11. Lila
CHAPTER 11
Lila
The first few hours of my first official shift went by relatively smoothly I’d say.
Before we opened the bar, Desi gave me pointers on a few drinks I wasn’t entirely comfortable making yet. Once I felt more confident with that, we moved on to restocking the fridge, stowing clean glasses away, and flipping the chairs atop the tables down. In between wrapping the silverware in napkins, I told her about driving up to the ranch and practically reuniting with half of the Adlers in one go. Then I told her about running into Travis.
“Hold on a second. You mean to tell me that you guys finally— finally —talked?” Desi stopped what she was doing, holding the chair mid-air before she could place it down. Her bright red hair was tied in a messy bun with wisps framing her face.
“That’s what I said.” I nodded.
“You patched things up and now you’re…friends?”
“Yeah? Did I not just say all of that a second ago?” I asked with an arched brow as I placed the wrapped silverware in the bin .
Desi finally set the chair down and slumped into it. “And he said he wanted to be friends?”
“Well…yeah?” I didn’t understand why she was confused by that.
Desi shakes her head at me, “And you’re both okay with that?”
“I’m starting to wonder if you’re okay.” I frowned. “I thought you’d be happy about this. What’s wrong with being friends?”
“Nothing,” Desi practically whined like a little kid. “I’m sure you’ll both figure it out…as friends.”
That last part was a mumble, but I heard it loud and clear. I sighed. “Please don’t do that.”
“Do what?” Desi feigned innocence, standing up to carry the bin now full of perfectly wrapped silverware.
“You know what. You know nothing good will come of me and Travis trying anything more. We tried that once and it didn’t end well.” Because I ran. “And besides, he’s my boss now. It would just complicate things, and we’re both too busy for complicated right now.”
Desi’s shoulders slumped. “I hate it when you talk sense even when I think you’re wrong.”
I chuckled, hauling my own bin and following her behind the bar to slide them under the counter. I wrapped my arms around her and she returned the hug. When I pulled away, I said, “Enough about that. Tell me something good now.”
Desi’s lips quirked up, but I could tell she was trying to hide it.
“What’s that look?”
“Well, I might have met someone,” she admitted.
“Who? Anyone I know?” Desi hadn’t been super huge on dating lately. The last guy she went out with had been in college but that ended once she moved back to Willow Vale. So, I was surprised she’d started seeing someone all of a sudden.
Desi told me about this guy who stopped by the bar over the weekend. He wasn’t familiar so she figured he wasn’t from around these parts. He caught her eye while she was singing with the band, sitting on the stool closest to her. He bought her a drink and they talked until it was closing time. They’d been texting non-stop for the past week ever since.
By the sound of it, she was utterly charmed by him and seeing my best friend happy made me happy for her.
“He’ll have to stop by while I’m working so I can meet him.”
“Oh, he will.” She grinned. “If Travis hasn’t scared him off, I don’t think anything will.”
By the time five o’clock rolled around and more people started coming in, I was a buzzing mess. I’d never popped caps off beers as many times as I had in one night in my whole life.
People loved to chat at the bar, voices rising and falling in a sea of noise over the jukebox playing the upbeat tune of a Don Williams song. Since the band wasn’t playing tonight, people were going up to the jukebox every chance they got. Booming laughter carried across The Rusty Pint from the pool table where I spotted Finn and a couple of his friends gathered around, playing games and losing it over whatever Finn was saying while flashing a boyish grin. I think I saw one of his friends do a spit take of his beer at one point.
There was only one who didn’t look as rowdy as the rest of the group. The man was leaning against the wall with a beer in hand, grinning at Finn like this was his typical behavior when they were out. He looked familiar but I couldn’t really make out his face to place him.
“He’s still the same as always, huh?” I asked Desi when we finally had a lull.
She finished wiping the counter with a rag before peering up at Finn. She shrugged but smiled with affection when Finn made his friends laugh again, their voices overlapping despite the busy crowd around us. “Sometimes I can’t believe he’s related to Travis. Polar opposites if you ask me.”
I’d seen Travis weaving between the crowd earlier with his signature irritated scowl when he got catcalled by a group of old ladies sitting at a round table, hollering and whistling like a couple of horny young men. Apparently, that was a recurring theme with the ladies of Willow Vale.
I realized why they were making such a commotion when I noticed he was wearing a white t-shirt under an unbuttoned flannel and dark jeans that made him look good. Incredibly good. As in, it was hard not to stop and stare at him kind of good. I couldn’t say I blamed the ladies for gawking at him. When I caught myself becoming one of those ladies, I quickly looked away. I did not need to admire how attractive the man was.
We were going to be friends. Nothing more and nothing less, so I needed to stop staring.
And yet, I still felt my attention going to him whenever he was near. Like a beacon of light. Desi was right, he and Finn were polar opposites—but not in the way she probably thought. Finn was bright and welcoming at all times. But Travis had always held this comforting presence about him. An unmistakable sense of calm.
When I finally got a break, I wandered around the corner and walked down the hall to check my phone for any messages or calls that I might have missed from Amelia. There were a few missed calls from my mother again and a very angry text that she sent an hour ago. But I ignored it when I saw that Amelia had texted me a picture of River napping on the couch.
I was too distracted with replying to her to notice someone standing behind me.
“Everything okay?”
I startled and turned around to find Travis, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against his closed office door. His stance wholly tense, as if ready to take action at any moment. As if with one word from me admitting something was wrong, he wouldn’t hesitate to do something to fix it. I knew Travis had said we could start over and move past everything, but I still couldn’t help but feel surprised by this unwavering protectiveness he radiated my way.
I choked out an answer before he started questioning why I was gaping at him like a fish washed up on a shore. “Yep!” I cringed at the forced cheeriness in my voice. “Just checking in with Amelia. Sorry. I’ll head back over.”
Travis didn’t move. “You’re good.”
I should have just left it at that and gone off to the bar. That would have been the smart thing to do. Except it seemed that my mind was all out of smart ideas because I started rambling. “I just…it’s never easy leaving River alone for so many hours. It makes me anxious. I’m so used to being with him.”
Travis was quiet for a moment and then he rasped, “How was it? Raising a baby, I mean.”
Such a loaded question, and yet I didn’t feel burdened by it. I couldn’t help the smile that took over, the joy that warmed my heart at the memory of a baby River in my arms while I rocked him to sleep every night .
“It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’ve never been so scared in my life.”
He frowned. “Scared?”
I nodded. “I was terrified I’d do something to hurt him with one careless maneuver. When we took him home from the hospital, my grandpa and I tried to unbuckle him from his car seat and neither of us knew how to pull his little arms out from beneath the straps. We were too scared to hurt him because he was so small. He was born premature because of…Irene’s addiction, and that impression stayed with me for months after. I remember crying when we finally got him out.” I released a breathless laugh.
He smiled softly, listening to me as I continued.
“It was so silly, but it was truly terrifying. I remember thinking how fragile his little bones were when I carried him in my arms. Those first few days were exhausting when we finally settled him at home. He fussed and cried all the time if I wasn’t holding him, which made it impossible to leave the room for longer than a few minutes at a time.” My smile dropped and so did Travis’s when he noticed my mood shift slightly. I sighed. “I was young, had no idea what I was doing, and suddenly I was in charge of keeping another person alive and safe . Nothing can really prepare you for that, I guess.”
I don’t think it hit me until that night when I realized…realized that I was taking on a role to be a mother in some crazy, wonderful yet incredibly sad way. I’d become a mother to a baby who hadn’t been born from the roots of love. And then, Irene had walked away from him so easily.
So, I promised I would love River with everything I had because she couldn’t, wouldn’t , love him nearly as much as he deserved if she had stayed .
“As scary as it was, it was also the best thing that could have ever happened to me. Because I have River now.”
“You have River now,” Travis said softly, still leaning against the wall as a tenderness swept across his face.
I had no idea why I was suddenly pouring my heart out to him. I should have stopped. Kept it all inside. I never told anyone how those first few months really changed me. How it affected how I thought and slept. How everything changed for me.
Still smiling, I said, “My fears never really left me. Even now when he’s running around like a wild child and happier than ever, I still worry I’m going to do something to ruin it. That I’ll disappoint him.”
He shook his head. “From the moment we ran into each other, all you’ve talked about is River. And that’s not a bad thing. It’s clear to me that everything you do, you do for him. If that isn’t a good mother, then I don’t know what is. Even if you do disappoint him, River will love you no matter what, Delilah.”
A good mother.
Not sister. Not guardian. Mother.
Clearing my throat, I rushed out, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said all?—”
“You don’t realize how incredible you are, do you?” he asked, cutting me off.
“I…” My words caught in my throat at the intensity in his gaze. I knew he meant every word he said. My cheeks warmed at his admiration, loving and hating how honest he could be when I least expected it. “Thank you, Travis.”
I met his gaze as he murmured, still rooted to the spot while feeling a little too close. As if he were standing a breath away and not a few feet. “Thank you for sharing that story with me. ”
We were both pulled out of our conversation when our phones buzzed at the same time.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw that Amelia responded to my text. I read her message and froze at the same time Travis murmured something under his breath about his parents always meddling. Amelia was inviting me and River for dinner on Sunday with the whole family.
The whole Adler family.
When I told Travis as much he said with a sigh, “I wouldn’t bother trying to get out of it,” then pushed off the door and walked my way. “If you thought I was stubborn, just try to tell Amelia no. The woman doesn’t know the word.”
“How could I forget? She’s the one you got that stubborn streak from. It definitely wasn’t from Desmond.”
We shared a chuckle as we walked back toward the front of the bar. My break was over before I knew it, too lost in Travis to think about looking at the time at all. Before we rounded the corner though, I placed a hand on his elbow to stop him. Travis turned and faced me with an arched brow. He let me gather the courage to find my words and when they finally bubbled up, I said what I felt deep in my heart.
“It’s good that we can be friends again, right?”
Travis’s jaw ticked but the chime of the door of The Rusty Pint swinging open interrupted whatever he was about to say. We headed out to the floor in time to spot none other than Travis’s sister walking in.