13. Lila
CHAPTER 13
Lila
My first week working at The Rusty Pint went by without a hitch, much to my utter shock.
The more I took orders, the more I concentrated on remembering how to make certain cocktails, the faster I got behind the bar. I didn’t initiate a lot of conversations but occasionally I’d run into a familiar face. Some were kind and greeted me with a smile, while others whispered amongst themselves when I walked past.
Pushing all those things to the back of my mind, I could admit I was having a good time working there. A surprise seeing as I constantly worried about River. After the third day of my pestering Amelia, the woman finally told me to calm the hell down and focus on work for a change. Those weren’t her exact words, but I could sense that was where our conversation would go if I didn’t trust her to watch my kid. I’d known the Adlers long enough to know that I could trust them. All of them. Though, sometimes it was hard to ignore my worries.
I’d half expected River to get tired of being dropped off at the ranch after the third day. But that wasn’t the case .
Amelia spoiled him with baked goods and Desmond took him around the ranch.
In fact, this morning River had woken up before me, begging me to take him to visit the ranch so that he could watch the guys work. Wanting to be around them as much as he could. Not that I could blame him. He was always with me and, while he loved me, I knew he was missing a male figure in his life.
A father.
Before I knew it, Sunday rolled in and with it the Adlers’ family dinner.
Pulling up to the main house as the sun began to settle beyond the peaks of the mountains surrounding the ranch, casting an orange glow across the grassy fields, I was buzzing with nervous energy. The beautiful scenery of Silver Hill did little to calm me down when I noticed three trucks parked in front of the house too. One of them I recognized as Travis’s truck.
“It’s just dinner. You got this.” That, and I had to pick River up, otherwise I suspected I would have given Amelia just about any sorry excuse to get out of the dinner. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to sit at a table with the family I’d missed dearly or have Amelia’s amazing home cooked food. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was…me.
I was scared .
Taking a deep breath, I steeled my nerves and hopped out of the Bronco, the hinges squeaking loud enough when I shut the door that I cringed. The soft breeze blew my curls in my face, and I pushed them away as I walked up the steps.
After my shift, I’d gone home to shower and changed into my favorite lilac sundress. I also applied a little mascara to my eyelashes and a light pink lip gloss. It was the best I could do given I didn’t have the money to buy makeup. Not that I needed it. Chasing a little boy around and rushing to get from one place to another didn’t require me to get dolled up. It was nice to do it every now and again, though. My hair was the only thing that was a nightmare to manage.
I was still tucking a rebellious strand behind my ear, hoping it would stay in place, when the front door opened.
“What are you doing standing out here, honey? Come on in! Dinner’s just about ready,” Amelia said before she turned around and strode in without another word, leaving me to trail behind her. “River, look who’s here!”
The sound of River’s excited voice was accompanied by a deep chuckle as I stepped into the entryway of the living room, expecting to find him snuggled up with Desmond on the brown leather couch the same way they had been every night when I came to pick him up. Only, Desmond was the only one sitting there with the remote in his hand. He waved in greeting and motioned across the room with a smile.
My eyes drifted to the wide bay windows overlooking the long stretch of land where River and Travis were sitting on the rug, playing with a bunch of toy cars I hadn’t brought over. Next to them was a cardboard box labeled “kiddos.” They must have been Travis and his siblings’ toys from when they were kids.
River was lying on his belly on the rug, clearly too focused on the new toys to realize I was there. Or that Travis was no longer paying attention to the game they were playing. Because his eyes were waiting for mine.
“Watch out!” River yelled before making a booming sound as he crashed his red sports car right into the toy truck Travis had stopped rolling across the floor.
“You got me again! How do you do it?” Travis pretended to be disappointed as he let River take the truck in his other little hand. Based on the pile of toy cars next to River, it was evident he claimed each of Travis’s toys as his.
River giggled. “You’re too slow, Travis. You have to move out of the way next time. I keep telling you!”
“I keep forgetting. I promise, next time I’ll try harder.” Travis ruffled River’s hair with an affection that melted my heart into mush. It was so strange seeing another man who wasn’t our grandfather play with River. Every time I spotted Desmond cradling him in his bulky arm while River dozed off on the couch, it caused a lump to form in my throat.
Right now wasn’t so different.
Seeing Travis spending time with River made my heart soar.
He was lying on his side next to my brother, one fist propped up against his cheek. To anyone else, Travis wasn’t doing something worthy of admiration. He was just playing with a little kid.
But no one other than me, and Desi on occasion, bothered trying to spend time with River like this.
Travis exuded this protective nature whenever he was in a room, just like he had when he’d confronted Victor at the bar. Something that still left me speechless. He’d protected me despite the fact that I hadn’t asked him to, didn’t expect it either, but he’d done it all the same.
If it came down to it, I knew he’d protect River too.
It was just who he was deep down.
Travis tilted his head to the side as he took in the shift of my expression, a small crease forming between his brows. He tapped River’s shoulder and murmured something before my brother’s little head whipped in my direction.
The smile he had moments ago widened exponentially before he shot up and bolted my way. “Lila! ”
I bent down in time to catch him as he launched himself at me. His little arms wrapped around my waist, and I pulled him up into an embrace of my own, swinging him from one side to the other. I breathed in his familiar scent, wishing he still had that clean baby smell.
“I missed you! Did you miss me?” River leaned back and smacked a kiss on my cheek.
I chuckled. “So much, buddy. You have no idea.”
He squirmed out of my hold, and I set him down only for River to take my hand and pull me further into the living room. “Come on! I want to show you what Travis got me!”
Travis’s lips tugged upward as he watched us approach him, making my heart skip a beat. Again. Damn this man for making me nervous and happy to see him all in one go. We’d seen each other not too long ago, and yet it felt like the first time every single time we were in a room together.
My initial reaction to seeing him was always to avoid him. But now that we got things out in the open, all I felt was my heart beating harder in my chest. For him.
But it shouldn’t.
Because we could never go back to what we were before. We shouldn’t.
“Come sit with us! Travis got me his toys. See?”
I finally greeted Desmond as we walked past him before sinking to the rug with River. He climbed onto my lap without a second thought, showing me his two favorite cars so far.
I gave Travis a hesitant glance. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he said, his voice deep and low as he asked me, “How are you?”
“Good. You?” I felt my cheeks warming under his attention like always— traitors .
He noticed, his eyes flicking to the blush across my face that only made it feel warmer the longer he stared at me. When his eyes held onto mine again, I felt my breath lodge in my chest. Then he blinked and looked toward River.
“Just keeping the little man busy before dinner. I think he had one too many of Mom’s brownies earlier.”
River squirmed when Travis reached across and poked his side, making him giggle.
“Desmond, look at this one! This one is just like our Bronco, Beth!” River shot up and ran toward Desmond with a vintage Bronco clutched in his fist. Leaving me and Travis alone.
“Has he been good since you got here?”
“He’s been great.” Travis chuckled, watching his dad inspect the toy Bronco with a little more enthusiasm than necessary. But seeing the concentrated look on River’s face as he watched the man, eagerly waiting for his approval, made me smile. They were so good with him. Like it was the most natural thing in the world. Was it silly to get a little jealous at how effortlessly Desmond, Amelia, and even Travis seemed to watch River?
A part of me said yes. I knew I was doing the best that I could on my own, but another part of me said no. A voice that told me I could be so much better. I wished it would shut the hell up for once.
“Funny as hell and quick as a whip, I’ll give him that. Very curious about the ranch too. Better look out or you’ll have another cowboy on your hands,” Travis said.
Another cowboy.
“That’s what I was worried about. I think he’s determined to keep me on my toes for the rest of my life.” I laughed, brushing that annoying curl behind my ear once again. Not wanting to think too hard on what he said—on what it could mean. Not when it made my already pounding heart skip .
River suddenly ran straight into me, jostling me as he jumped on my back. I released a huff of surprise just as a strong hand landed on my shoulder to steady me.
“Easy, bud. You have to be careful with your sister or she might get hurt,” Travis murmured as I straightened. I could tell he wasn’t serious but there was meaning to his words that made both me and River pay close attention to his subtle warning.
“Sorry. You okay, Lila?” River hugged me, gently patting my back.
“I’m okay, thank you for apologizing, though.” I reached around and hooked my arm to pull him onto my lap again, blowing a raspberry against his neck. He shrieked in delight before pushing me away.
His fingers wrapped around my hair, twirling a strand as he said, “Lila, Travis let me sit on a saddle today.”
“Oh, did he now?” I arched a brow in Travis’s direction.
He shrugged. “He saw the saddle on the stand in the stalls and really wanted to get on it. There was no horse involved, I promise. Why is that, River?”
“Because I need to ask Lila first if it’s okay. Can I? Can I ride a horse with Travis? Please?”
Travis blinked in surprise. Probably because River wanted to go on a horse with him and not Desmond, who had been with him this whole week promising he’d take him for a ride sometime. A small smile spread across his lips though, as he looked to me. “What do you say, Delilah?”
“You can ride a horse too!” River said before Travis could so much as offer. But when he nodded, I knew it was a done deal.
“I don’t know…it’s two against one here,” I murmured. I looked to River. “Are you going to be good and listen to Travis? ”
He nodded vehemently, really taking this seriously. He moved to stand next to Travis so that he could face me, his green hoodie practically swallowing up his small frame. I already knew what my answer would be, but I decided to have a little fun of my own. Humming, I tapped my index finger against my lips. “Hmm, I don’t know…”
“Please, please, please!” River begged, clapping his hands together and shutting his eyes tight.
Travis tried to stifle a laugh by running a hand over his mouth before he said, “Come on, don’t torture the kid. Can’t you see the desperation on his face? If he begs any harder his face will turn as red as a tomato.”
I laughed, “Okay, you can ride a horse with Travis. So long as I’m there. I want to be able to take pictures of you.”
“Yes!” River threw a fist up in the air in victory before attacking me with a series of kisses and cuddles. Once River had his fill of giving me all the love he could offer, his attention switched to Desmond once again and he took off to hug the man next.
“Thanks, I’ll take good care of him. Promise,” Travis said as he sat up to face me.
“I know you will.” I had to focus on picking up the toys River left strewn across the rug. Anything to ignore the sincerity in his voice, the way his eyes watch me so closely. If only he knew I’d been admiring him for the way he acted around River just seconds ago.
This time I couldn’t look at him. Not when being this close to Travis threatened to unravel me. Knock down the walls I’d built around me whenever he was around. I could feel them shake a little more every day. Threatening to crumble.
Clearing my throat again, I mumbled a quick thanks before standing up and wandering into the kitchen with the excuse to help Amelia with dinner. River was on my heels in an instant, helping me make my escape a little faster when he started pulling me away from the living room.
What I couldn’t do was ignore the way I could feel Travis’s eyes on me the entire time.