Chapter 30 Jace
JACE
Atingle races down my spine, like a jolt of electricity. Though I’m not sure where we’re headed, something about this route feels familiar. The tension in my body winds tighter the further into the woods we walk. My eyebrows shoot to my hairline. “Cyrus, are we heading back to your house?”
“No, but where we’re going is in the same direction.” His voice is soft with a distinct sadness to it. “We’re almost there.”
Footprints appear in the snow, zigzagging across the path, like someone was running.
I follow them with my gaze, mentally mapping the way they ran until they cut off into the trees.
Cyrus stops suddenly, and I run into him.
He turns to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. His hazel eyes are misty, the rest of his expression pure grief.
“Jace.” He chokes on my name, looking away while he regains his composure. “Jace, before we go over there, I need you to know I’m so sorry.”
“What? What is it?” I ask, my face twisting in confusion.
He clasps my hand, leading me off the worn path into the trees where the footprints end.
From behind a massive tree trunk, teal hair spills across the snow.
My ears ring, the woods spinning around me as I take another step forward.
A body lies motionless on the ground, covered only with remnants of its torn clothes, a light layer of frost covering its bluish skin.
Honey brown eyes stare unblinkingly into the distance—my eyes.
A guttural scream ruptures from my throat, making me double over, and Cyrus holds my sides to keep me from falling as my knees buckle.
“I don’t understand,” I sob between bouts of dry heaving. “How am I here? What’s happening to me?”
Cyrus swallows, forcing back tears. He guides me to the ground before curling me onto his lap. “I’m…I’m so sorry. I went to look for you as soon as I realized you were gone, but by the time I found you, it was too late—I was too late.”
“Am I…dead?” The notion seeps into my reality, reframing everything that’s happened since this morning. My body shakes uncontrollably, a heap of bones rattling in Cyrus’ arms. “We’re both…”
Words fail me. My vision tunnels until I can barely see. I try to take deep breaths, but my lungs fill with nothing. Cyrus strokes my hair in slow, gentle motions, and I try to concentrate on the pressure of his touch and the tingling sensation spreading over my scalp.
“Is this what everything feels like for you? Static?” I whisper, my voice as hollow as I feel.
“Mostly,” Cyrus confirms, releasing a long exhale.
“I don’t feel hot or cold. I can’t smell anything.
Everything feels like pressure or static electricity zipping through me—except you.
But maybe the memory of your body, the way it feels when we’re together, is so engrained in me, it’s impossible not to feel it. ”
“You’ve gotten considerably more romantic since you’ve been dead,” I chuckle darkly, looking up at him. He furrows his brow, frowning, but there’s a twitch at the corner of mouth, like he’s holding back a laugh.
“I certainly had a lot of alone time to think about it.” he says, running a thumb across my cheek.
My thoughts drift, my eyes focusing again on my body.
The last thing I remember from last night is closing my eyes.
There was no big moment, no pulling back a shimmery veil.
Just the darkness, like falling asleep. My heart cracks open, every emotion hitting me at once.
My folks, Brig, Roux—I’ll never be able to tell them goodbye.
Elias took that from me, just like he did Cyrus.
“Do you think they’ll find me?” My throat tightens. If they don’t find me soon, they won’t until spring, if they ever do at all. A layer of snow already covers my empty body like a blanket, more snowflakes joining by the second.
“I don’t know,” Cyrus answers honestly, chewing on his bottom lip. “If your folks report it, there’s a chance. Our families don’t have a great track record when it comes to missing people though. Neither of us ever stood a fucking chance. Keeping their secrets will always be more important.”
Phantom tears stream down my cheeks. I know he’s right, no matter how much I wish he wasn’t.
It won’t change what I’ve always known, deep down, to be true—my well-being will never be more important than protecting my pop’s reputation.
I clutch my fists to my chest, fearing if I move them, pieces of my heart will spill out.
As a child, I built a fortress inside me, shielding myself from what was happening around me, but instead of protecting me, it only made me their prisoner.
Instead of freeing myself with the truth, I stayed locked inside the world they created for me. I see that now, but it’s too late.
I reach for my physical body, now an empty shell. With two fingers, I close the eyelids so they’re no longer gazing into the winter void. “I’m sorry,” I whisper to myself, curling my knees to my chest.
Branches crack in the distance. My head pops up, waiting for the source of the sound to appear. The scent of rot drifts through the air, choking me. I look around, frantic and gagging on the overwhelming aroma of decay.
“I forgot. There is one thing I can smell.” Cyrus moves, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me close. “Don’t be afraid,” he says softly, tightening his hold. “Don’t let them frighten you.”
“What?” I croak just as two figures appear between the trees.
“You’ve brought her,” an inhuman voice utters. Shadows spill across the snowy ground as the monster steps into the open and reaches for me with a bony claw.