Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
LUCAS
Lucas’s routine was completely thrown off by the incident in the hallway.
And Gage was back to shaking and angry, a different person than the one Lucas had always known.
This Jonny and Sara—or whatever the fuck her name was—they had scarred his friend.
They’d created a darkness in him that Lucas wasn’t used to.
And it scared him.
They returned to their little pillow nest after Frankie went back to his place, and Lucas braced himself for Gage to fall apart. Instead, his friend turned toward him and took his hand, tracing the lines on his palm.
“Do you like him?”
Lucas’s brow furrowed. “What?”
“The guy. The health inspector asshole. I was ready to set his car on fire, but…”
“Don’t set his car on fire, please. The last thing your dad needs is his firefighter son going to jail for arson.”
“And you don’t change the subject,” Gage said sternly.
Lucas took a deep breath and realized he could still smell Frankie on him.
The man had clearly just showered when Gage had thrown Lucas toward him and told him to hold him back.
His hair was damp, and the scent of soap was clinging to his skin.
He’d been so fucking warm and large and heavy against him.
And there was something else too. Something bright. Like fresh chopped cilantro or lemongrass. He couldn’t get enough of it. It had taken all of his self-control not to keep holding on or to beg for more.
“Do you think he noticed?” he chanced.
Gage laughed softly. “Uh, no. I think he’s too busy lusting after you to realize you’re lusting back.”
“Shut up.”
“I’m telling the truth. Sighted privilege,” Gage murmured. “I could see it all over his face.”
“He was soft in my arms,” Lucas admitted.
“Like big and hard but soft. Is he…” He hesitated.
He rarely asked what people looked like.
He had zero frame of reference, and it rarely ever mattered.
He knew damn well he could fall in love with the world’s ugliest man because to him, the man wouldn’t be ugly at all.
He’d be like Frankie. Cinnamon-spiced autumn, and fresh spring rain, and crackling winter fires. He could lie there and listen to Frankie speak to him for hours and hours and never once get tired of it.
“What does he look like?”
“He’s got dark hair,” Gage said. He started drawing lines up Lucas’s arm—something that always made him sleepy. “Bits of grey in it, but he doesn’t look that old, so it might be from stress. He’s older than you though. I’m pretty sure his brother is at least our age. He has a kind face.”
“How kind? Like real kind or bullshit kind?”
“Real. He looked like if you weren’t holding him back, he would have rearranged the shape of that dude’s body. You can tell he loves his brother more than anything.”
Lucas felt something in his stomach—a sort of twisting, turning sensation. It wasn’t envy or jealousy. It was more a hunger to be loved with the same ferocity—just differently. He wanted to be loved and to be wanted. He craved a man who fell apart simply by touching him.
Lucas couldn’t ignore the way that Frankie had gone from ready to pummel some asshole to calm and breathing steadily from nothing more than wrapping his arms around him. That had to mean something…didn’t it?
“How did he look at me?”
“Like you were the moon and he was the tide,” Gage murmured. He was drifting, and so was Lucas.
“You should be a poet.”
“And I don’t even know it,” Gage said, then burst into a fit of giggles, rolling into Lucas’s body. “His brother was gorgeous too.”
“Yeah?”
“Mm. Big eyes, floppy hair. Bet his skin was soft. Nice smile.”
Lucas held his friend tightly. “You okay?”
“Didn’t like to see another person get hurt. Couldn’t,” Gage murmured.
“You know you can’t save everyone, right?”
“Mm.”
“Maybe work on saving yourself for once. I don’t want to lose you.”
“Not going anywhere,” Gage said. He nestled closer, and the pattern of his breathing shifted toward sleep. Lucas laid his hand on Gage’s back, feeling the rise and fall of it, hearing it as it slowed, and he let that carry him off to his own version of sleep.
He was mostly done with the pancakes before there was a knock on the door. It was early, but he had a feeling that Frankie was going to be early. Gage was in the shower, so Lucas turned the burner off, then opened the door and smiled.
“Hungry?”
“Hi!” Ah, he recognized that little voice.
He reached down for her little walker but met nothing but air.
“Sorry, I’m holding her,” Frankie said.
“I’nna hug,” Elodie said. “I haff to ask. Daddy said always ask.”
“Always asking is a good idea,” Lucas said.
He straightened and held his hands out, and a moment later, Elodie was in his arms. She was very light and very small, the heaviest part of her the braces she had on her calves.
He traced a touch over them to get some idea of how her legs could fit around his waist, and then he adjusted her and stepped aside.
“Breakfast is almost ready. Is your brother with you?”
“I’m here,” the younger man said quietly. Fallon, Lucas was pretty sure. He wasn’t going to forget a name like that.
They breezed past him, and Lucas shut the door before turning to face his kitchen. He held Elodie with one hand and kept his free forearm in front of him to make sure he didn’t tumble into anyone or anything. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he fell with a toddler in his arms.
“So,” he set her on the counter, “who likes pancakes?”
“I like dogs,” Elodie said.
Lucas burst into laughter. “Yeah? Not me.”
“No?” That was Fallon. His voice was very soft, but it was also rough and a little different than Lucas was expecting. A bit nasal. “You don’t have a guide dog?”
Lucas wrinkled his nose. “Absolutely fucking not. Dogs require so much attention and energy, and god, I cannot with the smell of dog. There were so many guide dogs at my school when I was growing up, and the smell almost sent me through the roof on rainy days. I’m way too autistic for that.”
He heard Fallon make a noise of surprise. “You’re…oh. Me too.”
Lucas grinned and tapped his hands on Elodie’s thighs. “You ready for pancakes?”
“I want cimmanon.”
“Coming right up. Someone want to take the baby so I can serve?”
“Ooh, what are we—oh.” Lucas heard Gage’s voice dry up as he stepped into the room. He caught a whiff of Gage’s soap, which he swore was not Old Spice, but Lucas’s nose rarely lied to him. He heard Gage walk a few steps, then stop. “Hi. Uh. You’re here. Oh, you have a bruise.”
Lucas turned his head to where he’d last heard Fallon speak. “How bad is it?”
“It’s not as bad as I thought it would be,” Fallon said quietly.
Gage cleared his throat. “Want me to take a look? I’m a certified EMT.”
“O-oh. Okay. Um…yeah. Yes. Thank you.”
“Come with me to the bathroom, where the lighting is better,” Gage said.
Lucas had no frame of reference, but he was pretty sure that was a lie. He smiled, though, as he heard Fallon’s footsteps trail after his best friend.
Frankie snorted under his breath, and Lucas felt the heat of his presence as he moved to Lucas’s side and reached for Elodie. “Cute.”
“Are they flirting?” Lucas asked.
“I think so. My brother should absolutely not be dating anyone at all right now after the shitshow with Charlie. But Gage makes him stutter, and that’s always a clue.”
Lucas leaned in and took a big whiff of Frankie. “You smell nice.”
“Thanks. I showered again.”
Lucas chuckled. “I did not. I smell kind of boozy from Gage’s sweat. We had a cuddle pile on the living room floor last night, and I swear to god he’s like a little space heater.”
Frankie hummed low in his chest, the sound rumbly and rich. “Elodie keeps looking at it. I think she wants to go roll around in the pillows.”
“She’s welcome to. And I didn’t realize she can see them,” Lucas said as he began to divide the pancakes and fruit between all the plates.
“They’re very contrasted against the dark couch.”
Lucas’s brows went up. “Oh my god, I didn’t even know my couch was dark.”
Frankie laughed softly, and Lucas heard him walk over, then a tiny thud and a laugh when Elodie’s body hit the pillows. “Is that weird? Not knowing stuff like that?”
“Only when people make it weird.” Lucas examined the plate with his fingertips. He didn’t know if it looked pretty, but it smelled appetizing. “Does Elodie like her food cut up?”
“No, but it’s better if you do. Otherwise, she’ll try to swallow it whole. Like a snake.”
Lucas wrinkled his nose. He’d been allowed to feel a snake swallow a rat once, and he did not want to ever do that again. “Here. You start eating. I’ll get hers.”
“You don’t have to serve us, you know.”
Lucas hummed. “Yeah, but I want to. Last night was shit for everyone.”
“You helped.” Frankie stepped closer again. Lucas could feel the weight of his presence, and he wanted more. “I probably would have made a big mistake if you hadn’t held me.”
Not held me back. Held me. Lucas absolutely did not miss the words he’d left out.
He swallowed heavily. “He deserved to get punched, but you didn’t deserve to face any consequences for it.
He seems like the kind of guy who goes into McDonald’s and asks for the manager because the burger didn’t look exactly like it does on the menu. ”
Frankie burst into laughter and swayed into Lucas’s space, his hand grazing the small of Lucas’s back. His touch lingered. “He’s exactly that kind of jackass.”
“Is Fallon going back to him?”
“Not if I can help it. He’s staying with me for a bit, and then he’ll probably stay at our other brother’s house. Fenton has more room than me. It’s just him and his fiancée, but they have a three bedroom. That’ll give Fallon time to find a new place.”
Lucas chewed on his lower lip, then said, “Would you like to come over for dinner tomorrow? Just…just you. If Fallon would be okay with watching Elodie. Not that I don’t want to spend time with her, but I thought it would be nice for you, and…I’m babbling.”
“Lucas?” Frankie said quietly.
“Mm?”
“Are you asking me for dinner for fun? Or because you think I need taking care of?”
“Neither. Well, both, but also neither.”
“I might need you to explain that,” Frankie said with a smile in his voice.
Lucas sighed. “Sorry. My brain is weird. Uh…I will have fun with you, and someone needs to take care of you. Clearly, you need it. But also, I want to cook you dinner because it’s been a bad week for all of us.
You have a kid and probably can’t go far, but at least this would give you a moment?
Also maybe you don’t want to do this at all. I’m going to shut the whole fuck up.”
“I don’t want you to shut up,” Frankie said. His voice dropped an octave, and he touched Lucas again on the waist. His fingers pressed in. “You’re okay hanging out with me even though I—”
“Yes.”
“—fucked up pretty bad when we first met?”
Lucas snorted. “Yeah.”
“And I’m older than you. By quite a bit. You don’t mind that either?”
“Do you mind hanging out with me?” Lucas fired back.
“After getting to know you?” Frankie said. “No. I—” His words were interrupted by the sound of Gage and Fallon coming back into the room.
“Damn it,” Lucas whispered. Had Frankie been about to say more? Was he going to prove Gage right that he was making heart eyes at Lucas? There was no chance to find out now that Fallon and Gage were back and grabbing plates off the counter.
Frankie leaned into him very quickly and murmured, “I’m off at seven.” And then he was gone from Lucas’s space, and all that was left in the void was hope, anticipation, and a half chub he could only hope was concealed by his very thick pajama pants.