SEVENTEEN
Something wenton upstairs earlier between Royal and Echo. They’ve been exchanging tender looks and smiles, which is totally not something I’ve seen from Royal ever. Then again, he didn’t date last year. Never even so much as a casual fuck. And now we definitely know why. He loves that girl. Hell, I love that girl, I admitted it to myself last night. And Wilder loves that girl. We’re all completely fucking smitten, and I can only hope she feels the same way.
And I’d love to ponder all those sweet-ass feelings, but right now, I think it’s time I paid a visit to Megan at the women’s penitentiary and ask her what she knows about those fucking photos that appeared in the SIN entryway to mess with my head. I swear, if she had anything to do with it, I will go ballistic on her. And really, there were only two people in that house with me that could have done it. Her. And my father. He stepped in, stopping what was happening the instant he knew about it. So, what the actual fuck is going on? I’d been sick over it before, disturbed by how those images got onto our wall, but even more so how they were captured in the first fucking place. I’ve bypassed the embarrassed stage and progressed to straight-up pissed off. If Megan bears the brunt of that, oh fucking well. Maybe in the future, don’t prey on goddamn minors.
“Beck?”
I look up at the sound of my name. Wilder’s staring curiously at me. “What? Did you say something?”
“Just your name.” He motions to the food on my plate that has gone uneaten. “What’s going on? I think this is the longest homemade waffles have ever stayed on your plate.”
Royal’s brow goes up as he places the blue plastic toddler fork that Chase just chucked at him back on his tray. “You not feeling well?” He eyes me, and I know I’m acting all fucking twitchy and weird. Totally not myself today. I was hungry. But then, not. Fucking Megan.
I take a deep breath, eyeing my plate. “Yeah, maybe I’m a little off my game. I’m just— I dunno.” I don’t miss how Wilder and Royal exchange a look right before Wilder jerks his head toward the den.
“Come on, man. I need a minute with you before I head out.” I know damn well Wilder’s anxious to get out the door and get his mind right for tonight. He’ll probably go for a walk to somewhere he can be alone with his thoughts for a while.
Before I get up to go with him, my attention shifts to Royal, who is assisting Chase with his syrup-sticky fingers. “Need help?”
He glances up with a smirk. “Nah. We’re good.”
“Where did Echo and Kara go?”
Royal huffs out a laugh. “I think this is part one of my crash-course training on how to be a D-A-D-D-Y.”
“Ah. Okay, well, I guess we’ll leave you to it. Good luck educating yourself.”
“No problem. I got this.” He smirks before returning his attention to Chase, who’s just stuck his hand on the messy tray again. He huffs out a laugh as he chuckles at the mess he gets to clean up for a second time. “Duuude. Party foul, little man. Party foul.” As I walk out of the room, this time there’s a click as Royal removes the tray. He’s learning.
I let out a breath as I walk into the den to see Wilder sitting on the love seat, waiting impatiently. His brow arches, and he studies me as he grinds out, “Sit.”
Because it’s a very me thing to do, I don’t just sit, I flop, landing sideways on the seat with my legs on the arm of the couch and my head in his lap, giving him a cheeky smile that I don’t really feel. “You rang?”
“Yeah. You’re acting fucking weird,” he grumbles. “Tell me what’s going on.”
The jerk knows me too well. Must divert his attention. My lips twist, knowing one thing for sure that is likely to work. “Did I hear some… noise through the wall last night?”
A muscle at the back of Wilder’s jaw jerks, and a rush of blood under his skin makes his skin flush pink from his neck all the way to his cheeks. “I had a nightmare.”
Well, that wasn’t what I was expecting him to say. “Fuck, really?” I sit up, immediately turning to him, but he stares straight ahead. Grasping his chin with a few fingers, I turn him to face me. “You okay? I was joking around about the sex sounds. I didn’t know about anything else. What happened?”
“Royal was there. It was fine. I keep seeing Freya and Zane in your bed.” He bites his lip and shakes his head, then looks steadily at me, those dark eyes boring into mine. “We fucked. It got my mind off things for a while.”
Whoa. Fuck. Okay.“I hate the nightmare thing for you. That fucking sucks. But I bet you and Royal were fuckin’ hot together.”
The twitch of his lips is the only indication I have that it was, indeed, everything I’m imagining. “You’re good with it?” He pulls a lip balm from his pocket, running it over his soft lips. I can tell he’s totally trying to figure out whether or not I actually am cool with it, or if I’m hiding something.
I cock my head to the side. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t know. It happened, and then I wasn’t sure this morning the second I saw you.” He’s tense about it, I’ll give him that, and I’m definitely one to tease when I see him have this sort of reaction about something, but I’d never want him to feel badly about doing what feels right. Especially when we’ve already established that there’s something brewing between the two of them, as well as the four of us.
My lip quirks up on one side. “I think you need him in a different way than you need me… or Echo, for that matter.”
“Yep, I think you’re right.” He’s quiet for several seconds after that, running a hand over the back of his scalp, before slowly nodding. Clearing his throat, he meets my gaze again. “But I didn’t drag you out here to talk about that. I know when something’s not right with you.” He narrows his eyes on me. “Stop trying to distract me from whatever it is.”
I clench my teeth, knowing he’s not going to let this go. He knows me too well. Allowing the perturbation I’m really feeling to flow, I bite out, “I haven’t let go of this whole thing with Megan. Whether she was involved in those images showing up here or not, I don’t have a fucking clue. She may not even know they were taken. I’m going to go see her while you’re doing your pre-fight shit. Get some motherfucking answers.”
Wilder eyes me. “I’d encourage you not to give that bitch the benefit of the doubt. You know she’s likely to fuckin’ lie if it was her, right?” He works his jaw to the side. “Are you sure it’s worth it to go see her? I assume you were involved in how she landed there.”
A pissed-off sigh trails from my lips as I nod. “I’ll know if she’s lying.”
“Where are you going?” Echo slowly enters the room, then cringes when we both look up, but don’t answer. “Oh, shit. Is this a private conversation? I can—” Her eyes ping back and forth between us, and she pivots, ready to leave us be.
“No, it’s fine.” I let out a sigh with my eye roll. “Just going to the women’s prison, that’s all.”
Echo’s eyes widen, like maybe she regrets asking in the first place. “Oh.”
Wilder practically growls, “He’s hoping to speak to Megan.” Both the tone of his voice and the accompanying grimace reveal he isn’t happy about it.
“Did you have something you wanted to say?” I cock my head to the side, studying him, my eyes connecting with his dark ones.
He runs a hand through his hair. “I just wish you’d wait until I could fucking go with you, you know?”
My gaze flicks to Echo. “What if Echo came with me?”
An hour later,Echo and I are flying down the highway in my S2000. My stomach is in knots, so I haven’t said much. The pretty redhead beside me hasn’t opened her mouth either, but I can tell she’s dying to say something from the way she’s been studying me out of the corner of her eye.
Finally, she gives in, shifting in her seat to partially face me. “Beckham, can I ask you what you meant by something you said last night?”
I glance at her, noting the questions written all over her face before returning my eyes to the road. I release a heavy sigh and nod. “Yeah. Go ahead.”
For interminable seconds, Echo doesn’t speak. It’s unnerving and has me wondering what the hell is going on in that astute brain of hers. She catches onto things quickly, but she also lets them stew inside her head until she has no choice but to let it rip. I’ve noticed this about her from the beginning. She holds out her hand across the console, and I take it, allowing her to pull it to her lap, where she runs her thumb over the skin on the back of my hand. A moment later, the question erupts from her. “What did you mean when you said you’d made sure she paid?”
“Is that all? I thought you were going to ask how she convinced me to let her use a strap-on to fuck me at age fifteen.” I huff with uncomfortable laughter.
Echo practically chokes at my words, sputtering. “We didn’t even talk about that, you goof. And I definitely wouldn’t have asked about it. But since you brought it up, my assumption is she’d been grooming you all along, so I have no doubt her skills of coercion are fucking fantastic. Just like any other pedophile’s would be, nasty as it is to think about.”
I squeeze her hand. “Yeah.” Pausing for a moment, I decide to let it all hang out. This girl has seen the worst of me and hasn’t run. “Okay. So, when I got that initial hint from—” The second the thought of the Sin Keeper pops into my head, my mouth snaps shut. Fuck. The way I’ve been conditioned not to talk about anything surrounding the Sin Keeper is fuckin’ astounding.
“The Sin Keeper,” she finishes for me. “I’m not scared to say his name. So far, he’s kinda pulled me in and left me hanging. Whatever. I wasn’t ever told not to talk about it, so…” She gives a flick of the hand that’s not holding mine. “I’ll do what I want until I’m told otherwise. Continue, Beckham.”
I chuckle. “You’re a piece of work, Echo Madden.” She gives a little shrug as she slides me a wink, then gestures that I should keep talking, so I clear my throat and get back to it. “Anyway, when I was informed I needed to look at the ‘object of my obsession’ more carefully, I knew there had to be something to it, some reason why I needed to focus on her after I was already so fucking done. And keep in mind, at that point, the invitation to SIN was new. I didn’t know if I wanted any part of it.” I take a deep breath. “I couldn’t leave it be. In my heart, I knew it was something I had to do, so I followed her from her home to her nannying gig. I watched through a window as she sodomized a boy. He was probably around twelve. Same age I was when she was hired as my nanny.” I swallow roughly, noting that Echo appears calm on the exterior, waiting patiently for me to continue, but also how her grip on my hand is increasing by the second. “I needed proof and was really fucking nervous at first because I wasn’t sure what to do about what I was finding out. I took photos that day, and it weighed heavily on me, worrying what she was doing to that child. So, the next day, I broke down and took the evidence of her crime to the police department. I couldn’t handle the idea of her getting away with it. I was scared shitless, but I also realized that the case would be stronger if I came forward with what she did to me, too. I testified against her, which did the trick, but my father was mortified I would out my involvement with her. He hasn’t spoken much to me since.” She’s quiet for so long, I glance over at her. “You okay?”
She blinks, shaking her head as if she was off somewhere else. “This all happened your freshman year?”
“Yeah. It made things rough coming into SIN, having to spend a portion of my time dealing with legal hassle. But… the kid in the other family is getting counseling now, and I think he’s going to be okay.”
“Have you had counseling, though?” Echo questions, her eyes full of concern. Gah, she’s so fucking sweet.
“Yes. The counselor at my high school was good to me. After Megan left, I was traumatized and came to realize what we had wasn’t normal. Mrs. Anderson would bring all the students in to talk once a semester—I don’t know whether she spent extra time with me because of something I was putting out there or what, but I had all these feelings bottled up inside and she gave me a safe space to be on days I couldn’t fucking handle what was in my head. She never had a clue what had actually happened until I outed Megan with the evidence I collected.” I draw in a shaky breath, glancing at Echo from the corner of my eye. “I did see Mrs. Anderson for a short time the summer after I graduated. She’s a kind woman and continued to help me even after I was no longer a student at the high school. Never billed my dad for it, either. I have a feeling she knew my dad wouldn’t want to pay for therapy for me.” I shrug. “But yeah. She’s always been there for me anytime shit gets to be too much. I shoot her an email, and she’ll respond within a few hours.”
A hard swallow works down the delicate column of her throat. “That’s really good.” She pauses for a moment, wetting her lips. “And as a mother, Beckham, it”—she positions her free hand over her heart—“I appreciate that you didn’t sweep that under the rug.”
Up ahead, the women’s penitentiary looms. “I couldn’t. She was clearly sick. Out of control with it, too. That poor kid was younger than I was, and she was already touching him in ways no grown woman should touch a child.”
Pulling into a parking space, I cut the engine and unhook my seat belt, turning to face Echo. “Thanks for coming with me.”
“No problem. I hope she’ll be able to give you some information about—” She exhales hard, her shoulders sagging.
“All that ugliness. I know. Whether she knew—” I can’t finish, shaking my head. “Stay here. They probably wouldn’t let you see her, anyway. Hell, I don’t know if they’ll let me see her. If they do, it’ll probably be five minutes, max, that I actually get to speak to her.”
Echo grits her teeth, concern filling her emerald-green eyes. “Yeah. Okay. You know what you’re going to ask her?”
“I do.” I take a couple of deep breaths. “I’m glad you’re with me. It’s a good reminder of why the fuck she doesn’t matter anymore.” I can’t resist, I lunge across the center console, cupping her cheek in my hand, and press my lips to hers in a possessive show that I feel is necessary before going in to revisit my past. Even when I ease back, I don’t let her go; I just stare into her eyes and breathe in her air. The invisible tether that I’ve always felt linking the two of us together strengthens, tightening between us. “I’ll be back soon.”
“I’ll be right here, waiting.” She closes the short distance between us, delivering a heart stopping kiss of her own that I wish I didn’t have to walk away from. Our tongues curl together, and I drink her in, determined to take a part of her with me when I enter that building. This time, she’s the one to pull away. “Go. Get it over with.”
Twenty minutes later,I don’t know how to feel. I’m all worked up, and my strides to join Echo at my car are long and purposeful. She sees me coming, and even from a distance, I can see the way a deep groove forms on her forehead. On one hand, I love how she’s so attuned to me, that she recognizes something is raking its claws over me from the inside out. On the other hand, I really don’t want to tell her this because it’ll wig her out as much as it has me.
Echo scrambles from the car, meeting me in the middle of the parking lot. We stop with less than a foot between us. She’s anxious. For me. Her gaze races over my body from head to toe, and I know she’s observing the physical signs of the darkness that is pressing down on me. The rigidity with which I’m holding myself. The way I can’t quite fucking swallow past the thickness in my throat. And worst, the intermittent quaking of my body. “Beckham. I’m here. Talk to me.” She grasps me by both arms, just above the elbows, and gives me a slight shake.
My jaw locks up tight, and I pull my gaze from hers, staring at a point in the distance over her shoulder. I don’t know how to tell her that what I’ve discovered could affect all of us. When I finally drag in a rocky breath, it’s as if my lungs have forgotten what to do with the air. I work my jaw to the side before dropping my gaze back to her frantic greens. “She’s not there.”
Echo’s eyes bug out and her mouth drops open. “What do you mean?”
“The person at the desk told me Megan Redgrave was released six months ago.”