14. Lila
Chapter fourteen
Lila
“I can’t see anything,” Elise says from the speaker on my phone.
“Ugh.” I groan. “It’s a lot harder to have you help me pick out clothes when you’re hundreds of miles away.”
“I don’t remember getting this motion sick when we did it in person. Maybe you should just set your phone down until you pick something out and then I can approve or not.”
“Fine,” I say, walking over to prop my phone against the lamp on my nightstand. At least this way Elise can still see me as I inspect my closet. How is it that I own all these clothes and nothing in here seems to be remotely close to what I want to wear? Who was I when I bought these? To be fair, I only have two suitcases’ worth, but it still seems like a lot of options that I hate.
“So we are thinking no on the summer dress?” I ask, pulling out the cute light blue dress with puffy sleeves and a floral pattern on it. It was my go-to dressy outfit in college, so it feels like a good fit for a blind date with Janice’s nephew Matthew.
“You said you haven’t seen anyone wearing a dress since you came into town.”
“True.”
“And that dress is what the youths are wearing these days.”
“Are we even considered youths at this point?”
“Doesn’t matter. I assure you that style has not reached rural Colorado.”
“Don’t be mean, Elise.”
“I’m not being mean! Small towns just tend to be a few years behind on fashion trends, and even then, most people’s fashion just freezes the minute they move back to town. I’m not hating on it. It’s very practical. My mom wore the same clothes my entire life. Actually, now that I think about it, I’m not sure if it’s practical or sad.” She considers it while I stare into my closet as if more options might magically appear.
When nothing new materializes, I move on. “Okay, so no dresses. That helps narrow things down,” I say. “Next question: Jeans or dress pants?”
“It’s not a business interview, Lila.”
“Hey, I’ve got some cute wide-leg pants I could wear.”
“Nope.”
“So…jeans?”
“Yes. I feel ninety percent sure jeans are the correct option,” Elise confirms.
I hear JT’s door to his room open, followed quickly by the sound of him leaving through the front door. I’ve continued to avoid him since his little outburst yesterday. Fuck him for knowing exactly what to say to make me question everything about myself by making it clear no one could ever love me . I’m embarrassed by how distracted I was at work today. I was creating a monitoring schedule for a new client’s online accounts, and it took twice as long as it should have because his words continued to play in my head. It likely didn’t help that I was trying to do it all myself without reaching out to Kelsey for guidance—she hired me for this job, so I should be able to do it.
I also refused to open our— no, my —book when I got home today because I didn’t want to see that version of JT. No, JT Johnson is a complete asshole, and I will not let myself believe anything else.
I grab a pair of my dark jeans and a silky, emerald-green blouse with a deep V-neckline. The shirt is just elegant enough to make it look like I dressed up, but the jeans and casual black slide sandals I plan to wear should make it look like I’m not trying too hard. I slip off my white blouse from work today and change quickly before stepping into Elise’s line of sight again.
“What do you think?”
“Perfect! That color looks amazing with the slight tan you’re getting and your dark hair.”
“Like I’m trying but not too hard?” I ask.
She gives me one more full-body sweep. “The exact right amount of trying.”
“Perfect,” I say, bringing the phone with me into the bathroom so I can do my hair and makeup. Janice immediately followed up our conversation yesterday by sending me and another number a group text introducing me to Matthew and him to me. It’s clear he’s been set up by his aunt a time or two before, because when he responded, it was to the whole group and politely asked me out for the next night. Once I agreed, he switched to a private text chain with me, apologizing for including his aunt but assuring me it was the only way to get her to leave us both alone. I trust him on this one. So here I am, one night later, getting ready to go out for pizza with a complete stranger who is “my age.” I considered asking Becca and Izzy for the rundown, but they weren’t in the office today, and I’m not sure if we’re the kind of friends who randomly just text each other yet, so I’m flying blind on my date with Matthew at the pizza place in town, Wild Crusts.
“It’s amazing how quickly I got set up with someone in Wild Bluffs,” I say. “I really thought it would take much longer for me to find a date.”
“Really? I’m surprised it took so long for some local matchmaker to get her claws in you. You want to be set up. You’re like every mama’s dream.”
“That’s an exaggeration. I just have life plans, and getting married and having kids is an important part of mine.”
“You know you give people the ick when you say that, right?”
“I can recognize I don’t need a man to be happy and successful and still want to be in a loving relationship.”
“Yeah, but…”
“But what? It’s not like I’ve dated complete losers or lowered my standards just to be with someone, have I? No. I just know dating is a numbers game, so if I’m not out there meeting people, how will I ever find my person?”
“Fine. Fine.” Elise holds her hands in front of her in the universal sign for “I give up.”
“As long as you aren’t lowering your standards, I say have as much fun as you want with all the locals.”
“Thank you. That’s the kind of support I’m looking for.”
“Well, I mean, don’t have too much fun with too many of the locals. That shit will get around, and you will not like the impact it has on your reputation.”
“Oh, come on. I’m not planning on sleeping my way through Wild Bluffs.”
“I’m not saying not to do it, I’m just saying make sure they know how to keep it on the DL before you do.”
I nod but don’t reply. Sleeping my way through town sounds like the worst. Though, after that moment with JT last night, I have been looking forward to some male companionship this evening. Why must JT be so good-looking? It’s like being in his presence does something to my senses that causes half of my brain cells to turn to mush. Luckily, I caught myself in time last night. God forbid we add Wild Bluffs to another one of our random hookup locations. Jameson would never forgive me if he found my ass print on one of his bathroom counters. Oh God, Jameson knowing we were hooking up would be completely embarrassing, especially since he still sees me as a child. I mean, he’s paying me to dog sit right now.
“Sooo…How is it going living with JT?” Elise asks after a long pause, clearly guessing where my thoughts have drifted. “Still just avoiding each other like children?”
“Why is giving each other the space we both so clearly want childish?”
“You guys had sex on a counter in Vegas. Not talking to each other when living in rooms that share a wall is immature. Did you all even clear the air about the hookups?”
“It was mentioned.”
“And…”
“We decided not to talk about it and to pretend like it didn’t happen.”
“Wow, really proving me wrong,” Elise says. I know she’s staring at me with a smug smile on her stupid face, but I choose to ignore her and focus on my mascara instead.
“You need to talk to him, Lila. I know you care about him in some dark recess of your heart. I’m not telling you to sleep with him. Just be his friend.”
Ugh. The same thing Jameson told me to do. Why does everyone want us to be friends?
“I’ll think about it, but hey, I’ve got to run if I’m going to make it into town and not be late for my date. Keep your phone on you in case I need a fake emergency call.”
“I’m always happy to be your grandmother’s nurse letting you know she isn’t doing well.”
“Love you. Come visit me soon!”
“Love you too,” she says, and we both hang up.