Chapter 18
EIGHTEEN
CAT AND MOUSE
H olden
I’ve asked Briar every single day for weeks if we can tell our friends about the baby. So far, it’s been a hard no. She’s nervous how our friends will take the news, and I get it, but if they react anything like both of our families did, then it will be hugs and high-fives all around.
My mom was ecstatic when I told her the news. Definitely surprised, but mostly overjoyed. Ever since, she has become sort of a mother hen to Briar. The two of them, along with Barb, have been talking on the phone and texting each other regularly. My dad even got emotional when I told him he was going to be a grandpa.
It makes me happy that we have my family’s full support. Happy that Briar can feel like she’s part of our tribe.
Even though I did not have “get my roommate pregnant” on my bingo card for this year, it happened, and I don’t regret where we are today. In just a few months, I’ve fallen for Briar. And I’ve fully wrapped my brain around the fact that I’m going to be a father.
I’m flipping eggs in a pan when Briar walks into the kitchen wearing a pair of low-slung sweatpants and a T-shirt. She glides straight to the counter next to me and picks up the mug of peppermint tea that I left for her. She takes a sip, and I watch her sigh, her eyes fluttering closed, the happy sound she makes going straight to my cock.
When her eyes open, she catches me staring. She cocks her head to the side, and I smirk in response. She knows by now I can’t get enough of her. The two of us have been playing a game of cat and mouse for way too long.
The moment is broken when I glance down at the swell of her belly, and she exhales.
“Briar,” I say with enthusiasm. “You’ve popped.”
Her hands fly to her belly, which only yesterday looked flat. It seems to have grown overnight. She looks down with an absentminded smile, staring at the bump. Her fingertips trace tiny circles over the cotton of her T-shirt, and my own hands are absolutely itching to be splayed over her little round bump too.
My emotions are all over the place these days. I’m excited to meet my little Slugger, which seems bizarre. It wasn’t long ago that I didn’t think I wanted kids at all, and now becoming a father is practically all I can think about.
“My clothes are all too tight. The little muffin has made an appearance.” Briar lifts her shirt a few inches and looks down at the smooth curve of her stomach.
“Can I?” I ask quietly nodding at her stomach.
“You want to feel my baby bump?”
My brow crinkles. “Is that okay? If it makes you uncomfortable, you can say no. I won’t be upset. I’m just excited.”
I haven’t touched Briar in a meaningful way since the night we conceived Slugger. She lifts her shirt so my hand can cover the curve of her tummy .
“Sometimes I think I can feel the baby move, but I’m not sure. It feels like little flutters.”
“It won’t be long according to the app,” I tell her as my palm moves slowly in circles over her tight skin. “Will you let me feel it when it does?”
“I’ll tell you. I promise.”
“Thank you.” I exhale, removing my hand from the place where Briar is growing our baby. A month ago, Briar’s pregnancy would have been a mystery to me. Thanks to the app I read every night before bed, I know my slugger is the size of a bell pepper and growing fast. There’s no way Briar is going to be able to keep the baby a secret for much longer.
“You look good. The perfect little baby bump,” I assure her.
She gives me a long look then her cheeks flush pink. She’s been blushing like that around me for a while now; admittedly, I know what makes her cheeks rosy, and I try my best to make it happen often.
For the last few weeks, Briar and I have been spending all our free time together at home. We binge episodes of New Girl , play board games, cook together. Ever since she passed her first trimester, Briar has had more energy and her nausea has faded. She’s back to her firecracker self, funny and giving me shit at every opportunity. She hasn’t, however, been seeing her friends. I’d like to think she just really loves my company, but I’m pretty sure she’s been hiding out at home because she’s not ready to tell everyone that she’s pregnant. At this point, I’m just hoping she’s ready to tell them before she gives birth.
Briar needs her friends, and although the time we’ve been spending together has been important in getting to know each other, I have a feeling that a part of her is lonely. To be honest, I’ve liked having her all to myself, but I know how much her friends mean to her.
I’ve let her set the pace, I’ve given her time, but eventually that time is going to run out.
After breakfast, a meal that Briar miraculously now enjoys ever since she passed the 12-week mark with Slugger, I tell Briar to relax on the couch with one of her books while I tackle the kitchen cleanup. When I walk into the living room to find her, her head is tilted back against a cushion, her feet propped on the coffee table.
“I have something for you,” I say, dropping onto the couch next to her.
I hand her an envelope and wait as she hesitantly opens it and pulls out the gift card I got her for a spa here in Reed Point. She spent weeks feeling sick to her stomach and tired, working long days through it all, and then coming home and making dinner—even though I insisted she didn’t have to. I bought her the gift card because I thought she’d appreciate being pampered.
And I want her to know that I appreciate her.
“What is this?”
“I thought you could spend a few hours at the spa. Get your feet rubbed, or a massage. Anything you want, Briar.”
“Holden, this is so thoughtful of you. I don’t know what to say.”
“I give terrible massages, and I know how much you like them. You deserve to relax. You’re cooking our baby.”
Tears instantly spring to her eyes, which I should be used to by now. Briar cries at everything these days: commercials, her books, cats on the internet, every time I talk about Slugger. But a swirl of emotion barrels through me anyways seeing her cry.
“I’m sorry,” she sniffles, wiping her eyes. “I don’t know why I’m crying. This little bean seems to have turned me into a crier. Thank you, Holden. I can’t wait to use this.”
“Just make sure the masseuse is a woman, Bee.”
Her eyes narrow. “Why does it matter?”
“If another man touches you, it will be a problem.”
Her mouth falls open, jaw practically hitting the floor. “Why? You’re jealous of another man touching me?”
“Is that even a question? It’s just a matter of time before I make you officially mine.”
My back stiffens, bracing for the impact of my admission. I’m not sure exactly what we are. More than friends, but beyond that I don’t know. I have the sense that if I asked her to be my girlfriend, she’d say yes. Jesus. That sounds archaic. Do adults in their late 20s even ask each other out anymore?
I’m pleasantly surprised when she says, “I don’t blame you, Holden. I wouldn’t like anyone’s hands on you either.”
“It’s that simple,” I respond, when what I really should do is lift her up onto this counter and make a meal out of her. “I don’t like others touching what is mine.”
Her lips part but no words come out. Her eyes find mine, and I meet her stare. Silence stretches between us for a moment before she finally looks away.
“Well, thanks again, really,” Briar says hoarsely, picking up the envelope and then hurrying out of the kitchen, her blonde ponytail swaying. I’m used to this by now with her. I seem to gain an inch before I’m stopped in my tracks. Luckily, I’ve never been one to give up on something that I want.
My intense need to have Briar again has been building over the last few months. Now all that is left of my resolve is rubble.
Following Briar through the door of Buttercup Bakery, I spot Sierra behind the counter as soon as we walk inside. She waves at us as we take a seat at a corner table, her attention on a little girl at the counter who is choosing from the selection of colorful, frosted cupcakes.
Briar tugs the hem of her shirt down. “This feels risky.”
I scooch my chair closer to hers. “What does?” I ask, lowering my voice to a whisper. “Do you think the cupcakes are laced with something?”
She swats my arm, narrowing her eyes at me. “Sierra is here, and she might notice the bump.”
“And?”
She huffs. “And… then she’ll know that I’m pregnant.”
“Ah, right. My Slugger is fairly well hidden behind the table. I think you’ll be fine.” I wink at her.
She rolls her eyes, but grins. “I promise we’ll tell our friends soon, Holden. I know keeping Slugger a secret is eating you alive.”
“Yes, it is, but I’m trying to be patient.”
She looks at me like “patient” is a stretch, but I truly have been. I haven’t said a word, even though there’s nothing I want more on this earth than to share our news with the most important people in my life. They won’t believe it. Six months ago, I wouldn’t have believed it myself. People change; I am proof of that. And I’m so fucking happy.
A few minutes later, Sierra appears at our table carrying two cupcakes with purple and blue frosting.
“For you,” she says, setting the plates on the table with a warm smile. “These are from me. What can I get you two to drink?”
“Thanks, Sierra. A coffee for me, please,” I say before looking at Briar. “Tea for you?”
“Peppermint, please. ”
Fork in hand, I scoop the icing from the top, putting the sugary topping to the side before stabbing off a chunk of the vanilla cupcake. I like sweets, but the cake is enough for me. It’s a perfect bite. Not surprising, since Sierra is the best baker. So good, she opened Buttercup Bakery a few years ago with the encouragement of Grayson. The guys and I spent a few months helping with construction.
“You’re not eating the best part,” Briar says flatly.
“Says who?”
“Says me.” She flashes me a sassy grin before scooping the icing off my plate and onto hers. Her mouth forms an O as she sucks the frosting from the fork.
I take a sip of the cup of coffee that Sierra brought to the table, my cock plumping in my shorts from the expression on Briar’s face. I haven’t forgotten how good her mouth felt wrapped around my cock. It is on the long list of things I like about her— her magic mouth and the incomparable way she uses it.
I’m snapped out of my fantasy when the bell on the door chimes and I look up to see… my ex. Amy walks in, and her curious eyes bounce from me to Briar and back to me again.
“Holden, I thought that was you. Hi!”
I lift my hand in a wave at Amy, who walks across the bakery to our table in workout gear, a yoga mat in her arm. “Hi, Amy. It’s good to see you.”
Reed Point isn’t big, so I’ve run into Amy from time to time over the years. Seeing her is no big deal. I’ve been over her for a long time. Besides, there isn’t anyone on the planet who could tear my attention away from Briar.
“This is my girlfriend, Briar.” I gesture towards Briar, who looks back at me like I’ve grown a third eyeball.
Amy’s mom is still best friends with my mom, so I’m sure by now she’s heard all about the girl who is the “plus one” on my RSVP to her wedding. But it feels wrong calling Briar my girlfriend under false pretenses. If it was up to me, Briar would be mine for real.
“It’s nice to meet you,” Amy sticks a hand across the table and Briar stands in order to reach it. When she does, Amy’s eyes drift immediately to her belly. “Oh! I didn’t realize you’re expecting. Congratulations!”
My stomach drops and I swivel to see Briar’s eyes wide with panic. She chews her bottom lip, working herself up while I brace for her reaction.
“Umm, thank you,” she squeaks out. “I’m not… well… we haven’t told many people yet.”
“How are the wedding plans, Amy?” I interject, trying to put Briar out of her misery.
“They’re pretty much done. I mean, they better be, I’m getting married in three weeks.”
“We’re looking forward to it.”
“I’m glad you’ll be there.”
I shoot Amy an easy smile before we say our goodbyes and as she turns to walk towards the counter, I notice Sierra’s eyes on Briar and me. Shit. I don’t know for sure, but there is a very good chance she overheard the entire conversation.
I try to play it cool until Sierra gets drawn into a discussion with a customer.
“I think we may have a problem,” I tell Briar. “Sierra might have just heard all of that.”
Briar grimaces like she’s in pain.
Sliding my hand along her thigh under the table, my palm settles on her knee. “We’re going to tell our friends tonight, babe,” I warn her. “It’s time.”
She sighs but doesn’t argue. “Okay. How do you want to do it? ”
“We’re going to invite everyone over for pizza then we’re going to tell them our news. Sound good?”
Her eyes meet mine and she nods, then places a hand on top of mine under the table.
I lace my fingers through hers, and despite everything else that is happening right now, all I can think is: I want her.
God, do I want her.
And I am done waiting.
I jumped into action on the way home from the bakery. We made a quick stop at the grocery store to pick up a few things then I texted the group to invite them over for a last-minute hangout at my place. Fortunately, everyone can make it. Briar seems nervous, but also excited. I’ve reassured her time and time again that our friends are going to be happy for us. I think she’s starting to believe it.
Jake, Everly and the kids are the first to arrive, followed by Tucker and Jake, Grayson and finally Sierra with baby Sadie. I had pulled Sierra aside before leaving the bakery to ask her to please keep anything she may have heard to herself for just a little longer. She gave me an innocent look as she claimed not to have any idea what I was talking about. But now, when I give her a quick hug hello, she whispers, I am so excited for this into my ear.
One by one, our friends make it out to the backyard to enjoy the warm fall night. Birdie is on the grass playing with a backpack full of dolls she brought along, while baby West is in Jake’s arms looking happy as a clam. Briar takes a seat beside me. The off-the-shoulder sweater she’s wearing is barely covering her bump and she’s absolutely glowing. It’s a mystery how someone hasn’t caught on at this point.
“Give him to me.” I hold my hands out to West, then transfer him from his dad’s arms into mine. He instantly giggles as I bounce him up and down on my knee.
Everly smiles. “He loves his uncle Holdey.”
I blow a raspberry into his neck. “His uncle Holdey loves him too.”
Little by little, Briar relaxes next to me, sipping from a glass of iced tea. Every now and then her eyes slide to meet mine and I try my best to reassure her without words. Sitting next to Briar, surrounded by our friends, feels good. An incredible sense of pride that she’s my baby momma blooms in my chest.
The bubble bursts when Grayson takes advantage of a lull in the group’s conversation to ask, “So, is there a reason for the last-minute soiree, Holden?”
“It was our turn to host,” I reply innocently.
I feel Briar sit up a little straighter beside me, and I am sure her heart is pounding just as hard as mine. We were going to wait until after we ate, but it doesn’t look like that’s happening now. I turn my head to look at Briar, who already has her eyes on me. She nods, giving me the okay to tell them.
“Briar and I have news.”
Tucker rolls his eyes. “I might be slow sometimes to figure shit out, but I think we all know what you’re about to tell us.”
Daisy looks from me to Briar then back to me. “Please tell me you two are finally together. Make my whole life. Please.”
Briar laughs next to me, and that gives me all the encouragement I need to share our news. My core warms from the inside out at the sound of her happiness. I plan on keeping her laughing like that for a very long time.
“Or maybe that’s too obvious, Dais,” Tucker nudges his wife with his shoulder. “Here’s another guess: Briar put a glass on the coffee table without a coaster and Holden has called us all here to stage an intervention."
“Please just spit it out,” Everly groans, leaning closer, propping her forearms on the table. “You’re killing me.”
“First, Tuck, you’re an idiot. And no, we’re not together. Yet.” I look at Briar. “While I have every intention of making Briar fall in love with me, we brought you all here to tell you… we’re having a baby. Briar’s pregnant.”
We wait in suspended silence as they all stare at us with wide eyes, before the backyard erupts.
“Oh my gosh, this is the best news ever!” Sierra exclaims while Daisy rushes over to us, eyes already filling with tears. The guys high-five me across the table.
“Holy shit, that is not what I was expecting,” Jake laughs, clapping me on my back. “Are you serious?”
Briar nods. “He’s serious.” All eyes fly to Briar, who covers her face with her hands. “I’m 18 weeks along.”
“But… you’re not together?” Grayson asks.
“Grayson, that’s not the point right now.” Sierra shakes her head, elbowing her husband in the ribs. “Where are your manners?”
“It’s fine.” I glance at Briar and smirk. “We’re not officially together, but there’s no other woman on the planet for me and I’m going to prove that to her.”
Briar’s mouth lifts into a slight smile when our eyes connect, and my insides turn to mush. A second later she turns her attention to Daisy, who is pulling Briar into her arms. “Oh my god, girl, I am so happy for you. ”
“Okay, I need details, you two. When did you find out? Does your mom know? How are you feeling?”
“Better now. It was a rough first trimester.”
Daisy nods, squeezing Briar’s hand., “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“We didn’t tell anyone. I was in shock. We both were. I just needed time to process the whole thing. It finally now feels like it’s all real.”
I curl my hand around Briar’s thigh.
“You could have told me,” Daisy continues. “I could have been there for you both.”
Briar nods. “I know, and I’m sorry. Are you mad?”
Daisy’s palm flies to the space over her heart. “What? Of course not, but now it all makes sense. You were spending less and less time with me. I thought either you were falling for Holden, or you were going through something that you didn’t want to tell me about.”
“Who would have thought I was hiding a pregnancy from you?” Briar snorts, her laugh mixed with a cry.
“Not in a million years,” Daisy replies with a chuckle.
I squeeze Briar’s knee at the same time West releases a wail, arching his chubby baby back in my arms.
“You hear that, my sweet little baby muffin?” Everly coos, taking West from my arms. “You’re going to have a friend to play with. Uncle Holden and Auntie Briar are having a baby.”
I slump back into my chair, a wave of relief washing over me. I turn to Briar, pressing my lips against her temple before pulling her into me. Anyone we really care about now knows about the baby. It feels like coming up for a breath of air after being held for too long under water.
Now there is only one more thing I need to do. I want Briar. I want Briar to myself .
I’ve taken things slow. I’ve had to, because I know the stakes are high. I have so much to lose. The last thing I want is for our child to be caught in between us if things didn’t work. I don’t ever want Briar or our child to be hurt.
But I know I want her. I want her and our baby and our little house on Haven Harbor.
A family.
And after tonight, I am done waiting for what I want.