10. My First Clue #2
“No, I’m fine. I’m meeting him at the pizza place so we can talk about the bills and apartment shit,” I replied with a shrug.
He threw an arm around my shoulder and gave me a quick squeeze.
“I know it sucks right now, darlin’, but just remember that at the ripe age of almost twenty-three, you’ve got plenty of time to find Mr. Right.”
I smiled and rolled my eyes. “Smartass.”
“Yeah yeah. Go break up with that piece of shit and let’s find you a real cowboy for rodeo season,” Lucas shot back with a wink.
As he locked up, I walked the three blocks to the local pizza place. It wasn’t a large place, but it was cute. It had the old-school fifties diner vibes to it. Booth seating with checkered floors. Shiny chrome, red leather, and a jukebox in the corner.
Unsurprisingly, Todd wasn’t there yet, so I grabbed a booth in the back corner. When the waitress—an older woman with kind eyes—stopped by, I ordered a small cheese pizza and started absentmindedly organizing the red pepper flakes and parmesan packets that sat on the table.
The waitress came back and set a glass filled to the brim with a chocolate milkshake in front of me, a sad smile plastered across her face.
“Um, I didn’t order this,” I told her gently.
She nodded. “Oh I know, honey. You just look like you need it. Your pizza will be out shortly.”
Words wouldn’t leave my mouth as she walked back to the kitchen, all the air exiting my body as I leaned back against the booth and stared at the front door, willing this asshole to show up so I could just be finished with this.
Another five minutes passed before he finally swaggered in.
His eyes scanned the place until he saw me, walking over and sitting down across from me.
I didn’t say anything as I took him in. He looked…
exactly the same. His dark brown eyes were bright and alive for it being this late.
His sandy brown hair had a slight wave to it tonight, as if he took a shower earlier and let it air-dry.
I began to speak, but the waitress chose that moment to come back, setting the pizza in between us along with two plates—as if I’d be sharing this pizza with him.
“Can I get y’all anything else?” she asked cheerily, but I just shook my head and murmured a thank you as she turned and walked away.
Pulling out a few pepper and cheese packets, I tore them open and dumped them all around the whole pizza.
“I already ate,” he finally said. My eyes flicked up to his, and I bit down the snide reply I had. The one that said I didn’t care about his eating habits. This pizza was mine, hence the red pepper flakes. Todd hated spicy food. Should’ve been my first clue this relationship was doomed.
I pulled a slice of pizza off the tray, and, ignoring the plates, took a massive bite off the end.
Holy fuck, this was good.
Swallowing down an internal moan with the pizza, I finally looked at him once more.
“Well, I’m here,” he grumbled, his arms now crossed across his chest as he arched a brow at me.
“You sure are,” I replied back, the tone sassier than I’d meant it.
He paused for a moment, and part of me wondered if it was because he was confused over my tone. A tone I never used with him. “You wanted to meet, Ivy, so talk, or I’m outta here.”
I set my slice of pizza down, wiping the grease from my fingers and setting my arms on the table, my full attention on him now.
“What the fuck are we doing, Todd? You don’t like my friends; yours don’t seem to realize I exist. You left me alone in a bar while I was drunk to go fuck off doing fates only knows what.
You haven’t spoken to me in a week, and you seem just fine.
” His eyes darted around the room, and I let out a slow breath, realizing that my voice was rising to almost a yell.
“We live together. This isn’t some casual fling.
What are we doing?” I questioned, softer this time and not like a raging lunatic.
But he just shrugged.
He shrugged. Years of my life with the man across from me, and it was just now starting to hit me that this wasn’t a fair and even playing field we were on. Maybe it never had been.
“Okay, well. I’ll be calling the landlord in the morning to pay whatever the fee is to have my name taken off the lease. My things will be out by the end of the week, so don’t worry about that, and I’ll drop my key off when I’m finished if you won’t be home. Anything else?”
He scoffed, staring at me for a moment. “You can’t be serious.”
“Deadly, I’m finding.”
“That seems dramatic for a break, Ivy.”
A break? Was he being serious? “You want a break? Are you joking? You left me alone at the bar and didn’t speak to me for a week, Todd!”
He stared at me, his brown eyes going wide, the seriousness of the situation hopefully setting in. “You don’t mean to actually break up with me. I love you. We belong together, Ivy.”
He said it so matter-of-factly that my heart began to race, the words getting stuck in my throat and my resolve wavering. My eyes dropped to the table between us, suddenly wishing I hadn’t ordered the pizza because my appetite had vanished after the single bite I’d enjoyed.
“Ivy, please. I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend lately, but I do love you.
Work has been grinding against my nerves, and my dad’s been getting worse.
” He spoke quickly before he reached across the table, and his fingers brushed against my arm.
“I’ve been keeping you at arm’s length, and that isn’t fair. ”
“No, it isn’t,” I whispered, my eyes still refusing to meet his.
“Give me some time, babe. Please,” he pleaded, my heart still racing.
I’d given him time, right? Time and space to get better, and he’d just given me bullshit and sadness. But it hadn’t always been like this, had it? This uneven exchange of love I felt between us. The feeling of needing to give one hundred percent all the time while he gave barely twenty.
“I think I need some space,” I found myself whispering.
“Space? Okay, we can do space. Are you staying with your parents?”
I nodded. Lying had never felt good, but Todd had never liked Aspen. Telling him I was staying with her and Rowan would just be a massive argument I didn’t have the energy for. Not tonight.
The waitress chose that moment to come back, checking on us, and I asked for a box and the check. Boxing up my pizza, all I could think about was how I just wanted this day to fucking end.