6. Chapter 5
Chapter 5
Jake
T he icy January wind hits me in the face when I climb from my car. I should have insisted that Hannah stayed at home.
Sheila arranged for me to take some time off because I’m sure she could tell how worried I was after the hospital trip. So I’m on annual leave at the moment but the storm was so bad last night that I just want to make sure the boats are okay and none of the covers have come off. The sailing yacht is kept inside the boathouse at Greenview Manor so I know that one is okay.
I’m meeting Rob at Fellside Pier because he’s helping me check the two motorboats we have moored there. He offered to give me a hand because according to him we haven’t hung out in ages. He’s bringing his wife Olivia with him. Once Hannah heard that there was no way of stopping her from coming along too because she needed to get out of the house and some girly time—her words not mine—was just what she needed.
“Oh my god look at you,” Olivia squeals and gives Hannah’s bump a pat before hugging her. Another gust of wind sends a chill to my bones.
“Hanny-bee, why don’t you and Olivia go and get a tea at the hostel? This shouldn’t take too long,” I suggest.
“Fab idea,” Olivia answers before Hannah can and the two of them stroll towards the youth hostel right next to the pier, their laughter filling the air.
“So, are you finally together?” Rob draws my attention away from Hannah.
“Sorry?”
“Did you finally tell her that you fancy her like mad?” he asks with a shrug.
“We’re friends.”
“So? Olivia and I were friends, and now we’re married.”
I pick up the small tool bag I brought with me and head towards the boats.
“But we’re not you and Olivia.”
“Oh come on,” Rob laughs.
I don’t want to talk about it. Rob knows that I’ve had a sweet spot for Hannah ever since I met her. But I made my peace with the fact that we’re just friends long ago.
“Mate, you live with her, you act like the baby is yours. You’re one hundred percent committed to her, just without getting any of the benefits of a relationship,” Rob pushes. I drop my toolbox next to the two motorboats. On first glance they look alright.
“I’m only living with her until the baby comes.”
“Hundred quid says you won’t move out when the little one is here.” He holds out his hand.
“I don’t bet,” I mumble. But really, I am not so sure myself.
“Because you know I’m right,” he laughs.
“You’re not helping, you know. I’m confused enough as it is,” I sigh. I climb onboard first boat and check the cover.
“Confused about what?” Rob asks before hopping aboard the other boat.
“I don’t know. It’s just that since I had to take her to the hospital she’s been different. She keeps giving me these looks and she’s kind of… touchy feely.”
“Isn’t there some kind of time when some women get a bit randy during pregnancy?”
“Could be that. She’s entering her third trimester,” I reply. I was wondering the same. Maybe it’s just hormones. Frankly, that’s what I’ve been worried about and why I’m keeping my expectations low.
“Entering her third trimester… listen to you. How many pregnancy books have you read?” Rob laughs and jumps back on the pier. “This one is fine.” He points at the boat.
“This one too. And I don’t know, three or four books maybe.” It’s actually six and I have a notebook at home where I’ve written down the key things to remember.
“You can lend them to me once you’re done,” he throws in casually.
“What? Are you—”
“Yes, finally. She’s three months along.” The biggest grin appears on his face. Rob and Olivia had been trying for a while and it was weighing heavy on him. He’s a bit of a clown and hides behind his laughs, but deep down he was struggling with not being able to give Olivia what she wants so badly.
“Congratulations mate.” I pull him into a friendly hug. We stroll back towards the hostel with Rob talking nonstop about his news. Just when I think that means I’m off the hook he brings the conversation back to me.
“You need to tell her, Jake.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I get it, if you really think she’s not interested in you. I know you don’t want to lose her friendship and I’m not a believer in Hollywood happily-ever-afters. I know that not everyone’s love is meant to be. But I think Hannah has always had a thing for you and if she’s finally realised that you need to show her that you feel the same way. One of you has to make the first step because otherwise you might miss your chance. And that’s all I’ll say on that.”
“Maybe you’re—” I stare at the guy disappearing around the corner of the little souvenir shop next to the youth hostel.
“What is it?” Rob turns and follows my gaze.
“Nothing… I just thought I saw someone I know.” Grant was released from prison four years ago and since then there’s been a few instances when I thought I’d seen him. It usually turned out to be just a guy that resembled the arsehole. I try to see if that’s the case this time, but the guy has disappeared.
“Why don’t you head in and order me a pint? I’ll just put the tools back into my car,” I suggest to Rob.
“Sure. See you inside,” he nods and heads off towards the entrance. I unlock my boot and store the tool bag in it. A thousand thoughts are swirling through my head and, as always, the pictures of the night when Sean died followed by the last time I looked into Grant’s face flash in front of my eyes. I was a key witness for the prosecution and had to face him in court. He didn’t need to say anything but the look in his eyes told me that he was blaming me for it all.
I head in the direction the man I had spotted disappeared to but when I round the corner I can’t see anyone that resembles Grant. It was probably just another lookalike. I walk once around the youth hostel, but when I don’t spot anyone in the guest car park either I head inside.
“There you are,” Hannah beams at me.
“Congratulations,” I give Olivia a tight hug. “I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks,” Olivia replies with a big smile on her face. She sits back down and curls up in Rob’s arms.
“Oh, your friend Grant asked me to give this to you,” Hannah says and holds out a business card. “He said it would be great to catch up and you should call him.” I stare at the small piece of paper like it’s a ticking bomb. Fuck! So it was him.
“What else did he say?” I bark. All three of them look shocked.
“Are you okay, Jake?” Hannah gently places her hand on my forearm. No, I am not fucking okay. I don’t want him in my life, but more importantly I don’t want him anywhere near Hannah and our princess.
I take the business card with a shaking hand. It’s a simple card, looks just like any other business card. Not sure what I had expected. It’s not like it would say “I sell drugs” on it.
“Did he say anything else?” I ask again, trying to keep my tone neutral. I’m not sure if I’m successful though because Hannah still looks worried.
“Just that he saw us outside. I told him where you were but he said he was late for an appointment and to just give you the card. Who is he?”
“A friend of my brother’s.” Hannah knows that I had a brother and that both he and my mum are dead, but she didn’t ask questions and so I never had to make the choice between sharing the terrible secret or lying.
But now I need to talk to her. I owe her the truth and then I need to… I don’t know what I need to do. Leave Fellside? Talk to Grant? Maybe he wants to make peace, maybe he’s turned his life around. Or maybe I’m just a fucking idiot who doesn’t want to face the truth that I might have to walk away from the most important person in my life in order to protect her. But I’ll do anything to keep her safe, anything, even if it kills me.