2. Chapter 1
Chapter 1
Present Day
Hannah
O kay, this fucking skirt is starting to annoy me. No wonder my brother gave me a funny look earlier. It’s super short and keeps riding up, threatening to show off my knickers to the whole nightclub.
The techno beat vibrates through my bones. The good looking guy, who has been flirting with me ever since Marisa, her sister-in-law Nour and I sat foot in this club, approaches from behind and pulls me into his arms. He sways with me, rubbing his crotch against my bum which makes my fucking mini skirt slide even higher.
I grab the hem angrily and pull the material down. The guy slides his hands around my waist and when they land low on my belly I’ve had enough. What the fuck am I doing here?
“I need the bathroom,” I shout over the noise and point to the back of the room before slipping from his grasp. I push through the crowd with no regard for anyone. I just need to get out of here. Rather than going to the bathroom, I head straight for the exit. It’s only when the cold air hits me in the face that I can breathe again.
People in random Halloween costumes look at me curiously and giggle when they see me hunched over and panting.
The screen of my phone lights up when I pull it from my handbag. It’s only nine o’clock. Marisa and Nour have been looking forward to this Halloween party in Manchester for weeks. I can’t make them leave now.
I’m about to text them that I’m going back to the hotel room when a message from Jake comes through.
Jake
Having fun?
Jake is my best friend in the world and he hates it when I go to Manchester or London to have fun at a nightclub and hook up with a guy. I don’t do it regularly but every so often I need to escape our small village and just have fun. You can’t randomly shag a guy in Fellside because you’ll see him again. There’s no hiding. And somehow I’ve never found a man for a relationship. I’m starting to wonder if I’m not a relationship kind of person.
But I have Jake. I can rely on him. He’s always there for me and I am for him. I took him under my wing when he moved to Fellside eight years ago. The village was alive with gossip, like it always is when someone new moves to Fellside, but the gossip about him wasn’t nice. Something about a dark past in London. Jake never commented on it. He’s a quiet one, a thoughtful person. He can be broody but never when he’s with me.
I hate people judging people so to spite the village folk, I made an effort to become friends with him. Once he let me in we were like two peas in a pod. I’ve never asked him about the rumours of his dark past because as far as I’m concerned that’s the past and none of my business.
Me
Nah. I’m not feeling it today.
The minute the two blue ticks appear to show he’s read my message he calls.
“What’s wrong?” Jake asks.
“Nothing,” I reply weakly, but I know there’s no fooling him.
“Hannah, tell me.”
“I got some news earlier, and… I’m just not in the right frame of mind to party,” I try to reassure him with half the story.
“What news? Any problems with Ols?” My brother Oliver had a paragliding accident a little over a month ago and hurt his back. But he’s slowly on the mend.
“No. He’s fine. Actually, he’s probably all cuddled up with Keeley right about now,” I grin at the thought that the woman, who he’s been completely smitten with for weeks (without admitting it to anyone, of course), was surprising him today with the news that she’s moving to Fellside.
“Then tell me Hannah, what’s worrying you?”
“That’s not news to share over the phone,” I sigh.
“I’ll come and get you,” he replies immediately.
“Don’t be silly, Jake. You’re not driving two hours to Manchester in the middle of the night.”
“I can—”
“No.” Suddenly the thought of going home and not staying in a hotel and making happy small talk with Marisa and Nour in the morning is very appealing. I love both to bits, but I need to share this news with Jake and my family first.
“Tell you something. I jump on the next train to Oxenholm and you can pick me up from there.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jake asks concerned.
“Yes. Why?”
“Because I never thought you’d actually come back—”
“If it’s too late—”
“No. Text me when you’re on the train and the time it gets in,” he interrupts me.
“Okay. Thanks.”
“Be careful.”
I drop Marisa a quick message so she knows not to worry and then jump into a car at the taxi rank across the street. It feels like the right decision. I need to be with Jake now.
The train slowly winds its way towards Windermere. Once I realised that the next train to Oxenholme was a TransPennine that would travel on to Windermere I texted Jake to pick me up from there instead. Makes no sense for him to drive all the way to Oxenholme.
The closer we get to the station, the more nervous I get. I’ve no clue how he’ll react and I’m worried I could lose him over this. I inhale deeply to make the nausea go away just as the train pulls in.
I carefully climb from the train in my high heels and mini skirt. God I can’t wait to get changed.
Lights flash as I step into the car park. Jake’s small pick-up truck is parked just behind a row of taxis.
“Hey, thank you so much,” I sigh as I drop into the warm car.
“Of course,” he grins, making his dimples appear even deeper. Jake has these boyband looks that could get him any woman he wants. But in all the time I’ve known him he hasn’t had a girlfriend. At one point I thought he might be gay and I dropped a lot of hints to make it clear that I would be absolutely fine with that, but he isn’t. He went on nights out and double dates with his friend Rob, but after Rob settled down and got married, these one night stands stopped. And he never flirts with anyone when he’s out with me.
“So?” he probes.
“Let’s get home first. I want to get out of these clothes,” I buy myself a little more time. A bit more time where he won’t judge me.
Jake doesn’t push but instead pulls onto the road and takes us back to Fellside. I have a small cottage on the outskirts and it shouldn’t take us more than twenty minutes to get there. Especially not this late in the evening.
It’s pitch black and there are no streetlamps along the country road winding along the lake. Windermere is somewhere out there to my left but in the dark I can’t see the water's edge. I’m lost in my thoughts but Jake just lets me be. He’s good in reading me and he knows when I need to be quiet or when I want to talk. That’s one of the many things that makes him my best friend.
Eventually he turns into a small side road and parks on my drive.
“Okay, let me get changed and then I’ll tell you everything,” I suggest when I push open the door to my cottage.
“Sure. Want me to make a cuppa?” he asks.
“Oh, please!” I reply and head to my bedroom. I’m tempted to take a quick shower but that might test Jake’s patience to the max if I’ll do that. Instead, I just quickly change into my grey tracksuit bottoms and a fluffy hoody and tie back my blonde bob.
“Here you go,” Jake pushes a mug across the breakfast bar to me. I stir the tea absentmindedly. Jake’s eyes are on me but I avoid his gaze.
Go on. Tell him what an idiot you’ve been. Tell him.
“Hannah, what’s going on? You’re scaring me,” he sighs as he takes a seat on the stool across the breakfast bar.
I take a deep breath. And another one. I can do this . I look up and lock eyes with him.
“I’m pregnant.”