Chapter 29 Cyrus
CYRUS
Quiet tension hangs over us like a storm cloud, swollen and ready to drench us in uncertainty. We take turns starting to speak, quickly falling back into silence. Her hand squeezes mine as we reach the tree line, her eyes filling with fear.
“It’s getting dark,” she whispers, barely above a squeak. “What if that thing comes back?”
My muscles tense. For a second, I consider telling her everything that was just revealed to me, but there’s something she needs to see first. Selfishly, I want a few more hours with her before I do.
“I’ll keep you safe,” I promise, even though I’ve never been able to before.
The agonizing truth is, I’ve always been too close to the source of her grief, too close to being the cause of her pain.
My gut twists into knots, remembering something my mama always told me: “We always end up hurting the ones we love the most”.
Jace’s lips curve in the hint of a smile.
She squeezes my hand again, signaling me to continue leading her into the woods.
The trees shroud us in darkness, even though the faint orange glow of the setting sun is still visible through the breaks in the branches.
She walks closer to me, her chest brushing my back.
Every so often, her feet catch up to mine, causing us to stumble.
“Where are we going?” she finally asks, an edge of anxiousness to her tone.
“We’re almost there.” And we are. As soon as the words leave my mouth, the trees part, and we step out into a clearing.
“The lake!” Jace gasps, taking in the meadow of snow. The blanket of white almost sparkles, twinkling with the light of thousands of stars in the clear sky above us. “I haven’t been here since the last time I came with you. Ten…”
“Ten years ago,” we say at the same time, both of us staring across the snow-covered lake as though we’re looking back in time.
When I close my eyes, an eighteen-year old Jace sits on the bank of the lake, dipping her toes in the water. She tilts her head, laughing, her ash blonde hair flowing in soft waves down her back. Life should have been simple, but even back then, the sins of my old man weighed heavy on me.
“Our first time,” she sighs, ghosts floating in her eyes. “I thought I was never going to see you again.”
“Ouch,” I chuckle, thinking about how different things could have been. She knows I’ve always had one foot out the door, and she loved me anyway.
“Not like that! I mean, it was right after my going away party, and I never thought I’d convince you to move to the city with me.”
“I should have gone with you then. I shouldn’t have waited.” I had so many chances to do things differently, and I still managed to fuck them all up. “Maybe things would have been different.”
“I think about that a lot,” she sighs, leaning into me. “Or maybe they would have ended up exactly the same. I could have stayed, waited until you were ready.”
“No,” I say, firmer than I mean to. My voice cracks. “No, Jace. I didn’t go then for the same reason I came back home. I want so much more for you than I’ll ever be able to give.”
“All I’ve ever wanted is you,” she admits, tears welling in her eyes. “All of you, even the pieces you think are too broken for anyone to hold.”
Jace cups my face, her honey eyes pools of fathomless longing, the same longing smoldering inside of me like still-glowing coals of a fire someone forgot to put out.
I lean in, pressing my lips to hers. Her mouth parts, her tongue searching for mine.
Our hands explore each other’s bodies, just like we did that first time.
I peel my flannel from her shoulders, revealing her bare body—the swell of her breasts, her beaded nipples, the outline of her muscles leading to the apex of her thighs.
I put my mouth over her nipple, sucking the hardened bud between my lips.
I kneed the other with my hand, rubbing my thumb over the sensitive rosy circle.
She moans in my ear, reaching for my cock.
It’s already rising, but it hardens instantly in her grip.
Jace uses slow strokes at first, building up to match the rhythm of my tongue on her breast. Our hands move to tear away the rest of our clothes, and we fall into the snow in a tangle of limbs.
“Are you cold?” I ask, rolling on top of her. Her hair fans out across the snow like a teal crown. She wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me closer.
“No,” she whispers, almost surprised. Her tongue flicks my earlobe before she nibbles it gently. “I suppose it’s because I have you to warm me up.”
Her back arches, her hips meeting mine. I line myself up with her entrance, swirling the tip through her wetness before guiding me inside her.
She rolls her hips, her inner walls gripping me, pulling me in.
Jace’s nails dig into my back, clawing my arms as I thrust into her.
Her body melts into mine, our moans blending into one.
The trees around us disappear, the lake, the stars, the snow, until it’s only me and her. The way it should have always been.
My muscles tense. The pressure building inside me breaks free, pleasure radiating through my body.
Jace wraps her shaking legs around me, crying out my name as I spill inside her.
Her inner walls tremble, her release mixing with mine.
I wrap my hand around the side of her neck, running my thumb along her jawline as Jace’s eyes soften, staring at me with pure bliss.
A lump lodges in my throat, and I kiss her before tears can form in my eyes.
I curl up beside her, holding her back to my front. We lay there until the moon rises high in the sky, its yellow glow illuminating the open expanse of snow. Jace sits up, wrapping my flannel back around her before she stares at me expectantly. “So, is this what you wanted to show me?”
“No.” I take her hand, standing to lead her back into the woods. “It’s this way.”