SIXTEEN
A soft tapat my bedroom door rouses me from sleep. After Beckham and I cleaned up and fell back into bed, he’d wound his body around me like an octopus—didn’t want to let me go. I loved it. He’d given me a peek into his inner psyche, and I’ve never felt more in tune with him.
The door opens as I’m sitting up and rubbing my eyes. Royal pokes his head in. “Hey. Sorry, I didn’t know if you were awake. I’ll let you sleep.”
My voice scratchy, I murmur, “No. It’s okay. Come on in.” I glance at my phone in the charger. “Chase will be up soon, anyway, and then we won’t have much time to ourselves.” My lips quirk up on one side. “Our toddler is all about attention, and I can’t even fault him for it, you know?”
Nodding, Royal walks in. He’s shirtless with his joggers riding low on his hips and has a boyish grin on his lips that makes me think indecent thoughts. I do my best to shake myself free of them so I can focus, but I can’t help myself—my eyes roam over him, thirsty as can be. I’ve always thought Royal was so damn sexy, and things haven’t changed at all. I tug down the concert T-shirt I’d chosen to wear to bed, suddenly acutely aware that I’m only wearing that and a pair of cotton boy short panties.
He closes the door behind him, eyeing me as if he’s aware of the thoughts in my head. “Actually, Chase went downstairs with Wilder and Beckham. I think Kara was already making coffee. Anyway, Beck said he was starving, and Chase gave a rather emphatic ‘Me too!’ so Wilder said he’d get started on breakfast. Looks like we’re now dealing with two human trash compactors. We’ll need to give Kara some money for eating all her groceries.”
My brows raise. “Wow, okay.” Lost in my own thoughts, I pull my knees to my chest and loop my arms around my legs. Eyeing him, I draw in a deep breath and nod. It’d seem that my mind is still having difficulties wrapping around how easily these guys fit into my life… and into Chase’s life, more specifically.
Easing off the bed, I head for the bathroom, gesturing to Royal that he should follow. He does so without question, watching me with a cautious eye. He’s always read me way better than I can read him. I stop at the sink, picking up my toothbrush while he leans against the doorframe. He’s waiting for me to say whatever is on my mind, but I don’t know if I’m in the proper frame of mind for it right now. Instead, I peek at him while I run some water, then bring the toothbrush to my mouth. “So, what’s the plan for the day, do you know? Besides the fight tonight. And how are we handling that?”
He runs a hand through his hair. “Wilder likes to be alone—it’s a pre-fight night ritual of his. He likes to get into the right headspace, and with this being his first fight against Bear Pierce, he definitely has a lot on his mind.” He stops speaking for a moment, and I glance over to find his jaw locked up tight.
Worry snaking down my spine, I lean over to spit the toothpaste residue, then rinse out my mouth. “Are you keeping something from me?” I stare at him wide-eyed as I turn and lean against the granite counter.
He blows out a hard breath, pushing away from the doorframe. He holds out his arms to me, and even though I’m unsure of what’s going on, I walk into them, letting him draw me close. Clearing his throat, his lips are in my hair as he murmurs, “Did you happen to give a second thought to his reaction the night of the murder?”
I ease back, staring into his pale-green eyes. “Yes. It shook me pretty hard to see him that upset. And I didn’t think Wilder was particularly squeamish either… he sees cadavers in his anatomy classes. But”—I pause to swallow, a hard lump forming in my throat as my anxiety levels increase—“I guess there’s been so much going on, I hadn’t found a time to ask him about it. It seemed like a topic he might be sensitive to discussing, so I kinda hesitated.” Wincing, I whisper, “I shouldn’t have waited. He was really shaken that night. And then to have to deal with his dickhead brother-in-law, too. It was all a lot.” I clench my teeth, worry overtaking me with every second Royal doesn’t expand on why he’s brought Wilder’s peculiar reaction up in the first place.
Royal clears his throat. “First, don’t take everything on yourself. I noticed, too, but held back for all the reasons you did. I think Beckham was the same.” He releases me, but takes my hand, pulling me along behind him back to the bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he tugs me down with him, his hand resting on my back. “I hope this doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass, but… he had a bad nightmare last night.”
My mouth drops open. “Like how bad?”
He grits his teeth, touching a hand to his jaw. “Bad enough that he was making these terrible hoarse noises like he was screaming inside his head. He caught me with one of his fisted hands.”
I blink, taking this in. “Did he tell you what it was about?”
“Not for a long time. I was up with him half the night. We had to get his mind to calm first.” Royal’s lips purse, and he looks away from me, shaking his head.
Like a strike of lightning, I put two and two together… not what caused the nightmare, but what Royal might’ve done to help him relax. Setting that aside for a second, I chew on my lip, trying to decide whether I should probe a little more. “And once he was able to talk to you?”
From the corner of his eye, he peers at me. “I think it has something to do with his dad’s death. Has he mentioned that to you?” I shake my head slowly. Royal shrugs. “He’s very closemouthed about him and the circumstances surrounding what happened. But, yeah. He’s been dead since right before Wilder enrolled at Kingston University.”
My brain clicks along, putting together pieces. “That’s a little strange. Beckham’s stuff with his nanny—the end of it, anyway—that all happened right before he came to SIN as well, right.” So. I mouth, “Sin Keeper?” As if there’s anyone in my home that would care if we spoke openly about it.
“That’s how all three of us ended up at SIN. A card with instructions. An invitation to change ‘what never should have been.’ That’s how they put it. I have some assumptions about what Wilder was told to do. But no direct confirmation. The shit we’re asked to do varies widely based on what seems like strategic intentions.”
My head buzzes with what that could mean.
Finally, Royal grits out, “Let’s talk about something else. Please.”
I nod scraping my teeth over my bottom lip. “I think it’s nice that you’re protective of him. Wilder, I mean. Beckham, too, really. But lately, you and Wilder are getting pretty close, huh?” I shoot him an impish grin. “You gonna tell me how you calmed him down?”
Royal stares at his hands for a moment before angling his head toward me and pinning me with his gaze. His voice comes out rough, and more than a little flustered. “I think you already know.” As we study each other, his cheeks infuse with pink.
“And Beckham? How do you feel about him?”
He rubs his hands on his thighs. “I’m not sure. He’s my friend. I don’t know. You know Beckham. He’s kinda game for most things. Just don’t know yet if I am.”
“But you’ve thought about it.”
He raises a brow. “Echo,” he groans, but there’s a hint of an admission in the way he says it.
I truly am enthralled with the idea of all of us together in that way, but I won’t push. That’s not who I am. “’Kay. Changing gears. Can I tell you a secret?”
He clears his throat, looking for all the world like he might pop out of his skin if I dig any deeper. Rubbing a hand over his jaw, he quietly murmurs, “Yeah, princess.” The word is so much softer than it used to be when he was spitting it at me in hate. I actually don’t mind being his princess when he uses the word like that.
“I, um, really like having you guys here with me. With Chase. And I’m going to ask you a million times, because it’s my job as his mom to make sure no one hurts him, but… you all aren’t going to pick up and leave us, are you? You’re not going to walk away?”
He gets this offended look on his face. “Fuck no, baby. Not ever.” He reaches out, tipping my chin so I meet his gaze. “In fact, I was planning to hang out with Chase today. We can’t go back to SIN yet, so I figured I’d make the most of our time. If that’s okay with you.”
I nod. “It is. And”—I exhale carefully—“I’ve got Chase next weekend. Kara’s got a thing. I kinda thought maybe Friday night, we could spend some time with him, only the three of us. We could tell him then.”
His look of hesitant excitement practically knocks me over. “Seriously? You think he’s ready?” He really does want this for him and Chase. I see it written in the barely contained joy in his eyes and the care and consideration in his actions involving his son.
“He could be by then. We can play it by ear.” My eyes flick to his. “But I do think it’s time, yes.” A soft smile tugs at my lips. “He loves Woyal. He’ll love Daddy even more.”
“Fuck. I have a baby.” He rubs, distractedly, at a spot on his side.
“You do.” I tip forward and cock my head to see what he’s messing with. “What’s that?”
“Oh. Nothing.” He stops what he’s doing and shifts his arm, conveniently hiding the spot he’d been rubbing from view.
I frown. “Not nothing.” Getting up, I stand between his legs, sinking down to my knees. I gently nudge his arm out of my way, not missing his intake of breath as I do. There on his rib cage is a fine silvery line, jagged in nature. It’d hardly be noticeable to most, but I know every inch of Royal’s body. A sick feeling rolls around in my stomach. That wasn’t there before the accident. This is my doing. “This is from the crash.”
Royal doesn’t even bother to vocalize his answer, he simply inclines his head. His entire body has gone tense.
He’d been so upset when he got into the car that fateful night. My eyes crash shut, even as the pads of my fingers draw across the scar that was left by my bad decision. The lights from emergency vehicles had flashed and flashed that night. I didn’t think they would ever stop.
“I hate that my parents kept me from seeing you. I’m so sorry.” The words feel like they scrape out of my throat, leaving raw and painful wounds.
“I know.” He reaches for a lock of hair that’s fallen into my face.
“I guess we both came out of that time of our lives with scars.” The minute the words leave my mouth, I wish I could bite them back, but they’re out there, lingering in the tension-thick air.
Royal tilts his head to the side, eyes focusing on me warily. “Echo, do you mean an actual scar?”
I take one breath, then another, blinking rapidly, horrified that I’m on the verge of tears, because I’m not so sure I want to tell him what happened, how I almost died and left our baby alone. My head jerks ever so slightly to the side as a wave of goose bumps rise on my skin. “No,” I admit quietly, “a psychological one.”
Before I know what’s happening, Royal tucks his hands under my arms and lifts me to my feet. In doing so, his eyes are almost level with mine as he sits there on my bed. “What are you talking about?” His voice is stern, his gaze probing. Piercing. Unrelenting.
“You— I— Never mind. It’s not important. I’m fine now.” My eyes shift away from his unrelenting stare to my favorite piece of Chase’s artwork that we had framed and hung on the wall. I don’t want to tell him because I know it’ll hurt him.
“Echo.” My name comes out on a growl from deep inside his chest and reverberates up the column of his throat. “There is never going to be a time when something that happened to you is unimportant to me. Even when I wasn’t here—even when I thought I hated you—you were always at the forefront of my mind.”
My heart thumps uncomfortably in my chest.
“Look at me.” He touches his fingertips to my jaw, steering my gaze back to his. “What don’t I know? Were you in an accident while I was gone? Did someone hurt you?”
I blink at him, taking in the seriousness of his expression. His hand curls around the side of my jaw until he’s cupping my face. My eyes blur, and every single breath I drag in cuts me deep, like the air is full of razor blades. The skin on my forehead pinches with the furrow of my brow. “I wrote to you when it happened. When I—” I close my eyes against the memory of so much blood. Of the medical personnel pouring into the room with me and their quick actions that ultimately saved my life. It all flashes before my eyes in an unending loop until I feel dizzy with it.
“I want to know everything,” he rasps. “Please, baby.”
I manage to squeak out three words past the thing wedged inside my throat. “I almost died.”
Royal stares at me with anxious eyes, speechless for several agonizing beats of my heart. I’m terrified of his reaction when he finds out that whoever was responsible for our correspondence not reaching each other kept this from him. “What?”
“I hemorrhaged. After giving birth. It all happened in a blur. I lost a lot of blood very quickly, and my blood pressure bottomed out. I think I went into shock or something, but I know there were a ton of people in the room. An oxygen mask was placed on my face. And they ended up giving me a blood transfusion.”
Royal blinks rapidly, then draws me close to him, holding me tightly. I physically feel how his next words rip from somewhere deep inside him. “I hate that I didn’t know. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you.” I soak in his embrace—his warmth, his strength… his love—for as long as I can before I finally feel the need to pull away.
Stepping out of his hold, I bring my palms to my flushed cheeks. “I know I told you this before, but this was one of the times I tried to contact you. I sent a letter to the prison for you, but you never got it.”
He gives a dismayed shake of his head. “That’s right. I didn’t,” he rasps.
I suck in a stuttering breath as I back up with my hands held in front of me. “And when I didn’t hear from you, that’s when I finally gave up.” My lip trembles, out of my control. “It—it broke me, Royal.”
“Why are you backing away from me?” The wound in Royal’s eyes is deep, and his usually steady hand shakes as he holds it out to me. “Listen to me. Someone did this to us.” His brow furrows. “We talked about this. The possibilities are fucking endless as to who it could be, but at this point, I wonder if the same person who screwed with us then is still messing with us now.”
My mind spins with that thought, and I reach out to grab his offered hand. “I’m scared, Royal.”
His jaw tight, he murmurs, “My opinion hasn’t changed. Someone deliberately sought to harm us and our relationship. To keep us apart. Were they somehow blocking our fucking calls? Stealing the goddamn mail?” He exhales as he draws me close again. “We know in the last couple of weeks that we’ve been able to text and call, no problem. I don’t get it.” His forehead pinches in concentration. “I didn’t back up any of my old shit when I got a new phone, but I kept my old number. I wiped everything. The first thing I did was add you as a contact. Despite everything we went through, the only part of my life prior to prison that I wanted to hang onto… was you, Echo.”
Those words are a sucker punch straight to my heart. I stare into his eyes, as the first tear spills from my eye. “You have me. You’ll always have me. And now you’ll have Chase, too.”