Chapter 19
NINETEEN
CAN YOU BE A GOOD GIRL?
B riar
“What do you think? I think that went pretty well.”
Our friends headed out about half an hour ago, but not before the girls planned a gender reveal party for us. And a shower. And started tossing around baby names. There was no stopping them once the shock of our news had worn off. When I hugged them goodbye at the door they were brainstorming where to source a cannon that shoots pink or blue confetti in the sky. Slightly over the top, but I have to admit that it felt good. For the first time since I found out I was pregnant, tonight we really and truly celebrated the news.
“I think it went great,” I agree as I start the dishwasher. It was a wonderful night, but I’m happy the house is quiet again. Just me and Holden. “Although I think I hurt Daisy’s feelings by keeping her in the dark.”
“She’ll get over it,” Holden assures me as he tosses the last of the empties into the recycling bin. “She loves you. She’s happy for you. You two just need to talk. I’m sure she has questions.”
“I’m sure she does.” I look up at the ceiling, exhaling a breath.“Holden, what do I tell her when she asks me why we’re not together?”
As soon as the words leave my lips, he’s crossing the kitchen towards me. The air is charged all around us, there’s a shift in our energy. My breath hitches in my throat from adrenaline that is suddenly coursing through me.
“Briar…”
Holden’s fingertips brush over my cheek then behind my ear, pushing away a few loose strands of hair. My skin pebbles under his touch, a shiver rolling down my spine. Holden smirks, knowing exactly what he’s doing to me.
“What? I’m cold.”
“Un-huh. Sure.”
His fingers dust a path down my neck before he’s walking me backwards, pinning me against the countertop. His chest presses to mine, and I swear I can feel the pounding of his heart. “We’re done pretending, Bee.”
“Done.” I glide my hands over his pecs.
“You’re going to tell Daisy, and your mom, and anyone else who asks, that we’re together.”
I smile and he kisses the smile from my lips. I’m a mess for this man. The love I have for him is limitless. Holden has been by my side every step of my pregnancy even though just months ago he never saw himself being a father. He’s taken care of me. He’s planning for our future. He has spent the last few months learning everything he can about a baby he’s never met.
“Is that really what you want?” My voice comes out ragged, breathy.
“I’ve always wanted you. I just didn’t realize I could have you,” he whispers. “All I want is to make you happy.”
“You do make me happy.”
“I want you to trust that I am here for you and Slugger.” He cups my face in his palms. “Now that I have you, Bee, I’m never letting you go. I’m not going anywhere.”
Oh god. I love it when he talks to me like this.
I’ve never been spoken to in such a beautiful, vulnerable way. I nod, realizing how badly I needed to hear him say that. I’ve been mistreated and thrown away in the past, but this feels different. I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to really trust a man again, but Holden has changed that.
“I trust you.”
And I’m falling so hard for you.
He reaches for me, his strong hand capturing the nape of my neck, holding me in place. It takes me by surprise but when he pulls me to him, my body goes willingly. We collide together, my chest pressed against his, his mouth colliding with mine.
I swallow his moan as he kisses me. Holden is kissing me, and I finally give in and let him take control. The kiss is demanding, as if he’s making up for not kissing me all these weeks. His fingers grip the back of my hair, and mine snake around the back of his neck, urging him on, needing him to kiss me with everything he has. I’ve waited so long for this, for him. I hold him as close to me as our bodies will allow, breathing him in, kissing him harder until his tongue sweeps along the seam of my lips begging for entry.
I taste him, my tongue sliding against his, desire and lust winding through my body. What was I thinking waiting this long to kiss him again?
He sweeps my hair over my shoulder to kiss along my jaw then down my throat. “I’ve missed you.”
“You could have had me whenever you wanted,” I murmur, my toes curling against the hardwood floor as he presses open-mouthed kisses over my skin.
“You weren’t ready. ”
“Oh, I was.” I feel my cheeks heat.
“You were always going to be worth the wait.”
A grin creeps over my face and when he smiles back, I am not okay.
Holden knows how to turn my entire body into liquid. He can turn me on with just a look.
“Mine, Bee. You are mine, and I won’t ever pretend again that what we have isn’t real because it is.” He pulls away to look at me, intensity in his eyes. “We’re real. You are the only thing that I want. You and our baby. Fuck.” He rakes his hand through his hair. “This is the last thing I ever expected to happen, but you and Slugger mean everything to me. I don’t care about anything else. All I know is I want you and our family.”
Tears blur my vision as his hands cup my face in his hands. “Don’t cry, Bee. It kills me.”
“They’re happy tears, I promise. Blame it on the hormones.”
“Whatever you need to tell yourself.” He cocks his head with that smirk that buckles my knees. Then his mouth crashes into mine in a frenzied need. My body hums with anticipation as his tongue sweeps over every corner of my mouth.
Holden is a passionate lover, and I finally know what it feels like to be in the arms of a real man. My hands fist his shirt when he begins to trail slow, wet kisses down my neck.
“God, you are fucking beautiful. You have no idea what you do to me. All I want to do is make you happy.” I whimper when he nips my shoulder with his teeth, marking me, claiming me, his need matching my own. I melt into him, letting out a quiet mewl, knowing there will be a mark on my skin tomorrow. Just the thought sends a bolt of heat to my core .
Holden Banks is irresistibly sexy. I’ve never stood a chance with him.
I’m breathless, heart pounding, as he kisses a path along my jaw. His hands wrap around me, gripping my ass and pulling me closer, tugging my pelvis into the hard ridge of his erection.
We both moan at the friction. In reply, Holden presses the bulge in his pants firmly against my clit and his name rolls off my tongue in a desperate cry. I’ve never felt like this before. The attraction I feel for him is beyond anything I’ve known. It’s more than physical. Holden is my calm in the midst of a storm. A touchdown in the last five seconds of a game. A breeze on a hot, sticky afternoon. Sinking into a hot bath at the end of a long day. He makes me feel safe, seen, loved. He makes me want a future… with him.
Holden’s mouth covers mine as his fingers slip under the hem of my sweater. His warm hands skim the sides of my ribs. “Holden,” I pant.
His hands explore the lace of my bralette, moving over the swell of my breasts as our pelvises rut against one another’s. Dear god. The foreplay is killing me, and all we’ve done is kiss.
My chest heaves as his nose brushes over the column of my neck until we’re staring at one another.
“I’m going strip you out of your clothes.” His voice is a raspy threat. “I’m going to make you come so hard your soul leaves your body. If that isn’t what you want, you need to tell me right now because once I get started, I won’t be able to stop.”
“Please don’t stop.”
He wraps me in his arms, lifting me off my feet like I weigh nothing and sets me on the counter. Slowly, he slips my sweater up my body and over my head, dropping the fabric onto the floor. “I’ve dreamt about this body, pretty girl. I’ve been dying to have it back in my arms.”
I’ve dreamt about this too. Far too many times to count.
I grip strands of his hair, pulling gently as he lowers his head to my chest. He tugs down the lace of my bra, exposing my breast. My nipple tingles and hardens as I arch into his touch. My body shudders and my head tips back in a moan when his warm mouth covers my nipple, sucking the stiff peak and kneading my other breast in his palm.
“Holden… your mouth… so good,” I breathe. I want him to move lower to where I’ve been aching for him for so long, but he’s taking his time, laving and sucking, swirling and licking. My body is on fire, my panties already soaked.
I scoot forward to the edge of the counter, widening my thighs, whimpering, until my pelvis connects with the hard ridge behind his zipper. A needy desire explodes in my body when Holden’s cock moves against my center.
I break the kiss, unwillingly, when my back arches into Holden’s hard-as-stone body. Chest heaving, my hands tangled in his hair, my eyes lock with his.
“Hands around my neck, legs around my waist, Bee,” he demands. I do as he tells me, then he sweeps me off the counter and carries me to his bedroom, kissing me the entire way.
The room is dark when he lies me down on the bed, hovering over me as he sucks my bottom lip into his mouth. “Don’t move.”
Like I would go anywhere. Doesn’t he know by now that I want him as badly as I need air?
He walks to the nightstand and flicks on the lamp, then moves to stand before me at the side of his bed. His hair is a tousled mess from my hands weaving through it. He’s wearing a simple gray T-shirt that’s stretched over the hard surfaces of his torso. He is the sexiest man I have ever laid eyes on.
And then it gets better when Holden pulls the shirt over his head. He slips his hand in his pants, adjusting his noticeable erection that’s pressing against the zipper of his jeans. When he’s more comfortable, he dips his head down to kiss me before knocking me off kilter with a mischievous smirk.
“So hot.” My hands press against the smooth muscle of his back as he kisses me breathless. I run my fingers down over his perfect ass, up his 8-pack abs, finally landing between us at his belt buckle. Fumbling, he helps me until we’re a mess of tangled limbs and discarded clothes, both naked in the center of the bed.
“Can I?” His eyes flick to mine. He’s asking for permission with his hand hovering over my belly. I nod, touched by the awe in his expression. He has seen my growing belly from afar, but he’s only ever touched it once. I hold my breath as his hand gently stretches across my navel. His lips follow, pressing a soft kiss to the taut skin. His tenderness and devotion to our baby has my heart in my throat.
Then Holden is crawling down the bed until he’s positioned between my spread thighs. “Lie back while I make you come,” he instructs me. “I’m going to fuck you, but before I do, I want you wet and aching for my cock. Can you be a good girl and come for me while I lick you?”
Oh my flipping god. This man and his filthy mouth driving me crazy.
I suck in a breath when he spreads my legs wide, nodding wordlessly, knowing exactly what Holden can do with his mouth.
“I haven’t forgotten how good you taste, Bee. I plan on having my face between your legs for a while so get comfortable. ”
My muscles tense and I clutch the sheets when his tongue licks a path from my opening to my clit. “Oh god,” I moan when his mouth closes around the swollen bundle of nerves, sucking hard. So hard, my body shakes. His tongue swirls and flutters as a cry escapes my mouth.
I am dripping wet, and it feels so good. Closing my eyes, I widen my legs even further as he continues to lick and suck, adding one finger before adding a second a minute later.
“Feel good, baby?”
“So good.” I writhe. I could lie here for an eternity if I didn’t want Holden’s cock inside of me so badly. The noises that are coming from me are proof I’m drowning. It’s an overwhelming torture. I groan again at the sheer pleasure of his mouth.
“Holden, do you—”
“Like eating you as much as you like it when I lick you?” I nod, my bottom lip trapped under my teeth, unable to speak when his tongue enthusiastically licks the length of me. “If I told you I could spend hours between your thighs with my face buried in your pussy and never be full, would that answer your question?”
He grins. A jaw-dropping, naughty smirk before going back down on me. My god, this man.
Holden doesn’t stop in his relentless pursuit and when his fingers hook inside me, fluttering against my inner wall, I see bright white, earth-shattering stars. I rock against his face, panting, silently begging him for more but unsure of just how much more I can take.
I hold off my orgasm for as long as I can until my back is arching and my hands grip the strands of his thick, dark hair. More pleasure than I’ve ever known wracks my body until I’m spent and boneless, lifeless and blissed-out. Moaning and crying.
When I finally catch my breath, I open my eyes to see Holden on his knees, wiping my arousal from his mouth, his cock jutted between us. He fists his thick shaft, leaning forward to suck on my tongue.
“I want you bare. Do I need a condom?”
Holden waits for my answer.
“I’ve been tested and I’m good.”
“I’m good too.”
He sighs. “You look so fucking beautiful sprawled naked on my bed with my baby in your belly, Bee. Do you have any idea how hot you look?”
“I’m getting bigger by the minute.” I smile, absentmindedly running my palm over my tummy.
“I’ve never seen anything sexier.”
He has no idea what his words do to me. None. I’ve always been confident in my body but when your boyfriend is built like a professional athlete and your body is changing by the second, it’s hard not to be a little self-conscious.
“You’re beautiful and I want you,” he murmurs, stroking my hair.
“I want you too.” My eyes drift down to his cock, which is rock hard and weeping at the tip.
Holden positions himself at my entrance, his eyes seared to mine. I haven’t forgotten how my body had to stretch to accommodate him, how I felt him for days between my thighs. Holden is large.
“You ready for my cock, pretty girl?”
“I’m ready.”
The look in his eyes steals my breath. Intense, like I’m the only thing that matters to him in this world. His eyes are heavy-lidded with desire, and it leaves goosebumps over my skin. He notches his erection into my opening and slowly sinks inside of me, inch by inch, stretching me. Pleasure mixed with pain. “Relax for me, Bee. Let me in.”
He covers my lips with his own, kissing me deeply until he’s buried all the way to the hilt, and I can feel the smattering of groomed, dark hair brushing against my clit. “Holden.”
“You feel unbelievable.” He rolls his hips, pinches my nipple, pulling out to the tip and thrusting back in. I am so full, addicted to the way Holden feels buried inside of me.
“Better than incredible.” I reach for his nape, drawing his mouth down to mine, our mouths fusing together in a desperate, needy kiss.
He doesn’t hold back, the muscles in his arms and torso tensing as he grinds into me. Needing to feel him, my fingers dust over the hard planes of his taut muscles until they tighten even more.
He groans a desperate sound. “Don’t stop touching me.”
I love it when he tells me what he wants. When he’s unhinged for me. My fingers continue exploring the grooves and valleys of his torso, digging into his sides.
“Such a good girl for me, Bee.”
Holden lets out a possessive growl, thrusting into me, and I gasp when he hits me at just the right spot. “I’m so close. Oh god, Holden.”
“Come for me, baby. I want you to drench my cock so I can fill you to the brim.”
He reaches between us, circling my clit with his middle finger. My legs start to shake, and the base of my spine begins to tingle.
“Holden… baby…. Oh god, right there… I’m going to come.”
Holden thrusts into me and I vibrate, coming with an intensity that I’ve never felt before. Wild shocks of pleasure wrack my body, every nerve ending exploding.
My walls clench around him. My eyes squeeze shut in ecstasy. “Holden,” I cry. The sounds of sex fill the room as he flexes his hips into my center.
“Mine, Bee. Do you understand me? You are mine. I want you to say it.”
His hand fastens around the nape of my neck as he drags me closer. “Say it, Bee. Tell me that I belong to you. Tell me that I am the only man who gets to fuck this perfect pussy.”
“Yours, Holden. Only yours. You were meant for me.”
“Mine, baby,” he cries, grinding against me one final time before pouring inside of me, unravelling before my eyes.
I run my hands down his spine when he falls over me, his still-hard cock pulsing inside my walls.
“Briar.” He rolls to his back taking me with him. “I can’t squish the baby.”
Giggling, I reach for his dark hair, pushing it from his forehead, the concerned look on his face filling my chest. “Don’t worry, the baby is fine. But we made a mess of your bedsheets. I think you’re going to have to change them before you sleep.”
He lifts his brow. “Were you going to make me sleep here all by myself?”
“Don’t pout,” I coo. “I was about to get to that.”
He scoops me from the bed into his arms and carries me to the hall. “I hated sleeping without you. I don’t plan on sleeping without you ever again. You better get used to me, Bee. I’m not going anywhere.”