Chapter 42 #2
“It’s true.”
“Then what?”
I look around at the many eyes around the table, and the board members online that I’d completely forgotten about.
“I tried to stay away from her in the office. But then I had to move down to the creative area, as we agreed at the previous board meeting, and she was everywhere. One day, she clocked it.”
Nia gasps. “Then what happened?” she asks, taking over from the PR consultant.
“We started seeing each other in secret. I knew it was wrong, but it felt so right. I wanted it to work out.”
“Is there a way it can work out?” Nia asks, her voice thick, looking at Graham and Hana. They turn to the PR team.
They all shake their heads. “If you stay in a relationship with the intern, that’s all people will see,” the young woman says again.
“Another Infinio CEO stepping over that reprehensible line and not making an effort to rectify the situation. What message does it send to the rest of the company? You’ll struggle to regain everyone’s respect, especially because of Rey’s …
lifestyle,” she says the last word with such contempt it stings me.
Is that how people will talk about us? Even when they know the truth?
“The only way we see this working out is if you do as Hana says.”
“Sebastian.” I seek out my old friend, hoping he’ll say something else. “What do you think?”
He blows out a breath. “I don’t know what to think,” he says. “You take over as CEO after that wanker, claiming you’re better than him. You knew how fragile this company is, and still went and shagged an intern, and you lied about it? What’s the deal here, man? I thought you cared about Infinio.”
He’s pissed. Clearly. Fuck, I should’ve told him earlier. I chew the inside of my cheek, not sure if he’s finished.
“I thought I knew Damian,” he continues. “We all have trust issues after that, and you do this? What else are you lying about?”
He’s more than pissed. He’s hurt. I’ve not been the loyal friend to him that I thought I was.
“You’re right, I’m sorry.”
“So fix it,” he says. “Don’t be the reason the company tanks. What’s worth more to you? That girl, or your legacy here?”
That’s not a question I can answer. I love her.
But Infinio is my life.
I look around at everyone.
Nia is crying. Tears stream down her cheeks. She presses her lips together in a sympathetic frown. The only person at this table who seems to remember I’m hurting.
Hana nods when my eyes meet hers. “Sebastian is on to something. Your secrecy, sneaking around, and especially this—” She waves towards the laptop, looking for her words. “This act in the office. It screams poor leadership. This has already cost us millions in share price reduction.”
“Mark,” Graham interjects. His familiar face stretched in a grimace of such concern and disappointment, I can hardly look at him.
“We discussed replacing you along with Damian last year, and I defended you until I turned blue in the face. But I can’t do it again if I think you’re no longer the sensible, reliable man I’ve always known you to be.
The Mark who founded this company would never degrade himself like this. What has happened to you?”
“Fuck,” I breathe, reality sinking in. I hate that they’re right, or at least they have a point.
I’ve worked so hard for Infinio. For the respect this role demands.
Not just here, but in my other investments, my role as a tech entrepreneur, a contributor in the business world.
I can’t have everyone look at me the way these people are now.
It’s not only about being perceived as Damian, which is a narrative I realise I can’t control right now. I must keep their respect, and my dignity, whatever is left of it.
My chest clenches hard, and the ache works its way into my throat. I lean my forehead on my arms on the table, looking down at the green carpet and the leather shoes I wore the night I got caught in the rain. The night I spent at Rey’s. I drag in a shaky breath. I can’t believe I’m doing this.
Without lifting my head, I utter the word I’ll regret forever.
“Okay.”
The burning in my throat is unbearable. I want everyone to leave.
“We’ll draw up a statement for internal comms and the press. You just need to review and sign it off,” Kurt says.
“Okay,” I say again.
“You should probably call Rey,” Nia says, her voice gentle in my ear. My phone appears in front of my face, and I shift to take it, but still without lifting my head. I don’t want my entire board, PR consultants, and HR to see me falling apart.
“Get the fuck out, all of you,” I bark, and I hear them scrambling. When there’s no more noise, I do it.
I call Rey.
She picks up on the first ring, and her voice in my ear makes the bubble in my throat burst. I swivel my chair towards the window, away from the door, and rub my eyes. I can’t remember the last time I cried.
“Rey,” I rasp.
“Mark, are you okay?”
“Am I okay? Are you? I—” The words are like rubber in my throat. I feel like I’m lying to her by talking normally. I can’t do this, making her think everything is normal.
“Rey, listen…”
“Mark, what’s happening?” Her voice cracks, and the sound of it knots my stomach.
I tell her about the board in as few words as possible. I don’t want her to know all the shit they said.
“I need to make a statement. That we met outside work, and that my role as CEO is not undermined.”
“Okay, that doesn’t sound too bad?”
I breathe. Deliberately and slowly. It feels as if my lungs are about to collapse.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I force the words out.
“I have to say it was a temporary relationship, and that I ended it when I found out you were an intern.”
“Ended? Are you breaking up with me?”
“I’m so sorry, Rey.”
“I want to see you. Say this to my face, Mark.” Her voice is small, and I want to reach through the phone and hold her. I breathe in, my chest burning.
“I have to release a statement right away, and there’s press outside your house. I can’t see you. And it’s for the best, Rey.” God knows, I wouldn’t be able to keep it together if I had to see her face now.
“But Mark, help me understand here. Why can’t I just leave my role and we’ll be together? I don’t care about anything else. I love you so much.”
Her desperate voice hits me square in the heart.
“The board, they—I’m going to lose my business. They say being with someone like … I can’t…”
“They say what? Someone like who?” Her voice is tight, and I know she’s hurting. It’s fucking killing me.
“I’m so sorry, Rey. I didn’t want this.”
She sighs and sniffs. “You’re a coward for not saying it out loud. Did you even fight for me?”
“I did, but—” The words die in my throat. I can’t say it. That I didn’t fight as hard as she deserves me to. I can’t get it out.
I am a coward.
“You’re really going to listen to the old wrinkly bunch of suits? You told me you accept me for me. You said you’re all in, and I believed you.”
The expressions of the board members and the PR team flash across my mind.
But mostly the drawn, disappointed face of Graham, who’s always looked out for me, whose advice I trust more than my own.
And the hurt in Sebastian’s eyes. I can’t lose their trust in me.
The unwavering, dutiful, dedicated founder of Infinio Games.
“I—I can’t.”
She drags in a breath. “Well done, Mark. You’ve not just broken my heart, you’ve ripped out my soul and stepped all over it.”
She hangs up, and I stare at my phone.
“I love you, Rey,” I say out loud for the first time, and I wish I’d at least told her that. I was too scared to say it, and now she’ll never know. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey,” a voice sounds behind me, and I turn to find Sebastian. I wipe my face and clear my throat.
“There’s no way I can listen to another dress-down, Sebastian,” I say, my voice croaky.
“You hadn’t told me you were seeing someone,” he says, his tone defiant, and I look away.
“I didn’t think it was serious. It seemed you were throwing this all away for nothing.
The fact that you lied about it just pissed me off so much I couldn’t think straight.
” He sighs, rubbing a hand over his chin.
“You’re not the only one who lost a friend, you know.
” His voice is more tender now, and I meet his eye again.
“Damian left us all wounded. And then I learned you told Graham first? You didn’t trust me? ”
He shifts on his feet and blows out a breath.
“But I didn’t know you loved the girl, Mark.”
“Yeah, well, it’s over now.” I fling my phone down on the floor and put my head back into my hands. “Where do I go from here?” I whisper, but I don’t expect an answer from him.