking steals my breath away just thinking about her.
I was feeling really positive about everything, then that damn tree jumped into my path to stop that nice trajectory dead in its tracks.
Rachel works her ass off to make ends meet, and I'll be sitting at home with this.
" I lifted my bandaged hand. "She's not going to give me the time of day, and I won't blame her. "
"Oh wow, someone is feeling really low. You know what, I'll buy us some burgers. You have a rest and see if you're not more in the mood to go out tonight and get hammered. Bucky hasn't decided where we're going yet, but we'll have a good time."
"I don't think a burger will help, but we'll see how I feel later. At the moment it's a hard no."