Chapter 27 #2
As they finished Gertie’s hot apple crisp, swimming in cream, Wade finally spoke.
“It’ll do no good to give me an answer, Pa.
Your promises mean nothing even if you could bring yourself to make them.
The next time you’re deliberately unkind to me or Abby—or Gertie, for that matter—I’m leaving.
Chester is a good foreman. You’ll be fine without me.
” Wade rose from the table and began gathering the dishes.
As he slipped past Gertie at the foot of the table, Mort spoke. “You’re right.” He sounded tired and defeated.
Wade turned, a wary look in his eyes. If his father had threatened him, he wouldn’t have flinched, but he actually looked a little scared of this version of his father. Abby had certainly never heard this tone. Judging from his reaction, Wade had never heard it either.
“I’ll try. That’s the best I can do.” Mort’s hands gripped the arms of his wheelchair until his knuckles turned white.
Abby held her breath. She’d never expected Mort to give an inch. She still didn’t really believe he would admit he was wrong about anything.
“I’ve been wrong about everything. You’ve done a good job with this ranch since you’ve been back.
I’ll watch my mouth, and you can take over the ranch I broke my back building out of nothing.
” Mort jerked the wheels backward to roll away from the table.
“While I wither up and die in my room.” He nearly ran over Abby as he left the room.
Good survival instincts served Abby well as she stood and pulled her chair out of the way for Mort’s exit. She watched him leave, and then her gaze went to Wade’s. “Maybe you should go after him?”
The door to Mort’s bedroom slammed so hard, Wade’s Stetson fell off the elk antlers by the back door.
“Better let him cool off.” Gertie looked after Mort, regret plain on her face. “You were pretty hard on him, Wade.”
“Yeah, and he’s been pretty hard on me all my life, and you, too, Gertie. Why’d you put up with it all these years?”
A frown turned down the corners of her mouth, and from the lines on her aging face, frowning was something Gertie had done a lot in her life. Why had she stayed? Why had she put up with Mort’s vicious temper?
“I stayed to protect you.” Gertie’s eyes brimmed with tears. “I knew how he was to you, but I couldn’t stop him. But I could be here and comfort you after it was over.”
Wade looked at Gertie in silence.
The silence was too much for Abby. “You couldn’t stop him? Why not? Did he hit you too?”
“No, he’s never laid a hand on me. Oh, I got the same yelling as everyone else…but never a fist.”
“Well, I’d say you did a poor job of protecting Wade if that was your goal.”
Wade gasped. “Abby, Gertie was always good to me. No one could control Pa.”
“Two adults in a household.” Abby sniffed.
She liked Gertie, but the woman had failed Wade just as Mort had.
“One of them an abusive tyrant, the other a kind and decent woman who stands by while the tyrant beats a child. You could make a case that the tyrant is out of control, even crazy. But the decent adult has no such excuse. To me, that makes the one who stands by more evil than the one who swings his fist.”
Gertie lifted her chin and glared at Abby. The kindness that was usually there had vanished. “I did the best I could.”
“She wasn’t to blame.” Wade set his plate down as if he needed his hands free to defend Gertie from Abby’s unkind truth.
“The best? The best you could do is cower in the kitchen and come out with hugs and sympathy afterward? A true defender would throw herself between the child and the tyrant.”
Gertie turned her face aside as if Abby had slapped her. “I was too afraid to protect the closest thing I’ll ever have to a son. You’re right.”
“Being right in a family of whites isn’t hard.” Abby stepped away from the table and turned her eyes on Wade. “I can’t sleep in this house of grief and anger tonight. I can’t even breathe. I need the wind blowing to cool my body and the night sounds to soothe me to sleep.”
“It’s not safe out there, Ab.”
“And it’s safe in here? This home is a haven from danger? I don’t think so, Wade. All the danger is locked inside with you. Your father built a fortress to keep happiness out.”
“Now, Abby, just settle down, and we’ll talk about this.”
“The time for talking is past.” Abby turned toward the door.
“Don’t go out.” Wade rushed across the room and literally threw himself in front of Abby, blocking her from the door.
“Get out of my way.”
“Calm down. It’s dark and damp. Don’t just go storming off. We’ll talk this through like two reasonable adults.”
“You want to talk, you come outside.”
“No.” Wade got a stubborn look on his face that reminded Abby of how he’d stood up to his father. “You stay in. You don’t get to win all the fights, Abby. A man is to be the head of the house. The Bible says so. You’re going to mind me, and that’s the end of it.”
It was a lovely night for a walk in the woods. And Wade knew he was going for one when Abby snarled at him, dodged past him as spry as a mountain goat, and slammed the door on her way out.
He had to go after her, but first, he needed to comfort poor Gertie. “She’s wrong.”
Shaking her head, tears welling in her eyes, Gertie said, “Maybe. I did what I was able to do for you, Wade. But we both know it wasn’t enough. I was a coward. I still am one.” Gertie turned and left the kitchen.
Wade was left alone. The silence was so profound, he could hear his heart beat in his chest. They’d all left him.
He’d been alone all of his life. His pa had never been with him, not in any sense of affection or support.
Gertie’s arms had comforted him, but only when it was too late.
Now here was Abby, a woman he wanted to marry and bring into his home, into his heart. She didn’t want him either.
Oh, she was drawn to him. Wade was sure of that.
But against her will. If he married her, would her untamed ways just be another kind of loneliness?
If he did convince her to marry him, would he spend his life bending to her will?
Was that God’s vision of a good marriage?
His trying to keep her happy, hoping and praying she wouldn’t dash off into the night and return to the life she loved far more than she would ever love him? Leaving him alone again.
She’d just this minute made that choice, and now she was in danger.
There were dangerous beasts, four-legged and two-legged, outside this house.
He’d lived in fair harmony through the winter out there, with a mountain and the bitter cold seemingly bent on killing him five times a day.
He’d liked the barren life. The time with his Bible had been good for his soul.
And now he was back with Pa and Gertie and more confused than ever. Not about his faith. He needed the comfort of God more than he needed his heart to take its next beat. But what was he supposed to do with his life? What did God want for him?
Wade walked to the door and went out onto the back step, now a ramp sloping down to ground level on the left and a section that went straight ahead for several feet so Pa could roll right onto the buckboard.
Wade went to the end of that section and sat down, his legs swinging, staring out into the night.
He prayed.
As the silence embraced him, a light glowed in the bunkhouse and another in the foreman’s cabin. Everyone was abed for the night…or would be soon. Except Abby, his Glowing Sun, who was no doubt using that confounded knife of hers to kill and skin a buck so she could build her own house.
He was an idiot to hunt for her. She was tougher than he was by far.
Yes, she’d been caught by white men, twice.
So she wasn’t invincible. She’d been kidnapped once last year when Wade had found her while on his way to help Belle Tanner—it had still been Tanner back then, before she’d married Silas—with her cattle drive and once this spring.
But the honest truth was, she’d been running from the first men, already free, and she’d been slashing away at the second man. She’d saved herself both times before Wade ever got there.
Dew had formed on the ground, showing footprints leading around the house as clearly as if they’d been outlined by lantern light. With a sigh, he followed them. He’d just talk to her. Find where she was sleeping.
She’d said, “All the danger is locked inside with you. Your father built a fortress to keep happiness out.” He looked at the house he was right now rounding and knew she was right.
He could never ask her to live in this house.
So he’d make sure she knew he was ready to leave.
To live anywhere as long as she was with him.
Shoving his hands in his pockets, he followed her trail toward a wooded area to the north of the house. Hopefully, she’d just gone in there to fume and cool down. As he stepped into the woods, an arm encircled his neck and a pointed blade jabbed into his skin.
Either someone was trying to kill him, or…he’d found his woman.
Or both.
“Go back inside.” Abby needed some peace. She needed time to think.
“I was hoping that was you, Ab.” Wade’s voice worked, just barely, through her hold. He didn’t try to escape. In fact, after they’d stood there a few seconds, the grip she had on him seemed less like an attack and more like she’d grabbed him to give a hug.
A hug with a knife involved, but still?—
“I meant it when I said I wouldn’t sleep in there tonight.”
“All right. I’m not going to try and argue. I just wanted to know where you were going to stay. I want you to be safe.”
“As if I was safe inside.” With a sniff of disgust, Abby let him go, sorry she’d ever touched him. Her arm was warm where it had wound around his throat. Holding her knife felt foolish. She would never harm Wade. Never.