Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-One
Nikki
Victor and I have been home for a month now, and we’re still going strong, better than ever. I’m still shocked that I fought wanting to be with him. He’s so good to me, and while we still have fun, and poke and prod at one another, we also share intimate moments unlike anything I’ve ever known before. It’s incredible. I feel so blessed right now.
The late afternoon sun spills through my kitchen window, making me smile. Nothing makes me feel better than sunshine and water. I’m getting ready to do a new vlog when my phone buzzes on the counter. I glance over and something catches my eye enough to wipe my hands and pick up the phone. It’s an email. My heart thumps when I see it’s from the Food Network. I quickly open it.
Dear Nikki,
We were greatly impressed with what you did in Seaville during the competition. We’ve also taken the time to look at your highly successful vlog and believe with your creativity and passion you’d make an excellent fit with our team. We’d love to invite you to New York to discuss filming your own cooking show with us. This would be located in New York among some of the greatest chefs in the world. It’s a fantastic opportunity that could send your career to new heights.
We understand this is a big move, so please think about this, but get back to us within a week if you’re serious about moving forward. We look forward to talking. Call if you have any questions.
The contact information is listed below. I gaze at the screen, my heart thudding against my ribcage. My own cooking show. It’s everything I thought I wanted — the chance to share my passion with a broader audience, to step into the big leagues, to make my mark in the world. But now as I stand here in my little kitchen in Seaville, I’m uncertain.
I close the email without replying and slide my phone onto the counter, staring blankly at the vegetables sitting on the counter. This was the reason I wanted so badly to win the cooking competition that feels like it happened last year instead of a couple of months ago. Why am I not jumping for joy?
Do I no longer want the show? I can’t leave Seaville again, not permanently... can I? I know my friends would be sad about it, but they’d come visit me, and I’m sure I’d get time off from the show to visit them. But is visiting enough?
What about Victor? He’s opening a restaurant here in Seaville. There’s no chance he’d be willing to move across the country. We both hate cities. Is my love for cooking enough to override my disgust with large cities?
I have so many questions I’m not sure I can get answers to. I don’t need to make any decisions today. At least they’re aware this isn’t an easy one to make. While they might be recruiting me, there are hundreds of thousands of people standing in line behind me that would be glad to take my place.
I move over to my window and look out, catching sight of the beach in the distance, the waves gently lapping against the shore. I’ll keep this to myself for now. I don’t want to hear other opinions. This is my decision and mine alone. They didn’t say anything about Victor and me having a joint show, so I think the offer’s just for me.
I could call them and ask, but I don’t want to do that, don’t want to talk to them right now. Victor and I have so many plans together, and if I take this opportunity those plans will burn. If I take this show, I won’t be able to travel.
I have a nice sum of money in my bank account right now, not only from the winnings from the show, but because I have a small trust fund and make dang good money on my vlog. My videos get millions of views and so far, I earn a little more each month. Would they ask me to give that up? I don’t think I could do that.
Even though I’m telling myself I’m going to think about it, I already know what the answer will be. My dreams have changed now. It’s not just about Victor, but I’d be lying if I said he has nothing to do with it. I’m not a fool though, not one of those people who totally change their life for their partner then live to regret it. I came home because I wanted to come home, not for a man. Luck and destiny brought us back together, another blessing of coming home.
I wish this was easier. I wish they hadn’t extended the offer to me. I don’t want to think about this, don’t want to ever have regrets. I know this is a once in a lifetime offer, and if I turn it down, it won’t come again.
How many people can say they have a successful vlog that millions of viewers support? It might seem like a lot of influencers are out there, but there aren’t as many as people think. We fickle humans get bored easily. Someone might be popular one month and forgotten the next when something better comes along. I’m not so foolish as to think that can’t possibly happen to me. It could. I don’t want to live in fear of what might happen though, not when my life’s so great right now.
There’s no way I can cook right now so I decide to take a walk on the beach. I leave the house, make my way there, and walk a few miles with all sorts of thoughts in my head. The sun’s just beginning to set when I return. I look up and see a very sexy man walking my way. I instantly smile, the weight on my shoulders lifting as my worries wash out to sea.
“Hello, beautiful, when you weren’t at home or the café, I knew where to find you,” Victor says as we meet in the middle. He pulls me to him, gives me a kiss... and I instantly feel at home.
“It’s my happy place,” I tell him. He pulls back and looks at me, his brows knitting. I wonder if my earlier worries are etched on my face.
“Is something wrong?”
I immediately shake my head. “No, not at all. I’ve been thinking about what to do with the vlog, if I want to make changes, and about life. We’re nearly thirty, and sometimes I feel like I haven’t grown up at all.”
He laughs. “We’ve both grown up a lot through the years. However, there’s nothing wrong with staying young forever.”
“I agree. I want to be like Aunt Eileen in my golden years. I don’t want to use phrases like I’m an old woman ,” I tell him.
“Well then we won’t. We’ll continue following our dreams and be willing to make changes. I’m more than willing to do that for you.”
He looks at me with such honesty I believe him. It makes me think he’d move to New York with me. But would I want to ask him to do that, knowing he’d hate being there even if he does love me. We haven’t said those three little words to each other, but I feel them to my very soul. Why haven’t we said them? Are we still living in fear? It doesn’t feel like it. I’m close to blurting it out when he speaks again.
“Speaking of our future, I’ve been doing some thinking,” he tells me.
I raise my eyebrows, but wait, not sure what he’s going to say. I sort of like this about us, like that nothing’s predictable. I don’t think it ever will be. We both have strong personalities which is something else I love.
“What’s on that beautiful mind of yours?” I ask. I’m trying to keep my stomach from doing flip flops. Today’s already been a big one for news. I’m not sure how much more I can take before I have a meltdown.
He takes my hand as we begin walking, falling into an easy rhythm with each other. He’s taller and has longer strides, but somehow, we easily walk at the same pace. Maybe it’s because we’re so connected to one another.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about the restaurant ever since we got back from our trip.” He pauses for a moment. “I don’t want it to be only mine any longer.”
This confuses me. “What do you mean?”
He stops walking and pulls me around to face him again. “I want to do it with you. I want to do it differently than I originally thought. After being in the Bahamas, I want something even more light and airy. I want it on the beach with a huge outdoor area where our friends and family can gather and dance. I want to be in the kitchen cooking with you. I want to plan it with you, design it with you, and cook with you. It can be our place together. We can still travel the world and bring all of the ideas back to our place, but we can do it together, and really make it into something special.”
My breath catches in my throat. “I... I don’t know what to say,” I whisper. “This is your dream. I never even thought of opening a restaurant before.”
“We’ve both changed a lot in the past few months. I don’t see why it can’t be our dream together. You could still film your vlogs, but in a state-of-the-art kitchen with cameos from our incredible staff. You could include our patrons who’d love it. I think the two worlds would mingle beautifully,” he says.
I laugh. “I don’t know why I’ve never considered a restaurant,” I tell him.
“We can change the plans I already have, or throw them out completely and start over. When I say I want a partner, I want an equal partner. I’ll never think it’s mine and you’re tagging along. You make me strive harder, and I think I do the same for you. We bring out the best in each other. This won’t be something we ever regret if you take a chance on me... take a chance on us.”
“You might regret this if I agree to it,” I tell him.
He pulls me close and holds me for several moments. I feel a rush of emotion, excitement, fear, confusion. But this idea is giving me far more joy than that letter from the Food Network. This is something I could be passionate about, that could truly be ours. This wouldn’t be others telling me what to do.
I wouldn’t have to put on some fake persona on television. I could still be myself, and still love what I do. There’s freedom in accepting this offer where it feels like chains accepting the other. I still need to think about it, though. I’ve never been impulsive, and don’t want to start being that way now when making one of the most important decisions of my life.
“It’s okay for our dreams to change, Nik. I thought I’d be a mechanic when my time in the military was over. My dad took it so well when I told him I had a different dream. I’m happy, happier than I’ve ever been. Don’t give me an answer today, but think about it. I’ll support you no matter what you decide. It won’t affect us. We’re meant to be together whether we share a business or not.”
How is it possible to have two incredible offers in one day? Is fate playing tricks on me? Is there a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other? Both offers sound like a dream. One simply appeals to me more. I don’t have to choose either though. There’s freedom and fear in knowing this.
“I’ll think about it,” I tell him, my voice barely above a whisper.
He pulls me close again and kisses me. “Good. We won’t discuss it anymore tonight. We won’t discuss it again until you’re ready. I don’t want to pressure you. I also don’t want to push my dreams on you. I want you to do what you love as much as you encourage me to do what I love. We’re a team, Nik, and that’s the one thing I don’t want to change.”
He kisses me again and my heart beats faster. Then he turns our bodies and stands behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist as we watch another glorious sunset in our favorite place in Seaville. I gaze out at the horizon, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts. I have a week to decide what to do. I’m sure whatever decision I make, I’ll be happy with it. That’s all I can ask of myself.