5. Thora
THORA
E merging from the kitchen like a tortoise from its shell, Thora clasped her hands together in front of her, digging the short nails into her palms. She felt like turning around and going back into the kitchen, but she was a grown woman, and she couldn’t hide away all day.
‘How’re you doing?’ Ellie asked from the corner of her mouth as she dusted the surface of a cappuccino with chocolate.
‘I’m OK.’ Thora pushed her shoulders back and lifted her chin. She was forty-one years old and so she should act like it. She’d been married and divorced and had teenaged twins, for crying out loud. Time to get a grip! ‘I just had a bit of a shock, but I’m OK now.’
‘Good.’ Ellie touched her arm. ‘I’m here if you need me.’
‘I’ll be fine serving now. You finish baking or Pearl will want to know what we’ve been up to while she was away.’
Ellie laughed as she set the cappuccino on a tray. ‘Won’t she just? I’ll take these over to the customers and I’ll get back to the kitchen. But if you feel you can’t cope out here alone, just call me.’
‘Thank you.’
Thora grabbed a cloth and wiped down the counter while Ellie served the drinks, then went through to the kitchen. She tried not to look over at him , but her eyes wandered around the café and found their way to Lucas again and again, as if drawn by his magnetism.
And now he was staring right at her!
She looked down, her cheeks flaming, and busied herself with tidying things on the counter. He’d looked like he was about to get up and come over to her, and she had no idea what to say.
When she looked up again, despite trying not to, he was on his feet approaching the counter.
Slowly. So slowly it was like he was in slow motion in a movie and her heart beat so hard she felt sure it would leap from her mouth at any moment.
But she couldn’t look away. Not now. Now that he was approaching her.
‘Thora,’ he said, and tingles caressed her skin like a gentle summer breeze. ‘Are you all right?’
‘What?’ The question snapped out like an elastic band on tender skin. ‘Sorry … I meant… Why wouldn’t I be?’
‘Because I knocked the tray you were carrying and made a mess. I really am sorry about that.’ His blue eyes scanned her face, and she was held captive by them, mesmerised by how familiar they were and yet how changed.
They were no longer the eyes of a boy but of a man and there was a hardness in them that hadn’t been there before.
In his youth, Lucas had been so open and enthusiastic, so happy about life and the future.
But now he looked like he’d met the future and it hadn’t been what he’d expected it to be.
‘It’s fine.’ She waved a hand dismissively. ‘Happens all the time.’
‘Really?’ His eyebrows climbed his forehead, the skin no longer smooth but lined with time.
‘Well, no, but it’s OK.’
‘You have something there…’ He peered at her and she tensed.
‘Where?’
He touched a hand to the side of his head so she did the same.
‘No, you missed it. Hold on.’ He leant forwards and his hand brushed her cheek as he took hold of something from above her left ear.
When he held it out, she looked at his hand and saw that he’d found a piece of pastry all sticky with icing.
‘Looks like I’m washing my hair tonight, then.’ She got a napkin from under the counter and opened it so he could drop the pastry in it.
‘It could be sticky now.’ He nodded. ‘So… you are all right?’
How many times could one person ask that question? He must be nervous, she thought.
‘I am. Poor Ellie is baking more mince pies as we speak, though, so please try not to make a habit of it.’
He laughed, and it lit his face up, made the angst fade from his gaze and reminded her how handsome he was.
‘I promise I won’t.’
‘And how are you?’ she asked, sliding her hands into the front pocket of her apron because she had a sudden urge to reach across the counter and touch him — his hand, his arm, his face, his hair.
He shrugged. ‘I’m home to stay with Dad for a while so … Things could be better, I guess.’
‘I’m sure it will be fine.’ She wasn’t sure at all because she knew how difficult his father could be and she suspected he could be even worse now he was older.
‘Perhaps. But regardless of how I feel, he clearly needs some help.’
‘Is he not managing alone?’ she asked.
‘Not really. Not by the look of the house. I’ll try to sort things out for him while I’m ho— I mean, back in the village. I guess I could be here for Christmas.’
Thora’s heart fluttered. Lucas could be in Porthpenny for Christmas?
‘With your family?’ she asked gently.
‘Family?’ He frowned. ‘With Dad, but that’s it, really.’
‘What about your … wife or partner?’
‘No wife or partner.’ He shook his head. ‘No children either.’
‘Oh…’ She pressed her lips together, unsure what to say.
‘You?’ He rubbed the back of his neck, then folded his arms over his broad chest.
‘No husband or partner. Not anymore. But two children … well, fifteen-year-old twins. A boy and a girl.’
‘A pigeon pair, as they say.’ He frowned. ‘Where on earth did that expression come from? Who says that?’
‘It’s something our grandmothers would have said. And you’re right because it means a boy and a girl, originally used to describe twins, I believe.’
‘It’s funny what stays with us over the years.’ His arms lowered to his sides.
‘It really is.’ She held his gaze, thinking that his words were loaded with meaning, for her at least. So much had stayed with her and likely held her back from loving anyone else the way she had once loved him.
But then she’d been young and first love was always more intense than subsequent relationships, surely?
‘So … twins but no partner?’ He chewed at his bottom lip.
‘That’s right.’
‘Interesting.’ He tilted his head. ‘I guess I’ll see you again while I’m here.’
‘I guess you will.’
‘OK then…’ He tapped the counter with the tips of his fingers, then sighed. ‘Hopefully soon,’ he added before flashing her a smile and walking away.
Thora watched him join his father, then she muttered under her breath, ‘Hopefully soon.’
But as she turned to serve a customer who’d just come into the café, she found herself questioning her thoughts.
She may be single, but she was a forty-one-year-old divorcée with two children, two jobs and a whole load of responsibilities.
When she’d been with Lucas, she’d been young, carefree and na?ve.
She was no longer any of those things and so as pleasant as it may be seeing Lucas again, seeing him was all she would be able to do.
Lucas was her past and her present was quite busy enough, thank you very much.