Chapter 28
TWENTY-EIGHT
I’M GOING TO BE brAVE
B riar
What am I doing here?
I woke up next to Daisy this morning, and as much as I love her, she isn’t Holden.
When he didn’t come home for dinner last night, I messaged Daisy to see if I could come over because I knew I wouldn’t survive another evening alone in his house. Sierra and Everly also stopped by with ice cream for me and a bottle of wine for them, and we watched The Bachelor. It was nice to be with the girls, but it was also a reminder that I am the only one not in a solid relationship. I held it together until Everly and Sierra left, but when it was just Daisy and I in our pajamas in her bed, I broke down. I told her everything—about the apartment, about wanting to stay with Holden, about him not asking me to stay.
Daisy held my hand as I fell apart. My sweet, supportive friend listened to me vent until I was too tired to talk anymore. Then this morning she got up early and made me breakfast .
I’ve been on the verge of tears all morning, too emotionally exhausted to talk about the situation with Holden. I need to go home, get changed and get to the office. My plan is to bury myself in work today until I forget about all of this, at least for a few hours. Hiking my duffle bag on to my shoulder, I give Daisy a hug goodbye. “Thanks for everything, Dais.”
“It’s going to be okay, Briar. But you need to talk to him.”
I press my lips together, unsure of what to say to Holden now, and nervous about how he’ll respond.
She nods her head, folding her arms over her chest. “He would have said yes.”
“If I asked him if I could stay?”
“Holden is so far gone for you. Think about it, Briar. There must be a misunderstanding somewhere.”
“Maybe you’re right.” I shrug one shoulder. “Thanks for last night. I love you.”
“Anything for you.” She smiles.
I drag myself to my car. Thinking over Daisy’s advice, I am starting to realize how badly Holden and I messed things up. I let my insecurities get the best of me. I should have swallowed my fears and talked to him. We both failed miserably at communicating.
I flip the visor down to look at myself in the mirror. There is no hiding the dark circles under my eyes. I barely slept, but it doesn’t matter. I can’t wait another second to talk to Holden.
By the time I pull my car into Holden’s driveway, tears are starting to roll down my cheeks. But this time they aren’t tears of a girl who hasn’t been chosen. They’re tears of hope. I’m going to be brave and ask Holden for what I want. If he wants something different, then at least I’ll know .
I’m getting my duffle out of the backseat when I hear the front door slam. I look up and my heart slams against my ribs when I see him striding towards me.
It’s Holden. He jogs down the few stairs and comes to meet me, determination in his eyes. And I know before he says a single word: He wants me. I feel it in my bones that he wants me to stay.
“Briar, baby…”
“Holden.”
Dropping my bag to the ground, I wrap my arms around his neck as he lifts me into his strong arms. I’m home. His face is in my neck. The hold he has on me is so tight I’m breathless.
“I was on my way to see you,” he whispers against my ear.
“I was coming to see you .”
“Briar, I don’t want you to leave.”
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying.”
He drops me down to my toes, gripping my face in his hands. His mouth seals to mine in a searing kiss, his tongue forcing his way into my mouth. He breaks the kiss before I’m ready, locking his eyes with mine. “You’ll really stay?”
“Yes, baby. I never wanted to leave. I thought you didn’t—”
He cuts me off with another quick kiss. “I know. I should have told you what I wanted. I should have asked you to stay. I never wanted you to leave, but I thought… it doesn’t matter what I thought anymore. What matters is you’re staying, Bee.”
“I’m staying.”
Holden smiles at me with a promise in his green eyes before pulling me back into his chest. “There are things we need to talk about, but we can do that later. I have half an hour with you before we both need to get to work. I need you, Bee. I need you so bad.” Then he’s dragging me into the house with him, tears still swimming in my eyes.
“I’ve gone too long without you, Briar, and I’m fucking starved.”
“I know, baby.”
“Do you realize how long I’ve had to go without kissing you?”
“I know, baby.”
“Never again, Bee. Never.” He runs the back of his knuckles along my cheek.
“We’re us again.”
I squeal when he picks me up, carrying me to the bedroom, my arms looping around his neck. Once we get there, he unbuttons his shirt. I start working on his pants.
“Take off your clothes unless you want me to tear them off.”
I do as he asks. The two of us undress, and like a man obsessed, he seals his mouth to mine. My tongue tangles with his. My hands weave their way through his thick hair. His hand dips down between my thighs connecting with my already wet center.
“You’re dripping, pretty girl.” He dips two fingers inside of me.
I moan when they curl inside of me hitting me in just the right spot. He sucks on my neck and my ear, and the entire world feels as if it’s aligned again. Nothing has felt right over the last couple of days and finally I have balance. Everything feels the way it should now that I am back in Holden’s arms.
“I will never sleep in this bed again without you.” Holden stops fingering me so he can back me onto the bed. I move to the middle where he cages me in. “Never again. I hated being away from you.”
Then he’s already notching the head of his cock with my entrance pushing inside of me inch by perfect inch. I groan. I think he does too. The moment is so beautiful, I already know I never want it to end.
“Mine,” he murmurs, dipping his head down to kiss me.
“Yours.”
“Say it again, Briar. I’m needy as fuck for you right now. I need to know you’re mine, baby.”
His words are like gasoline on an already out-of-control fire. Holden Banks is ravenous for me like I’ve never known.
“Yours, baby, never letting you go.”
My words spur him on, and he pumps his hips faster, the sound of his skin slapping against my skin echoing in the room around us. I watch him take everything he needs from me while I unquestionably hand it over to him.
Two more deep thrusts, and my back arches as I shatter. Pulse after pulse, my limbs shake as pure ecstasy washes over me.
“Fuck, I’m coming,” Holden grits out. The carved muscles of his abs tighten and tremble until he collapses over me.
I close my eyes, savoring the feeling of his skin against mine, our bodies joined with our baby boy in between us. There is so much joy in my chest, love overflowing through my limbs.
We clean up and get dressed again for work. Once we’re both ready we head downstairs. I sit down on the couch to fasten the tiny buckles on my heels.
“Stay there.”
“Holden?”
“Trust me, baby. I’ll be right back. ”
I watch him walk into the kitchen in his dove gray dress pants and a crisp white button down. I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful in all my life. I smile, feeling a little confused, wondering what he’s doing.
He sits down on the coffee table opposite me, leans over, and hands me an envelope.
I frown, heart pounding as I wonder what on earth could be inside.
“Open it.”
My gaze drifts down to the envelope and I slowly pull out a piece of paper. My eyes focus on one word in the center of the page before reading anything else.
Vancouver.
Two plane tickets to Vancouver.
“Holden,” I gasp, my heart pounding hard in my chest.
“I know you miss your mom, and I know once the baby arrives it’s going to be a lot harder to travel. I spoke to her and she’s excited to see us.”
“You’re coming too?”
“I hope that’s okay with you.”
I stare back at him, my hand drifting to the stubble on his face. “But, Holden, you’re afraid of flying.”
“I’ll do it for you.”
My chest tightens, and my teeth bite into my bottom lip. “You’ll get on a plane for me?”
“I’d rather get on top of you, but yes, I’ll do anything for you.” He smirks, looking pretty pleased with himself for being cute.
“I know.” Tears well in my eyes. “You’ve been nothing but the best.”
“I was an idiot, and I hurt you. It wasn’t my intention, but I still made you doubt how I feel for you, Briar. This is my way of showing you how much I love you. I want to fix things between us and make them right. I wanted to do something to show you how much you mean to me. I will get on a plane for you, baby. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do. I need you to know how much I fucking love you.”
The ache in his voice makes my heart bleed in my chest. Tears blur my vision. “I love you too, Holden. So damn much. You are already my whole world. It’s you, me and Slugger. The only two people I’ll ever need,” I say, my hand drifting over his jaw. “I can’t believe you’re taking me home.”
“I’d do anything for you, Briar. My life now revolves around you.”
“Holden—” This man. He always says the most perfect things.
He hooks a finger under my chin, tipping my face to his. “I can’t sleep anywhere but with you. Never again, yeah?”
“It kills me to sleep anywhere but with you,” I murmur.
Holden levels me with a look full of promises and resolution. “I won’t ever allow it to happen again. I’m yours. Tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m yours.”
His eyes close, and he rests his forehead against mine. “Move in with me, Bee.”
“I already live with you, remember?” I sass, because I know what he likes.
“You know what I mean. Call your landlord. Cancel your lease. I want you and the baby with me… in my house.”
“I haven’t signed the agreement yet.”
“Thank fuck.” He smiles, wiping the tears from my eyes with his thumbs. I fight back a smile and wrap my arms around his nape. Our mouths touch, and I hold him as tightly as I can.
We kiss and kiss, relief and joy buzzing through us. Being without Holden felt as agonizing as losing a limb .
We are meant to be together.
Holden and I loving each other for as long as we live.
“I love you,” I tell him.
“I love you the most.”
I breathe him in.
I am home.