Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Two
Nikki
I’ve never been so terrified... or so sure about anything in my life. Turning down the Food Network feels like jumping from an airplane with no parachute. Who does that? I’ve carefully worked on my email for the last two days. I read over it for the hundredth time. It’s now or never. I finally hit the send button and my stomach flips while my heart thunders against my ribs. I’ve done it.
For years I dreamed of my own national television show, of seeing my name in lights, of having people recognize me so I could say I’ve made it. I’ve worked hard building my brand, pushing myself to the edge and beyond, believing fame actually means something and success is what gives us happiness. I realize now how wrong I was.
All I need to be happy is right here in my small town of Seaville where I’m surrounded by friends and family, where I have the love of my life at my side. This is happiness. I don’t care anymore if no one knows my name. Who really wants the reality of fame? It seems appealing on one side. But fame brings trauma.
If I’m famous I won’t be able to take my future children to Disneyland without bodyguards. If I’m famous I can’t go to the beach and have a bonfire without worry. Fame is highly overrated. I’d rather simply be me and live my life to the fullest without cameras following me everywhere.
Sure, I’ve been recognized from my vlog, but those sightings are few and far between. And the people who’ve come up to me are regular people with a passion for cooking. They aren’t wanting to invade my life. I love my followers. I couldn’t have the dream of cooking every day for a living without them. I want to meet them, want them to say hi. But I no longer want fame. I don’t want people to want to meet me because I’m on television. I want those who follow me to chat about their favorite recipes and their passion for cooking. It should be about them and not me. My how I’ve changed in the past few months. I like it.
I have no regrets about sending the email. It’s done. The Food Network is off the table and a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. This allows me to think about Victor. I still haven’t told him about the offer. I will today. I want to share everything with him. He’ll understand that I needed to make this decision on my own. We can be partners and still have separate lives at times. We don’t want to be the same person. That would be boring.
I love how his eyes light up every time he looks at me, love the way his arms tighten and he holds me as if he’ll never let go, and love that our hearts beat as one. I also love that we have two separate minds that challenge each other. We really are meant to be. I’ve found my place in this world, and from here on out, life will continue to get better with each new dawn.
I need to find him. He’s most likely at his dad’s shop right now. He’s paused everything on the restaurant until he hears what I want to do. This is how I know he’s serious about partnering with me. He doesn’t seem upset about it at all. And though it’s been a week since we had our conversation on the beach, he hasn’t pressured me once, or even seemed upset that I haven’t made a decision. He’s the same loving man he’s been from the moment we decided to be in a relationship.
I move along the streets, listening to the waves gently crashing on the shore, enjoying the scent of salt in the air, and love the sound of Seagulls griping at me for walking by and not feeding them. This place really is home. It’s not just a place to lay my head, but a place to thrive. Victor’s a huge part of that.
I need to talk to Victor now. If I message him he’ll drop anything to come when I need him. But taking this walk is necessary. It’s not an emergency. I took a week to make this decision. A few more minutes before I talk to Victor isn’t going to hurt me.
I make my way to the shop and no Victor. There’s only one more place he might be. If he’s not, I’ll have to send that message because I don’t think I can stand waiting hours to talk to him.
I move away from the shop and make my way to Robert’s bar, smiling when I see the backdoor open and hear Victor’s voice. I stare in at him standing at the oven, his elbows deep in dough, flour dusting his forearms and shirt. It makes me smile. He loves this kitchen because he gets to visit with Robert, feed the patrons, and maybe have a beer or two while doing it.
Robert never turns him down because it draws in crowds. Robert is more than happy for his friend to be opening his own place, but he’ll miss having him at the bar from time to time. There’s no competition between them as there’s plenty of room in town for multiple places to eat.
As I continue watching him, Victor’s mumbling something under his breath, probably a recipe or some new technique he’s trying out. His brow furrows in concentration, his lips set in a determined line. My smile grows. This is Victor, the man who always pushes himself, but also knows when to let go and laugh.
He might get frustrated at times, but he’s happy ninety-nine percent of the time. He’s this way because he chooses to be. He says happiness is a choice, and he chooses not to let the world get him down, not to allow himself to get stuck in his own head. I wish it was that easy for the rest of us. It’s easier for me by simply being with him.
I must make a noise because he turns. When he sees me, his face softens, a smile breaking across his face. “Hello, beautiful,” he says as goes to the sink and washes his hands then grabs a towel and dries them. “What a nice surprise to have you here.”
I laugh as I step forward. “You look so good in the kitchen,” I tell him.
“Dang right I do,” he says with a wink. “Nearly as good as you look.”
“Oh really? Are you one of those men who think a woman should be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen?” I tease.
He throws his head back and laughs. “Now that’s an image I want to see in real life,” he tells me. He’s still teasing but I see a serious light in his eyes. I don’t know why I haven’t thought about having children with him, but now that the thought is in my mind, I fear it won’t ever go away. I’ve always assumed I’ll be a mother. Will Victor be the father? I like that thought a whole lot.
This isn’t a road we can take right now, not with everything else on my mind. “I made a pretty huge decision today,” I tell him.
His eyes gleam and I know he’s thinking I’ve come to talk about the restaurant. Maybe, but my other news first.
“What decision?” he asks, practically giddy. I can’t imagine how much it would hurt him if I told him I didn’t want to do it. I believe him that he wouldn’t hold it against me, but there’s no doubt it would hurt him.
I take in a deep breath, the words feeling like they’re stuck in my throat. I push them out anyway. “I got an offer last week from the Food Network to talk about a show,” I spit out.
His eyes widen in surprise. I see a bit of panic in his expression. It’s not because he fears me being more successful than him, it’s because he fears losing me. I don’t leave him hanging.
“I would’ve had to move to New York. I think I knew the second I read it that I was going to turn it down, but I forced myself to wait a week. I sent the email today to turn down the offer. I love my life here, and don’t ever want to live in a big city again.”
For a moment there’s silence. The air between us feels thick, charged with the weight of what I’ve said. I’ve had a week to think about this. I can give him a few minutes to process it all. I’m not sure what his reaction will be.
Finally a big smile breaks out on his face and he pulls me to him for a back-breaking hug. “I’m so damn proud of you, Nik. Do you know how few people get an offer like that? For you to turn it down is crazy, but I’m not complaining. I’d move for you, but I can’t stand city streets. They smell bad and are too crowded.”
I laugh with joy as he holds me. “Those were my thoughts exactly,” I tell him. “Plus, I can’t leave here. I don’t want to chase something that will never feel as right as this does here in our small town. I want to build something here... with you.”
His face is glowing as he looks at me, realizing what I’m telling him. “Are you sure, Nik? These are a lot of big decisions in one day. You don’t have to decide right now.”
“Have you changed your mind?” This isn’t something I’ve considered.
He vehemently shakes his head. “No way. But I want you to be as happy as I am,” he assures me.
“I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to be happier than you. You’re the most balanced person I’ve ever met,” I tell him with a laugh. “But, yes, Victor, I’m sure. I’ve never been surer of anything in my entire life... other than you.”
He beams as he lifts me from the ground and spins me in a circle, letting out a whoop that has Robert peeking through the bar window at us. He smiles, then turns away giving us privacy. He’ll surely be listening in though. There’s no way anyone in this town will miss out on gossip, especially if they think they’re going to be the first to hear it.
I’m dizzy by the time he sets me down, but I’m still smiling. His face suddenly goes serious as he reaches up and cups my cheeks, adoration shining in his eyes. Damn, I truly do love this man.
“I didn’t want to pressure you, Nik, but this makes me happier than you can imagine.” He pauses for a moment and his voice lowers. “I love you. I think I’ve loved you since high school, but was too stubborn to realize it. I love you so much, the thought of not being with you rips me apart. We will merge our dreams, and they’ll make us soar.”
My breath catches in my throat, and for a moment, I can’t speak. The words hang between us, heavy and beautiful. I beam at him. “I love you too, Victor. Maybe that’s what it was back in high school for me as well, but I’m so dang stubborn, and looking at you as a competitor was easier for me. I won’t ever let you go.”
His grin is so wide I think his face might split in half. He leans in and kisses me, and I melt against him. Everything in our lives is falling into place. His lips are warm and soft against mine, his hands gentle but firm as he holds me. It’s long moments before we pull back, both of us breathless.
“Where do we go from here?” I ask. My life’s been flipped upside down and all I feel is excitement.
“We start planning. We open our beachside restaurant that we plan from the ground up. We combine your talent and my... well, whatever it is I do, and we make it all work,” he says with a laugh.
“Humble doesn’t work on you, Victor. You know what a rockstar you are.”
He laughs as he shrugs. “Yeah, I’m pretty damn good, but nothing compared to you. That’s okay, though, because together we’re unstoppable.”
“We need to start planning. We’ve made the decision so I don’t want to waste any more time,” I tell him.
He laughs again. “We don’t have to start right this minute. Robert will kill me if walk out on him now after promising goodies for the patrons. He’s already sent out a social media post to the regulars.”
“Patience isn’t one of my virtues,” I tell him.
“I’m shocked to hear that,” he teases. “You can sit here and spit out ideas while I cook,” he suggests.
“I like that,” Robert calls in, proving he’s listening to us. Victor and I both laugh.
“Don’t worry, Robert, I’ll get the food out,” Victor tells him. He then moves over to the counter and continues what he was doing when I rudely interrupted him. I have no regrets. I pull up a stool and watch.
“We should find the perfect land. That’s the first step,” I say.
“We already know our menu will be everchanging, but that doesn’t mean we can’t put together a book of ideas of what we want on the menu. We should have some staples that are always there for our creatures of habit,” Victor says.
“That’s a great idea,” I tell him. I pull out my phone since I don’t have paper and a pen. I start taking notes as he cooks, and we both spit out ideas. “We can do comfort foods that are permanent, and the more exotic foods will be what changes.”
“I love it. We could even do theme months, or if there are too many choices for us to choose only twelve, we could do theme weeks. Jamaican, Italian, Korean, Japanese, Mexican... and many, many others,” he suggests.
“That’s brilliant,” I tell him. “We don’t have to make those months permanent, we could simply feature that as the food of the month. The next year that month may have an entirely different culture.”
“We both know the importance of sourcing locally as much as we can. When we do other cultures we’ll do our best to use locally owned places to buy our ingredients,” he says.
“I love what a big heart you have, Victor Fortier.”
“My dad has one of those small shops. I like to support other businesses who are trying to take care of a family.”
“We have plenty of fresh, local seafood, and plenty of produce right here from the farmers market so half our supplies will come from right here in Seaville, which I really love,” I say.
He stops cooking for a moment and walks over to me, leans down and kisses me again. “I love that we’re doing this, Nik. You’ve made me happier than you can imagine.”
“You do the same for me every single day,” I tell him.
He goes back to cooking, and we keep talking. My phone is full of notes as we brainstorm. Robert comes in and offers some fantastic ideas as well, and it’s mind-boggling how close we are to making this dream a reality. I know there’s a lot of work ahead of us, but it’s real now. Our decision is made.
We make one set decision before our planning is over. Our restaurant will be called The Tide . After all, it’s our love of this town, the outdoors, and most especially the ocean, that brought us both back home.
The future no longer feels scary to me. I know who I am and now I know where I’m going, and it’s not far at all, but it’s sure to be filled with wild adventures. With Victor by my side, there’s nothing I can’t do.