13. JT
Chapter thirteen
JT
“What can I get you to drink?” the barista at Wild Brews asks as I find myself in the small, teal-colored shop for the fourth time in a week. The country club has coffee. It’s just not busy yet on the course, and it turns out I need people around to stay sane. I have no idea how Jameo handled the isolation. If I didn’t know I was a big-city guy before now, this is definitely proving it to me.
It doesn’t help that Lila and I have successfully avoided each other for an entire week now.
I order my usual black coffee and grab a seat in the far corner just as Kelsey Harper walks through the door. Noticing me, she waves at the girl at the counter before heading in my direction. I stand up and give her a quick hug, inviting her to join me. Amazingly, at just that moment, the barista brings over a small coffee mug and sets it in front of her.
“Thanks, Laura,” she says, giving a name to the young woman who serves me most days. I mentally catalog it so I can remember it for next time. The other thing I’ve noticed in small towns—no one wears nametags. It makes it much harder for a guy like me, who likes to call people by name.
“Did you call ahead or something?” I ask, nodding toward what appears to be a kiddie cup of black coffee that she certainly didn’t order when she arrived.
“One of the perks of being a local: They know your order. And they know that I won’t drink a whole cup of coffee, so they just give me one of the kids cups.”
“They obviously aren’t worried about you skipping out without paying either.”
“I have a time or two on accident, but they just write it down and I pay the next time.”
“Small towns are so weird,” I say.
Kelsey nods. “That they are. I always thought I would be one of the people who moved away and never came back, but after moving regularly with the military, I realized I needed Wild Bluffs.”
“Really?” I ask. “It seems so lonely.”
“Lonely? That’s not…ahh.” Her face changes from one of confusion to a small knowing smile. “Let’s be clear, staying for a couple of weeks at the country club is not the same as living and working in Wild Bluffs. When you’re part of the community, it can be, well, honestly, smothering at times. Everyone knows everything about your business, and everyone has an opinion about what you should or should not be doing. Now, staying out at the course, I can imagine that’s lonely.” She plays with one of the wisps of hair that has escaped from her blonde ponytail and now hangs next to her temple. “How’s Lila handling it?”
“Fine, I’d imagine,” I say. “You’d likely know more than I would.”
"I doubt that. I don’t really ask her about her personal life—not because I don’t care, but because I’ve never had an employee I see in person every day, let alone one I’m likely going to be related to. I’m still trying to figure out the balance, and I’m not sure I’m handling the line between personal and professional well."
Kelsey doesn’t seem like the type to share personal information very often, let alone hint at a weakness, so I decide to share my own truth. “We don’t really interact much.”
“Oh really? Why’s that?”
“We’ve never really gotten along.”
“Huh.”
“What’s that mean?” I ask, leaning forward to rest my elbows on the table between us.
“Nothing.”
“Oh, come on. It meant something. I promise not to cry if you tell me,” I joke.
She rolls her eyes but decides to answer me. “That’s just not how I would’ve described it. But what do I know? I’ve been around the two of you together a grand total of two times. If you say you don’t get along, who am I to say otherwise? You both just seem to be friendly, outgoing people, and you are her brother’s best friend…and you’re living together for the summer…so I assumed you guys would at least get along somewhat well.”
“Yeah, well, Jameson thought it would be fun to not tell either of us that we’d be staying at his house.”
“That sounds like an awkward surprise. Does he know the two of you don’t get along?” Kelsey asks.
“Honestly, it feels like you’re the only person who has ever been around the two of us together for more than a minute without picking up on the fact that we drive each other crazy.”
“Oh. Huh,” she says again, her nose crinkling as she looks at the ceiling.
“You said it again.”
She rolls her eyes but doesn’t make me ask again this time before answering. “That time you said you drive each other crazy. The first time you said you didn’t get along. They’re not quite the same, I guess.”
Are they not the same? I’ve never really considered it before. Lila and I push each other’s buttons, that’s for sure, but I was pretty shocked in the car when she thought I hated her. If anything, being around Lila is like a session in an ice bath—all of my synapses fire at once, the feeling so overwhelming, I just want to jump out, but once it’s over, I feel energized and like I’m back to the real me. No one likes an ice bath, but you understand the role it plays. You don’t hate the ice bath for being an ice bath, but that doesn’t mean you want to spend all your time in one.
“Huh.”
“Now you’re saying it,” Kelsey jokes. “Well”—she gathers up her little cup—”I’ve got to get back for a meeting with my East Coast team, but if you ever need a friend…well, my dad and I could probably come out and golf.”
It was almost a friendly offer. I appreciate that she threw her dad into the mix too.
“Thanks, Kelsey.” I get up as well, following her to the place by the door where you can bus your own dirty dishes. “Hey, do you know if any of the Ferguson brothers are in town?” I ask as I hold the door open for her on our way out of the coffee shop.
“No. I think Bryn mentioned that Conrad would be out at the club sometime this summer, though. You would probably have better luck asking out there.”
As we turn out of the corner store and onto Main Street, I spot Lila talking to the woman who tried to set me up with her daughter the last time I saw her. Lila is wearing a pair of black pants today, the ones that are wide from her thighs to her feet. She has a striped, short-sleeved shirt tucked into it, giving her a nautical feel. I’ve made sure to stay out of her way since the Harpers’ party last week, so I can’t help but absorb the details about her even as I continue walking. She has a smile on her face, and her hands are moving animatedly as she talks. The women are far enough away they don’t seem to notice Kelsey and me. Lila’s smile somehow grows with whatever Janice says. I make for my vehicle, doing my best to avoid both women. Just as I’m climbing into my vehicle, I hear Lila say, “That sounds amazing. I’d love to meet Matthew.”
I slam the door shut, and both Lila and Janice look my direction at the noise. Noticing it’s me, Lila’s happiness melts into a look of distaste, and for some reason, a small piece of my heart feels like it’s about to cry.
***
“Who’s Matthew?” I ask when Lila walks into Jameson’s house that evening.
Lila screams, tossing her keys into the air.
“Jesus Christ, JT. What are you doing just sitting there?”
I could tell her that I’ve been sitting here reading our book, leaving her messages about the logistics of the most recent sex scene and what I would’ve done differently, but we don’t address the book. The Lila and JT who write those notes back and forth aren’t us. They can’t ever be us. They are the little pieces of our personalities who were friends once upon a time, and I’m not ready to send them back into hiding by addressing the personal comments we continue to leave for each other.
I’m also not going to tell her that I’ve barely been able to focus on the book because the stupid name Matthew keeps popping up in my brain.
“Just hanging out,” I say instead.
She snorts. “Right. You’ve been hiding in your room for the last two weeks, but now you happen to be ‘hanging out’ in the living room at the time I get home every night?” She kicks off her shoes before stopping at the edge of the living room, her arms crossed.
“So are you really not going to tell me who Matthew is?” I ask as I move toward her. Shit. Just like in Phoenix, I’m unable to resist the pull she has on me. The one I’ve been trying to avoid for the last two weeks. The one that only pops up when we are in private. “Why would you possibly care?” she asks.
It’s a valid question. One I’ve asked myself multiple times since I drove away from her and stupid Janice. So, I give her the only answer that makes any sense to me.
“Your brother asked me to keep an eye on you while he was gone. I just want to make sure you’re not doing anything stupid.”
“Wow. Thank you so much. I am just a na?ve little country mouse who just wouldn’t know a good seed from a bad one.”
“Your Southern accent is terrible.”
“Did Jameson really ask you to keep an eye on me?”
“Something like that.”
“I’m going to kill him,” she says, pulling out her phone.
I capture her wrist, staring into her bright green eyes. “Are you going to answer my question?” I ask.
She licks her lips before pulling a defiant mask over her face. “It’s none of your business. I don’t need anyone to keep an eye on me. I’m 24. I have a master’s degree. I’m involved in cybersecurity for some of the top corporations around the world. I can decide whether I want to go out with Janice’s nephew, okay?”
I move closer, our lips just a few inches apart.
“Janice’s nephew, huh? Sounds like a real winner.”
“You don’t know anything about him.”
“I know his name is Matthew. What kind of name is that?”
“What kind of name is Justin Theodore , JT?” she asks, pushing me away.
It’s hard to argue that point because I dislike the name so much that I officially go by JT. So, as any good debater would, I decide to skip right over her question and continue with my point. “I know Janice is out there just trying to set people up all willy-nilly. She tried to set me up with her daughter, for fuck’s sake.”
“Well, it doesn’t speak well for her track record that she would try to set anyone up with you, let alone her own flesh and blood, but she doesn’t know you that well. I’m sure she knows her nephew much better.”
“I’m a catch, Lila,” I say.
“Really?” she asks. “Then why don’t you ever have a girlfriend?”
“Oh, trust me, I could if I wanted to. I could have a girlfriend tomorrow if I wanted one. I don’t know if you know this, but I’ve always had a knack for getting women into bed quickly.”
She rolls her eyes, seeming not to care that I just equated her with the other women I’ve slept with. Though, fuck . She’s definitely not in the same category as any of them. My time with her meant so much more than that.
“Fucking isn’t the same as dating,” I say, terrified at the thought of Lila meaning something to me. You cannot risk losing your best friend, JT. Get it together.
“Oh, I’m quite aware.” She glares at me one last time, and it takes all my self-control not to capture her lips with mine. To make her forget the name Matthew ever existed.