7. Chapter 6
Chapter 6
Hannah
T he sound of the shower is the only thing that breaks the silence. Jake’s shut himself in there but he may as well be miles away with how he’s been acting. I’ve been going over everything from this afternoon in my head to try to make sense of the change in him. The second I handed him that business card, something in him switched off. He just… shut down, quiet and broody, barely making eye contact for the rest of the afternoon. He’s never like this with me.
I rest a hand on my belly, almost without thinking. Jake’s always been the one watching out for me, making sure I’m alright—he’s got that fierce, protective streak that’s sometimes a bit much but usually kind of comforting. But tonight he looked like he was the one who needed protecting. And I still have no idea why.
I hear the water stop and my heart skips. He can’t dodge me this time. I’m not leaving this alone until he tells me what’s going on. I get up from the bed, cross my arms, and wait by the bathroom door, listening to him moving around inside.
The door opens and Jake steps out, rubbing a towel over his hair. He freezes when he sees me standing there, then tries to step past me like I’ll just let him go off to bed without a word.
“We need to talk,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady.
“There’s nothing to talk about Hanny-bee.” His voice is low, guarded. He won’t even look at me.
“There clearly is. You’ve been acting weird ever since I handed you that business card. What’s wrong? Is it because he reminded you of your brother?” I’ve never asked him what happened to his brother and how he died so young. Jake didn’t want to talk about his past and I respected that. But now it’s affecting him, and what kind of friend would I be if I didn’t try to help him?
Jake hesitates, his jaw tight. For a second, I see something in his eyes—pain, maybe? But he looks away just as quickly, his face hardening.
“It’s… complicated, alright?” He brushes past me, heading toward the nursery where he sleeps on that stupid camp bed.
“Jake, I’m not leaving you alone until you tell me what’s going on.”
He turns around sharply and for a moment he glares at me. “Why can’t you just drop it?” His voice cracks a bit but he covers it up quickly, looking down at the floor.
I’m stunned. He never raises his voice at me, not like this.
“Because you’re my best friend. You’re always there for me: for a change let me be there for you. Something’s obviously eating at you and I just… I don’t understand why you won’t tell me.”
“Hanny-bee—” He takes a step closer and leans his forehead against mine. “I want to protect you, you and our princess.” His hand lands on my belly and there is a little kick from her as if our princess knows who is there and wants to say hi.
“It’s… not something I wanted you mixed up in. But I should tell you. I owe you that before I leave.”
“Leave? What do you mean leave?” My heart starts racing. He can’t leave us, we need him… I need him! I can’t be without him.
“If I want to protect you the safest option is to walk away and lead Grant away from you.” A mix of pain, frustration and fear is written all over his face.
That only makes me more anxious. “Who is this fucking guy?”
He finally looks at me after a long silence and there’s something dark in his eyes, a weight I’ve never seen before.
“He’s…,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “I know him from London. He’s the reason my brother’s dead.”
“He killed him?” Is that what he means? What else could it be?
“According to the court papers Grant raised a gun towards the police. Sean was trying to push him out the way and so the shot from the special branch hit him rather than Grant. During the struggle, Grant fell to the floor and police were able to arrest him without further resistance. But my brother paid the price.” Jake takes a step back and looks at me with concern. “Are you alright?” he whispers.
“I… I think I need to sit down.” Before I can move, he scoops me up in his arms and carries me to my bedroom where he gently places me on the bed.
“My brother was in Grant’s gang. They were mainly distributing drugs in London. Mum and I tried to get him to leave the gang but Sean didn’t want to listen.” Jake sits down next to me.
“Is that why Grant’s coming after you?” I feel like parts of the story are missing.
“Yes. And I was there when the gang were raided. I went to warn my brother that the police were looking for him and probably led them straight to him, because I’m a fucking idiot.” His face shows deep pain. I slide my hand into his and try to give him some comfort. “Grant blames me for getting him nicked and he’s not wrong. My statement at his trial was crucial. He warned me that he’ll come after me. That’s why I moved up here. I thought he wouldn’t find me. It’s all my fault.”
“He got your brother killed,” I try to reason.
“No, I did,” he whispers. A single tear is rolling over his face. I’ve never seen him so vulnerable and broken. Jake, my Jake, has always been strong… a protector; it made me forget that he may need some protecting himself.
“You didn—”
“Yes, yes I did.” He jumps from the bed and paces the room. “I led them to him and then I wasn’t able to protect him. And Sean’s death is what killed Mum. She died of a broken heart. I’ve caused all of this.”
I wish I could take that pain away from him but I know I can’t. Whatever I say won’t make a difference. Instead, I get up and pull him into a hug. He comes willingly and holds on tight to me. I try to give him whatever strength I can muster.
“You have to go to the police,” I whisper.
“What for?”
“Get a restraining order.”
Jake snorts and steps from my embrace. “There is one in place but he won’t care. If I want to keep you both safe I need to leave.” He looks determined and completely heart-broken at the same time.
“Do you think he’ll leave us alone just because you’re gone? He knows that I belong to you.” Despite the dire situation, saying those words aloud makes my heart race with longing for him.
“I—” He stares at me before shouting, “Fuck!”
“It’s all going to be alright.” I pull him back into my arms. Somehow being this close to him makes me feel safer, makes this all feel like this is just a bad dream.
“I’m not sure I share your optimism,” he mumbles against my neck.
“This is what we’re going to do. We’re going to speak to the police and we’re going to tell my family and your work.”
“Why?” He immediately puts a barrier up. I know that aside from me he hasn’t really let anyone at Fellside get close to him. He’s friends with Rob and a few people at the Greenview Manor Hotel; I even think he considers my brother a friend, but he only shows his vulnerable side to me. However, we need as much help as we can get and we know we can trust our friends and family.
“Because the police can advise us on what we should do. And they can look for him as he’s in breach of his restraining order.”
Jake gives me a doubtful look.
“And we’ll need my family and the Greenview Manor team to keep an eye out in case they see him lurking around.”
“I’m not sure—”
“I know this all may just be bollocks but that’s the best I can think of and I can’t come up with an alternative. Can you?” I cup his face and make him look at me.
“No. You’re right. Hopefully it at least protects you and the princess. I don’t care what happens to me,” he sighs.
Tears sting my eyes. “Please don’t say that, Jake. Please, don’t.” I curl up against his chest and wait for him to put his arms around me. When he finally does I relax a little. “You can’t leave us. Promise me that. Please. I love you.” The words are out before I can stop them. I hold my breath when he doesn’t react. He’s still for a second before gently putting a finger under my chin and making me look at him.
“You love me?”
“I—”
“Love me like… a friend?” All the fear seems to have disappeared from his face and there’s a new emotion. Hope.
“Maybe a little… a little more than a friend,” I sniffle and tears sting my eyes again. Bloody hormones.
“Hanny-bee, what are you saying?”
“I think I have fallen for you. I didn’t mean to tell you. I… I don’t want to mess up our friendship. But it’s true. Don’t ask me when because I don’t know. I just realised that what I thought was just friendship has been so much more to me for a while now.” I bite my lip nervously.
He cups my face with both his hands. His eyes are locked with mine and it feels like he’s trying to look into my soul. I’d let him. I’m an open book and he can read me as much as he wants. I have no secrets from him… anymore.
“Hanny-bee,” he whispers before moving closer.
I can feel his warm breath on my lips as he hesitates for a moment, savouring the anticipation. His hands slide down from my face to rest gently on my waist, pulling me slightly closer to him. The tension between us is electric and I find myself holding my breath.
Finally, his lips touch mine in the softest of kisses. It's barely a brush of his mouth against mine but it sends shivers down my spine. I melt into him, letting all the worries and anxiety fade away.
His lips are so gentle, moving slowly and deliberately against mine. Each touch is like a sweet caress that ignites a fire deep within me. I respond in kind by sliding my fingers through his hair and deepening the kiss.
Time seems to stand still as we lose ourselves in each other. There's no rush, no urgency; just the intoxicating thrill of finally giving into my feelings. His hands roam over my back causing a shiver to race through me.
His lips leave mine for just a moment, trailing hot kisses along the line of my jaw and down to the hollow of my throat. Goosebumps break out across my skin at his every touch and it's like I'm on fire from the inside out.
I tilt my head back to give him better access, relishing in the sensation of his lips on my skin. It's pure bliss; a heady mix of pleasure and longing that threatens to consume me completely.
We finally break apart, breathless and dizzy with emotion. There's a newfound spark in his eyes that takes my breath away and I can't help but smile.
"I love you too, Hanny-bee. I’ve been in love with you for so long,” he whispers.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I didn’t think you felt the same and I didn’t want to lose you. I’d rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all.”
“Oh, you just have to say swoon-worthy stuff like that don’t you?” I slap him gently on the chest and wipe away the tears.
“We have impeccably bad timing though.” The dark expression is back on his face.
“Or maybe it’s just the right time. I’d rather go through this knowing there are no secrets between us.” And if something goes wrong at least we’ll have these few moments . I don’t say that out loud and I’m not sure if that’s to avoid more worry for him or for me.
“Can I kiss you again?” he asks, looking at me sheepishly.
“You can do whatever you want with me.” Oh wow, where did that seductive voice come from? Jake swallows hard and his eyes go dark with desire.
I didn't think it was possible for him to look any sexier than he already does, but in this moment he absolutely takes my breath away.
He kisses me again, this time with a newfound confidence that makes my knees weak. His lips are soft yet insistent as they move against mine, coaxing a moan from deep within me.
His hands are everywhere at once—tangling in my hair, roaming over my back, squeezing my arse—like he’s desperate to touch every inch of me but doesn’t know where to start or finish.
He backs us towards the bed and guides me down without breaking our kiss. His lean body slides over me, although he’s careful to not put his weight on my tummy. He groans into my mouth as I grind against him, our bodies moving in perfect harmony. It's like we've been doing this forever, like we were made for each other.
Jake breaks the kiss, panting heavily as he rests his forehead against mine.
"Hannah…" he breathes my name like a prayer, his voice full of emotion.
"Yes?" I reply, equally breathless.
I look into his eyes and see all the love he feels for me reflected back at me. How did I never see this before? I must have been blind.
“If we go any further, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop because I’ve dreamed of this so long. So, if you’re not sure or don’t want this—”
“I want you, all of you. I want to take this next step. It scares me because I don’t want to lose you but I also don’t want to miss giving something a chance that could be amazing.” Of course we would be amazing together. To be fair, we already basically are a couple. The only thing we haven’t done yet is have sex. And fuck, do I regret not taking this step sooner.
Jake's eyes bore into mine, a silent promise of pleasure and passion. And then he leans in, his lips finding mine once more, igniting a fire that will forever change the course of our lives.