Chapter 40
Easton
I’d been on the phone with Wade, constantly trying to get updates about that a-hole Derek or anything related to the case.
When I wasn’t doing that, I was either working obsessively on Lila’s place or sitting in front of Sage’s, where I knew she slept, watching.
At least I’d convinced Wade to give me the current mug shots of Milton and Derek.
There was no way I was going to give up. Maybe she thought this whole situation was a bit much for me to handle, but she didn’t know I was built to last. She wasn’t getting rid of me. I’d prove it, however she needed me to.
Wade had let me know that he and Briggs were hot on the trail of the connection between Derek and Milton, but they were struggling to locate them for questioning, which left us with no choice but to watch and wait. It sucked.
By the time I reached Chapter & Crumb, dusk was on its way, along with a healthy dose of slushy snow that slicked the sidewalks and the street. The forecast called for more snow tonight, so we were looking at a couple of inches on the roads. I was hoping to convince Lila to let me drive her home.
The windows glowed against the gray. Inside, I could see Lila moving behind the counter — quick, efficient, like she was running on some invisible clock.
Her hair was piled up on her head, but wisps had escaped to curl along her neck.
She was beautiful even when she was running on fumes.
Her signature apron was tied around her front, and I would guess that there was flour on it from her afternoon baking.
Now I knew that they often did cookie dough the day before and left it chilling so it was ready to go. Lila was nothing if not efficient.
I paused outside for half a second, trying to figure out what I could say to make things better. Then I pushed the door open.
The bell jingled above me — bright, cheerful, entirely at odds with the look she gave me when she turned.
“Hey, sugar,” I said quietly. Her lips parted, just a flicker of surprise before she tried for a smile.
There was relief there, and for a second, I wondered if she was worried Derek would actually come into the shop.
The thought was alarming. Maybe I should be sitting in here for the day, or talk to Kipp about splitting the shifts with me.
“Hey, yourself. You’re late for scone hour.”
I arched a brow. “Scone hour?” Intrigued, I stalked a little closer. “Tell me more.”
“Mm-hmm.” She undid her apron. “It’s the most exclusive event of the afternoon. But you missed it. Blueberry, lemon, and white chocolate.”
“Tragic,” I said, stepping closer. “Although those sound pretty good. I am sad to have missed them. You know what a sweet tooth I have.” I licked my lips a little bit, my heartbeat picking up.
The only sugar I wanted was right between her thighs, but we needed to get back to a good space first, so I needed to wait.
“Guess I’ll have to survive on coffee.” I wasn’t lying.
Anything she made seemed to be a solid weakness for me.
I wasn’t sure if it was because she had her beautiful hands on it or because she specialized in sweet things.
I wasn’t much of a reader, but I could eat. I smirked at her. Speaking of eating…
Her mouth curved, faint and fleeting. “I can manage that.”
She kept busy making me coffee, offering me a nice view of the curve of her ass while she did it. Not that I minded. The scent of dark roast filled the space between us. Her movements were steady, but her shoulders were tense, as if she were holding the weight of the world.
I braced my hands on the counter. “Wade told me he stopped by.”
“Did he?” Her tone was casual, but her back stayed turned. “You two talk about me often?”
I cleared my throat. “Well, sugar, I’m not going to lie to you. Wade and I talk about you all the time lately.”
That earned a small, reluctant huff of laughter. “He’s just doing his job.”
“So am I,” I said. “My job is you.”
That made her pause. She turned slowly, holding out the mug to me. “You’re not my bodyguard, East.” The faint tremor in her hand told me everything she wasn’t saying. “I’ve told you that this isn’t your mess.”
“Yeah,” I said, taking the mug, brushing her fingers on purpose, “I’m not your bodyguard. I’m the guy who’s falling head over heels for you.” I let that thought out into the world for the first time.
Her breath caught, and her gaze darted away. “You are?” she stammered.
“That’s right.” I took a slow sip, watching her over the rim. She bit her lip, worrying it back and forth in her teeth. “You really think you can push me away? No way is that happening.”
Her eyes lifted, and a flicker of anger hid genuine fear underneath. “I’m falling for you. Too much.” The words were just a reluctant whisper, but they were there, and I’d take them and hoard them for myself. My heart leapt. “I just don’t want to be another thing you have to fix.”
I set the mug down gently. “Good,” I said. “Because I don’t want to fix you. I just want you exactly how you are.”
She blinked. A small sound escaped her throat, somewhere between disbelief and something softer. “You make it sound so simple.”
“It is simple.” I kept my voice low, even. “You just don’t want to believe it yet.”
Her laugh was quiet and a little broken. She rubbed her hands over her face. “God, you always do this.”
“Do what?” I was confused by this beautiful woman, who had every part of me, even if I was having trouble admitting it.
“Say things like that and make me want to…” She stopped herself, biting her lip. “You make me want to stop pretending I’m fine.”
I stepped around the counter before I could think better of it. She didn’t back away this time. Her chin tilted up, defiant and vulnerable all at once, and I saw the glimmer of unshed tears before she dropped her gaze.
“Lila,” I murmured, reaching for her hand. Her fingers were small and trembling slightly in mine. “You don’t have to pretend around me.”
Her voice came out as a whisper. “If I stop pretending, I might fall apart.”
“Then fall apart,” I said. “I’ll still be here. Isn’t that what having a relationship is all about? Being there for each other and not being perfect. I’m here for the mess and everything in between.”
That did it. The first tear slipped free, and then she was moving — stepping into me like she’d run out of places to hide. My arms came up automatically, wrapping around her, pulling her close until her forehead pressed against my chest like she liked to do.
“Gonna rub your boogers on me, Lila Merrick?” I teased, laying my head against her hair.
“Part of the package, Easton Holt. You want all of me?”
“Definitely.”
“Then you get the boogers too.”
She fit there just like she was meant to, tucked under my chin and close to my heart.
Her breath came unevenly at first, shallow little gasps that eased against my shirt.
I could smell all the familiar things I now associated with Lila.
Sugar and coffee with just a trace of vanilla.
I was so thankful she hadn’t left me hanging, but I’d been willing to keep on chipping away at her resistance if I had to.
After a long time, she spoke, voice muffled. “I keep thinking if I just act normal, maybe he’ll go away.”
“Derek?”
She nodded against me. “But now maybe he’s working with Milton. That’s what Wade thinks. Maybe.” Her head shook against my shirt.
Wade had told me the whole crazy story, but I was having trouble with it. So I figured she would be too. “I’m not sure what to think either, but it’s possible. They’re not going to just disappear,” I said quietly. “But that doesn’t mean you’re on your own.”
Her hands fisted in my shirt. “You shouldn’t have to deal with this.”
I tipped her chin up so she had to look at me. “I deal with broken things every day, sugar. Houses, walls, foundations. It’s what I do.” I leaned closer to her so I could reach out and graze my thumb to brush the edge of her jaw. “But you’re not broken. You’re just tired. And that’s allowed.”
Her eyes softened, glassy with tears she didn’t bother to hide anymore. “You make it hard to stay away, you know that? I was trying to do the right thing.”
“Good,” I said, a small smile tugging at my mouth. “I want to be where you are. And I’m charming. I knew I’d wear you down. I still need to earn my five-star review.”
That earned me a watery laugh. “Charm? Is that what you call it?”
“Is it working?”
She rolled her eyes, but the tension in her shoulders eased. Then, without warning, she leaned in and kissed me.
God, I’d missed my mouth on hers. When she pulled back, she stayed close, her breath brushing my cheek.
“You feel like home,” she whispered.
The words hit deep. “Then I’m not going anywhere,” I said.
“Okay,” she murmured, and that tiny flicker of belief glowed faint and steady in her eyes. “Then I won’t either.”